Category: Star Wars / Stargate SG-1 crossover, Humor, Action / Adventure, Drama
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings:
Summary: SG1 find their way home... or maybe not. [Padme/Daniel]
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated
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Obi-Wan stood outside his starfighter, battling a rainstorm to communicate over holocam with the Jedi Council while the rest of the group waited inside. "Apparently Colonel O'Neill's team have encountered this bounty hunter, Jengo Fett, before. However, they know him by the name Apophis. They say he is different than when they dealt with him previously. Apparently he is lacking something called a 'Goa'uld,' which is some type of creature. I've never heard of it, have you?"
"Not have I," answered Yoda. "Ominous it sounds."
*Not have I!?* Kenobi thought, *Yoda's really pushing it with this backward talk.* Aloud, he responded, "I have a strong feeling this is the bounty hunter we've been looking for," Kenobi shouted over the wind as he crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest.
Before Yoda or Windu could respond, their images began to break up. Then, without warning, the sky, the platform, and the entire world around Obi-Wan began to break apart into long scratchy lines. Worried, he turned and ran back inside.
As he ran through the doors he exclaimed, "O'Neill, what's going on?"
"I was hoping you knew," the colonel responded.
Suddenly, the world seemed to melt away, leaving behind a room filled with rows of cushioned red chairs and a white screen in front.
"Finally," O'Neill exclaimed as he thrust his hands into the air. He hadn't been this happy inside a movie theatre since he was a teenager.
Seeing Obi-Wan's confused look, Sam explained, "This is the movie theater we started out in."
"I see." The Jedi looked distress as he stated, "It seems you've found your way back home then."
Realizing that Kenobi was now trapped in their world, she put her hand on his arm and assured him, "We'll help you find a way back."
Kenobi smiled back warmly, "Thank you, Sam. I appreciate that."
Sam smiled back and nodded as she removed her hand from his arm.
A moment later, a very enraged voice shouted, "What the hell am I doing here?"
The group turned to see the young Jedi standing in the back of the theater, looking very angry. Obi-Wan quickly scolded him, "Anakin, control yourself."
"Stuff it, old man," he snapped back.
The Jedi Master looked shocked at his Padawan's attitude. His disappointment was overwhelming, and he quietly turned his back to the young man. Sam looked on. She wanted to comfort Kenobi, but she knew he would not welcome it under these circumstances.
Seeing his master react in a manner he had never seen before brought Anakin to his senses. Realizing what he had done, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Master. I was out of line."
Obi-Wan did not move. He continued standing with his arms crossed over his chest, staring stone faced in the other direction. Anakin's guilt grew as everyone stood in silence.
The quiet tension was broken by another voice from across the room. "Jack?"
Turning to see his friend, Jack sighed with relief, calling out, "Daniel! Thank god."
With Padme standing next to him, Daniel asked, "So are we home?"
"I sure hope so," Jack answered.
Suddenly, loud music came over the speakers. The group looked around and saw that the movie screen was getting cloudy. A black haze swirled around and grew out of the screen to become a hazy, black fog. It was either an impressive special effect by the theater company, or they were in fact not home.
"Oh no...," O'Neill groaned, expressing everyone's dread.
Out of the haze, a man dressed in a black cape and an angular black helmet approached. He was a menacing figure whose breathing seemed to be amplified. As he stopped, he removed his helmet. His breathing now became normal and everyone could see that he was an ordinary man of around 50 years old.
"Luke Skywalker," Teal'c blurted out. He was very puzzled by this new turn of events.
The man in black became very irritated at that and exclaimed, "Look, the name is Mark Hamill. Yes, I played Luke Skywalker, but I've got bills, a lot of bills, to pay. So what if I'm doing this stupid promotion in a Darth Vader outfit for practically nothing? Could we please move on?"
Taken aback, Teal'c nodded his head and said, "My apologies."
Hamill continued with the message he had come to deliver, "Anyway, here's the deal folks. We're having technical difficulties with the Star Wars film. It may take awhile to work things out. The managers are giving you two options. You can either return to the lobby to get a refund on your tickets or you can stick around here. For those of you who stay, we're going to be playing some old movie trailers. Thanks for your cooperation." Without further ado, Hamill quickly proceeded to exit the theater.
SG-1 looked at each other and O'Neill gave the order, "Let's get out of here."
At that, they all headed for the exit Mark Hamill had just taken, not quite believing that the answer to their problems could be that easy. Their belief was confirmed when Teal'c pushed on the door handle, but it didn't open. He tried to pull on the door, but that yielded the same results. He then rammed the door with his shoulder, but it wouldn't budge.
"Check the other exits," O'Neill ordered and the other three each walked to the remaining doors. To their disappointment, they quickly found that none of them would open.
On the screen, the promised movie trailers had begun playing, but no one paid them any attention.
Padme approached Daniel and grasped his arm, whispering, "Daniel, what's going on? Where are we?"
He answered, "This is my world... I think." He took hold of her hand and turned to her. "Padme, I honestly don't know what's going on. None of us know. My friends and I were suddenly transported into your world while we were watching you on that." He pointed to the movie screen in front of them. "This is some type of... of... strange occurrence we can't figure out."
Padme picked up on the use of the word 'we,' and she suddenly looked upset. "Wait a minute," she exclaimed. "Just how many of you knew about this 'strange occurrence' before now?"
Daniel looked away guiltily as he answered, "Well... Umm... Everyone but you."
She became indignant at this, ripping her hand from his grasp and shouting loudly over the theatre's speakers, "I can't believe you would keep something like this from me."
Seeing an opportunity, Anakin quickly jumped in with, "That's right, Padme. He was hiding things from you. He's a bad guy. You can't trust him."
"Shut up, Anakin!" she quickly shot back.
Daniel placed his hands on Padme's shoulders. As he struggled to explain, the rest of SG-1 looked on in shock. Hoping to shed some light on this new situation, O'Neill questioned, "Daniel?"
Sounding very irritated and turning his head to his commanding officer, Daniel snapped, "Could you give me a minute, Jack?"
The Colonel raised his hands in front of him and turned his head in a gesture that seemed to say, 'Sorry, I thought I was in charge here.'
Daniel turned back to Padme and looked into her eyes, telling her, "I'm sorry. I... I just... I thought you would think I was crazy if I told you the truth." He reached up toward her forehead and ran his hand through her hair. "You have to admit, if you hadn't seen it yourself, you wouldn't have believed me."
Unable to stay angry while looking into Daniel's innocent eyes, Padme quickly gave in, "You're right." She smiled and hugged him, "I forgive you."
Exasperated by yet another display of affection instead of a major argument, Anakin shouted, "Son of a..."
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan quickly interrupted, giving him a scolding look.
"Would you two get a room," he whined as he walked to the far end of the theatre.
Suddenly, Daniel's attention was drawn away from the woman in front of him by the images on the screen. Egyptian pyramids appeared, followed by a group of people lifting a large, circular object. A voice carried out a narration, "... a mystery, a secret, a threshold to the future..."
Daniel let go of Padme. His jaw dropped, and he began walking slowly toward the screen. The other members of SG-1 followed Daniel's gaze. Jack's eyes grew wide as he too walked closer.
Short clips from the movie began to play. "One man will break the code and open the door. The other will lead the way," the narrator continued.
Daniel and Jack looked at each other, hoping that they were the only one seeing this. Judging from the other's expression, they realized that they were not. In disbelief, they turned their attention back to the images, which continued for several minutes.
The trailer went quiet and the word "Stargate" remained on the screen for what seemed to be a very long time. All of SG-1 were rendered speechless and continued staring.
Padme whispered to Obi-Wan, "Wow, people on this planet must really get into these things." Obi-Wan nodded in agreement.
Sam and Teal'c stood by knowing that they had just seen a summary of Jack and Daniel's first trip through the gate, but not knowing precisely how accurate it was.
Sam finally composed herself and stated, "That was about you."
"We realize this, Carter," Jack snapped.
Daniel was dumbfounded as he asked, "Jack, how do they know all that? That's not just what happened. That's exactly what happened. It's like they had a camera filming us. Only that's not me. And that's not you. And that wasn't Catherine. And that wasn't Sha're."
"But that was Skara and Kasuf, and that was most definitely Ra," O'Neill added. Almost every person they knew looked different in this on-screen representation, but for some reason, three of them were the same. Neither one of them knew what to make of it.
"Those scenes... I remember saying those things." Daniel looked to Jack for some kind of explanation. When none was forthcoming, he turned to the one person he knew he could rely on. "Sam?"
"I'm sorry, Daniel, but... I have no idea."
"It seems like we're not the only ones who are in a movie," Obi-Wan observed.
"If there was a movie, I sure as hell wasn't it in," O'Neill stated flatly.
"And neither was I," Daniel added.
After more thought, Sam chimed in, "Okay, we've seen this kind of thing happen before. We know that there are parallel realities. Maybe in one, the two of you are just a movie. In another, Star Wars is real life. Somehow we're all being transported around these parallel realities."
Hearing the word 'transport' reminded the Colonel of another science fiction program. "This is getting too Star Trek for me," he grumbled.
"It is in fact 'Stargate', O'Neill," Teal'c corrected, noting the movie title they had just seen.
Jack raised his hands toward Teal'c as though he were about to strangle him. "I'm not in the mood, Teal'c."
The Jaffa merely raised an eyebrow at him.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: The appearance of Mark Hamill in this story was done in jest and was not intended to insult Mr. Hamill. The reference to him needing money is making light of the fact that people think he has done no work since Star Wars, when he has in fact had a successful voiceover career which (from interviews he's given) he is very happy with.)
Spoilers: Star Wars: Episode 2
Season/Sequel info: Takes place during season 3, after FIAD.
Rating: PG-13
Content Warnings:
Summary: SG1 find their way home... or maybe not. [Padme/Daniel]
Feedback: Feedback is welcome and very much appreciated
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Obi-Wan stood outside his starfighter, battling a rainstorm to communicate over holocam with the Jedi Council while the rest of the group waited inside. "Apparently Colonel O'Neill's team have encountered this bounty hunter, Jengo Fett, before. However, they know him by the name Apophis. They say he is different than when they dealt with him previously. Apparently he is lacking something called a 'Goa'uld,' which is some type of creature. I've never heard of it, have you?"
"Not have I," answered Yoda. "Ominous it sounds."
*Not have I!?* Kenobi thought, *Yoda's really pushing it with this backward talk.* Aloud, he responded, "I have a strong feeling this is the bounty hunter we've been looking for," Kenobi shouted over the wind as he crossed his arms tightly in front of his chest.
Before Yoda or Windu could respond, their images began to break up. Then, without warning, the sky, the platform, and the entire world around Obi-Wan began to break apart into long scratchy lines. Worried, he turned and ran back inside.
As he ran through the doors he exclaimed, "O'Neill, what's going on?"
"I was hoping you knew," the colonel responded.
Suddenly, the world seemed to melt away, leaving behind a room filled with rows of cushioned red chairs and a white screen in front.
"Finally," O'Neill exclaimed as he thrust his hands into the air. He hadn't been this happy inside a movie theatre since he was a teenager.
Seeing Obi-Wan's confused look, Sam explained, "This is the movie theater we started out in."
"I see." The Jedi looked distress as he stated, "It seems you've found your way back home then."
Realizing that Kenobi was now trapped in their world, she put her hand on his arm and assured him, "We'll help you find a way back."
Kenobi smiled back warmly, "Thank you, Sam. I appreciate that."
Sam smiled back and nodded as she removed her hand from his arm.
A moment later, a very enraged voice shouted, "What the hell am I doing here?"
The group turned to see the young Jedi standing in the back of the theater, looking very angry. Obi-Wan quickly scolded him, "Anakin, control yourself."
"Stuff it, old man," he snapped back.
The Jedi Master looked shocked at his Padawan's attitude. His disappointment was overwhelming, and he quietly turned his back to the young man. Sam looked on. She wanted to comfort Kenobi, but she knew he would not welcome it under these circumstances.
Seeing his master react in a manner he had never seen before brought Anakin to his senses. Realizing what he had done, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Master. I was out of line."
Obi-Wan did not move. He continued standing with his arms crossed over his chest, staring stone faced in the other direction. Anakin's guilt grew as everyone stood in silence.
The quiet tension was broken by another voice from across the room. "Jack?"
Turning to see his friend, Jack sighed with relief, calling out, "Daniel! Thank god."
With Padme standing next to him, Daniel asked, "So are we home?"
"I sure hope so," Jack answered.
Suddenly, loud music came over the speakers. The group looked around and saw that the movie screen was getting cloudy. A black haze swirled around and grew out of the screen to become a hazy, black fog. It was either an impressive special effect by the theater company, or they were in fact not home.
"Oh no...," O'Neill groaned, expressing everyone's dread.
Out of the haze, a man dressed in a black cape and an angular black helmet approached. He was a menacing figure whose breathing seemed to be amplified. As he stopped, he removed his helmet. His breathing now became normal and everyone could see that he was an ordinary man of around 50 years old.
"Luke Skywalker," Teal'c blurted out. He was very puzzled by this new turn of events.
The man in black became very irritated at that and exclaimed, "Look, the name is Mark Hamill. Yes, I played Luke Skywalker, but I've got bills, a lot of bills, to pay. So what if I'm doing this stupid promotion in a Darth Vader outfit for practically nothing? Could we please move on?"
Taken aback, Teal'c nodded his head and said, "My apologies."
Hamill continued with the message he had come to deliver, "Anyway, here's the deal folks. We're having technical difficulties with the Star Wars film. It may take awhile to work things out. The managers are giving you two options. You can either return to the lobby to get a refund on your tickets or you can stick around here. For those of you who stay, we're going to be playing some old movie trailers. Thanks for your cooperation." Without further ado, Hamill quickly proceeded to exit the theater.
SG-1 looked at each other and O'Neill gave the order, "Let's get out of here."
At that, they all headed for the exit Mark Hamill had just taken, not quite believing that the answer to their problems could be that easy. Their belief was confirmed when Teal'c pushed on the door handle, but it didn't open. He tried to pull on the door, but that yielded the same results. He then rammed the door with his shoulder, but it wouldn't budge.
"Check the other exits," O'Neill ordered and the other three each walked to the remaining doors. To their disappointment, they quickly found that none of them would open.
On the screen, the promised movie trailers had begun playing, but no one paid them any attention.
Padme approached Daniel and grasped his arm, whispering, "Daniel, what's going on? Where are we?"
He answered, "This is my world... I think." He took hold of her hand and turned to her. "Padme, I honestly don't know what's going on. None of us know. My friends and I were suddenly transported into your world while we were watching you on that." He pointed to the movie screen in front of them. "This is some type of... of... strange occurrence we can't figure out."
Padme picked up on the use of the word 'we,' and she suddenly looked upset. "Wait a minute," she exclaimed. "Just how many of you knew about this 'strange occurrence' before now?"
Daniel looked away guiltily as he answered, "Well... Umm... Everyone but you."
She became indignant at this, ripping her hand from his grasp and shouting loudly over the theatre's speakers, "I can't believe you would keep something like this from me."
Seeing an opportunity, Anakin quickly jumped in with, "That's right, Padme. He was hiding things from you. He's a bad guy. You can't trust him."
"Shut up, Anakin!" she quickly shot back.
Daniel placed his hands on Padme's shoulders. As he struggled to explain, the rest of SG-1 looked on in shock. Hoping to shed some light on this new situation, O'Neill questioned, "Daniel?"
Sounding very irritated and turning his head to his commanding officer, Daniel snapped, "Could you give me a minute, Jack?"
The Colonel raised his hands in front of him and turned his head in a gesture that seemed to say, 'Sorry, I thought I was in charge here.'
Daniel turned back to Padme and looked into her eyes, telling her, "I'm sorry. I... I just... I thought you would think I was crazy if I told you the truth." He reached up toward her forehead and ran his hand through her hair. "You have to admit, if you hadn't seen it yourself, you wouldn't have believed me."
Unable to stay angry while looking into Daniel's innocent eyes, Padme quickly gave in, "You're right." She smiled and hugged him, "I forgive you."
Exasperated by yet another display of affection instead of a major argument, Anakin shouted, "Son of a..."
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan quickly interrupted, giving him a scolding look.
"Would you two get a room," he whined as he walked to the far end of the theatre.
Suddenly, Daniel's attention was drawn away from the woman in front of him by the images on the screen. Egyptian pyramids appeared, followed by a group of people lifting a large, circular object. A voice carried out a narration, "... a mystery, a secret, a threshold to the future..."
Daniel let go of Padme. His jaw dropped, and he began walking slowly toward the screen. The other members of SG-1 followed Daniel's gaze. Jack's eyes grew wide as he too walked closer.
Short clips from the movie began to play. "One man will break the code and open the door. The other will lead the way," the narrator continued.
Daniel and Jack looked at each other, hoping that they were the only one seeing this. Judging from the other's expression, they realized that they were not. In disbelief, they turned their attention back to the images, which continued for several minutes.
The trailer went quiet and the word "Stargate" remained on the screen for what seemed to be a very long time. All of SG-1 were rendered speechless and continued staring.
Padme whispered to Obi-Wan, "Wow, people on this planet must really get into these things." Obi-Wan nodded in agreement.
Sam and Teal'c stood by knowing that they had just seen a summary of Jack and Daniel's first trip through the gate, but not knowing precisely how accurate it was.
Sam finally composed herself and stated, "That was about you."
"We realize this, Carter," Jack snapped.
Daniel was dumbfounded as he asked, "Jack, how do they know all that? That's not just what happened. That's exactly what happened. It's like they had a camera filming us. Only that's not me. And that's not you. And that wasn't Catherine. And that wasn't Sha're."
"But that was Skara and Kasuf, and that was most definitely Ra," O'Neill added. Almost every person they knew looked different in this on-screen representation, but for some reason, three of them were the same. Neither one of them knew what to make of it.
"Those scenes... I remember saying those things." Daniel looked to Jack for some kind of explanation. When none was forthcoming, he turned to the one person he knew he could rely on. "Sam?"
"I'm sorry, Daniel, but... I have no idea."
"It seems like we're not the only ones who are in a movie," Obi-Wan observed.
"If there was a movie, I sure as hell wasn't it in," O'Neill stated flatly.
"And neither was I," Daniel added.
After more thought, Sam chimed in, "Okay, we've seen this kind of thing happen before. We know that there are parallel realities. Maybe in one, the two of you are just a movie. In another, Star Wars is real life. Somehow we're all being transported around these parallel realities."
Hearing the word 'transport' reminded the Colonel of another science fiction program. "This is getting too Star Trek for me," he grumbled.
"It is in fact 'Stargate', O'Neill," Teal'c corrected, noting the movie title they had just seen.
Jack raised his hands toward Teal'c as though he were about to strangle him. "I'm not in the mood, Teal'c."
The Jaffa merely raised an eyebrow at him.
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: The appearance of Mark Hamill in this story was done in jest and was not intended to insult Mr. Hamill. The reference to him needing money is making light of the fact that people think he has done no work since Star Wars, when he has in fact had a successful voiceover career which (from interviews he's given) he is very happy with.)
