A/N : Hi guys! I did something stupid but I already corrected my mistake. I accidently wrote in chapter 14 that Yuki invited Shuichi to the fair but that's not true since I had planned for them to go to Kyoto. Anyway it's fixed and I hope you're not too confused. Anyway thx to my lovely reviewers: Pato San (Yeah, I'll need it since I'm so stressed out I'm starting to mess up things. @.@), Souls Judge, Anubis (Thank you oh ancient god of death!), Kaouru (Hope Shuichi's side/ feelings getting a bit clearer to you in this chapter!), Devona Wolfe (Nah, we're already at chapter 15. Only five more weeks and we're through. Be patient! The end will come eventually.), Shuichi-kun (Hm, not too much romance. It'll be way too mushy then. Thx anyhow!), Akiyama Sagara (Oh yeah I know what you're talking about. Ever read stories white on black? That makes me all fuzzy in my head after some time.), JadesRose (*laughs* Thank you! I know my grammar and spelling must be horrible. The most difficult is always to find your own mistakes. I really wish for my own comp sometimes. But there will come a time when I'm back in Germany where I'll revise all the chapters…), Gothic Rose (De rien! You're welcome!), Inari K (Don't worry, it's good to know what you think. Though I still think the chapter served a purpose which other readers found to. I appreciate your review though. It seems a bit like a fill in chapter but people had been questioning character appearances in the picnic scene and I needed to explain it. Hope you like this chapter better though since it's somewhat critical to the story this time.), KittyKitty (Figuring out is near…), Eiri Izz (Great to have you back! Actually your review pleased me the most since when I read a story and it makes me emotional I usually love it. So thank you very much!), hyperactive-frogchild (Interesting name! Though my fic being brilliant? Nahhhh. But as long as it's entertaining I'll write. ^_^), Dearest (Whoohoo. Thank you! Thank you!), CassiToTheStars (Looks like you had the same problem like me. Fanfiction.net can be funny sometimes. And you extra came back? Whaaa. You're soo sweet.), AISH (Yeah, wake up call in person of his father. Too bad I wasn't present at their conversation. x.x), CJ-Chan (Huhu! You're back for this chapter?), Joan Mistress of Magic (Ha. I knew you'd write for the HP fandom. Actually I have to hurry with this so I can read this awesome DracoxGinny story. Woohoo!), mirai aria (Course Shu has to sing. Though it's in one of the last chapters.)

Chapter 15 : A step into the right direction

The trip took quite awhile and it was already noon when they arrived at Yuki's family estate, an old temple. The blonde was surprised how well the trip went so far.

'Looks like Tohma kept his promise.' He mused silently. 'No crazy rock stars, nor obsessed females. My chances are good on surviving the day without any major heart ache.' Yuki sighed. 'Wishful thinking.' And let his head hang.

"Hey Yuki, are you alright?" Shuichi scrambled out of the car looking awed around himself. "Whoa. You really grew up here? It's beautiful."

Yuki shrugged and looked around. 'Well, not bad but I'd miss the hectic in the city.' He slammed his car door shut and locked it then walked over to Shuichi who was busy taking in every grass, tree and stone running around like a weasle. 'I knew it was a bad thing to drive through without a rest. Built up energy is crucial with pets like Shu.' He thought while patting Shuichi's head who had come back and proceeded now to drag him over the estate.

"Look Yuki. This is real old. Traditional." Shuichi grinned. Having grown up in Tokyo all the things of a country home left him exited like a little boy. Yuki had to smile. At least he already managed to please him today. So far so good. "Say Yuki. Can you play tour guide and you tell me all kinds of stories you remember of these places?" The singer looked at him beaming.

The blonde thought it over. 'Hm. Positiv: He gets to know me. Negativ: Maybe he'll know me too good afterwards.' Yuki frowned. But in the end he agreed to Shuichi's wish. 'The baka had accepted me once. He'll do it again or I'll throttle all those who put those positiv thoughts in my head beginning with my psychologist.' "Okay, Shu. Where do you want to start?"

Instead of an answer though Shuichi started to giggle at which Yuki lifted an eyebrow. "Something I said?"

Shuichi nodded still smiling. "You called me Shu."

Yuki looked at him confused. "So?" Then it clicked. 'Ah shit shit shit. Yuki, you idiot. Calling him Shu of all things.' The blonde hold his breath waiting for the pink haired's reaction but Shuichi only flashed him a grin latched onto his arm and said. "It's cute. I like it."

Yuki looked down on the mop of pink fluffy hair and had trouble to stop himself from kissing it. Instead he let out a long suffering sigh. "Okay. Let's start with the residence, after it the grounds and then the temple."

Shuichi nodded eagerly and with that they stepped into the house. The Uesugi residence was quiet inside. The sun fell through the paper windows. Leaving their shoes at the entrance Yuki led him through the ground level.

"Is nobody here, Yuki?" Shuichi asked curiously.

"My father should be here as well as Taka-chan. She's a maid who's been helping my father since Mika got married and moved out." They stepped into a long corridor. "Okay. Over there is the kitchen, the pantry, my fathers office, the living room- What?!" Yuki looked down on his arm to Shuichi who had been yanking impatiently on his arm. Now he stood there pouting beside him. 'Really too cute when he does that.'

"Yuki, not like that. You have to tell stories. You promised me I can get to know you and I really want to." Shuichi scratched his head. "It's hard to explain but you see right now I feel like I'm missing a part of myself. There's a black hole in my memory where once were all the things I knew about you. So now I need new stuff to stow in there meaning you have to explain things a bit more thourough." The smaller man looked pleadingly at him willing him to understand.

The blonde was baffled at the intense look. A warm feeling settled in his stomach as he realized that the lost memories were not only imortant to him but also to Shuichi who now tried everything to regain them even if he had to learn everything anew. And this time Yuki was more than willing to explain to his lover whatever he wanted to know. Yuki nodded at Shuichi and entered the kitchen with the pantry. "The kitchen was never a place for me. It's something I connect with my mother how she had always something good prepared for us when we came home from school. Like a hot chocolate in the winter." Yuki walked around the table. "When I was smaller I used to sneak into the pantry to grab some cookies. Usually I convinced Tatsuha to be out on watch for mother or Mika." Yuki grinned. "Mika was already then a very big sister. Always after us for these and that. Tatsuha was the real trouble maker in our family though being the youngest and all. When mother died Mika became for him something like a second mother. I guess she tried to be there for me, too. Though I couldn't really accept her to be taking mothers place. I resented her for that. Trying to boss me around. I guess she only wanted to help me. Well, she still does." Yuki smirked at Shuichi who listened silently. "And I guess I still have trouble accepting it."

Shuichi grinned. "She said something like that."

The blonde nodded and went to the next room. "This is actually our dining room. At least once a day we ate here together which was usually in the evening during the week. Tatsuha and me sat next to each other facing our mother and Mika. My father used to sit at the end of the table. My mother was a real good cook. Mika was actually pretty good too."

Shuichi looked back to him. "Really?! Why isn't she cooking herself now anymore?"

Yuki shrugged. "I don't know. Guess she has no time and for whom should she prepare something? It's not like Tohma really has a lot of time to eat home."

Shuichi leaned against the table. "That's too bad. I'm sure Mika would be a great mom."

Yuki laughed out loud. "Well probably. Actually this is a good idea. Tatsuha and I would be very grateful if her attention would be occupied by something else. Though I guess you have to talk Tohma into it first." Yuki grinned. 'A kid would definitely help getting rid of some unwanted attention. I should have a little man to man talk with Tohma.'

"Hey Yuki. Come over here. I didn't know that those old houses were so modern inside."

Yuki followed his lover's voice into the living room. Eyeing the modern TV set, couch, armchair and table he replied. "That was Mika. After she married she took care of most things in the house as well as getting some new furnishings. She likes to be comfortable when she's over for a visit which is quite often." He slid a door open and stepped onto the terasse looking over the small lake.

"Wow, you even got a lake here? Have you been swimming in it when you were small?" Shuichi came up beside him stepping outside.

"Well, not really swimming. It's not very deep but enough to refresh yourself when it's been hot in the summer."

"Oh. Do you like to swim?" Shuichi stole a glance at the tall goodlooking blonde wondering how he would look in trunks. As soon as he got the picture he blushed a deep red and walked back inside the house to escape Yuki's suspicious looks.

Yuki looked curiously after him. 'What's he so flustered about?'

Shuichi was already back in the corridor half way up the stairs. "It's okay if we take a look upstairs?" He half asked before vanishing upstairs. Yuki followed his over curiously lover.

"So which one is yours?" Shuichi turned around asking him.

Yuki smirked. "Guess."

Shuichi's eyes lit up and he run off to open the first room. 'Light yellow. Fancy Japanese dolls? Nope.' He ran to the next one only to discover it was the bedroom of Yuki's father. The next room was almost completely covered in posters of Nittle Grasper and for awhile he stood there admiring them until he came across his own face. 'Tatsuha has also posters of Bad Luck?' It felt a bit weird to look at your image pinned on the wall so he backed out again but only managed to bump into Yuki who stood behind him. "Oh sorry, Yuki."

"So how do you like Tatsuha's room?"

"Hm, I like the posters of Nittle Grasper though it's kinda strange to see yourself on them."

Yuki crutinized the poster Shuichi and the singer could feel the blood return to his cheeks. "Hm, I think it's pretty good though it's not up to the original." Yuki said with a small smile playing on his lips. Not knowing how to answer to that Shuichi ducked under Yuki's arm and strolled to the last room. 'What's going on? It doesn't matter what he says it always makes me jittery. Something is weird today.' Shuichi thought. But he couldn't pinpoint just what was different from their other meetings. Pushing the last door open he was momentarily blinded by the sun who shone into the room. After blinking several times he took in a bit smaller room than the other two. Layed out with tatami mats, a fouton, a desk and a wall closet. On the white walls were several shelfs with books and old scrolls with Chinese signs.

"So how do you like it?"

Shuichi whirled around to see Yuki stand close behind him. He felt the tingling in his stomach again and not leaving those amber colored eyes he replied. "It's you."

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "And how's that?"

Shuichi looked dumbfounded. He hadn't really thought about the why he just knew it was. Letting his gaze drift through the room he came up with an answer. "Well, you're an author. Surely you read all those books." Shuichi pointed at the shelfs.

Yuki smiled seeing through the lame excuse for an answer. 'Looks like his gut feeling works as good as ever.'

They both left Yuki's room to go out to the backyard. Shuichi was running ahead and was just waving and calling to Yuki when he smacked into something short, knobby but definitely human. For a moment the world was black with glaring bright stars which finally narrowed down on two. Yuki crouched next to his fallen lover who once again had smashed his poor head. Concerned he patted Shuichi's hand and gazed into Shuichi's half closed eyes.

"Yuki, is that you?" The singer mumbled.

'Yes, yes, it's me. Do you recognize me?' Yuki's heart hoped, stopped and broke as Shuichi sat up and he still obviously remembered nothing. 'Maybe he has to hit his head harder? If that is even possible.' Yuki frowned while Shuichi was rooted to the spot where he sat as the black lump opposite of him began moving.

"It moves Yuki." Shuichi whispered.

Yuki cast a look at what his lover stared and shrugged. "Don't worry. His head is probably even harder than yours. Nothing to worry about." He said while giving his lover a once over.

Suddenly the lump started shrieking. "Son, don't speak to your father in this manner. You are to respect your elders. Shame on you." The old man howled who slowly got to his feet brushing his priest clothing. Shuichi who was still stunned to see a monk shouting like this remained sitting on the ground glancing uncertain between father and son.

Yuki scowled currently at the old man. "And this is your way to greet visitors? No wonder the temple is deserted. You should stop scaring people away from the temple and give it over to Tatsuha. God knows, he needs something useful to do."

His fathers eyes got big. "Tatsuha? Are you out of your mind Eiri? The boy causes mayham more than those grounds can bear. Just last weekenend he showed up with this guy who constantly spoke to a pink rabbit." He let out a long suffering sigh and shook his head as his gaze fell on Shuichi. "Now, don't I know you?" He came closer eying the suspiciously pink hair. Then he suddenly pointed at him. "Ha, I knew it. You're one of those crazy rock stars. Probably in the same league like that other crazy airhead."

Before he had even finished his sentence Shuichi was clinging to his legs looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. "Oh, do you really think I'm in the same league like Sakuma-san? Did you hear this Yuki?" Shuichi shot a dreamy eyed look at Yuki who rolled his eyes in turn at Shuichi's antics. 'Trust him to bring my father's temper through the roof. I knew we are the perfect match.' He grinned as his fathers face got all red and he screamed.

"Get of me! What do you think you're doing? I'm a highly respected monk. What will people think? That I'm as queer as my son and his little -" He didn't get to finish his sentence as Yuki had clamped a hand over his mouth and dragged him away from Shuichi and over to the temple.

Shuichi remained once more on the ground his head reeling from what he just heard. He wasn't stupid and there were only so many possibilities how the sentence could have ended. So what did it mean? Did it imply that Yuki was gay? And him as well? Did it mean they had been…

Shuichi shot up and started pacing before he stopped and looked over to where father and son had a more or less heated talk. Shuichi shook his head and walked over to the lake where he stared on the surface. 'It would explain some things at least.' He remembered Yuki being upset back in the hospital as he discovered Shuichi had lost his memory only of him. 'How shocked he was back then.' Or when the blonde was uncharacteristically nervous only around him. 'He was always different around me than with others.' Shuichi thought. And the picnic? The kiss? The things he had felt when Yuki had kissed him but had been stamped down again since he wasn't gay, was he? 'I mean I only felt around Yuki like that never with someone else.' Shuichi pulled at his pink hair. Just what was true and what was imagination but deep down he already knew the answer. Though the question was just what did Yuki expect him to do now? He couldn't just forget those new revelations. Therefore they were simply too outrageous and what if everything was really absolutely true? That there had been something between him and Yuki. How did the blonde feel about them? Before he could come to a conclusion though a heavy hand fell on his shoulder and Shuichi jumped in surprise.

"Now now my son. It's only me." The old monk said and settled on the grass next to the lake patting the spot beside him. "Common my boy sit down. I think there's something we have to talk about."

Shuichi sat slowly beside the old man. Looking around he asked. "Where did Yuki go?"

The man beside him smiled. "Don't worry. He's inside the temple clearing his mind. He has some things to sort out with himself."

Shuichi stared silently out at the lake.

The old monk sighed. "Look, there's probably a nicer way to find out the truth like this but sooner or later you would have realized it yourself eventually. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"So it's true. Yuki and me were somehow involved before the accident?"

The man studied Shuichi's face. "Involved? I dare say you were lovers."

Shuichi's eyes widened and his mouth moved though no sound came out.

"I know that's a bit much to chew on but I think it's best to make a clear table before my son makes even a bigger mess."

Shuichi frowned. "He didn't want me to know, didn't he?"

"No, not really. He knew one day you would find out but -"

"But?" Yuki's father shook his head. "I think this is something he needs to explain to you himself. I can guess why though."

Silence settled between them.

"You know actually I didn't even realize that you two weren't together at the moment."

Shuichi looked up surprised at the monk. "How come?"

The monk shrugged. "You see. When the two of you are together you have a way with each other that doesn't leave any doubts for an outsider that the two of you belong together. It's hard to explain but I'm sure your friends would tell you the same. One can see it, feel it."

Shuichi thought about that. "When I've been together with Yuki I always felt oddly at ease like I've known him forever."

"Possible. Since it's only your head who forgot but not your heart." The old man looked intensly at him. "The heart never forgets." He sighed.

Shuichi propped his head onto his knees he had pulled close to him. "So all those little things I felt were because my body misses him?" As soon as the words left Shuichi's mouth he realized how that must sound and flushed beet red.

The monk though didn't loose his cool and explained. "The pull you felt is only natural, deep inside you missed something though you couldn't place what all the time, isn't that right?"

Shuichi nodded.

"Now. I think it's better if you go talk to Yuki now. He should have cooled down enough to think clear again. We don't get on really that well with each other." Yuki's father stood up. "Well then young man, good luck, god knows you need it since my son is as stubborn as a mule." He laughed to himself and walked off.

But Shuichi remembered something and ran after him. "Wait Uesugi-sama."

The monk looked curiously at him. "What is it my son?"

Shuichi looked a bit flustered. "The thing when you actually eh spilled the beans. Hm." Shuichi took a deep breath. "Would you resent it my being together with Yuki?"

The old man studied the worried face of his son's lover. 'Hach, as worried as ever over Yuki.' Softly he patted Shuichi's fluffy hair. "Don't worry my boy. Not everything my son and I throw each other at our head has any reason. At times it's only habit and really I think you're very good for my boy." With that he nodded and walked over to the residence.

Shuichi followed instead the path to the temple. It was dark inside the old building and it took a while to make out the kneeling figure in front of the buddha. Shuichi walked quietly over and settled beside Yuki on his knees. The blonde didn't acknowledge him though didn't even open his eyes.

Shuichi sighed. 'His father was right. He is stubborn as a mule.' "Yuki?"

No response.

He crawled around to sit in front of the blonde and studied his face. 'He's god damn handsome.' His gaze flew over the finely structured face, the closed eyes, straight nose to Yuki's lips which were pressed together in a straight line. 'At least some reaction. Though what if I…' Shuichi didn't really thought it over before he had his lips pressed to Yuki and his hand cupped the blonde's cheek.

Yuki's eyes flew open in shock. 'What the…?' Before he could react though the warmth on his lips was gone and he stared into Shuichi's blue eyes.

"Are you going to talk to me now?" His lover asked smirking at him.

"I take it my father just filled you in on some things." Yuki asked quietly dreading the answer.

"Yes."

He must have winced since Shuichi's hand was back on his cheek caressing it lightly. "It's okay Yuki. I'm not mad or anything. I'm just glad that this isn't anymore between us. I mean that was it what made you act all nervous around me at times, or?"

Yuki gave him a loopsided smile.

"Okay. I take that as a yes. You know what your father told me explained at least some of the things I felt. I'm kind of relieved now. Whenever I was alone at Tohma's mansion I would ponder all those weird sensations I would experience in your company and after well after you kissed me I guess I freaked cuz ah well cuz I liked it." He scratched his head in embarressment hiding his eyes behind his bangs.

Yuki looked astonished at him. 'Oh god, don't tell me that he was as tormented as I was with the situation. God, I'm such an idiot. I should have told him it myself sooner.' He groaned.

"Are you okay Yuki?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. I'm just feeling so…"

"Dumb?" Shuichi grinned at him.

Yuki glared. "I wanted to say confused."

"Sure." Shuichi mocked. The young man felt as if a weight had been lifted of his shoulders. For the first time after the accident the fog in his mind got a bit lighter, clearer even if it was just his feelings not his memory.

They both stood up and walked to the exit. Shyly Shuichi grabbed Yuki's hand. "We're still starting over, aren't we?"

Yuki nodded with a small smile.

"Say Yuki why didn't you just tell me right away?" Shuichi looked just up in time to see a shadow cross the blondes face and his eyes getting dark and haunted.

Shuichi felt surprised. 'Looks like I still don't know the whole truth. But for today it's enough I guess.' Taking in Yuki's pained expression he gave the blonde a small smile. "It's okay. Don't say anything. I can wait."

The blonde looked relieved and nodded. Hand in hand they left the temple.

***********************

God, what a stress this week. I'm so happy that this chapter is done though I'm kinda surprised about the outcome. I didn't know Yuki's father would actually let the cat out of the bag. Anyway I like Shu in this chappie. He's such a sweetie. I let him be understanding with Yuki. I mean he has quite a temper but with Yuki he was always patient and did what was best for his lover. So what do you think about this chappie. Happy that some new cards are on the table?