A/N No Naley love in this chapter sorry, the much needed Lucas/Peyton talk
takes place. Naley will return in full force the next chapter I promise.
Chapter 12
"So..." Lucas said awkwardly, trying to break the terrible silence that had loomed over him and Peyton as soon as Haley and Nathan had left.
"So..." Was her only reply.
"Do you want to kill them or should I?"
"Why don't we both do it? It'll be more fun that way."
"True, true. I can't believe they did this. I mean, I'd expect it from Hales, ever since she and Nathan got together she's been on a find Lucas a stable relationship mission but..."
"You're surprised Nathan went a long with it."
"Well yeah. I mean I know we haven't been at each other's throats in a while but I can't see him caring about my love life, certainly not yours."
"Perhaps. But the man would do anything for Haley. You have to see that. He'd dig a hole through the Earth if he thought she wanted him to."
Lucas grimaced, he still wasn't totally used to the idea of his best friend and his half-brother together.
"Don't make that face Luke. You know it's the truth."
"Yeah I know but it still seems weird to me you know. They're so different."
"But opposites attract right. Beside, I don't think they're so different."
"How do you figure?"
"Well it seems to me that they both try hard to live up to the images people have of them. With Nathan it's the basketball star image, with Haley it's the smart, sweet tutor but underneath there's a lot more to both of them and I think they're trying just as hard to make the world see that. They saw it in each other first."
"I know there's more to Haley than being smart."
"Yeah but did you ever see her as something other than the best friend you've known since grade school, ever seen her as a woman?"
Lucas remained silent.
"I didn't think so. Nathan does see her that way. He doesn't see her as pretty in an innocent, childish sort of way like you do. He sees her as beautiful, sexy and he makes her feel it. You may not like to think about it but she needs someone to make her feel like that, to see her like that."
"And look where it got her."
"Pregnant. Yeah and they seem to be handling that better than you are. I saw how you averted your eyes from Haley's belly. You still don't want to admit that it's real. Face it Lucas, Haley isn't your little Haley anymore. That Haley doesn't exist anymore. She's with Nathan. She's happy, they're happy. He dotes on her. When will you stop pretending to be happy for them and just be it."
"Maybe I can't. Maybe, unlike everyone else I'm trying to look at this from a realistic perspective. I'm sure he's made all kinds of promises to her, probably a lot like the promises Dan made to my mom and he still has plenty of time to break them."
"You still think Nathan's going to walk away."
"Of course he is. He's just like Dan and sooner or later he's going to prove it once again."
"Are you saying that because you really believe it or because you hope Nathan walks out on her?"
"What? You think I'd wish pain on my best friend."
"I don't know Luke but it seems to me that you don't want to be wrong about Nathan and I think I know why."
"Oh do you."
"It's always been you and Haley, since you were kids. You leaned on each other, depended on each other. Even though your relationship was never romantic, without realizing it you thought of her as yours, yours to turn to when Nathan pissed you off, yours to lean on after a bad day and other stuff that you would otherwise have turned to a significant other for. You liked that. Then she found Nathan and suddenly you're not the one she goes to for that stuff. She cries on Nathan's shoulder when she has a bad day at work or is fighting with her mom. She celebrates with him when things are going well and she confides with him. She's not yours anymore and that bothers you. You want Nathan to bail on her because then you'd your old role back in her life. Well get over it. You know, maybe in the beginning Nathan stuck around because he wanted to do the right thing and because he truly loves Haley but now it's more than that. Now he's also sticking around because he loves that baby. He carries that sonogram picture around with him everywhere. The other day I saw him looking at a baby-name website. Get it through your head Lucas, Nathan doesn't want to walk out on Haley and he's not going to."
"Did you rehearse that."
"No. I've found it's more effective to improvise. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"Maybe you're right. It does bug me that Haley turns to him when she used to turn to me and you know what bugs me even more?"
"What?"
"He's always going to have a connection to her that I'll never have. Even if they do break up, that baby's going to tie them together."
"Yeah."
"So enough about Nathan and Haley. I don't think they set this all up so that we could talk about them."
Peyton smiled. "No probably not. What do you want to talk about then?"
"Us."
"Lucas..."
"Just listen okay. I know you're upset about me and Brooke but I didn't do anything wrong. You and I weren't together and you gave me the impression that you didn't want us to be. I'm sorry that I hurt you but it's not my fault that I can't read your mind or that you're the queen of mixed signals. I want to be with you. I always have but I'm not willing to put my life on hold while you figure things out."
"I never told you to put your life on hold."
"No? Then why did you get so upset when I hooked up with Brooke?" She remained silent. "See. You know I'm right."
"That's not the point Lucas."
"No, the point is that we like each other, a lot I think and it's time we set aside our trademark angst and drama and did something about it."
"What did you have in mind."
He moved in and kissed her. "Something along those lines."
"Mmmm. Do it again." He obliged.
When they pulled apart again he spoke seriously. "Peyton, I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to be a one night stand. I want to be your boyfriend so if you don't want that tell me now and I won't waste any more of our time."
"I want that too Luke but..." She trailed off.
"But what?"
"I'm no good at relationships. With Nathan it was all drama and I'm equally to blame. I'm afraid I'll only hurt you."
"I'm a big boy Peyton. If it comes to that, I can handle it. Besides, I doubt you could hurt me anymore than you did the night we almost slept together and you ran off."
"Oh. Luke I'm..."
"Don't apologize. You know, I've never been in a serious relationship."
"You haven't?"
"Nope. The only girl I've ever been close to is Haley and that was never about romance. So we'll learn together."
"Okay."
"Now let's go find Nathan and Haley so we can thank them."
"Yeah, thank them, then kill them."
Chapter 12
"So..." Lucas said awkwardly, trying to break the terrible silence that had loomed over him and Peyton as soon as Haley and Nathan had left.
"So..." Was her only reply.
"Do you want to kill them or should I?"
"Why don't we both do it? It'll be more fun that way."
"True, true. I can't believe they did this. I mean, I'd expect it from Hales, ever since she and Nathan got together she's been on a find Lucas a stable relationship mission but..."
"You're surprised Nathan went a long with it."
"Well yeah. I mean I know we haven't been at each other's throats in a while but I can't see him caring about my love life, certainly not yours."
"Perhaps. But the man would do anything for Haley. You have to see that. He'd dig a hole through the Earth if he thought she wanted him to."
Lucas grimaced, he still wasn't totally used to the idea of his best friend and his half-brother together.
"Don't make that face Luke. You know it's the truth."
"Yeah I know but it still seems weird to me you know. They're so different."
"But opposites attract right. Beside, I don't think they're so different."
"How do you figure?"
"Well it seems to me that they both try hard to live up to the images people have of them. With Nathan it's the basketball star image, with Haley it's the smart, sweet tutor but underneath there's a lot more to both of them and I think they're trying just as hard to make the world see that. They saw it in each other first."
"I know there's more to Haley than being smart."
"Yeah but did you ever see her as something other than the best friend you've known since grade school, ever seen her as a woman?"
Lucas remained silent.
"I didn't think so. Nathan does see her that way. He doesn't see her as pretty in an innocent, childish sort of way like you do. He sees her as beautiful, sexy and he makes her feel it. You may not like to think about it but she needs someone to make her feel like that, to see her like that."
"And look where it got her."
"Pregnant. Yeah and they seem to be handling that better than you are. I saw how you averted your eyes from Haley's belly. You still don't want to admit that it's real. Face it Lucas, Haley isn't your little Haley anymore. That Haley doesn't exist anymore. She's with Nathan. She's happy, they're happy. He dotes on her. When will you stop pretending to be happy for them and just be it."
"Maybe I can't. Maybe, unlike everyone else I'm trying to look at this from a realistic perspective. I'm sure he's made all kinds of promises to her, probably a lot like the promises Dan made to my mom and he still has plenty of time to break them."
"You still think Nathan's going to walk away."
"Of course he is. He's just like Dan and sooner or later he's going to prove it once again."
"Are you saying that because you really believe it or because you hope Nathan walks out on her?"
"What? You think I'd wish pain on my best friend."
"I don't know Luke but it seems to me that you don't want to be wrong about Nathan and I think I know why."
"Oh do you."
"It's always been you and Haley, since you were kids. You leaned on each other, depended on each other. Even though your relationship was never romantic, without realizing it you thought of her as yours, yours to turn to when Nathan pissed you off, yours to lean on after a bad day and other stuff that you would otherwise have turned to a significant other for. You liked that. Then she found Nathan and suddenly you're not the one she goes to for that stuff. She cries on Nathan's shoulder when she has a bad day at work or is fighting with her mom. She celebrates with him when things are going well and she confides with him. She's not yours anymore and that bothers you. You want Nathan to bail on her because then you'd your old role back in her life. Well get over it. You know, maybe in the beginning Nathan stuck around because he wanted to do the right thing and because he truly loves Haley but now it's more than that. Now he's also sticking around because he loves that baby. He carries that sonogram picture around with him everywhere. The other day I saw him looking at a baby-name website. Get it through your head Lucas, Nathan doesn't want to walk out on Haley and he's not going to."
"Did you rehearse that."
"No. I've found it's more effective to improvise. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"Maybe you're right. It does bug me that Haley turns to him when she used to turn to me and you know what bugs me even more?"
"What?"
"He's always going to have a connection to her that I'll never have. Even if they do break up, that baby's going to tie them together."
"Yeah."
"So enough about Nathan and Haley. I don't think they set this all up so that we could talk about them."
Peyton smiled. "No probably not. What do you want to talk about then?"
"Us."
"Lucas..."
"Just listen okay. I know you're upset about me and Brooke but I didn't do anything wrong. You and I weren't together and you gave me the impression that you didn't want us to be. I'm sorry that I hurt you but it's not my fault that I can't read your mind or that you're the queen of mixed signals. I want to be with you. I always have but I'm not willing to put my life on hold while you figure things out."
"I never told you to put your life on hold."
"No? Then why did you get so upset when I hooked up with Brooke?" She remained silent. "See. You know I'm right."
"That's not the point Lucas."
"No, the point is that we like each other, a lot I think and it's time we set aside our trademark angst and drama and did something about it."
"What did you have in mind."
He moved in and kissed her. "Something along those lines."
"Mmmm. Do it again." He obliged.
When they pulled apart again he spoke seriously. "Peyton, I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to be a one night stand. I want to be your boyfriend so if you don't want that tell me now and I won't waste any more of our time."
"I want that too Luke but..." She trailed off.
"But what?"
"I'm no good at relationships. With Nathan it was all drama and I'm equally to blame. I'm afraid I'll only hurt you."
"I'm a big boy Peyton. If it comes to that, I can handle it. Besides, I doubt you could hurt me anymore than you did the night we almost slept together and you ran off."
"Oh. Luke I'm..."
"Don't apologize. You know, I've never been in a serious relationship."
"You haven't?"
"Nope. The only girl I've ever been close to is Haley and that was never about romance. So we'll learn together."
"Okay."
"Now let's go find Nathan and Haley so we can thank them."
"Yeah, thank them, then kill them."
