THERES SOMETHING ABOUT SHEGO

A collaborative fan fiction

By the Pyschedelic Leviathan and Creative Artist

a/n: This chapter is mine. Next chapter belongs to him. I'm not one to share in anything, but I'm willing to try it.

"Whoa the boss looks pretty messed up." One of the henchmen stated.

"You think?" The second asked stupidly.

"I dunno, maybe."

Drakken was sprawled out on his back amidst the wreckage that had been his room before he had started drinking last night. He had hit the fire water heavy and hard for a number of hours. He was mumbling things to himself incoherently.

"You think we should ask him about it?" The first henchman said.

"Maybe."

One of the henchmen prodded Drakken with a red booted foot. "Hey boss. Is you alright?"

"Oh God no...

" Drakken muttered. He paused to cough up a gross looking mothball that he had swallowed laying drunkenly on the floor. The henchmen thought it vaguely gross. "Do I look alrite Bruno?" He asked the henchmen.

"No...I DON'T!"

"Wese' is just trying to help."

"And that's very touching of you. But it doesn't change the fact that Shego is still off with that pretty boy lump...JUNIOR."

"Then maybe you should go and talk to her. Try to get her to come back."

"Oh I can't do that, she'd never listen. Look at me, I'm blue, I'm ugly, I'm a dweeb and I get angry over the stupidest things. Junior on the other hand has boyish good looks and charm."

"Well maybe you need to change your image."

Drakken looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Like what?"

"Well be less of a dork and more like a man. Women are into men."

"Well I am down with the hip-ness. Word yo. Old school homie G."

The henchmen looked at each other with vague disbelief. Henchmen weren't the brightest of people but they could understand what Drakken was aiming at here.

"Drakken...are you gonna do what I think your is gonna do?"

"Word. Now lets get this image makeover started old school homie."

Drakken walked off with renewed confidence.

"Hey what are we doing?" Bruno asked.

"We're going on an epic trip to the heart of all darkness. An epic quest in which I Doctor Drakken will be transformed from the pissant little worm that I am now into a real man. We're going to...THE MALL."

The henchmen gasped. There worst Drakken related nightmare was coming true. But what could they do? He was their employer after all.

"Are you alright KP?" Ron asked.

"No, I'm just a little bit preoccupied." She sighed.

"Why? We got the naco! Who needs angst?" He asked.

"Uh huh!" Rufus agreed, the rodent scarfing down the cheesy Mexican food.

"Ron, tell me the truth. What do you really think about Shego?"

"I think she's one hot slice of babe. What else?"

"Is that right?"

"I'm a teenage boy. I cannot help my hormone drenched desires."

Kim looked over the angst free face of Ron as he stuffed nacos into his face in quit a disgusting manner. She felt a little that she was in some way betraying him. But then Kim wasn't really sure what she felt. This was a previously unthinkable position. The idea of competing with a friend over a crush was not a new idea for her at all, she had done so quite vigorously in the pursuit of a certain Japanese exchange student. But the friend she was always clashing with in these hypothetical situations was Monique...definitely not Ron Stoppable.

Kim looked up at Ron with sad eyes.

"Ron...what if I told you I felt the same way?"

Ron almost dropped his naco. Rufus fell to the ground in shock.

"Kim...what did you just say?"

"Ron...I think I love Shego too."

"Whoa." Ron said almost perverted like. "I'd think that...that's hot!"

"You are so not helping now."

"Hey, I try" Ron said as he was finishing his naco

"Ron after we both knocked out I almost died. The reason I didn't was because Shego gave me, well some mouth to mouth revival. And when she was doing that I kind of well seized the moment. I kissed her Ron." She stammered sheepishly. "I grabbed her and sucked her face."

"Whoa." He said moronically.

"Yeah I'm kind of confused by it." Kim was pouty looking. "I can't stop thinking about her Ron. Last night I was dreaming about her."

"I know. I dream about Shego too. Was it the one where she flys in the window naked?"

"Ugh. So not the image I wanted Ron."

"Yeah right. You want her, admit it." He said perversely.

Kim looked annoyed, but then shifted to defeated.

"Yeah...I admit it. She's beautiful."

"Well okay then." Ron said. "You like her. So do I."

"Yeah. I get the idea."

Kim and Ron looked at each other uneasily. It was on.

"We'll still be friends right Ron?"

"Yeah...of course we will be. Always."

But neither could really believe in those words. The awesome beauty of Shego was enough to split pretty much anyone apart.

One of the henchmen read the top of the news uneasily. He was not very bright, but knew enough of Shego and other villians to understand what was going on.

'GOVERNMENT SECRECY SURROUNDS MISSLE THEFT.'

"So Shego's got the bomb huh Bruno?" The henchmen asked.

"Looks like it. That's real bad."

"Yeah. She could take over the world and all now."

"Speaking of unspeakable horrors...check it out." Bruno stated.

"Oh dear lawd."

Drakken came out of the poser store decked out in baggy clothes and gold jewelry. One of those quasi sports jersies with 'PLAYAS' emblazoned upon it hung over his baggy jeans. A gold necklace with a dollar bill sign hung about his neck. He wore a backwards hat with '69' written on it.

"Bling bling yo." He stated.

"Drakken?" Bruno asked.

"Just call D Dawg'. Homie. Lets get this party started old school yo by robbing some banks and getting us some dead presidents."

"Dear god." The nameless henchmen stated.

"Its all about the benjamins foo'." Drakken growled as he adjusted his sunglasses.