Chapter 10

Buffy and Harry returned to the common room, to the questioning glances of Ron and Hermione, which they fobbed off with reassuring grins. Buffy left the others, after saying goodnight, and went up to her dormitory to go to bed. She was confused about her feelings, towards Harry, and towards her Sunnydale friends. She had been attracted to Harry for an instant, and that instant filled her with guilt and remorse. She wasn't interested in a relationship with him, she knew that, but she felt like she shouldn't even be looking at other guys, now Angel was gone.

As for her friends, well Buffy knew she wanted to see them now, even if that meant going to Sunnydale. Her mind whirling with thoughts and feelings, it was a long time before sleep took her.

The next morning, after breakfast, Buffy skipped charms, with Professor Flitwick's consent, and took two big steps, the first of which was writing to her mother. She sat down at the desk she had sat at before and thought before putting quill to parchment. Then she wrote:

Dear Mom,

It's me Buffy. Guess you must've guessed that, due to the big bird delivering your letter. I wanted to write and let you know I'm doing okay. I'm in England, at a school, a school for magic actually. It's pretty fun here, and the headmaster is better than Snyder. I've made some friends too.
I don't really know what to say. I know I left at a bad time, the worst possible time, but I had to go. You don't understand now, but I hope you will soon, this isn't something I chose to do, but it chose me. Being the slayer is about doing what is right, whatever the consequences may be for me. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I left like that but I had to, for a lot of reasons I can't explain. Mostly I just want to say that I miss you, I think about you, and I hope we can come to a place where you can accept me.

Love, Buffy xx

Buffy folded the letter carefully and as an afterthought added a P.S:

P.S If you want to know about what I do as a slayer, ask Giles.

Then Buffy left the common room, to go to Dumbledore's Office, where she would take her second big step.

"Of course Fawkes will take this to your mother," Dumbledore said jovially. He tied the letter to the phoenix's leg. The phoenix let out one clear note of song, then disappeared.

Dumbledore looked up at Buffy, who stood twisting her fingers.
 "Miss Summers, was there something else you wanted to ask?" Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. Buffy nodded sheepishly.

 "I was thinking," She began, "I mean if it's okay with you and everything…and if my mom replies and stuff….well that maybe I could go to Sunnydale for a visit?" The words spilled out of Buffy's mouth, and then she fell silent.

 "Certainly," Dumbledore said immediately. "I had expected as much. Of course you want to see your friends. I will accompany you myself. I would quite like to see Rupert." Buffy smiled gratefully.

 "I only want to go for a visit," she explained. "I'm doing well here, there's too much for me in Sunnydale to cling to. Plus I really want to help you out with the Voldemort thing, since you've helped me so much. But I have to see my friends; I have to get some kind of closure."

"Indeed," said Dumbledore thoughtfully. "We can go as soon as you like."

"I think I want to wait to hear from my mom," Buffy said thoughtfully. "But don't we have to book flights or something?"

"I think a portkey should suffice," Dumbledore replied. "It's a kind of…. teleporter, I think muggles call it."
 "Nifty," Buffy said happily. She turned to leave.
 "Buffy," Dumbledore called, and she turned back. "Don't feel obliged to stay here. If on returning to Sunnydale, you want to remain there, don't fell you have some debt to pay. That said, there will always be a place for you at Hogwarts as long as you desire it." Buffy nodded graciously and left the office.

Walking down the hall, she grinned happily; surprising herself by how happy she was to be going to see her friends and mom. She was so caught up in her own thoughts, she nearly ran into three students coming the opposite way.
 "Watch where you're going, mudblood." Draco Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, snarled as he nearly tripped moving out of Buffy's way.

 "Huh what was that?" Buffy said vaguely, caught up in thinking about taking back presents for the scoobies. Draco Malfoy pulled out his wand, which brought her back down to earth.
 "Bet a little American Mudblood like you hasn't got a clue how to block a curse," he sneered at her, raising his wand. Buffy did not hear his words as she leapt into a roll, dodging the curse.
 "I told you not to mess with me," Buffy murmured. She stepped forward and pushed Draco against the wall, causing him to drop his wand in the process. He struggled but she held him by the throat, not choking him, but making breathing a little difficult and keeping him where she held him.
 "You know nothing about me," Buffy breathed. "So you better watch your back." She let go on him, threw contemptuous looks at Crabbe and Goyle who had stood there gormlessly the entire time, and then carried on walking down the corridor, humming a little tune as she went.

"What's got you so happy?" Hermione asked Buffy, as she showed up in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Buffy smiled to herself.
 "Oh, nothing really, had a little run in with Malfoy," Buffy said breezily. Ron's head snapped up.
 "What happened?" he asked quickly. Buffy kept smiling.
 "He called me a 'mudblood' again," she said casually. "And he tried to curse me. So I taught him a lesson." Ron grinned, even wider than Buffy.
 "Shame I missed it," he said happily. Buffy laughed.
 "Plus I'm going home for a visit," she added. Hermione hugged her delightedly.
 "That's great!" she said warmly, and Harry grinned at her too.

 "Dumbledore's going to take me," Buffy said, "Soon, I don't know when, whenever I hear from my mom." Professor Lupin entered the classroom, and they took their seats. Buffy was sat next to Harry. She leant over.
 "Harry," she whispered, and he looked up. "Would you come with me to Sunnydale?" she asked nervously. "Dumbledore is coming with me, but I need some moral support I think. Do you think you could?" Harry smiled at her and patted her arm.
 "Of course," he said. "If you want me to. You'll have to ask Dumbledore, but you are supposed to be sticking with me at all times." Buffy smiled gratefully.

Later that evening, Buffy asked Dumbledore about Harry accompanying them and he gave his consent, on the condition that they went over a weekend, so that he wouldn't miss any lessons. Then Buffy spent the evening with Harry, Ron and Hermione in her training room, which had become like their own private common room, telling them about her friends.