A/N : Thank you for reviewing!!!! To JadesRose (You still like it? Actually I'll be so happy to be done with this fic. It's straining my muse. ;), Pato San (Hey you were beaten this week. JadesRose was quicker. Yuki isn't planning at all. Rather being dragged off by Mizuki-chan.), Devona (Thank you!!!), Zacarane (Is ja witzig. Na, dann sag ich auch "Danke schön" auf Deutsch.), driven to insanity (OMG, don't tell me stuff like that. It makes me all squeasy in my stomach.), Showndra Ridge (Okay, will do that.), Joan Mistress of Magic (Hehehehe. Gotcha. I scared you.), miki (Okay. Thx.), kumagorou (Yeah, Yuki is just being stupid again.), Lara (Actually I'm in Nice, France. I'll go back to Germany in summer.), panatlantic (Really?! @.@), mirai aria (Yup, Mizuki is very tough.), Akiyama Sagara (I thought in Louisana the weather was supposed to be good. I can't wait for Mardi Gras. We're having huge fire works here. Parades are here each other day.), Vera-Sama (Don't feel bad. They'll almost through with all this bad Karma.), Kaorou (Well, it's almost over now.), Inari K (Actually you're the only one who caught on to the lighter. The chapter isn't very detailed. But if you read inbetween the lines you'll get it. I'll explain it in the next chapter.), Yuki Kurai (Do that. I'm off too!)
Chapter 19 : Just being stupid
Annoyed Yuki turned the picture of him and Shuichi face down. It had been bothering him for about half an hour now. Seeing Shuichi's wide innocent smile left him feeling rather guilty for whatever what reason he couldn't fathom though. After all the singer had walked on him and not the other way round. So just why was he sitting here turning the same thoughts over and over in his brain when he always came up with the same answer at the end. He had played high and lost it all. Or namely one thing or better person. Shindou Shuichi. It didn't make any sense at all to dwell on it. It wasn't his style either to get himself stuck on lost causes. Yuki Eiri moved on. Usually but not today. Shuichi had been the only constant thing in his life. He depended on him and Yuki really didn't want to know how he would get over the days from now on. The days after Shuichi's accident had been difficult enough but at least he was able to see him.
Yuki sighed and took a look at his watch. 'His concert already started.' He noticed with a feeling of regret. The blonde had promised to be there and even if he didn't exactly liked the music he loved to see Shuichi in his element, the sound of his voice and the way his body moved with the music. To know that everybody wanted the young man on stage but couldn't since Shuichi was only his. 'Well, that's definitely past now.'
Yuki stood up and put on his jacket. 'I'm just going to see him for one last time before I have to leave. One last time.' He sighed grabbed his suitcase and left the appartment. The drive to the concert hall was quiet. Too quiet. Finally Yuki switched on the radio searching for the channel who transmitted the concert life. When he found it a sad smile crept on his lips. The lyrics were all too familiar.
"…Without saying a word, time flows on; the sky is extinguished by the light of the morning that's coming soon, like it melts away. On that last night, no matter where it is, only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now.
I'll keep waiting for you, no matter how far apart we are -- it's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like the sound of footsteps. Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone. From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?"
The last words faded and applause and screaming errupted from the speakers so Yuki turned the radio off. He was there anyway and the music was loud enough to be heard outside on the parking place. He got out, locked the car and got into the hall. The air was stuffy and Yuki had for a moment the feeling to suffocate in the midst of people but he squashed down the feeling. After all the blonde had come to see him and it wouldn't do before he hadn't said his proper goodbyes even if Shu would never hear him among the masses.
The next song began but Yuki didn't pay attention. His eyes were transfixed on the slender person on stage who moved with a grace his lover only seemed to have on stage. He had to smile. Surely he would miss him. But it wasn't as he had much of a choice under the current circumstances. And it wouldn't be forever. Yuki had tried to work it out in the short time he had and it didn't work. Maybe it was better this way. Shu definitely needed some time to think. Actually Yuki was wondering how Shuichi could pull of this show –smiling, singing and dancing- like yesterday never happened. Yuki shook his head. He shouldn't wonder. Shuichi was a pro after all. Just now his lover was looking in his direction. At least it seemed to Yuki that way. Shu's eyes seemed to linger on him a moment longer than necessary. But that was nonsense. Just wishful imagination. Impossible to simply spot him in those masses in a barely lit up hall by spotlights. Yuki snorted. He was so pathetic when it came to Shuichi.
The blonde took a look at his watch and realized it was time to go. A last look at the pink haired whirlwind on stage, a murmured goodbye and the blonde haired man was gone.
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"Shuichi?" Hiroshi yelled after his quickly vanishing friend. The official show was over but they still had to play two or three pieces before the masses would be satisfied and finally let them go. So it wasn't a good sign at all when his younger friend sprinted of stage like the devil was on his heels. 'Better not leaving him out of sight.' Hiroshi thought. "Can't you wait up? Where are you going anyway?" He yelled slightly annoyed. A concert was exhausting after all. Sometimes he was wondering where Shuichi took all this extra energy from. Huffing he rounded a corner and almost crashed into K.
"Hey, have you seen Shuichi?"
The tall American nodded. "Yeah, he went to find Tohma. What's the hurry?"
But Hiro ignored him and ran to the back stage quarters. When he entered Shuichi was already all over a very surprised looking Tohma. Currently the blonde was saying. "Was he then here? I didn't see him."
Shuichi threw his arms up frustrated. "Yes, he was. At the emergency exit to the left side."
Tohma let out a small 'oh' and glanced over at Hiro looking for help.
"Well, you did invite him after all. So why so surprised?"
Shuichi looked stricken for a moment. "I just didn't think he would want to come after all." He twiddled his fingers nervously.
Tohma frowned. Obviously he had missed something. "Did something happened yesterday?"
Shuichi looked uneasy and finally admitted. "I had something like a memory flash and it wasn't a very happy one." He left out the encounter with Aizawa in the park not wanting to go over this again. "Yuki took me to his appartment and explained what had happened back then. I didn't really think straight yesterday evening. And then…" Shuichi sighed. "I stormed out of there not even considering what Yuki might make of it."
"And now you think he took it the wrong way." Hiro stated.
Shuichi nodded. "I don't really think he wanted to talk about these things which I understand now. I guess it's his right to be upset. I mean there he gets himself to talk about his guilty conscience and I ruin it."
Tohma looked startled. "How do you know…?" He trailed off staring at Shuichi more than simply surprised. He had a feeling to what incident Shuichi was refering to. But how would Shuichi know so exactly just what Yuki thought about his role in it? And then it clicked in the blonde man's brain and everything made sense. Hiro seemed to have come to the same conclusion. "You remember again? When did that happen?"
Shuichi gave them a loopsided smile. "Well, it was more like in accident. One of those insignifant things suddenly sparks something in your brain and a whole avalanche of memories comes crashing down on you."
"So that's why you ran off I take it. The current surroundings didn't exactly calm you." Tohma figured.
"Yeah. I though my brain turned into slush. Though now I wish I would have offered Yuki something like an explanation. I've been wrapping my brain around this for the whole day already." Shuichi groaned and slumped into a chair. "Maybe I should just give him some time to cool off in case he's really mad at me. Though I don't think it's that bad. At least he came to the concert."
"Hm, I think actually there might be a small problem." Tohma said looking concerned.
"And that would be?" Shuichi asked curiously.
Tohma looked uncomfortable. "Yuki and Mizuki are taking a flight in about half an hour to NYC. It's about a US contract deal with a new publisher. I don't know when they'll be back."
Shuichi's eyes had gotten big while hearing this. "What?" He choked out. "He's leaving without saying a word about it to me? Without a good bye?" Shuichi stood up looking furious and stricken at the same time.
"Actually I think if he was here that means he said goodbye to you."
Shuichi pulled his hair in frustration. "God, Yuki Eiri. You're such an idiot."
Hiro simply rolled his eyes. "I think you're both idiots."
Shuichi shot him a glare. "I'm leaving."
That brought everybody on attention. "What?" Bellowed K who had just entered the room. "Nobody is leaving here before the concert is over. By the way it's time to go back on stage."
Tohma sighed. "It's okay, K. I'll go with Shuichi. I'm sure you'll figure something out." He turned to go but then remembered something. "Oh, and please break the news to Sakano carefully." Then he let himself drag off by Shuichi who couldn't get out of the building fast enough.
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I know not everything is explained yet. But just what triggered Shu's memory will be explained in the next chapter in case you didn't get it. I'm looking forward to the end. This is so stressful. Bisous, Karen
p.s. Sorry about the format. No idea, what kind of problem ff.net has now.
