Draco Malfoy

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"I know you got a little life in you yet

I know you got a lot of strength yet

I should be crying but I just can't let it show

I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things we should have said that we never said

And all the things we should have done that we never did

All the things we should have given but I didn't

Oh don't let

Make it go.

Make it go away now.

Give me these moments

Give them back to me.

Give me that little kiss

Give me your hand.

Should be crying but I just can't let it go

Should be hoping but I can't stop

Thinking

Of all the things we should have said that we never said

All the things that we should have done that we never did

All the things that you wanted from me

All the things that you needed from me

All the things I should have given but I didn't

Oh  don't let…

Make it go.

Just make it go away now."

'This Woman's Work' Maxwell (Original by Kate Bush)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 Draco's dreadful day started the same as any other. He awoke to a slow start that morning, his mind still lingering of the verdict of his father's trial. The harsh reality that his father will be in Azkaban for the rest of his natural  life was just beginning to sink in. Draco, feeling  extremely agitated,  took a hefty sip of his bitter Draught of Peace, before getting up to dress.

Draco  took a brief shower then brushed his teeth. He did not  bother  to comb his hair into the style that Eva had badgered him into wearing everyday. He slowly made his way  out to the Common Room. Most of  the other Slytherins had already left for breakfast, however Blaise and Pansy  still remained on the couch silently.

"There you are." Pansy said standing up and walking towards him. She gave him a reassuring pat on the back, and Blaise got up and followed suit. Draco was too tired and too frustrated  to even respond.  The Draught of Peace still wasn't satisfactorily calming his extremely tense nerves. The trio slowly made their way to the Great Hall. As soon as they arrived there, Draco automatically sat away from the other Slytherins.  Draco noticed Pansy follow him for a split second, until Blaise held her back. Draco looked away sadly, and poked and prodded at his food as he  listened to his own melancholy thoughts.

However cruel his father was, Draco couldn't refute the fact he loved him dearly. He respected his father and his opinion's deeply. Draco's greatest fear was to disappoint him. The sad thing is, Draco felt as if he disappointed Lucius everyday. Everything Draco did was never good enough. Draco was in a battle to live up to his father's extremely high standards.  His father even hinted towards Draco that he had promised the Dark Lord Draco's service as a Deatheater. Draco knew he did not want to become a Deatheater, but he never voiced his feelings out loud in fear of disappointing him. 

But now that his father was being sent to Azkaban for life, leaving Draco with more questions then he's ever had in his entire life. What did his mother's letter mean? Did  his father and  the others have plans of escaping? Will they be sending for him at Hogwarts before going away  into hiding?  Draco sighed as he continued to sulk until the end of Breakfast.

Draco walked by himself to the greenhouses for Double Herbology. Professor Sprout talked incessantly  throughout the double period, and Draco  continued to meander  into his  own short time trances.  No one seemed to notice Draco's odd behavior until he was on his way to Double Charms. He was headed up the main staircase when  he heard a familiar voice.

"Draco!" the  voice called. Draco groaned when he realized it was Eva. She ran to catch up with him, and forcefully grabbed his hand and led him into a dark secluded corner. Draco, being  several inches taller than Eva, looked down to make eye contact with her. He leaned lethargically on the wall; Draco suddenly remembered he had taken too much Draught of Peace, his eyes suddenly feeling very heavy.

"Why are you doing this?" Eva asked,  a piece of her dark hair falling into her face. Draco looked down at her sadly,  brushing  the strand out  of her face.

"Now isn't the best to talk about this." Draco replied sorrowfully, his hands still on both of her cheeks. Eva stared up at him, her eyes boring into his.

"If now's not the time. When? It's never the right time with you. You can't keep avoiding  me Draco." She said gently. Her eyes were beginning to mist. Draco looked up when a pack of first year  Ravenclaws shot them suspicious looks.  Draco shook his head and removed his hands from her face, even though he did not know why. Eva frowned at him.

"Look, it was  spur of the moment thing Eva. I have hormones, you were drunk. Just like I told you before, it's nothing." Draco said vacantly. Eva's face was still contorted in an abnormal scowl. She moved closer to him pinning him to the wall. Draco could feel himself hold his breath as she moved closer to him.  Eva waited a few seconds to speak, her forehead touching his.

"If it's nothing." She paused, placing her hand on his chest. "Then why is your heart beating so fast."  She said hoarsely. Draco could feel his eyes fall on her  succulent rosy red lips.

"If it's nothing,  why are you lying to me? Avoiding me?" she asked again; Draco was frozen to his spot. The heat from her breath was  mysteriously sending chills  of exhilaration down his spine.

"You knew what you were doing Draco." She whispered curtly.  Don't give in. Draco told himself firmly as he finally stepped  to the side and then back from her, and looked down at the stone  floor of the castle.

"We're going to be late for class." He mumbled. Eva stared at him in anger. She opened her mouth to speak  but Draco had already began to storm off. Eva didn't bother to catch up with him. Draco could feel his breathing become more heavier as the stress started mounting up on him. He was  a few classrooms away from  Professor Flitwick's class when Professor McGonagall  emerged from her office, and stepped in front of him.

"Draco… come with me. Professor Dumbledore wishes to speak with you. It's urgent." Professor McGonagall said softly, a horror-stricken  expression on her face.  Draco  quickly glanced at Eva who had been walking behind him. Draco grabbed her arm, at the same moment the bell rang.

"Wait… What's this about?"  Draco asked confused, Draco released Eva's arm, and grasped her hand tightly. Draco could feel Eva return the gesture, a small hint of forgiveness in her eyes.  Professor McGonagall  noticed this exchange and frowned.

"Miss Harrison… is it?" she asked, pulling up her small bifocals up  the bridge of her nose. Eva nodded.

"I think it would be best if you went  to your next class." Professor McGonagall said hurriedly. When Eva did not budge,  Professor McGonagall scowled. "Now, Miss Harrison." She commanded. Eva gave Draco's hand a final squeeze.

"Quickly Mr. Malfoy." Professor McGonagall commanded as soon as Eva rounded the corner. Draco started to contemplate why Dumbledore would be wanting to see him. "Did my  parents  send for me?" Draco thought to himself.  Draco however, did not say a world, as he followed Professor McGonagall through a maze of Hogwarts halls and corridors before they reached a plain statue. Professor muttered the password causing the statue to rotate until it revealed a small door. McGonagall stepped into it, and followed suit as the statue rotated all the way up until they were in Dumbledore's office.

The Headmaster's office was an extravagant  two story round room.  Portraits of former headmasters lined the walls. The Dumbledore sat quietly at his desk in the middle of the room. Beside him sat a strange  witch. Her robes were messy, and she had on a pair of crooked bifocals. She made a small gasping noise when Draco entered the room. Next to her stood Professor Snape, his face contorted into its usual frown, a  small piece of parchment  in his hand. Cornelius Fudge, the Minister  of Magic stood on the other side of  Dumbledore, his were hands folded in front of him, and his head down.

"Sit my boy." Dumbledore said softly. Draco slowly sat down before Dumbledore.  Professor McGonagall  stood behind him, her hand planted unto Draco's shoulder firmly. Draco felt his world slow down, What's going on? Draco thought. He  attempted to utter these words, but nothing came out. Draco was terrified. All of the older witches and wizards continued to stare at Draco. The funny looking witch was staring at Draco, tears welling up in a bright green eyes. 

"Draco… I don't know how exactly how to put this…" Dumbledore paused. Draco was clutching unto the arm rest of his chair, his knuckles white hot. The strange witch begin to sniffle, and moan.  Snape looked down remorsefully, handing Dumbledore the piece of parchment in his hand.

"Ministry officials uh- intercepted this earlier." Dumbledore said slowly handing the piece of parchment to Draco. Draco took it, his eyes scanning the letter. Draco could recognize ever word of his father's neat handwriting,

Draco,

My dear son. I assume that you have heard by now the outcome of the verdict. I shamefully regret that I cannot go back to Azkaban.

Draco, this was a last resort. I never knew that my connection s would fail and I would be put in this situation. This has nothing to do with you, and I am confident that you are in good hands.

You are old enough, and your mother and I have raised you sufficiently, and you are ready to face world on your own. Without your mother and I to protect you.

I truly am proud of you son, you have achieved more than I ever thought you were capable of. I pushed you so you would be better than me.  I pushed you so you would  not be dependent. I pushed you so you could be strong. I pushed you so you could be powerful.

You know what I expect from you. Don't expect to go astray now that your mother and I will be gone.  Your mother sends her love.

Love

Father

Draco's eyes begin to blur before he even reached the conclusion of the letter. He looked up at Dumbledore, shaking his head profusely.

"There not gone." Draco muttered. "There not gone." Draco repeated again. Dumbledore folded his hands and looked down sadly. Fudge finally stepped forward and spoke for the first time, his voice tremulous.

"Draco, your parents are gone son. Mass suicide." Fudge said gently. Draco shook his head.

"I'm not your son!" Draco snapped.

"Lucius Malfoy is my father. And he is not gone. He'd never." Draco paused, his lips were moving faster than his brain. "He would never leave me in the hands of you lot. Never!" Draco shrieked. He felt as if his world has suddenly began to cave in upon him. Leaving him alone in the ruins, suffocating, and alone.

"Draco, please let us explain the situation to you." Fudge continued to talk, Draco could hear the words coming out  if the old wizard, but still they did not feel real. Mum and Dad aren't dead. They couldn't have  left him alone. They cannot be gone. Draco's inner voices screamed, as the Peace Draught began to wear off. The voices inside of him blending together into a droning loud hum. Draco tried to get up but his body could not respond. Draco wanted to cry, but his eyes would not respond. Draco wished someone could slap him forcefully in the face and wake him up from his nightmare. Professor McGonagall  tightened her grip around Draco's shoulder supportively.

"Now now Draco. I know this is horrific news, but there are some things we need to ask you." The odd looking witch finally spoke up, her voice an abnormally high pitch.

"Who are you?" Draco managed to croak. He could feel his lungs start to heave, as his chest started to tighten. Draco clutched his chest, and looked away from them. The  volume of the voices mounting higher. He removed his hand from his chest and returned to the arm of the chair. Draco's grip tightened  firmly around the armchair as he felt the room start to grow smaller.

"I'm… I'm Belinda Castlerock from the Department  for the Welfare of Magical Children." The woman replied softly. 

"Draco are you alright?" Dumbledore asked intuitively.  Draco, let go of the chair and  clutched his chest again. Draco just wanted to wake up from his nasty dream. He stumbled to his feet.

"Alright? Am I alright?" Draco suddenly exploded.

"My  parents  are dead!" Draco shrieked. His  normally insipid face flashed  an intense shade of purple, as he struggled to breathe. Draco turned to look at Dumbledore,

"Albus Dumbledore did this to your family Draco! If it wasn't for him and the rest of the Wizengamot, your parents would still be alive." A voice from deep within his soul thundered. Draco's expression suddenly  changed into one of  complete rage.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Draco screamed. He lunged at Dumbledore; before he even stepped forward a few feet forward, he heard each of the wizards, including the siren-voiced-Belinda Castlerock, "Immobilus!"  Draco felt a cool feeling push him to the ground. Draco  began to twist and writhe on the floor shouting random obscenities in a fit of pure insanity.  Draco finally overcame the strong spell, crawling slowly to his  feet, his knees buckling.  He stood up, and made for the door.

            Professor McGonagall attempted to stop him but Dumbledore flashed her an irregular look. The adults watched the now orphaned Malfoy stumble incoherently out of the room. Draco, finally regaining his balance, began to run. He didn't care where he was going, or what was behind him, or where he was for that matter. He just let his feet carry him,  Draco finally slumped over in a ball in a deserted cavernous, dark and empty  classroom. His eyes still were not allowing him to let out the intense pain he was feeling. He just laid there, crawled up, cold and shivering, hoping , actually wishing that he could die too. But when he opened his eyes, he was still there in the classroom, however he was no longer alone.

"Hermione?"

Hermione Granger

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Is it me?

Is it you?

Nothing that

I can do

To make you

Change your mind

Why do you run?

Is it me?

Is it you?

Nothing that

I can do

Is it a waste of time?

Is it me?

Is it you?

Nothing that I can do

To make you change your mind

So why are you running away?

Why are you running away?

What does it have to take

To make you admit your afraid?"

'Running Away'  Hoobastank

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione ran as fast as her feet could carry her. She had an intense, strong feeling that she knew where Draco was. She knew that there would never be a moment like this again where he would need someone more. Hermione ran up the main staircase, almost knocking over a  pair of second year Ravenclaws on the way. She ran down the main corridor of the second floor before taking a few complex turns, and then climbing up a longer, much narrower stair case. Her heart beating rapidly in her chest,  Hermione could feel herself getting closer and closer to Draco.

Hermione counted the countless doors and statues; they were all identical. She finally reached the twelfth door on the left side next to a still-life of an apple and a pear. Hermione reached for the door, but groaned when it would not open. She reached into her robes and pulled out her wand muttering a small spell to open the door. The door gave way, and creakily opened. Hermione stepped into the room, her heart breaking when she saw Draco.

He was in the corner of the room. His face was red, his robes wet from a  puddle on the floor. His eyes met hers, Hermione had never seen Draco like this. In his eyes she felt she only saw a small frightened child.

"Hermione?" he asked, his voice hoarse. Hermione held her tears at bay as she fell to Draco's side. He stared at her a split second before he stood up. Hermione felt her heartbreak when she looked into those eyes, yet again.

"How'd you find me?" he asked delicately. He walked over to the window, staring off into the starry nights, a look of grief etched across his face.

"I.." Hermione's voice trailed off. She wasn't exactly sure how she found him. Draco and herself often used the classroom to meet during lunch and after hours during fifth year.

"I'm sure the whole school knows by now." Draco said sorrowfully. He pulled a small piece of parchment out of the pockets of his robes. He still would not look at her. Hermione slowly rose to her feet and walked behind him. She wanted to hold him desperately, but she was too terrified to touch him. She lifted her tremulous hands, and placed them on Draco's shoulder. Draco jumped away from her as if her touch was toxic.

"Don't do this to me." Hermione pleaded. Draco stepped back further, shaking his head profusely. Hermione walked away from the window, which was emitting an eerie stellar glow.

"I'm tired Hermione." Draco said suddenly. He was still clutching the piece of parchment. Hermione did not speak. Draco walked towards her, and stopped at the window. He continued to gaze out before speaking again.

"I tired of everything 'Mione." Draco said sullenly.  Hermione felt  tears began to roll down her cheeks. The sound of her tears hitting the stone floor echoed  off the walls of gloomy cavernous room.

"I'm tired of trying to be someone who I'm not." Draco continued, the pitch of his voice still the same. Hermione tried to bit her lip, she was trying to keep the tears from flowing openly from her soft brown eyes, but they kept coming.

"I just can't do it!" Draco  suddenly shouted, the sudden  outburst caused Hermione to jump back.  For the first time in her life, she was speechless. She wished she could help him. With the wave of  her wand, bring his parents back, make him feel love, erase all his painful memories. Let him live a real life. But that was just a fantasy. There was no such magic spell or potion to help him.

Draco turned to look into Hermione's eyes. He grabbed her arms abruptly, clutching her robes.  "I love you." He shouted, his voice cracking.  "You Hermione." He finished. Hermione stared at him, her mind blank. She stared at him, as he exploded into body wracking sobs. She had never seen anyone explode in such a way before. Draco clutched unto her for dear life as he fell in an uncontrollable fit of body-racking sobs unto the floor. Hermione fell to her knees, quickly wrapped her arms tenderly around him.  She rubbed his head softly, whispering to him in a maternal way. Hermione wasn't sure how long she was with Draco in that room, comforting him, consoling him,  letting him know that he wasn't alone in this world.

"Not anymore." Hermione whispered to him softly. "Not anymore." She repeated, that time more to herself then to Draco.


Hermione barely woke up early enough the next morning to make it to her first class on time. She had not returned to the Gryffindor Tower the previous night until  one in the morning.  It took her an hour alone to coax  an exhausted and grief-stricken Draco down to the Infirmary, then it took her another fifteen minutes before Draco would let go of her. 

Over the next weeks, Harry would flash Hermione knowing looks during all their classes, and over breakfast, when everybody inquired about Draco Malfoy's whereabouts. Hermione had suddenly become very protective over Draco during his absence. People were relentlessly  gossiping about the mental stability of  all the Malfoys, Draco in particular. Hermione even went off on a few unlucky students who dared to utter one rumor about him in her immediate vicinity. 

Hermione would constantly plead with  Madam Pomfrey to let her in the school infirmary to see Draco,  but Madam Pomfrey would refuse, always making up a different excuse each occasion. So when Draco showed up to classes on a dreary fall day, Hermione was more than surprised.

She was early, as usual to potions. She discussing  her new plans for S.P.E.W with Harry when she looked up and saw Draco enter the room. The entire N.E.W.T level potions class suddenly became dead silent.  Draco's hair was cut, and his eyes looked glazed over, he slowly walked to his front table seat and sat down; avoiding major eye contact with anyone. Hermione watched Sam smile at him and pat him on his shoulder.  Hermione felt herself staring at him throughout the entire class period. Suddenly feeling awkward in his presence. What would I say to him anyway?  Hermione asked herself several times during the period.

When the class concluded, Hermione slowly grabbed her books. I'm going to do it. I'm going to say hello. Nothing more, nothing less.  Hermione stood up, her cauldron and books in hand as she walked heavy-footed towards Draco, who was still in his seat. She locked eyes with him, and  spoke.

"Hello Draco." Hermione said, her voice abnormally cheerful. Hermione expected him to smile back and respond, but much to her disappointment, he stared at her vacantly, as if he didn't know her at all. He stood up and exited the  room, leaving a stunned Hermione. Sam, who had witnessed this, quickly walked to Hermione and placed a sympathetic arm around her.

"He's kind of out of it today. The Healer from St. Mungos put him on some powerful potions. More powerful then those Muggle drugs." Sam said reassuringly. Hermione nodded, until she heard his last comment.

"Wait! What? Who told you this?" Hermione snapped.  Even Sam's starting to believe these absurd rumors about Draco too?  He removed his arm from around Hermione as he grabbed his cauldron and headed for the door. Hermione followed him hesitantly. Sam walked down the hallway, before finally stopping to turn around and look around to see if anyone could overhear.      

"Snape told us." Sam whispered until he was cut off by a loud snort from Hermione. How could I forget? Snape favors all his Slytherin students.  Hermione thought to herself.

"You Slytherins." Hermione said vacantly. Sam flashed her an odd look before continuing.

"Yes… but anyway. Snape told us, that Madam Pomfrey, and Healer, Barnes…" Sam paused in thought. "No Beatle.. Something like that. He told us that they have him brewing powerful potions for Draco on a daily basis. He even said that Dumbledore used his connections to find someone who could stay with Draco all the time. So he wouldn't try anything." Sam said in a hushed whisper. Hermione snorted again.

"His parents just killed themselves. You don't need to inject happiness in him. He's sad!" Hermione  exclaimed.

"Would you be quiet!" Sam snapped, placing his hand  over her mouth. He looked around to see if anyone had overheard.

"Snape told us that they think there's something… off with Draco." Sam said hastily.

"Off?" Hermione asked in mild confusion. "There's nothing wrong with Draco Malfoy." Hermione snapped again, keeping her voice low.

"By off. I mean off his rocker. He's been telling Madam Pomfrey about how he's heard voices. In his own head, for years now. As in voices… I mean plural." Sam stated. Hermione stared off into the distance in mild  fascination. Draco had never told her of this before.

"That's nonsense." Hermione snapped. Sam smirked at her.

"Fine. Don't believe me. Draco Malfoy is a basket case." Sam snapped haughtily, folding his arms.

"You act so childish at times." Hermione snapped again. Sam stared at her, he opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione cut him off.

"There is nothing wrong with Draco Malfoy. He's in grief. He is not a loony  nor is he a basket case." Hermione barked, her tone suddenly rising.  Hermione scowled at him one finally time before storming off in a fit of anger. She could hear Sam laugh, and call after her. He may find  this funny, but Hermione knew she definitely didn't.