Chapter 21: Reservations

Hermione had been feeling a little miffed since Ron, Harry and Ginny had left to visit Bill. When Ron had said to Harry that he was family, she couldn't help but be upset by the fact that he hadn't said the same of her. They had all been friends for the same amount of time hadn't they? They all saw each other just as often, if anything, she spent more time with the Weasley's than Harry did, she'd spent the whole summer in their company last year after all. Hermione had little experience of jealousy, but she felt it now, and couldn't really understand why. She hated feelings like jealousy; they worked without any sense of logic, and infuriated her because she couldn't figure them out. She knew that Harry and Ron were close, and that Harry did get on with most of Ron's brothers better than her, but he was a boy.

"Hermione…are you okay?" it was Ali, looking a little concerned,

Hermione figured she must've looked like she was brooding, "yes, I'm fine" she replied, unconvincingly

"You've been like this Ron left…. are you worried about them?"

"Yes" said Hermione, a little too quickly, grasping at the excuse,

Ali looked at her dubiously, "Hermione….I know we're not all that close…but I can tell you're lying…and…well…if it's something you want to talk about…well…you could tell me"

Hermione didn't even consider the offer; she had never been the type to discuss her problems or worries, much less with someone she didn't know extremely well. Ali had only been around a few months after all, and everyone else seemed to trust her implicitly, Hermione couldn't place why, but she didn't. Maybe it was just her nature, she had never been a trusting person, and seeing as there was a war on she thought it was probably for the best.

"It's nothing Ali, honestly" she replied, hoping her eyes wouldn't give her away,

"Okay then, if you're sure" Ali replied uncertainly, looking a little hurt at Hermione's hostility,

Hermione nodded briefly, and reached, hoping for a distraction, for her old failsafe; 'Hogwarts: A History'

On returning from visiting Bill, Harry told his friends about his idea to restart the DA and all of them were in absolute agreement.

"Ali…Professor Danson won't mind will she? I mean, it would be kind of like us saying that her club is useless…" asked Hermione, voicing Harry's unspoken concerns,

"I doubt it" said Ali thoughtfully, "she'd most likely just be pleased that we're taking our safety seriously"

"Good," said Harry, relieved, "I didn't want to offend her…especially when she's been so nice"

"So we're definitely going to restart then?" asked Ron enthusiastically,

"Yeah…I think we are" replied Harry, a little surprised that they had made the decision so easily,

"So," began Hermione, "do you think everyone will still have their Galleons? Will we still meet in the Room of Requirement? When will we meet? Should we invite new people? Maybe I should take some notes…"

Ron and Harry rolled their eyes at each other behind her back, in typical exasperation at Hermione and her over-enthusiasm.

"I think we should meet soon" said Ginny keenly, "and I for one still have my galleon"

"So do I," added Dean, "and I think most of the others will have kept theirs, but we can't rely on that as a way to inform them of the meeting…I mean they'll hardly be expecting the date to change, and most won't even notice."

"I think" continued Hermione, ignoring the glances Ron and Harry were sharing, "that we should split up the list and each tell a few people…that way we can remain inconspicuous"

"Do you think we still have to keep it a secret then?" asked Harry,

"Well, I think we have to tell at least some of the teachers, but I think it would be best if the students not involved didn't know…I mean, we don't know what side they're on, and just now we have the advantage of Voldemort underestimating us…we don't want to lose that" she replied, eyes alight as they always were when she had a project to think about,

"You're right, of course" replied Harry, a little sullenly, he knew it was for the best, but some things were just easier to deal with when they were out in the open,

"Well, I'll get to work on dividing up the list and I'll let you all know who you're to tell…do you think we should ask anyone else?" enquired Hermione, taking charge of the situation,

"How about the Quidditch team?" suggested Ali, "they all seem pretty trust-worthy, and they're always nice enough?"

"Yeah, I reckon we should ask them, I mean Jenny clearly hates Malfoy, what more do you need to know?" added Ron, laughing,

There were a few more suggestions of suitable members and it was decided that they should meet with prospective candidates a day or two before the actual meeting, in order to ensure they were trust-worthy, and genuinely interested.

The group headed to bed shortly afterwards, it had been a trying day, but despite that, the promise of restarting the DA ensured that Harry slept more soundly than he had done in quite some time.

They spent the next few days getting in touch with all the old DA members, most of who were delighted to hear it was restarting, and more than half of them had suggestions for new members. It was decided that they would meet the new members on Thursday – the only day that week when there was no Quidditch practice scheduled – in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom – which Caighlynne had kindly volunteered when she heard of their plans.

Hermione had decided that the best way to approach Professor Danson was to tell her honestly and at once what they were planning to do, to avoid her being upset at finding out through someone else. And as usual Hermione was right; Caighlynne was extremely supportive and not in the least offended. She even offered to help out if ever they needed advice or extra information, but she managed to do so whilst making it perfectly clear that she would leave them to their own devices until –if ever - they asked for her help.

It was Thursday, and Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ali, Ginny and Dean had just finished meeting all the students who wanted to join the DA; there weren't too many, thankfully. It wasn't that they didn't want more people as such; there were just things to take into account. Like how far advanced people were, the whole point of the DA was to get better at more specialised magic, having mastered the basics last year. There was also the trust issue; teenagers are never particularly trusting to begin with, and when there's a war going on that lack of faith in strangers is only intensified. 

Having said that there were of course exceptions, Jenny and Chris Taylor – the Griffindor beaters, seemed trustworthy, and were competent with basic defensive magic, and very eager to learn more – they were unanimously voted to join, as was Daniel Scott the Griffindor Chaser.

There were a few Hufflepuff's –Alison, Cara, and Ross – who were friends of Susan Bones, that were both competent and enthusiastic, and Susan vouched for their dependability. They were also voted in. Hermione, who knew them from Arithmancy class, said they had all been pleasant in the past.  

There was also a Ravenclaw – Blake – a friend of Anthoney Goldstein's who fitted the bill.

Hermione issued all the new members with fake galleons and told them to watch out for the date changing. They were told to find someone else from the group to show them how to get to the Room of Requirement when the day for the meeting came.

They were all suitably impressed with the Galleons, and Hermione couldn't help but smile inwardly at her inventions.

"They are brilliant, you know" whispered Ron in her ear, encouragingly,

She beamed at him, her discomfort from earlier in the week gone, and kissed him lightly, "so are you" she whispered back, and the tips of his ears turned scarlet.

They made their way to the Great Hall for dinner, eagerly discussing the upcoming DA meetings and the new members, which inevitably lead to discussion of other extra curricular activities; essentially Quidditch, and their upcoming match against Hufflepuff. 

Harry and Ron got into a serious debate over tactics and the best way to approach the match, eagerly planning new manoeuvres to try at the next practice. Ali and Ginny listened at first, being part of the team and all, but had soon lost interest when they realised they weren't likely to be included in the discussion. Hermione was thankful seeing as she always felt a little left out when it came to Quidditch, even Dean, a muggle born like herself that had never heard of it before Hogwarts, had become a huge fan of the action-packed sport.

They settled into their usual seats, Harry and Ron still avidly planning, and were about to start eating when Professor Dumbledore stood to address the hall.

"Good Evening students, I don't wish to keep you from your meals long, but I have an announcement to make that I think you will be interested in. In order to further develop student relations, and diminish house rivalries, we have decided to hold another Yule Ball, open to students fourth year and up, unless invited by someone older. More details will be released nearer the time, as for now, you can return to your meals,"

Chatter broke out all through the hall, at this unexpected announcement, both excited and nervous. The nerves mostly coming from the boys, especially the younger ones, who it seemed, were dreading the ordeal of finding a date. Harry, for one, had never been so glad to have a girlfriend. Although the more he considered it, the more uneasy he became; was he still supposed to ask Ali to go with him? Or would she just assume they were going together, like he was doing?

He stared at the roof of the Hall, watching the enchanted stars intently, as though looking for divine guidance, when he realised there was one 'star' much closer to home, that was much more likely to help; Sirius. Instinctively upon thinking his name, Harry looked to Sirius' usual spot at the table – between Remus and Tonks – to find him missing. Neither Remus nor Tonks looked worried, which reassured Harry, though only slightly, it was still his basic instinct to panic.

"You guys…look" Harry attempted to get the attention of his friends, "Sirius isn't at the staff table"

As soon as they processed what he had said, they shared a collective glance at his empty seat, mild confusion showing on their faces.

"Wonder where he is…"pondered Ron, looking around the Hall, as though expecting him to be somewhere else in the vicinity,

"Now that I think about it" mused Hermione, "I haven't seen him around all day, and I usually see him at some point, patrolling the corridors or something at least…"

"Very strange" added Ginny, "and it's not like Sirius to miss a meal"

"No, it isn't" agreed Harry, suddenly looking incredibly thoughtful,

"I'm sure he's fine" reassured Ali, squeezing his hand warmly,

"Yeah," said Ron, "and after all, he is free now, maybe he just went out for a drink or something"

"You guys are ri-" Harry was cut off, his attention caught by a movement at the door, several others had noticed the newcomer as well, and were staring open-mouthed, dinner forgotten, for there at the doorway, stood Luna Lovegood, though the term stood was a very loose description, she looked ready to collapse at any moment.

The teachers and 'Defence Team' – as they had been fondly named were on their feet in seconds rushing towards the poor girl, not without necessary precaution though. Professor Danson was the first to reach her, and at once performed the 'Conoscasi' spell to remove any influences of the Imperius curse. It made no difference to Luna though; she remained standing at the doorway, staring ahead of her, not really saying anything.

"Ms Lovegood?" called Dumbledore, "Ms Lovegood?" he continued, after receiving no response, "Luna? Can you hear me?" Still no response.

"I think I should take her to my office…she's obviously been through quite an ordeal, and we need to find out what happened to her." Dumbledore continued this time speaking to the gathering of teachers around him.

"Of course" agreed McGonagall, whilst most others muttered their shared agreement,

"I think" interjected Trisana – one of the Aurors making up the Defence Team, "That there should be at least one more person there…she was kidnapped by a Death Eater, she's either damn lucky that she escaped, or she's been sent back for a reason."

"But look at her" began Danson, feeling sympathetic towards her. "I already used Conoscasi, so we know she's not being controlled"

Trisana's steely gaze never faltered, her tone grave "If she has been sent back by Voldemort, which like it or not, is a possibility, I'd rather be fully equipped to deal with that than not. If she truly did escape then the extra precaution will do no harm"

Caighlynne nodded, eyes sweeping Luna's tired body, still full of concern whilst Dumbledore swept her out of the Great Hall, presumably to his office, Trisana following soundlessly.

The hall remained silent for several minutes, no-one wanted to be the first to speak, though they all had questions that they were desperate to voice. Students began to eat again, picking at their meals to serve as a distraction from what had just transpired. Some of the Ravenclaw girls looked especially troubled, Harry noted after glancing round the hall. Probably her friends.

As relieved as he was to see her, the feeling was somewhat diminished after seeing the state she was in. Her clothes were torn and filthy, not only stained with dirt and mud, but with blood. Luna had always been quite skinny, but her skin seemed to be hanging off of her bones, her eyes were clouded over and deeply sunken into her face. Her lips looked cracked and broken, though Harry hadn't been able to see them all that clearly. He couldn't remove that image of her from his mind.

No-one ate very much that evening, and when they retired to the common room, the atmosphere was unlike anything Harry had ever known. No-one knew how to react to Luna's arrival, should they be pleased that she was back? Or sorry for the fact she was gone? Should they feel guilty that they never saved her? Or glad she escaped? And the biggest question of all, the one no-one dared voice, should they trust her?

Harry felt guilty for even suspecting Luna; it wasn't her fault she'd been kidnapped after all. At the same time though, he had more experience with Voldemort and his followers than most, and though he liked and respected Luna, if he was brutally honest with himself he knew she was no match for them. Not by herself, not against so many.

It was the one thing no-one could comprehend, what happened to her? How had she survived? How had she made it back to Hogwarts? Harry silently pondered whether or not Dumbledore would even tell them, and it frustrated him to no end, realising that of course, he wouldn't. Dumbledore had far too much respect for Luna and her privacy to do that. Who knew what kind of torture she would have experienced under the power of the Death Eaters? Well no-one of course, that was the problem, and Harry could understand perfectly that that's how Luna would want it to stay.

Harry looked up suddenly, realising that it was only himself, Ron, Ali and Ginny left in the common room, all the others had gone to bed already.

"It feels…strange" began Ali, noticing that Harry had left his thoughts, "You know? She was in some of my classes…and I missed her, but I'd accepted the fact she was gone, I suppose I probably assumed she was dead…and now…she's back."

Ginny nodded, wiping a silent tear from her cheek, though her eyes continued to water, "I know…I feel bad, thinking she was dead…it's like we didn't do enough, like we gave up and forgot her…"

"We did though, didn't we?" said Harry scathingly, berating himself along with the others,

"No" said Ron, "We didn't forget, we mourned, we accepted and we moved on. There's nothing wrong with that. There was nothing we could do to help her, so we reinforced our decision to fight against the side that did that to her. We did not give up, and I for one never will, not until this is long over." His eyes flashed with determination, and his jaw was set.

Harry, Ali and Ginny were looking at him in bewilderment, they hadn't expected such a speech from Ron, but they were aware of the solemnity of what he had said and nodded determinedly in reply.

The silent vow of sorts, helped to lighten the mood in the common room, the air no longer felt quite as thick, and the silence was no longer quite so oppressive.

"I think I'm going to bed" announced Harry suddenly, coming to the decision that sleep would be the best thing for all of them, and leaned over to kiss Ali goodnight.

"I think I'll go too" added Ron, Ali and Ginny murmuring agreement as they headed to the stairs.

Harry paused watching Ali as she climbed the stairs, only to be brought back to reality by Ron seconds later, "You're really taken with her, aren't you?"

Harry blushed slightly and nodded, "She's amazing"

Ron blushed a little himself and replied, "I know what you mean," a smile slipping onto his face as he thought of Hermione.

The next week passed by as all weeks do, through classes, homework, quidditch practice, and preparing for the meeting of the DA Harry had no time for anything else.

Luna settled back into life at the castle fairly quickly, and the students recovered from their initial reaction to her. Things weren't exactly back to normal though, because no-one knew what had happened to Luna while she was gone, not even Dumbledore. She hadn't told him a thing, because she claimed she didn't know.

Memory charms were perhaps the cause, but Harry, Ron and Hermione had inadvertently caught a snippet of conversation between Dumbledore and McGonagall that suggested that Dumbledore thought Luna was suffering trauma, and her mind, in an attempt to defend itself, had locked all memories of that time away, so she would never have to face them again.

Though that explanation was simple enough, and made perfect sense, many of the students had a hard time accepting Luna back into the fold, though if the truth were told, things weren't that different for Luna than they'd always been. She had never been universally popular, in truth she hadn't even been close and those that had stuck by her then, stuck by her now, Harry, Ron, Dean, Ginny, Ali and Hermione included. Luna was very eager to rejoin the DA, which they had invited her to, though it had taken some careful consideration to reach the decision to do so. In the end, the need to show support for a struggling friend had far surpassed the possible dangers of her inadvertently alerting Voldemort to the group.

Harry had gone over some duelling techniques with Caighlynne after his last Occlumency lesson, in preparation for the meeting. He wanted to kick off with a bang, and make a good impression; Caighlynne's help had insured that was possible.

He had planned to ask Sirius to help him practice, but he could barely ever find him. Sirius seemed to have taken to leaving several times in the day, but no-one knew where he went, well either that or no-one was telling. And then when he was around he had too many things to do, he checked all the wards around the castle every day, and still liked to patrol the corridors at every opportunity. Harry knew what he was doing was important, but that didn't change the fact that he missed his godfather.

Though the more he thought about it, the more he realised just how lucky he was to have Sirius there at all, most students didn't see any of their family during the school term at all. In fact Harry was beginning to wonder how he had coped in the past without Sirius there. Though he tried not to dwell on it, as Sirius put it,

'Don't be so stuck in the past that the present has to kick you in the ass to remind you to live'

Not exactly literate genius, but the concept was clear enough.

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Dearest Readers.

You must be really irritated with me by now. I keep promising chapters, and they never show up on time, the only thing I can do now is apologize. I've had a little case of writers block this chapter, I know what's going to happen next in the story, but I can't think of a way to get there, and I can't find a way to say "a month or so passed" properly, I hate it enough when I write that about weeks passing. Never fear though, I'm getting there eventually, it just takes some time. I'm working on it though!

This is usually where I promise another chapter soon, well, I'm not going to. It should only be a week till the next one, but who knows what will happen between now and then. Best not to make promises I can't keep.

I hope you're still enjoying what I write, because though I'm struggling for ideas, I'd like to believe that you like it. Anyway, I will leave this note here, reply to the reviews and post this. Doubtless you've been waiting long enough for it.

Happy Reading,

From your dedicated author,

Believe

Anna L. Black – Lovely to hear from you again, and I'm delighted to see you stuck with the story! As always thank-you for the kind comments and I hope this instalment was to your liking!

Jbfritz – Thank-you again, you are much too kind. Glad to know you'd be interested in a sequel, though I haven't finalised my decision on that – most likely there will be one.

WeasleyGurl – Thank-you for the delightful comments, I'm so thrilled you like my work. As ever I aim to please, and on such a note you will be glad to hear that there will be an appearance by Fred and George in the next chapter or so. I love them too –I'm always worried about messing them up as I write them though!