A/N Well I should be studying for my French-Canadian literature final but a
little procrastination never hurt anyone. And one can only spend so many
hours in a row analysing plots and themes and character developments.
Chapter Fourteen
Precisely half an hour later Nathan pulled up to the docks. Lucas was already there, scowling.
"Gee, you really aren't a morning person are you."
"It's not even five in the morning. I've slept all of four hours of the recommended eight. I'm tired. So you better say whatever was so important that it couldn't wait until a more decent hour. Like two in the afternoon."
"Aren't we cheerful this morning."
"Really not in the mood."
"Okay okay. I'm pretty sure you already know why I wanted you to meet me here."
"Something about Haley. Look Nathan, I'm really not in the talking mood."
"That's fine because I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. So sit."
Normally, Lucas would have ignored his half-brother's request on principle but the look in Nathan's eyes suggested that he wasn't about to play games. Whatever this was about, it was serious. He sat down on a bench. "Okay, talk. I'm listening. I don't want to be but I'm listening."
"Good. And no interrupting. Look, I know you and Haley go back a long time. I admit that in the beginning I saw your close friendship as an opportunity. I confess I had every intention of using her to get to you."
"Why you." Lucas was ready to deck Nathan.
"I said no interrupting. That's why. Hopefully if you let me say everything I have to say as I want to say it you won't want to kill me at the end."
"Fine." Lucas grumbled.
"Okay. Yes, when I first asked Haley to tutor me my motives were less than honourable and yes I was completely self-serving but I had no idea what I was getting into. Come on you know Haley. You know how stubborn and persistent she is. She managed to get underneath my Mr Popular Basketball Star exterior, something no one's ever done. She made me realize what a jerk I was being to you and to her. When she ran off after Brooke made her think I'd passed her note around to all the guys, it hit me that I wanted to make things right with her, not so I could hurt you but so I could get to know her. It occurred to me that normally I wouldn't have cared if a girl ran off like she did but I cared then. See that's what Haley's done for me. She's made me see the error of my ways so to speak and she's made me want to change. I like to think I have. See Lucas, I know that despite the basketball games we've played and the few civilized conversations we've had that below the surface, you still think of me as the same Nathan who pushed you in the mud and made your life miserable. I want you to know I don't blame you. You of all people have every reason to believe I'm a jerk and I know that you're going to take the longest to convince but I'm working on it.
You know, in the beginning I wanted to work things out with you because Haley wanted it so much. She kept telling me how much it would mean for her to see her best friend and her boyfriend getting along. And then it was for the baby's sake because I don't want to have to explain to my child why I don't get along with his or her uncle. I don't want him or her to look at me and you and see what I've always seen looking at Dad and Uncle Keith. But at some point, I'm not even sure when honestly, it stopped being about everyone else and started being about me and me wanting to have a relationship with my brother. I want to regain what was taken from us Luke. I want to know you, like I would have if we'd grown up as brother's. I want to know I can turn to you when I need to talk or just let loose and that you can turn to me. I want us to really be brothers."
"Nathan I--"
Nathan cut him off again. "Did I say I was done? I know you think I'm going to walk out on Haley. I guess that's fair given what Dad did to your mom but believe it or not I am not Dan Scott. I share some of his genes, his name and his gift for basketball. So do you and that doesn't mean you'd walk out on your pregnant girlfriend. You don't like my relationship with Haley. That's your call but the status quo isn't changing any time soon. I'm not the one asking her to make a choice. You are and that choice was pretty clear tonight. I'm here because I don't want it to come down to that. I don't want her to lose her best friend because as much as I hate it sometimes, she needs you. So here's the deal. I'm going to do my best to prove that you're wrong about me but you're going to do something too. You're going to make Haley believe that you think you were wrong about me."
"Why is that so important to you?"
"Because Haley cried herself to sleep tonight, not because of something I did but because she'd told her best friend to get out of her life. I promised myself a long time ago that I would always do whatever I could to keep her from crying."
"I don't want to know how you know she cried herself to sleep."
"You really still in denial about that Lucas? She didn't want to be alone. You really upset her."
"You know, I always figured I'd be the one to pick up the pieces after you hurt her. Never figured it'd be the other way around."
"You wanna know something, me neither."
"You really do love her don't you?"
"Yeah I do. You going to be okay with that?"
"I'll work on it. I guess you're not such a bad guy?"
"What convinced you?'
"Honestly, if I'd had a chance to get you out of Haley's life, I probably would have taken it. You're being a bigger man than I would have been. I'm surprised."
"Me too. Any potential benefits of having you out of her life were overshadowed by how miserable she was."
"You think she'll forgive me?"
"Yeah. She loves you Lucas. It drives me crazy but she loves you."
They both got up and began walking. They talked about a lot of things. Things they'd never gotten out in the open, like what it had been like for Lucas growing up so close to Dan Scott and his family and yet so far and what it had been like for Nathan growing up so close to Dan it was smothering. They talked about how Nathan was dealing with his parents' divorce and what Lucas thought about the budding relationship between his mom and their uncle Keith. They also talked about Peyton and Lucas threatened to kick Nathan's butt if he ever messed with his love life again, after thanking him. Nathan expressed his fears and anxieties about fatherhood and while Lucas was no expert on the topic, his reassurance that Nathan would be a good dad meant more coming from him than from anyone else. By the time they stopped talking the sun was starting to rise. Nathan dropped Lucas off at home before driving back to his house. He climbed back into bed next to Haley, kissing her forehead before drifting off to sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Precisely half an hour later Nathan pulled up to the docks. Lucas was already there, scowling.
"Gee, you really aren't a morning person are you."
"It's not even five in the morning. I've slept all of four hours of the recommended eight. I'm tired. So you better say whatever was so important that it couldn't wait until a more decent hour. Like two in the afternoon."
"Aren't we cheerful this morning."
"Really not in the mood."
"Okay okay. I'm pretty sure you already know why I wanted you to meet me here."
"Something about Haley. Look Nathan, I'm really not in the talking mood."
"That's fine because I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. So sit."
Normally, Lucas would have ignored his half-brother's request on principle but the look in Nathan's eyes suggested that he wasn't about to play games. Whatever this was about, it was serious. He sat down on a bench. "Okay, talk. I'm listening. I don't want to be but I'm listening."
"Good. And no interrupting. Look, I know you and Haley go back a long time. I admit that in the beginning I saw your close friendship as an opportunity. I confess I had every intention of using her to get to you."
"Why you." Lucas was ready to deck Nathan.
"I said no interrupting. That's why. Hopefully if you let me say everything I have to say as I want to say it you won't want to kill me at the end."
"Fine." Lucas grumbled.
"Okay. Yes, when I first asked Haley to tutor me my motives were less than honourable and yes I was completely self-serving but I had no idea what I was getting into. Come on you know Haley. You know how stubborn and persistent she is. She managed to get underneath my Mr Popular Basketball Star exterior, something no one's ever done. She made me realize what a jerk I was being to you and to her. When she ran off after Brooke made her think I'd passed her note around to all the guys, it hit me that I wanted to make things right with her, not so I could hurt you but so I could get to know her. It occurred to me that normally I wouldn't have cared if a girl ran off like she did but I cared then. See that's what Haley's done for me. She's made me see the error of my ways so to speak and she's made me want to change. I like to think I have. See Lucas, I know that despite the basketball games we've played and the few civilized conversations we've had that below the surface, you still think of me as the same Nathan who pushed you in the mud and made your life miserable. I want you to know I don't blame you. You of all people have every reason to believe I'm a jerk and I know that you're going to take the longest to convince but I'm working on it.
You know, in the beginning I wanted to work things out with you because Haley wanted it so much. She kept telling me how much it would mean for her to see her best friend and her boyfriend getting along. And then it was for the baby's sake because I don't want to have to explain to my child why I don't get along with his or her uncle. I don't want him or her to look at me and you and see what I've always seen looking at Dad and Uncle Keith. But at some point, I'm not even sure when honestly, it stopped being about everyone else and started being about me and me wanting to have a relationship with my brother. I want to regain what was taken from us Luke. I want to know you, like I would have if we'd grown up as brother's. I want to know I can turn to you when I need to talk or just let loose and that you can turn to me. I want us to really be brothers."
"Nathan I--"
Nathan cut him off again. "Did I say I was done? I know you think I'm going to walk out on Haley. I guess that's fair given what Dad did to your mom but believe it or not I am not Dan Scott. I share some of his genes, his name and his gift for basketball. So do you and that doesn't mean you'd walk out on your pregnant girlfriend. You don't like my relationship with Haley. That's your call but the status quo isn't changing any time soon. I'm not the one asking her to make a choice. You are and that choice was pretty clear tonight. I'm here because I don't want it to come down to that. I don't want her to lose her best friend because as much as I hate it sometimes, she needs you. So here's the deal. I'm going to do my best to prove that you're wrong about me but you're going to do something too. You're going to make Haley believe that you think you were wrong about me."
"Why is that so important to you?"
"Because Haley cried herself to sleep tonight, not because of something I did but because she'd told her best friend to get out of her life. I promised myself a long time ago that I would always do whatever I could to keep her from crying."
"I don't want to know how you know she cried herself to sleep."
"You really still in denial about that Lucas? She didn't want to be alone. You really upset her."
"You know, I always figured I'd be the one to pick up the pieces after you hurt her. Never figured it'd be the other way around."
"You wanna know something, me neither."
"You really do love her don't you?"
"Yeah I do. You going to be okay with that?"
"I'll work on it. I guess you're not such a bad guy?"
"What convinced you?'
"Honestly, if I'd had a chance to get you out of Haley's life, I probably would have taken it. You're being a bigger man than I would have been. I'm surprised."
"Me too. Any potential benefits of having you out of her life were overshadowed by how miserable she was."
"You think she'll forgive me?"
"Yeah. She loves you Lucas. It drives me crazy but she loves you."
They both got up and began walking. They talked about a lot of things. Things they'd never gotten out in the open, like what it had been like for Lucas growing up so close to Dan Scott and his family and yet so far and what it had been like for Nathan growing up so close to Dan it was smothering. They talked about how Nathan was dealing with his parents' divorce and what Lucas thought about the budding relationship between his mom and their uncle Keith. They also talked about Peyton and Lucas threatened to kick Nathan's butt if he ever messed with his love life again, after thanking him. Nathan expressed his fears and anxieties about fatherhood and while Lucas was no expert on the topic, his reassurance that Nathan would be a good dad meant more coming from him than from anyone else. By the time they stopped talking the sun was starting to rise. Nathan dropped Lucas off at home before driving back to his house. He climbed back into bed next to Haley, kissing her forehead before drifting off to sleep.
