BIG PATCH OF GRASS OUTSIDE.
Cyclops: Amara! Get over here!
Jubilee: I'm not Amara. I'm freakin' Asian for gods sake.
Amara: I'm Amara.
Cyclops: Oh, I thought you were Dani Moonstar.
Dani: No, I'M Dani.
Cyclops: I thought YOU were X23!
Amanda: I thought I was X23.
X23: No, I am. Look... WOOF!
Amanda: You can't argue with proof like that. I must be Amara then.
Amara: No, you're Amanda Sefton. I'm Amara.
Cyclops: Who am I then?
The clones snarl and turn on Cyclops in a flurry of claws, lava, nightmares and fireworks. Wolverine wanders up and watches.
Wolverine: Cluck?
The clones hiss and launch themselves at Wolverine, giving Scott a chance to run away. As the scene shifts away to the other end of the field we see Jean and the Professor doing some training near some trees.
Charles: No, you've got the gesture all wrong.
Jean: But... Professor!
Charles: No Jean! I am the superior telepath, I will do the teaching!
He takes a deep breath and unsteeples his hands for a second, before moving them upwards, resting one on each temple.
Prof X: Hands... on head... indicating... immense... psychic... pressure... remember... to... take... deep... breaths... adds... to... effect.
Jean: I did that!
Prof X: No you didn't. I'm better than you, Jean, I know more things about being a telepath.
Jean: What's that got to do with anything?
Prof X: My mind is stronger! Thats what!
Jean: But can your mind do this?
She gestures at his wheelchair and sends it spinning six feet into the air. The Professor sighs and shakes his head.
Prof X: You win this round, Jean.
Jean: You're damn right! Now can we get back to training?
Jean gently puts the Professor back on the ground and waits for instruction.
Prof X: Oh, um. Go and telekinesis some shit around.
Jean: Ok!
She levitates herself and begins waving her hands at the Professor. His wheelchair spins up and around, upside down and back to front. Meanwhile, in Scott's bedroom...
Scott: Dude!
Alex: Bro!
Scott: Bro! Man!
Alex: Dude! Surfing!
Scott: Man! Bro! Surfing?
Alex: Bro! Suuuuurfing!
Scott: Oh Bro! Dude! Mansion!
Alex: Nah, suuuurfing, bro!
Scott: Dude! X-Men!
Alex: Bro! No! Suuuuuurfing!
Scott: Woe, Bro!
Alex: Bye Bro! Dude! Bro!
Scott: Dude!
Scott hangs up the phone and wonders why Alex won't join the X-Men. With a woeful sigh he wanders out of his room and down the hallway. He passes some New Recruits on the way down.
Cyclops: Hey dudes! Wanna go and mix it up in the danger room? Its what all the cool kids are doing!
Ice Man: Shut up you loser.
Multiple: I'm the youngest! And no!
Ray: I'm gonna fry your ass!
Canonball: ...
Ray screams with beserker rage and zaps Scott through a nearby wall. The New Recruits run off to have some wacky fun with their powers as Scott gets to his feet.
Cyclops: Little... no good... bastards! I'm cool! I'm one of the gang! I'm... not a snow plough?
He brushes the dust off his uniform and looks at the walls. Magic marker was scrawled all over, the words "I'm not a snow plough!" unevenly written. Feeling a little scared Scott backs up towards the hole in the wall. There's a crack and he looks down, panic building inside him.
Cyclops: A... magic marker? And its... melted? Oh no...
Scott feels a crackling on his head and frantically tries to smooth down his static-ed up hair. A dark figure with burning blue eyes crawls from the corner of the room, marker ink staining her hands.
Storm: You're crowding meeee! I need SPACE! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Cyclops: Storm! No! Noooo-
Storm's eyes blaze even bluer and the room blows up. Lightning, ice and wind swirl around and blow the walls away. Scott is frozen into a block of ice and sent careening through the roof. Sunlight flows in through the holes in the walls and Storm breathes deeply, once again calm. She gathers a gust of wind underneath herself and takes off, flying through the hole in the roof.
Storm: Mmm, clear air, no walls and no one to crowd me. I feel so aliv- ah! AHHHH!
She looks down and sees the clone war at one end of the grounds and Jean and the Professor... training... at the other.
Storm: Too many people! Crushing me! No space! NO SPAAAACE! CAN'T BREATHE!
Clutching her throat and coughing loudly, Storm plummets towards the ground. The Professor see's her and shouts for Jean to catch her.
Prof X: Jean! Ororo is in danger! She's going to crash into the grass! And I can't afford to hire a gardener!
Jean: I'm on it!
Jean flies a few metres into the air and makes pushing motions at Storm. Her fall slows down and Jean brings her to a halt half a metre above the ground.
Prof X: Good work, Jean! We'll make an X-Man of you yet!
Jean: Thanks Professor! Wait a minute... what do you mean-
Storm: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Disturbed by Storm's screaming, Jean loses concerntraton and lets Storm drop the half a metre back to earth. She flies a few metres away and stares down at Storm. The Professor tuts disaprovingly and hovers over in his wheelchair.
Prof X: Are you ok, Ororo? You look like you've taken quite a fright.
Storm: The walls... moving in... crushing meeeeee!
Prof X: Ororo? We're outside... there are no walls.
Storm: But the walls, Charles, the walls!
The Professor raises his eyebrows and and backs his wheelchair away.
Prof X: Ororo, snap out of it. We don't have time for this.
Jean: Professor! I need your help! Hnngh!
Prof X: Damn it, Ororo. I have to go help Jean train. Go and get some help or something. Seriously. But don't charge it to the schools account.
Jean: Hnnngh! Professor! I can't... hnnnnngh... hold it!
Prof X: Jean... thats a leaf. Its ok to let it land on the ground. Its what Autumn is for.
He sighs and pulls the tartan blanket tighter around his legs.
Prof X: If I didn't have to pay for these morons I'd be able to afford that wheelchair with central heating. Idiots.
He wheels around, leaving Jean struggling with the leaf, and heads back to the mansion. Storm lies on her back, legs and arms in the air, muttering insanely to herself.
Storm: Walls... NOT A SNOW PLOUGH! Ploughing walls... witch... weather witch not a snow plough NOT A SNOW PLOUGH WITH WALLS!
Jean: Hnnngh!
* * *
Next time on "X-Men: Devolution":
Cyclops: But Jean, baby, honey, sweetie, why can't we... do it?
* * *
Lance: Hey Kitty, I'm gonna rock your world!
Kitty: Like OH MY GOD!
* * *
Prof X: MWAH HA HA H- oh, hello, how long have you been standing there?
a/n There was one thing I added in the last "Next time on..." in Chapter One, but I couldn't find a way to fit it in. Shame on me.
Cyclops: Amara! Get over here!
Jubilee: I'm not Amara. I'm freakin' Asian for gods sake.
Amara: I'm Amara.
Cyclops: Oh, I thought you were Dani Moonstar.
Dani: No, I'M Dani.
Cyclops: I thought YOU were X23!
Amanda: I thought I was X23.
X23: No, I am. Look... WOOF!
Amanda: You can't argue with proof like that. I must be Amara then.
Amara: No, you're Amanda Sefton. I'm Amara.
Cyclops: Who am I then?
The clones snarl and turn on Cyclops in a flurry of claws, lava, nightmares and fireworks. Wolverine wanders up and watches.
Wolverine: Cluck?
The clones hiss and launch themselves at Wolverine, giving Scott a chance to run away. As the scene shifts away to the other end of the field we see Jean and the Professor doing some training near some trees.
Charles: No, you've got the gesture all wrong.
Jean: But... Professor!
Charles: No Jean! I am the superior telepath, I will do the teaching!
He takes a deep breath and unsteeples his hands for a second, before moving them upwards, resting one on each temple.
Prof X: Hands... on head... indicating... immense... psychic... pressure... remember... to... take... deep... breaths... adds... to... effect.
Jean: I did that!
Prof X: No you didn't. I'm better than you, Jean, I know more things about being a telepath.
Jean: What's that got to do with anything?
Prof X: My mind is stronger! Thats what!
Jean: But can your mind do this?
She gestures at his wheelchair and sends it spinning six feet into the air. The Professor sighs and shakes his head.
Prof X: You win this round, Jean.
Jean: You're damn right! Now can we get back to training?
Jean gently puts the Professor back on the ground and waits for instruction.
Prof X: Oh, um. Go and telekinesis some shit around.
Jean: Ok!
She levitates herself and begins waving her hands at the Professor. His wheelchair spins up and around, upside down and back to front. Meanwhile, in Scott's bedroom...
Scott: Dude!
Alex: Bro!
Scott: Bro! Man!
Alex: Dude! Surfing!
Scott: Man! Bro! Surfing?
Alex: Bro! Suuuuurfing!
Scott: Oh Bro! Dude! Mansion!
Alex: Nah, suuuurfing, bro!
Scott: Dude! X-Men!
Alex: Bro! No! Suuuuuurfing!
Scott: Woe, Bro!
Alex: Bye Bro! Dude! Bro!
Scott: Dude!
Scott hangs up the phone and wonders why Alex won't join the X-Men. With a woeful sigh he wanders out of his room and down the hallway. He passes some New Recruits on the way down.
Cyclops: Hey dudes! Wanna go and mix it up in the danger room? Its what all the cool kids are doing!
Ice Man: Shut up you loser.
Multiple: I'm the youngest! And no!
Ray: I'm gonna fry your ass!
Canonball: ...
Ray screams with beserker rage and zaps Scott through a nearby wall. The New Recruits run off to have some wacky fun with their powers as Scott gets to his feet.
Cyclops: Little... no good... bastards! I'm cool! I'm one of the gang! I'm... not a snow plough?
He brushes the dust off his uniform and looks at the walls. Magic marker was scrawled all over, the words "I'm not a snow plough!" unevenly written. Feeling a little scared Scott backs up towards the hole in the wall. There's a crack and he looks down, panic building inside him.
Cyclops: A... magic marker? And its... melted? Oh no...
Scott feels a crackling on his head and frantically tries to smooth down his static-ed up hair. A dark figure with burning blue eyes crawls from the corner of the room, marker ink staining her hands.
Storm: You're crowding meeee! I need SPACE! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Cyclops: Storm! No! Noooo-
Storm's eyes blaze even bluer and the room blows up. Lightning, ice and wind swirl around and blow the walls away. Scott is frozen into a block of ice and sent careening through the roof. Sunlight flows in through the holes in the walls and Storm breathes deeply, once again calm. She gathers a gust of wind underneath herself and takes off, flying through the hole in the roof.
Storm: Mmm, clear air, no walls and no one to crowd me. I feel so aliv- ah! AHHHH!
She looks down and sees the clone war at one end of the grounds and Jean and the Professor... training... at the other.
Storm: Too many people! Crushing me! No space! NO SPAAAACE! CAN'T BREATHE!
Clutching her throat and coughing loudly, Storm plummets towards the ground. The Professor see's her and shouts for Jean to catch her.
Prof X: Jean! Ororo is in danger! She's going to crash into the grass! And I can't afford to hire a gardener!
Jean: I'm on it!
Jean flies a few metres into the air and makes pushing motions at Storm. Her fall slows down and Jean brings her to a halt half a metre above the ground.
Prof X: Good work, Jean! We'll make an X-Man of you yet!
Jean: Thanks Professor! Wait a minute... what do you mean-
Storm: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Disturbed by Storm's screaming, Jean loses concerntraton and lets Storm drop the half a metre back to earth. She flies a few metres away and stares down at Storm. The Professor tuts disaprovingly and hovers over in his wheelchair.
Prof X: Are you ok, Ororo? You look like you've taken quite a fright.
Storm: The walls... moving in... crushing meeeeee!
Prof X: Ororo? We're outside... there are no walls.
Storm: But the walls, Charles, the walls!
The Professor raises his eyebrows and and backs his wheelchair away.
Prof X: Ororo, snap out of it. We don't have time for this.
Jean: Professor! I need your help! Hnngh!
Prof X: Damn it, Ororo. I have to go help Jean train. Go and get some help or something. Seriously. But don't charge it to the schools account.
Jean: Hnnngh! Professor! I can't... hnnnnngh... hold it!
Prof X: Jean... thats a leaf. Its ok to let it land on the ground. Its what Autumn is for.
He sighs and pulls the tartan blanket tighter around his legs.
Prof X: If I didn't have to pay for these morons I'd be able to afford that wheelchair with central heating. Idiots.
He wheels around, leaving Jean struggling with the leaf, and heads back to the mansion. Storm lies on her back, legs and arms in the air, muttering insanely to herself.
Storm: Walls... NOT A SNOW PLOUGH! Ploughing walls... witch... weather witch not a snow plough NOT A SNOW PLOUGH WITH WALLS!
Jean: Hnnngh!
* * *
Next time on "X-Men: Devolution":
Cyclops: But Jean, baby, honey, sweetie, why can't we... do it?
* * *
Lance: Hey Kitty, I'm gonna rock your world!
Kitty: Like OH MY GOD!
* * *
Prof X: MWAH HA HA H- oh, hello, how long have you been standing there?
a/n There was one thing I added in the last "Next time on..." in Chapter One, but I couldn't find a way to fit it in. Shame on me.
