Chapter Four
Jess wasn't quite sure when he had decided that he was in love with Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. He was certain of the fact the actual falling in love had been a process, a series of moments securely locked away in memory. He had probably been under the realization of it before he had left for California, but the thought had been one of those subconscious, underlying ones. Slippery fuckers. Pushed away and buried under persona and image in his brain...Freud was suddenly starting to make a lot of sense. The idea of loving anyone, of being in love with them and growing attached and possibly dependent and of missing them and needing them scared Jess to death. It scared him right now, in his car, whilst he pined for aforementioned Rory Gilmore.
He knew, and had actually, (when fully awake AND in broad daylight admitted to himself) that he had been , and possibly still was, in love only a few weeks before is impromptu return to Stars Hollow.
But it hadn't yet become a part of him. It was only a fleeting thought, one that he reserved for keeping him awake late at night. He had only recently allowed himself the privilege of performing the proper procedures of unrequited or lost love, whatever it was he had. Ever since he had told her, actually. Since had had said it out loud to another person, in fact, to her. Making it something concrete, a documented event with a witness that would most likely uphold in a court of law as an alibi for that moment, not that Rory would ever testify on his behalf.
It was then the full realization of all his emotions had hit him. It was then he was confused, disoriented and completely awestruck by this horrible affliction called love. It was then he left for the third time, needing of a moment to collect his thoughts. It was now he wanted to fix things.
Jess switched his right turn light on and took an exit way to some little, backwater town. Determined to pull into the first post office and mail this letter before instincts and genetics got the best of him.
Jess wasn't quite sure when he had decided that he was in love with Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. He was certain of the fact the actual falling in love had been a process, a series of moments securely locked away in memory. He had probably been under the realization of it before he had left for California, but the thought had been one of those subconscious, underlying ones. Slippery fuckers. Pushed away and buried under persona and image in his brain...Freud was suddenly starting to make a lot of sense. The idea of loving anyone, of being in love with them and growing attached and possibly dependent and of missing them and needing them scared Jess to death. It scared him right now, in his car, whilst he pined for aforementioned Rory Gilmore.
He knew, and had actually, (when fully awake AND in broad daylight admitted to himself) that he had been , and possibly still was, in love only a few weeks before is impromptu return to Stars Hollow.
But it hadn't yet become a part of him. It was only a fleeting thought, one that he reserved for keeping him awake late at night. He had only recently allowed himself the privilege of performing the proper procedures of unrequited or lost love, whatever it was he had. Ever since he had told her, actually. Since had had said it out loud to another person, in fact, to her. Making it something concrete, a documented event with a witness that would most likely uphold in a court of law as an alibi for that moment, not that Rory would ever testify on his behalf.
It was then the full realization of all his emotions had hit him. It was then he was confused, disoriented and completely awestruck by this horrible affliction called love. It was then he left for the third time, needing of a moment to collect his thoughts. It was now he wanted to fix things.
Jess switched his right turn light on and took an exit way to some little, backwater town. Determined to pull into the first post office and mail this letter before instincts and genetics got the best of him.
