Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama

Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2

Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.

Rating: PG-13

Content Warnings:

Summary: SG-1 continue their missions with Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme.

Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated

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"Now Obi-Wan, when are you gonna teach me how to move things with my mind?" O'Neill asked as he and SG-1, minus Daniel, followed the Jedi into the starfighter hangar. "Because if you really want my help, I think that would be a good trade for my services."

"I'm afraid you're much," looking over the Colonel and establishing his age, Kenobi added, "much too old to begin Jedi training."

Sam and Teal'c exchanged glances and stifled a laughed.

"Ouch," Jack responded. "I think I'm offended."

As they reached the vessels Obi-Wan inquired, "Is there any chance you know how to fly a starfighter?" At the mention of the Jedi ship, Teal'c's ears perked up, and it was obvious that he would like nothing more than to fly one.

O'Neill remarked smugly, "They anything like a death glider?"

"I am unfamiliar with death gliders." Kenobi answered.

"That's kinda what I figured." O'Neill muttered as Teal'c and Carter moved to examine one of the ships.

As they approached the vessel, both of them were surprised and looked at each other to confirm what they were seeing. "Woah... Weird," Carter exclaimed.

"What is it, Major?" O'Neill questioned.

Teal'c answered him, "This does not appear to be a Jedi starfighter. The exterior resembles one in shape, yet the interior exactly matches a death glider." Recalling his vast Star Wars knowledge, Teal'c stated. "It even has a two-passenger cockpit. Starfighters are piloted by one Jedi and an R2 unit. This is definitely not a starfighter."

"So you're saying it is like a death glider. Sweet. Let's fly it." O'Neill said, smiling.

Carter interjected, "Sir, this is getting pretty strange. It's starting to look more like some kind of a Goa'uld trick."

"I concur," the Jaffa added.

"I know this looks like a trap, but what do you suggest we do. You guys said we should help the Jedi. Now unless you have a better idea, we're going to help the Jedi." The Colonel paused and waited for an answer. When none came, he added, "I'm open to suggestions." When still no answer came, he turned to Kenobi and told him, "We'll be able to fly these. You just tell us where we need to go. Teal'c and I will take one fighter and you and Carter can take the other, okay?"

"That is acceptable." Obi-Wan answered.

"Good. Let's go," O'Neill said as they all moved toward their ships.

*****

"There it is. Right where it should be... our missing planet Kamino," Obi-Wan stated as the two ships flew toward the blue globe.

As the starfighters came to a stop on the landing platform and the four passengers climbed out, rain poured over them. They rushed toward the entrance, and the doors opened automatically before them. Inside, an exceedingly tall, slender, gray creature clothed in a long, metallic blue skirt approached.

The creature's large black eyes blinked as she spoke in a feminine voice, "Master Jedi, the Prime Minister is expecting you."

"You must be a super model," O'Neill commented as he noted the grace with which this extremely skinny being walked.

Ignoring the Colonel's comment, Obi-Wan inquired, "I am expected?"

"Of course. He is anxious to meet you. After all these years, we were beginning to think you weren't coming. Now please, this way." The alien woman gestured with her arm to point the group in the direction they should travel.

Whispering to O'Neill quietly enough that the alien couldn't hear, Sam commented, "She looks like a stretched out Asgard with clothes." The Colonel, who had also noticed the extreme similarity, nodded back.

They followed the hallway to a bright, white room where they were introduced to Thor, the Prime Minister of Kamino. The SG-1 members stood near the entryway as the Jedi master spoke with the man. They were all more than a little surprised to find that the aliens' leader had the same name as the Asgard's.

Two chairs lowered from the ceiling, and were quickly occupied by Kenobi and Thor. The three members of SG-1 listened as the alien and the Jedi master talked. After the third mention of the name 'Siphideus,' O'Neill couldn't help himself and blurted out, "Si – Fi – De – Us."

This earned him an annoyed look from everyone in the room. Obi-Wan quickly told the Prime Minister, "Please, ignore my companion. He seems to have some sort of behavioral disorder." Attempting to return to the previous line of conversation, he requested, "Tell me more about the units."

Sounding very irritated, Teal'c turned to the Colonel. "O'Neill, you are ruining the movie for me," he said in a hushed tone.

Trying not to interrupt the conversation again, O'Neill said quietly, "Oh, come on Teal'c. Are you serious?" Looking at the larger man's face, all he saw was a deadly serious expression.

"This has been a very disappointing experience." he responded flatly.

Sighing and sounding slightly irritated, the older man said, "Ya know, Teal'c, I hate to break it to ya, but the movie was ruined as soon as we got sucked into it."

Teal'c had a hint of a smile on his face as he stated, "I am very disappointed because I cannot believe it is not butter."

Slightly amused yet annoyed O'Neill said, "Very funny, Teal'c. Work on that sense of humor, huh."

"Sir," Carter interrupted. O'Neill's attention was drawn back to the two figures in the center of the room who now stood, ready to move to another room in order to inspect the clone army that the Kaminoans had created.

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Daniel, Padme, and Anakin exited their boat and climbed the stairs to their hidden retreat. Padme had changed into a flowing, white, backless gown, and the scenery was comprised of breathtakingly beautiful flowers and architecture on a backdrop of glistening water.

"We used to come here for school retreat," Padme commented as she walked toward the far end of the balcony followed by the two men. "We would swim to that island every day. I love the water." They walked in silence a few seconds as they reached the stony balcony railing. "We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing."

"I don't like sand," Anakin admitted in an attempt to gain his love's affections. "It's course and ruff and irritating and it gets everywhere, not like you. You're everything soft and smooth."

They stood in silence as Padme looked at him. Suddenly, she began to laugh, "I never knew you could be funny. That has got to be the corniest thing I've ever heard." Seeing the horrified look on his face, she questioned, "You were kidding, right?" Quickly discovering that he was indeed serious, she began to apologize, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..." She stopped, not knowing what to say next.

Feeling rather uncomfortable, and not wanting to make Anakin's pain any worse, Daniel said, "I'm going to go check out the rest of the building." He quickly went inside before Padme could protest.

"Why do you have to be so mean to me?" Anakin whined. "I didn't do anything to you, but all you can think about is HIM. Well what about ME?" The young Jedi began to sob and slid down against the railing.

Feeling pity for the young man, she knelt down and spoke soothingly, "Anakin, I'm sorry. I know that you think you're in love with me..." She searched for words, but didn't have much experience in consoling crying young men. She made an effort to smile and seem polite. "It's just a childhood crush. You're a Jedi now. You'll just have to get over this. Come inside when you're feeling better, okay?" With that, she stood and went inside to unpack.