Disclaimer: We still don't own a damn thing.
~AN/ Well, well, well. Looks like we're finally going to finish this story. Don't wet yourself with excitement.
CH. 13 End of this Crappy Story: part 1
It was the last week of term. Harry, as expected, failed all of his exams, especially DADA and potions. Percy was nearly insane with frustration. He was tired of coming up with these wonderful plans, just to have them blow up in his face; well, someone else's face usually. And what's worse, he was beginning to have nightmares about his victims coming back to haunt him. Why just the other day, he dreamed that he saw Ron looking at him from his mirror. Funny thing is, he didn't think he was asleep at the time. As he was heading down the stairs towards breakfast he felt some force pushing him down the stairs.
"Oh my God, Percy! Don't worry, I'll save you!" Harry yelled from below. He grabbed hold of the closest thing he could find, which happened to be Hannah Abbot, and threw her at the bottom of the stairs just as Percy was landing. Fortunately, she broke Percy's fall. Hannah, on the other hand, didn't quite make it.
"Hey Percy, isn't that weird? Ginny once fell down the stairs too. You're lucky I was here to save you." Harry boasted while clapping Percy on the back.
"Get off of me, Potter. I could have survived." Percy snapped stalking off.
"Now, now, Percy, don't get all worked up about it. Not everyone can be a hero like me. Well, this business of saving the day has made me late for Quidditch. Bye buddy." And with that Harry left Percy to ponder how he fell down the stairs.
"It has to all be a coincidence. It's probably Snape playing tricks on me. He's just trying to get me killed so he can be the DADA professor. Well, now that that's settled, I will head off to breakfast."
~An Hour Later~
As Percy is heading back from breakfast, he notices a chocolate chip cookie sitting on the ledge of an open window.
"Some foolish first year probably left this lying around. I'm gonna have to confiscate this cookie, and run a taste test on it. Mmm. Chocolate chip. It's just as good as that one I stole from Longbottom on the train. Heh, that loser, - ouch!!!" Percy screamed as he was being given the wedgie of a lifetime. Suddenly he was flying towards the window.
"No! I can't die yet, I haven't killed Potter!" Percy cried as he began the long decent to the ground. (Wow, that was a pretty good sentence. Our English teacher would be proud.)
Right as Percy was about to hit the ground, he landed on a broomstick.
"Gosh Percy, you're sure lucky I was here. As usual, that was some quick thinking on my part, taking the broom from Dean Thomas. Bad luck for him though. Did you hear that thud? It was hard enough as it is Dean to replace Ron, now we need another keeper. At least the season's over. See ya, Percy." Harry waved and flew off. (we can't account for why the team is practicing when the season's over, but then again Harry is the captain, and you know how he never misses a chance to show off.)
"I can't believe Snape would go this far all because of a job."
Percy stayed that way all morning, floating on the broom and brooding about Snape. He didn't even go to the DADA classes, which allowed the kids to run wild.
He was torn from his thoughts by the sound of the lunch bell (do they even have a lunch bell?).
He headed back toward the building and took his seat at the teachers' table. As Percy was sitting he turned to glare at Snape and didn't notice his bubbling cup. Still glaring at Snape, he reached for the cup and was just about to take a sip when -
"Percy, no!" Harry knocked the cup away from Percy and it flew into the face of Padma Patil, who inadvertently swallowed some and instantly died.
"Lucky for you my hero senses were tingling and alerted me to your danger. I - oh no!" Behind Percy's head was a floating knife about to stab him. Harry grabbed a plate, threw it at the knife, which ricocheted off the wall and went flying into Mrs. Norris. (bet you didn't see that one coming.)
"Mrs. Norris! My precious cat! I'm gonna get you for this Potter!" Filch screamed. (Guess that means Mrs. Norris is the equivalent to Dennis Creevey.)
As Filch went off to plot Potter's death (everyone seems to be doing that lately), Percy decided to go back to his new home, Hagrid's hut. It wasn't much, but it was a lot better than that broom closet they originally had him in.
"Hey Percy! I've brought you some company. I was thinking, and it seems to me you could use a woman. So I've brought you my pen pal, Herm-ernie. I'll let you have her. I've even told your parents." Harry said patting Herm- ernie on her rather thick shoulder.
"Gosh, they were excited. Let's go in and have some tea."
~Then Suddenly~
Having not been fed for a year, the Grint beside Fagrid's, I mean Hagrid's, cabin was released by a seemingly invisible force. The very ugly and very thin Grint burst out, sniffed the air for his prey, and with a great howl that shook the earth, he took off after Percy, who was closest. Harry's Quidditch muscles kicked in, and thinking fast, picked up Herm-ernie, who happened to be the closest thing, and hurled her in the Grint's path. The Grint stopped in his tracks, sniffed the air once more, and scooped up Herm- ernie in its mouth, and wagging his tail, took off for the Forbidden Forest. Just as she was about to disappear forever, her wig fell off, revealing Herm-ernie to be none other than Ernie Macmillan.(shocking!!!)
"Harry, help me!!!" Ernie screamed from within the forest.
"Why was Ernie dressed up like his sister Herm-ernie? Did - did Ernie want to marry Percy? But wait, earlier, when I was in the closet with Herm- ernie, was - was that really Ernie?" And Harry is left to ponder over these disturbing thoughts.
~AN/ End Ch. 13 End of this Crappy Story: part 1. We decided this was far too long to put into one chapter so it'll be three parts at least. Besides, you would have been waiting at least another five months, and we know that'd just kill all of you devoted fans, well, both of you that is. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!
~AN/ Well, well, well. Looks like we're finally going to finish this story. Don't wet yourself with excitement.
CH. 13 End of this Crappy Story: part 1
It was the last week of term. Harry, as expected, failed all of his exams, especially DADA and potions. Percy was nearly insane with frustration. He was tired of coming up with these wonderful plans, just to have them blow up in his face; well, someone else's face usually. And what's worse, he was beginning to have nightmares about his victims coming back to haunt him. Why just the other day, he dreamed that he saw Ron looking at him from his mirror. Funny thing is, he didn't think he was asleep at the time. As he was heading down the stairs towards breakfast he felt some force pushing him down the stairs.
"Oh my God, Percy! Don't worry, I'll save you!" Harry yelled from below. He grabbed hold of the closest thing he could find, which happened to be Hannah Abbot, and threw her at the bottom of the stairs just as Percy was landing. Fortunately, she broke Percy's fall. Hannah, on the other hand, didn't quite make it.
"Hey Percy, isn't that weird? Ginny once fell down the stairs too. You're lucky I was here to save you." Harry boasted while clapping Percy on the back.
"Get off of me, Potter. I could have survived." Percy snapped stalking off.
"Now, now, Percy, don't get all worked up about it. Not everyone can be a hero like me. Well, this business of saving the day has made me late for Quidditch. Bye buddy." And with that Harry left Percy to ponder how he fell down the stairs.
"It has to all be a coincidence. It's probably Snape playing tricks on me. He's just trying to get me killed so he can be the DADA professor. Well, now that that's settled, I will head off to breakfast."
~An Hour Later~
As Percy is heading back from breakfast, he notices a chocolate chip cookie sitting on the ledge of an open window.
"Some foolish first year probably left this lying around. I'm gonna have to confiscate this cookie, and run a taste test on it. Mmm. Chocolate chip. It's just as good as that one I stole from Longbottom on the train. Heh, that loser, - ouch!!!" Percy screamed as he was being given the wedgie of a lifetime. Suddenly he was flying towards the window.
"No! I can't die yet, I haven't killed Potter!" Percy cried as he began the long decent to the ground. (Wow, that was a pretty good sentence. Our English teacher would be proud.)
Right as Percy was about to hit the ground, he landed on a broomstick.
"Gosh Percy, you're sure lucky I was here. As usual, that was some quick thinking on my part, taking the broom from Dean Thomas. Bad luck for him though. Did you hear that thud? It was hard enough as it is Dean to replace Ron, now we need another keeper. At least the season's over. See ya, Percy." Harry waved and flew off. (we can't account for why the team is practicing when the season's over, but then again Harry is the captain, and you know how he never misses a chance to show off.)
"I can't believe Snape would go this far all because of a job."
Percy stayed that way all morning, floating on the broom and brooding about Snape. He didn't even go to the DADA classes, which allowed the kids to run wild.
He was torn from his thoughts by the sound of the lunch bell (do they even have a lunch bell?).
He headed back toward the building and took his seat at the teachers' table. As Percy was sitting he turned to glare at Snape and didn't notice his bubbling cup. Still glaring at Snape, he reached for the cup and was just about to take a sip when -
"Percy, no!" Harry knocked the cup away from Percy and it flew into the face of Padma Patil, who inadvertently swallowed some and instantly died.
"Lucky for you my hero senses were tingling and alerted me to your danger. I - oh no!" Behind Percy's head was a floating knife about to stab him. Harry grabbed a plate, threw it at the knife, which ricocheted off the wall and went flying into Mrs. Norris. (bet you didn't see that one coming.)
"Mrs. Norris! My precious cat! I'm gonna get you for this Potter!" Filch screamed. (Guess that means Mrs. Norris is the equivalent to Dennis Creevey.)
As Filch went off to plot Potter's death (everyone seems to be doing that lately), Percy decided to go back to his new home, Hagrid's hut. It wasn't much, but it was a lot better than that broom closet they originally had him in.
"Hey Percy! I've brought you some company. I was thinking, and it seems to me you could use a woman. So I've brought you my pen pal, Herm-ernie. I'll let you have her. I've even told your parents." Harry said patting Herm- ernie on her rather thick shoulder.
"Gosh, they were excited. Let's go in and have some tea."
~Then Suddenly~
Having not been fed for a year, the Grint beside Fagrid's, I mean Hagrid's, cabin was released by a seemingly invisible force. The very ugly and very thin Grint burst out, sniffed the air for his prey, and with a great howl that shook the earth, he took off after Percy, who was closest. Harry's Quidditch muscles kicked in, and thinking fast, picked up Herm-ernie, who happened to be the closest thing, and hurled her in the Grint's path. The Grint stopped in his tracks, sniffed the air once more, and scooped up Herm- ernie in its mouth, and wagging his tail, took off for the Forbidden Forest. Just as she was about to disappear forever, her wig fell off, revealing Herm-ernie to be none other than Ernie Macmillan.(shocking!!!)
"Harry, help me!!!" Ernie screamed from within the forest.
"Why was Ernie dressed up like his sister Herm-ernie? Did - did Ernie want to marry Percy? But wait, earlier, when I was in the closet with Herm- ernie, was - was that really Ernie?" And Harry is left to ponder over these disturbing thoughts.
~AN/ End Ch. 13 End of this Crappy Story: part 1. We decided this was far too long to put into one chapter so it'll be three parts at least. Besides, you would have been waiting at least another five months, and we know that'd just kill all of you devoted fans, well, both of you that is. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!
