A.N. HI!!! Okay so it's been a while, but I'm back with a new one J I hope you guys didn't all go and forget about me! I was inspired to write this by the song, Sarah Machlachlan's Good Enough, which is a great song, on a great album, by a great artist, so I hope you like it. Also, I can definitely see a series coming out of this if you guys like it. I leave a lot of questions unanswered, so if you are interested in seeing more, let me know with a review!!! Good to be back, and hope you're all well… enjoy!
*Maddy*
disclaimer: I don't own the show.
Good Enough
Hey your glass is empty
it's a hell of a long way home
why don't you let me take you,
it's no good to go alone
I never would have opened up,
but you seemed so real to me
after all the bullshit I've heard
it's refreshing not to see
I don't have to pretend
she doesn't expect it from me
It was just another stupid party. Another forced social event that no one really wanted to go to, but everyone did, because it was the only polite thing to do. She scowled at her napkin, or the remains of it, twisted into a coil in her hand. Actually, for her, it wasn't the polite thing to do, it was an obligation. It was her parent's anniversary party; the daughter figure was probably a required guest. She would have risked being impolite and skipped the whole thing if there had been any choice involved.
She did a quick scan of the room. Her husband, of course, was no where to be seen. Probably chatting up the coatroom girl or one of the waitresses in the kitchen. She knew he was good at that; it had worked on her. Everyone was dancing, talking, or laughing, and it occurred to her that maybe other people weren't in complete hell. Maybe this was actually a good time for some of these people. Had she ever been one of them?
No one was really wondering where she was. She figured she could probably just slip out and not be missed, but then she caught one person's eye in the crowd. She wondered how long he'd been watching.
Chandler felt his face get a little hot when he realized he'd been caught staring at her. He knew what she was probably thinking, but it wasn't that at all. Well, this time, anyway. He was just wondering if she was okay. She'd been sitting at the bar for almost a half hour, looking more miserable than he'd seen ever seen her. He'd never known beauty to resonate from misery, but she never ceased to amaze him. He gave her a little smile, threw his hands up in a 'you-caught-me' surrender, and made his way towards her. She forced a smile back.
"Bartender must be a real interesting guy," he commented as he approached, taking the seat next to her. She raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Haven't seen you all night," he explained.
"Who, Tom? Yeah, Tom and I are pretty tight now. He's a singer, did you know that? Yeah, mostly hip hop, but if you really get him going he's been known to sing a few show tunes," she deadpanned. He grinned.
"Need a re-fill, smartass?" he asked, indicating her empty glass. She shook her head.
"I'm cutting myself off."
"Well that's just no fun."
"Don't think it would be a blast either way, really," she said rolling her eyes. She went back to twisting her napkin, and he looked at her curiously.
"When did you get so sarcastic?" he asked.
"When did you?" she challenged.
"Touche," he grinned. She felt herself smiling back, and for the millionth time in her life wondered how he could do that every time.
"You gonna tell me what's up, or do I have to actually ask?" he said, touching her bare shoulder.
"Nothing's up," she said. He looked at her disbelievingly. "Okay, nothing new is up."
"Where's Richard?"
"Don't know," she said, evading his eyes.
"Have things gotten any better between-" he began, referring to earlier conversations the two of them had had on similar occasions.
"Can we not talk about me and Richard?" she cut in. "If that's all right."
"Of course it's all right. Mon… you can be honest with me, you know that, right?"
"I'm only ever completely honest with you. I lie to everyone else, but I save the really shitty stuff for you," she tried to joke. He smiled a little.
"I'm honest with you too, always, and I'm going to be honest right now. He's an asshole, Mon. Whatever happened, whatever he said, whatever he did… he's an asshole."
"What happened to not talking about it?"
"That's all I'm gonna say."
"I want to go home," she said, placing the napkin on the bar.
Don't tell me I haven't been good to you
don't tell me I have never been there for you
don't tell me why
nothing is good enough…
Hey little girl would you like some candy
your momma said that it's OK
The door is open come on outside-
no I can't come out today
it's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
and threw you to the ground
who's there that makes you so afraid
you're shaken to the bone
and I don't understand
you deserve so much more than this
After saying goodbye to her parents, her friends, and her brother, she asked Rachel to tell Richard she left (if she saw him, which she doubted she would) and she let Chandler take her home.
"Thanks," she said as they came to the front door of the apartment building she'd lived in for the past three years, across town from his own. "I appreciate you walking me back."
"Of course, any time. I feel like the only time I get to be alone with you is walking back from somewhere." She looked at him, and it seemed she was lost in thought, looking past him.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Mon," he grabbed her elbow. "Why the hell did you do it? Why did you marry him?"
"Chandler," she sighed, jerking her arm away from him. "I'm not doing this anymore. Haven't you had enough?" she said, and he could almost feel her exhaustion.
"No, I haven't. You're miserable, Monica. Admit it."
"Whatever, yeah, I'm not happy. That's not the end of the world. Lot's of people don't have the perfect marriage."
"Not like you. I'm worried about you."
She gave a short laugh. "Too little too late Chandler. Maybe you should have- never mind. I said I wasn't doing this, and I'm not. Goodnight," she turned to open the door.
"You didn't answer me. Why'd you do it?" She turned slowly. He felt like he was standing on dangerous ground staring into her eyes, which had darkened and were angry.
"Why? Why what, Chandler? Why'd I marry him? Why don't I leave?"
"Yes."
"I don't know. To either question, I don't know anymore." She sat down on the steps, in defeat. He sat next to her. They were silent for a while.
"Mon, you deserve more than him." She was quiet, and he saw her eyes fill with tears as she shook her head.
"He tries, Chandler. It's not always this bad. It's just been a hard few months, that's all. At work, and everything… I mean, marriages go through rough patches. People fight, and they… stray. And it doesn't make them bad, it makes them human," she said, trying so hard to convince herself she was right.
"I don't want to hear the excuses he gives you. I don't think you believe that either."
"I don't know what I believe." He laced his fingers gently through hers.
"He's no good for you Monica." She looked up at him tearfully and squeezed his hand.
"Yeah, well… neither were you."
They looked at each other sadly, each understanding she was right, each wishing she wasn't.
"I wish things had gone differently. I'm sorry," he finally said.
"Don't be sorry. Not anymore. It's over, its so far behind us," she said softly.
No one spoke for a while. She was so cold, she barely felt it when his hand that wasn't holding hers rested on her upper thigh. She turned her head towards him; their faces were inches. It had been years since they'd been this close, she thought, as he leaned in further, letting no confusion come of his intentions.
"Chandler…" she said, trying to form the words to stop him.
"It was a long time ago," he said, echoing her words. "I'm good for you now."
She shook her head, every part of her screaming out for him to touch her, kiss her, make it go away. Time warp her back to when things were good, and they were happy.
"Just let me try…" he whispered, closing the space between them and kissing her with everything he had. And she let him.
So don't tell me why
he's never been good to you
don't tell me why
he's never been there for you
don't you know that why
is simply not good enough
so just let me try
and I will be good to you
just let me try
and I will be there for you
I'll show you why
you're so much more than good enough...
like it, want more, hate it, don't want me to write anything ever again… whichever, leave a review and let me know!
Peace out.
