A/N: Happy New Year, folks!!! Thx for reviewing my last chapter: Nyoko (Yeah, I'm still not up to figure out a plot. I guess I'll just have to develop one when I get the guts to start another Gravi story. For this one it's hopeless.), Pato San (Yeah, poor Yuki. He's having a real hard time.), Tama-chan ('course it's hard to write! That's why I dubbed you as Tama-chan. Hope it's okay. I interrupt them? Well, I'm interested what do you say to this chapter… Shu is my cutie. I have to protect his innocence. I'm not going to give him up to "sexual-frustratet Yuki" anytime soon.), TheSilentSenshi (Of course Mika has an ulterior motive. She's as wicked as Yuki.), Hikaru Itsuko (Yuki is being Yuki. Ever read the manga? My Yuki is much more like him than in the anime. I think.), akuma_river (Woohoo! Ye love me fic? *does a happy dance*), mirai aria (Yeah, the phone… You smelled right.), Kaouru (Wow, loved your super long review. Sorry that I didn't update over the vacation.), KittyKitty (Action??? I always thought cute little kitties were innocent creatures. What kind of action are you refering to…;), Inari K (Aha, another plot searcher. I'm telling you there is none. I just write what pops into my head when Friday is coming closer. But great that I made you happy.), Showndra Ridge (I agree. I'm a dramatic.), JadesRose (Told you it's crazy over here. Though ever saw what a stop sign forest they have in New Jerey? That's also crazy. And when they didn't any signs anymore they painted it on the street. x.x), AISH (I'm perplexed obviously you worked the whole story out for yourself already. Well, let's see what's happening since I pretty much forgot everything over the vacation.), panatlantic (Thx!!!!), Gravitation Maniac (Hey, great you like this story so far!!!!), xiao (omg, I hope it's not gonna be my fault when you're messing up your finals. If you do I'm gonna send Mika over to give you a good tongue lashing!!!), Miss Kitty3 (It's all a thing about bringing up the kids. French kids start doing the kissing cheek thing as soon as they get it's the right & polite thing to do. If a guy tried to that with my brother, he'd end up with a broken nose.), Megamie (Thank you!!!!! And come back again!!!) Chapter 13 : Yuki's dilemma

Yuki and Shuichi both sat silently under the tree. Both deep in thought while Shuichi was still munching on his ice cream.

The tall blonde glanced at his « secret » lover – well secret to Shuichi at least - he mused. 'God, that doesn't go at all like I wanted it to go. If it goes on like that I can go alone on our Christmas vacation.' Yuki sighed and let himself fall backwards onto the grass.

Shuichi carefully eyed the blonde wondering what was up with Yuki today. He was acting kind of weird, pressured. Was it maybe his fault? Did the kiss made Yuki uncomfortable around him? 'But no way, he started it. So why should I feel guilty about it?' He glanced into the almost empty container. 'Well, Yuki should make it up to me soon or there really won't be anything left.' He blew his bangs out of his eyes stealing a glance at Yuki but unfortunately something crossed his line of vision.

Namely two legs and a white skirt. Shuichi blinked and Yuki had sat up instantly.

"What are you doing here?" The blonde asked irritated. "Does everybody has the goal on bothering me today?"

Shuichi jerked his head around to Yuki. 'Did that include me?' Shu scrunched up his face. But Yuki didn't look at Shuichi since he was busy glaring holes into the head of the dark haired female.

"Excuse me Eiri but what do you think you're doing? I didn't give you up so that you can ruin everything." She hissed angrily.

"Geez, what's wrong with you Ayaka?" Yuki asked with barely concealed surprise. 'What the fuck is she doing here? And what the heck is it with that temper? I didn't even know she had one and then against me?'

"What's wrong with me? I'd rather ask what's wrong with you two. Sitting here all nice and cosy having not a care in the world while Hiro is worried sick at home."

'Ah, there it's coming from.' Yuki smirked at her. "I think it's really not your business what we're doing. Tell loverboy everything is okay." Yuki slided over to Shuichi who sat like a statue listening with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

'What was going on here? Why did Ayaka didn't like him spending time with Yuki? And Hiro as well? Maybe this is all a big mistake? I mean I can only trust what Yuki is telling me. Damn, this is confusing.' Shuichi let the empty ice container fall to the side and attempted to get up but he hadn't counted on Yuki who used the opportunity to snatch one of hands and pull him over to his side.

Yuki smirked at Ayaka. "You see everything is just fine between Shuichi and me. Why don't you report that back home?" He dropped his arm around Shuichi's shoulders. "Or did you come on your own just to see what your chances are now that Shu can't remember anything anymore?" He smiled at her with a ting of bitterness.

Ayaka lost her glare. "You're sad Eiri you know. Stop playing with people and just tell them outright what's going on." She glanced at Shuichi and gave him a small smile before turning her glare full force on the blonde. "Why don't you let Shuichi decide and stop all this nonsense or are you too scared of what his answer will be?" Ayaka gave Yuki one more searching look before she turned and walked away.

The blonde stared motionless after her. "Bitch."

That brought Shuichi out of his stupor and in a blink he shrugged off Yuki's arm and stood up.

'Oh oh, here we go again. He's angry with me. Somehow I always manage to piss him off today. And somehow it's always my mouth… Great going, Eiri.' "So what did I do now?" Yuki asked carefully.

"What did you do? You just hurt Ayaka. Are you that cold or just downright stupid?"

Yuki froze. What was that? That didn't sound like his Shu at all rather … rather something he would say … to Shuichi. Only if he was annoyed of course. The blonde stared expressionless at Shuichi's blazing eyes.

"How can you been so mean? And what the heck is going on here anyway? You said you're my friend but how come I feel like you're lying to me. What do you hide? And what's with you and Ayaka? Why is Hiro worried? Yuki please tell me what's going on. I don't know what to think." Shuichi had dropped to his knees holding his aching head. "My head hurts."

Yuki watched him quietly before leaning over to gently stroke Shuichi's fluffy hair. "I'm sorry." He said almost to quiet to hear for Shuichi.

"It's not done with a simple sorry. Did you lie to me? Are you not my friend?" Shuichi asked still upset.

'He's scared.' Yuki realized. 'All I did was wanting to protect him and now everything is already screwed up. Fuck! Maybe Ayaka was right after all. I'm just hiding for the possibility that Shuichi wouldn't want me anymore.' Yuki gave a bitter smile. "I am your friend, Shu. And I've been much more to you in the past if everything just wasn't a lie." The tall man sighed.

"Can you explain?"

Yuki stayed silent and Shuichi looked up at the blonde who wore an expression as if it hurt him to think over an answer.

"Yuki?"

The young author looked at his secret lover.

"Please?" Shuichi asked quietly.

Yuki looked long and intently at the singer's face before letting out a defeated breath. "Okay. Let's start with Ayaka." He leant back against the tree. "Currently she's Hiro's girlfriend but before that we were engaged." Yuki watched Shuichi's face. The pink haired man looked surprised.

Shuichi didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected that.

"My father was responsible for that. He thought once I'm married I would drop my current life style and I would take over the family temple. Delirious old monk." Yuki snorted. "As if I ever would do that. Although actually I have to say I almost did but you managed to get me out of that affair. After that the engagement was annulled and Ayaka somehow got together with Hiro."

Shuichi nodded slowly. He remembered when Ayaka moved in with Hiro but nothing about an engagement. "Why is Hiro worried?"

Yuki grinned. "I guess because he thinks we're both idiots."

Shuichi let his head drop comically. 'Baka Hiro.' "Do you think Ayaka wants you back?"

Yuki laughed. "No. I don't think so. Don't worry."

"I'm not worrying." Shuichi muttered under his breath though why did he felt so relieved then.

"I think she's doing well with Hiro together but let's just say both of them were in the past very concerned about … about our friendship." Yuki had difficulty getting the word out. But he wasn't sure he should reveal everything to Shuichi. Maybe he should wait a bit.

Shuichi frowned. "Why? Did we had a lot of problems?"

Yuki shrugged remembering the past year. "Well, it wasn't exactly easy either. Our personalities are very different."

Shuichi looked doubtful. "Still something feels still funny here. First Mika, now Ayaka. It's a bit weird of how much of a fuss they're making just because I forgot you." Shuichi said looking up at Yuki.

He had caught him offguard. The last of the sentence was still ringing in Yuki's head and damn did it hurt. 'Just because I forgot you.' Was that all? Yuki's head was reeling. Didn't Shuichi feel anything? Was everything hopeless? Didn't he mean anything at all to him? Yuki stood up in a rush. He had to get away. Slowly the blonde got his face under control and turned away from Shuichi walking down to the small path at the railing.

Shuichi stumbled after him still shocked to see so much emotion on the usually calm face. And what he had seen was absolutely what he never wanted to see again. Somehow he had hurt the blonde with his big mouth and his stomach twisted painfully but still his so called friend was definitely hiding something from him otherwise he wouldn't have reacted like that. Angrily he stopped Yuki at his arm and turned him around. The cool expressionless face was back and the dark amber eyes were glaring at him. In a moment Shuichi forgot his guilt and the anger returned full force. "What are you hiding? Ayaka was right wasn't she? It's something so big you're scared to tell me."

Yuki glared at him in return and pulled his arm free. "It's none of your business." Yuki turned to go.

"Stop right there. You're saying it's none of my business? How can that be if it has to do with me?" Shuichi was almost screaming now and thankfully it was already late in the afternoon now so they had this part of the park to themselves.

Yuki stared at him hard. 'What does he think? That's all fun for me keeping him in the dark like that? No, not at all. Just if he knew he would probably just turn away and leave me in the dark just like I've been for so long.' He needed Shuichi to be with him. If Shuichi was there it was never dark. The blonde shrugged. 'I'm just so screwed up.' But he had forgotten that Shuichi was still waiting for an answer and obviously a simple shrug wasn't enough.

"Damn, you Yuki. Why can't you just spit it out?"

Should he really? He took a deep breath. "I…"

Shuichi looked at him.

ringring

Shuichi blinked. Yuki looked at his smaller lover seeing how with each ringing he looked less furious but instead more sad.

"Aren't you going to pick it up?" Shuichi asked quietly.

"I know who it is." Yuki said looking at him.

Shuichi nodded. "I though so." He turned away but before he could do a single step Yuki caught his arm.

"Wait."

Shuichi turned around to look at the blonde. Yuki smiled and took out his cell phone. Looking at it he said with a small smile. "I don't think I'll need that for the rest of today, hm?!"

He gave Shuichi a grin and threw it without a second doubt over the railing behind him where the phone fell into the dephts of the city below.

"You're crazy you know." Shuichi said with a slight smile.

"Hm, I know but you too. That's why we two fit so good together." Yuki grinned. "How about we start over, okay?!"

Shuichi shrugged. "Okay."

Yuki hold out his right hand. "Yuki Eiri."

Shuichi smiled and grabbed the offered hand. "Shindou Shuichi. Wanna be friends?"

Yuki nodded smiling all the while. They shook hands. "Come on let's go somewhere else for the rest of the evening."

Yuki took Shuichi's hand and dragged him over where all their stuff was laid out.

But Shuichi stopped him. "Yuki?"

The blonde glanced at the young man beside him. "Yes?"

Shuichi groaned holding his stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Yuki rolled his eyes. "Baka."   

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Okay, that's the end of the picnic. Sorry, if it's gotten a bit weird but I guess it was a mistake to let the picnic scene unfinished. I've forgotten totally what I was going to write about over the holidays. *sigh* Anyway hope you had a great vacation. See you next Friday.