TITLE: Usual Suspects
AUTHOR: Meloko
EMAIL: faithz_angel@hotmail.com
ARCHIVE: fanfiction.net and any who wants it.
CATEGORY: Humour
SPOILERS:
SEASON/SEQUEL: Season 3?
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Someone took the last piece of chocolate cake and General Hammond wants to find out who!
DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story is written by yours truly, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a rather pointless fic, but it came to me after cooking one in food technology and it was really just to make me laugh. It also has a kinda 'who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?' theme and I just had the most funniest of images of them all in a line up.
The usual suspects
All in the room eyed the last piece of double chocolate cake. Crumbs had formed round the main piece and the dark chocolate on top proved all too tempting for passers by. General Hammond having just come in, reached for the last piece when.......
"Sorry Sir, the President needs to speak to you".
His eyes never leaving the cake sight until the wall blocked his view. Minutes later he returned. No cake but a room filled with five suspects.
"Who took the cake?"
Silence.
"Cassandra?"
"What? I'm the main suspect as I'm the youngest!"
"It's the way of the world, sugar"
"Sugar! Jack, I am not your sugar, and I never will be"
"Who let the cat out of the bag?"
"Carter!"
"God, I've spent too much time with you, I'm being sarcastic!"
"As your superior officer, I demand you take that back!"
"Cause this is a military matter!"
"Who stole the cake then?"
"It's obvious, Sir, Carter stole it!"
"No I didn't!"
"Er, yes you did"
"Is anyone else thinking they're acting like kids?"
"Excuse me Daniel?"
"Well we should each give our testimonies and see the result"
"Sounds fair, to me Sir"
"Well let's start with you then Carter"
"Fine, I was talking to Daniel about what the archaeology team brought back from P3X 49. Good enough for you?"
"Daniel, is this true?"
"Yes, the planet was of particular......."
"Daniel, we don't need an explanation!"
"What about you then Sir?"
"I was called away.........."
"By?"
"Major Stewart wanted to see a report. What about you Doc?"
"Cassie and I were in the other room talking"
"Can you confirm this now sugar?"
"Jack! Yes, I was talking to mum"
"Which only leaves........."
They all turned round.
"Teal'c!"
"Did you take the cake?" General Hammond finally asked.
"That I did"
"And you didn't think to share this with us before!"
"No one asked me"
They all rolled their eyes.
"I guess the mystery's solved but you never got your cake Sir"
"It was tempting, but I'm more of a cheesecake man myself!"
~Fin~
AUTHOR: Meloko
EMAIL: faithz_angel@hotmail.com
ARCHIVE: fanfiction.net and any who wants it.
CATEGORY: Humour
SPOILERS:
SEASON/SEQUEL: Season 3?
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Someone took the last piece of chocolate cake and General Hammond wants to find out who!
DISCLAIMER: None of this is mine; the actual story is written by yours truly, but the characters and name etc, don't belong to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a rather pointless fic, but it came to me after cooking one in food technology and it was really just to make me laugh. It also has a kinda 'who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?' theme and I just had the most funniest of images of them all in a line up.
The usual suspects
All in the room eyed the last piece of double chocolate cake. Crumbs had formed round the main piece and the dark chocolate on top proved all too tempting for passers by. General Hammond having just come in, reached for the last piece when.......
"Sorry Sir, the President needs to speak to you".
His eyes never leaving the cake sight until the wall blocked his view. Minutes later he returned. No cake but a room filled with five suspects.
"Who took the cake?"
Silence.
"Cassandra?"
"What? I'm the main suspect as I'm the youngest!"
"It's the way of the world, sugar"
"Sugar! Jack, I am not your sugar, and I never will be"
"Who let the cat out of the bag?"
"Carter!"
"God, I've spent too much time with you, I'm being sarcastic!"
"As your superior officer, I demand you take that back!"
"Cause this is a military matter!"
"Who stole the cake then?"
"It's obvious, Sir, Carter stole it!"
"No I didn't!"
"Er, yes you did"
"Is anyone else thinking they're acting like kids?"
"Excuse me Daniel?"
"Well we should each give our testimonies and see the result"
"Sounds fair, to me Sir"
"Well let's start with you then Carter"
"Fine, I was talking to Daniel about what the archaeology team brought back from P3X 49. Good enough for you?"
"Daniel, is this true?"
"Yes, the planet was of particular......."
"Daniel, we don't need an explanation!"
"What about you then Sir?"
"I was called away.........."
"By?"
"Major Stewart wanted to see a report. What about you Doc?"
"Cassie and I were in the other room talking"
"Can you confirm this now sugar?"
"Jack! Yes, I was talking to mum"
"Which only leaves........."
They all turned round.
"Teal'c!"
"Did you take the cake?" General Hammond finally asked.
"That I did"
"And you didn't think to share this with us before!"
"No one asked me"
They all rolled their eyes.
"I guess the mystery's solved but you never got your cake Sir"
"It was tempting, but I'm more of a cheesecake man myself!"
~Fin~
