Authors note: Thanks for the reviews!!

here goes..

Chap 5

"Come on."

"No."

"Spike, don't be stupid come on!" She grasps my hand and I sigh inwardly. Her skin is touching mine. HER skin is TOUCHING mine.

"Well I like being stupid. Bloody hell no!" I look out the front door at the blazing summers day. I ain't going nowhere.

"If these Power That Be people say you don't have a demon then you don't have a demon!" I can see she's determined, but still, I don't want to burn to death.

With one fast yank I find myself flying out onto the front lawn. Quickly I grab my duster and try to wrap it unsuccessfully around me to shade myself from the Sun's deadly rays.

Wait a sec.

I'm not on fire.

No hot sensation.

No agonising pain.

I peer out from beneath my shade and look up at the blue blanket of a sky. Slowly I stand and bask in the warmth that I haven't felt in such a long time I hardly remembered how good it felt.

Laughter comes from the doorway and I turn and scowl in return. I could have gone up in flames as far as she knew!! How dare she do that to me!

But god she's beautiful.

******

The sun reflects off his face and shows off his handsome exterior. Wow, he is gorgeous. I laugh at how he acts; looking at the sun as if this was the first time he'd ever seen it. Well logically, I suppose it is the first time he has seen it since, well, forever.

A car pulls up outside the house and its Dawn; she looks strangely at the young (well not exactly but he looks it) man, stood gazing at the sky from my front lawn.

"Meteor shower or something?" Bold as brass she strolls up to him and strains to see what he is looking at.

"Don't be bloody stupid - " He turns and notices her stopping mid sentence. "Dawn?" Now she's scared.

I can see the fear and suspicion creep across her face as she turns and looks at me for support.

"Do I know you?" She asks keeping her gaze on me.

"Well Yes and No." He tilts his head and furrows his forehead trying to work out the right answer.

"Just I'm sure I've seen you before."

Hope leaps into his eyes. "You remember? Well the lil' bit remembers!"

"Whoa, I don't 'remember' you from anywhere, its just you look familiar that's all." Dawn starts backing away from Spike, obviously nervous about his excitement.

The hope fades and those blue eyes grow dull. How I wish to make the light come back to those sparkling eyes.

"Buffy!" There's a shout from inside the house and I retreat reluctantly inside, my sister close at my heels eager to get away from the "stranger."

"Angel's on the phone." Giles smiles and hands me the phone.

My heart stops.

"Hello?"

"Hey." His voice is gruff.

"What's up?" I'm concerned. Angel NEVER rings, I'm surprised he even knows how to use the phone.

"Just checking that you've settled in ok." OK, well that's weird.

"Yes, everything is fine - "

"Buffy!" Spike yells from outside, obviously mad about something.

"Is that Spike?" He takes an angrier tone.

"Uh - " I hardly have chance to answer when -

"Is that Peaches?" I look astonished at Spike. He had heard Angel on the other end of the phone? Stupid demon hearing.

More to the point, Angel knows who Spike is?

"How do you know Spike?" I ask completely baffled by this conversation.

"Buffy, you ok? It's Spike. My childe." He is as confused as I am.

"It's a long story." I sigh, not really wanting to get into this conversation right now.

"And I have time on my hands, tell me."

And so I do. I tell him about what happened since last night, and what Spike claims to be. When I've finally finished, Angel remains silent at the other end of the phone.

"You still there?" After all I can't hear him breathing.

"Yeah I'm here. Now Buffy, I'm going to tell you about what happened four years ago when you came to see me about my "Lurking." - "

"You mean, when I yelled at you, stormed out then you came and found me and proceeded to beat on my boyfriend?"

He sounds guilty. "Yeah that's the one apart from that's not exactly how it went. Do you remember that Demon that disturbed us?"

"Yea, ugly green guy."

"Well what really happened was that I didn't know how to fight the green guy and he got away. So the two of us tracked him and killed him. While fighting him, his blood mixed with mine and I became human - "

"HUMAN?" I repeat.

"Yes, as in heart beating, blood pumping, day walking, - "

"No curse human." I finish the sentence.

"Yep."

"Ohh." I can imagine what took place next.

"So after a few days spent with you human, we discovered the demon wasn't dead but stronger. You struggled to kill it and I was unable to help, as I was human. Before it died it warned us of more to come. These were demons I knew you would need help with someday." I could hear how hurt he was in his voice; this had been killing him inside. He continues: "So I returned to The Oracles and they took back the day. Taking it from your memory but allowing it to stay in mine so I could kill the demon before its blood mixed with mine."

I sigh.

"I couldn't tell you Buffy, it was too hard. Its just this time, maybe it will help Spike, prove to you that it can happen, that it has happened. I'm sorry." He sounds rejected.

"I understand Angel." I look up and find Spike leaning against the wall next too me. "Look I have to go, I'll keep in touch"

"Good bye Buffy and take care." I can hear the love in his voice, and can't help smiling.

"You too Angel, bye." I sigh and hang up.

******

She had SEX with the poofter? I thought she was over that? Thought she'd moved on after he had left?

Seething jealous travels through my body and I fight the urge to hurt something. Why am I always living in his shadow?

She looks at me and knows instantly that I have heard everything that has been said.

"So, Angel was your sire?"

"Yeah the fucking Wanker."

"And I take it you didn't get along?"

"Well I hated him, he hated me we generally had a hate: hate relationship."

"Oh."

"So now you're instantly thinking that you must have hated me as much as Angel hates me." I say obviously, reading her mind.

"Well - "

"Yeah you did hate me, you hated me from the moment you laid eyes on me. And do you know why? Because I was evil, you were supposed to hate me. Then I had the chip and still you hated me because of who I am. I don't expect that things will ever change, you probably do still hate me, even if you don't realise it yet." I take one last look at her beautiful face and head outside, running from the cause of this pain.

******

Angel knew Spike? Angel remembers Spike? How come he remembers him but no one else does?

And why didn't Angel tell me about that day four years ago? I knew it would hurt like hell, but I had the right to know. Too late now.

As for Spike - I HATED Spike?

How can I find that so unreal, so unbelievable?

And why do I not hate him now? Surely feelings as strong as that would still exist?

I watch his retreating back and wish I could run on up to him, throw my arms around his neck so he could hold me through this pain. How could I ever hate a man like him?

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