Chap 11
Authors note: Hello everybody!! Eek, These chaps seem to be going down hill. not good. And I'm getting the distinct impression that nobody is reading it or are reading it and hate it!! Eep. Thanks anyway to the people that do review. *lots and lots of huggles!!* Oh and I was feeling creative once again so I wrote another poem. Don't know if that's a good thing or not :S Let me no!
Here goes.
// *~* Darkness shoots through my skin
I cannot let this devil win
Thick and red it runs away
Please, let them find another way
I cannot leave you just like this
Everything was as you wish
For once I knew where I stood
Next to you, where no-one could
Ever hurt you for I am there
Even if my heart does tear
As I live the memory of the past
Memories that should not have last
But maybe it's good that you don't know
What happened would bring you so much woe
I must continue gasping for life
So you can have a go at twisting the knife
Do not let me leave this world
Battered, bruised I lie here curled
But whatever you do just don't let me go
There is so much more you need to know
Words I have not uttered yet
I am already trapped in that net
Of loving you
If only you knew. *~* //
*~*
Blood running everywhere.
Thick and red flowing across the green grass as desperately I cry out for help.
But even I know no one can hear me, no one can help me.
Yet somehow deep inside I have to help him. I can't let him leave this way. Especially when there is so much more I need to say, do.
And so I pull out my cell and call the first person I think of.
Xander.
******
"Do you think he is going to be ok?" Willow asks me, her tones quiet yet demanding.
"Well he is part demon, I'm sure he'll heal pretty fast right?" I look at Giles and search for answers in his expressionless face.
"Well technically yes, but he needs to be in a hospital."
"I can't take him to a hospital!! How the hell am I supposed to explain to the doctors if anything weird shows up?"
"Good point."
I hang my head in defeat.
"Well we have to get some supplies." Willow suddenly pipes up.
"Yeah, some bandages and stuff." Dawn appears in the doorway after I sent her to her room so she could not see the bad state Spike is in.
I guess she crept up on us.
I take another look at Spike; his pale features look old and tired. At least the bleeding has stopped. It's just the damage inside that worries me.
I look at my hand next to his and slide my fingers over to his wrist and feel his pulse once more. It is there although weak.
Don't give up on me now.
The touch of his skin on mine is heaven. To think that I may not be able to see let alone touch this skin again if he does not survive causes a sob to catch in my throat.
Pull yourself together Buffy, you hardly know him.
The room falls silent and I watch the figures of my friends move around me in slow motion, everything becoming blurred except the figure that lies on my bed.
What have I done?
Guilt wracks my body as I stare at your lifeless form.
You were given a second chance in the sun, and now I might have taken that away from you.
"Please" I mutter quietly, aimlessly praying.
Silently the tears begin to fall.
******
"What's wrong with her? She hardly knows the man." Xander whispers harshly to Willow in the kitchen.
"I don't know Xand, but we have to let her be. She blames herself."
"Will, it's been four days! She has hardly left his side, hardly eaten. It's his own fault he got chopped up by another demon!"
"We just have to be here to support her. And hope that Spike wakes up."
Xander shrugs his shoulders and folds his arms in front of his chest. "So in the mean time we're left to do all the dirty work."
"XAND!" Willow bats him on the shoulder lightly.
******
I'm curled up now, in a chair beside him, watching as he draws ragged breaths.
Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up.
Before I realise what I am doing, I'm reaching over and taking Spike's hand in mine.
"Wake up Spike, please wake up. You can't die, you just can't. You see when I first saw you I realised something, I realised that there is more to my life than patrol and caring for my sister. There's you. See you can't die Spike, because. I think I'm falling in love with you."
******
Bloody fucking hell.
Searing pain shoots through my veins and my body feels heavy, so damn heavy. I can't open my eyes and no matter how hard I shout, no sound seems to be leaving my mouth.
I can hear a voice though.
Very quietly I can hear a female voice, uttering words to me, comforting me. My body relaxes and I try to hear who it is, what they are saying.
"Wake up.."
I'm bloody trying luv, but without much success.
"Please wake up.."
And you think please is going to help the situation? I bloody can't.
There are more words but I can't make them out.
"..You can't die."
Well clearly I'm not dead, I'm here.
Hang on a mo; if I can't speak, and I can't move, maybe I am dead?
Shit.
Panic enters my system. That bloody wanker telling me that I should return to Buffy, but when I soddin' do I end up fucking dead!
I struggle with myself now. Urging my body to wake up, urging something to move, something to indicate that yes I am actually alive.
And then I catch her last words.
"Falling in love with you."
WHAT THE FUCK??
I really am dead. Bloody hallucinating and everything.
******
And so the tears fall, making endless journeys down my cheeks like little rivers making their never ending journey to the sea.
My hand grips his tighter and I lay my head on the edge of the bed, too tired to go on. Too tired of the pain and guilt.
Spike takes a deeper breath.
I lay still and shut my eyes, why does it always happen to me?
Suddenly I feel the faintest squeeze of my hand.
I bolt up right in shock. Did he just squeeze my hand? Did Spike just squeeze my hand?
I look at his face and he still remains expressionless, his features void of emotion and the same as it has been for the past 4 days.
Just my imagination then.
Wait. Was that another squeeze?
I look down at our hands and his knuckles have turned the faintest shade of white as he clearly holds my hand back.
WOOHOO!!
"Spike?" I whisper, scared that this all might be a dream and that at any given moment it will all fade away and leave me with a still unconscious Spike.
"Buffy?" A mumbled answer replies.
"Oh my god your awake. I can't believe it. Your alive!"
I see those piecing blue eyes and feel my heart skip a beat.
Then suddenly I realise
Did he hear what I just said? Did he hear me admit my love?
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
Authors note: Hello everybody!! Eek, These chaps seem to be going down hill. not good. And I'm getting the distinct impression that nobody is reading it or are reading it and hate it!! Eep. Thanks anyway to the people that do review. *lots and lots of huggles!!* Oh and I was feeling creative once again so I wrote another poem. Don't know if that's a good thing or not :S Let me no!
Here goes.
// *~* Darkness shoots through my skin
I cannot let this devil win
Thick and red it runs away
Please, let them find another way
I cannot leave you just like this
Everything was as you wish
For once I knew where I stood
Next to you, where no-one could
Ever hurt you for I am there
Even if my heart does tear
As I live the memory of the past
Memories that should not have last
But maybe it's good that you don't know
What happened would bring you so much woe
I must continue gasping for life
So you can have a go at twisting the knife
Do not let me leave this world
Battered, bruised I lie here curled
But whatever you do just don't let me go
There is so much more you need to know
Words I have not uttered yet
I am already trapped in that net
Of loving you
If only you knew. *~* //
*~*
Blood running everywhere.
Thick and red flowing across the green grass as desperately I cry out for help.
But even I know no one can hear me, no one can help me.
Yet somehow deep inside I have to help him. I can't let him leave this way. Especially when there is so much more I need to say, do.
And so I pull out my cell and call the first person I think of.
Xander.
******
"Do you think he is going to be ok?" Willow asks me, her tones quiet yet demanding.
"Well he is part demon, I'm sure he'll heal pretty fast right?" I look at Giles and search for answers in his expressionless face.
"Well technically yes, but he needs to be in a hospital."
"I can't take him to a hospital!! How the hell am I supposed to explain to the doctors if anything weird shows up?"
"Good point."
I hang my head in defeat.
"Well we have to get some supplies." Willow suddenly pipes up.
"Yeah, some bandages and stuff." Dawn appears in the doorway after I sent her to her room so she could not see the bad state Spike is in.
I guess she crept up on us.
I take another look at Spike; his pale features look old and tired. At least the bleeding has stopped. It's just the damage inside that worries me.
I look at my hand next to his and slide my fingers over to his wrist and feel his pulse once more. It is there although weak.
Don't give up on me now.
The touch of his skin on mine is heaven. To think that I may not be able to see let alone touch this skin again if he does not survive causes a sob to catch in my throat.
Pull yourself together Buffy, you hardly know him.
The room falls silent and I watch the figures of my friends move around me in slow motion, everything becoming blurred except the figure that lies on my bed.
What have I done?
Guilt wracks my body as I stare at your lifeless form.
You were given a second chance in the sun, and now I might have taken that away from you.
"Please" I mutter quietly, aimlessly praying.
Silently the tears begin to fall.
******
"What's wrong with her? She hardly knows the man." Xander whispers harshly to Willow in the kitchen.
"I don't know Xand, but we have to let her be. She blames herself."
"Will, it's been four days! She has hardly left his side, hardly eaten. It's his own fault he got chopped up by another demon!"
"We just have to be here to support her. And hope that Spike wakes up."
Xander shrugs his shoulders and folds his arms in front of his chest. "So in the mean time we're left to do all the dirty work."
"XAND!" Willow bats him on the shoulder lightly.
******
I'm curled up now, in a chair beside him, watching as he draws ragged breaths.
Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up.
Before I realise what I am doing, I'm reaching over and taking Spike's hand in mine.
"Wake up Spike, please wake up. You can't die, you just can't. You see when I first saw you I realised something, I realised that there is more to my life than patrol and caring for my sister. There's you. See you can't die Spike, because. I think I'm falling in love with you."
******
Bloody fucking hell.
Searing pain shoots through my veins and my body feels heavy, so damn heavy. I can't open my eyes and no matter how hard I shout, no sound seems to be leaving my mouth.
I can hear a voice though.
Very quietly I can hear a female voice, uttering words to me, comforting me. My body relaxes and I try to hear who it is, what they are saying.
"Wake up.."
I'm bloody trying luv, but without much success.
"Please wake up.."
And you think please is going to help the situation? I bloody can't.
There are more words but I can't make them out.
"..You can't die."
Well clearly I'm not dead, I'm here.
Hang on a mo; if I can't speak, and I can't move, maybe I am dead?
Shit.
Panic enters my system. That bloody wanker telling me that I should return to Buffy, but when I soddin' do I end up fucking dead!
I struggle with myself now. Urging my body to wake up, urging something to move, something to indicate that yes I am actually alive.
And then I catch her last words.
"Falling in love with you."
WHAT THE FUCK??
I really am dead. Bloody hallucinating and everything.
******
And so the tears fall, making endless journeys down my cheeks like little rivers making their never ending journey to the sea.
My hand grips his tighter and I lay my head on the edge of the bed, too tired to go on. Too tired of the pain and guilt.
Spike takes a deeper breath.
I lay still and shut my eyes, why does it always happen to me?
Suddenly I feel the faintest squeeze of my hand.
I bolt up right in shock. Did he just squeeze my hand? Did Spike just squeeze my hand?
I look at his face and he still remains expressionless, his features void of emotion and the same as it has been for the past 4 days.
Just my imagination then.
Wait. Was that another squeeze?
I look down at our hands and his knuckles have turned the faintest shade of white as he clearly holds my hand back.
WOOHOO!!
"Spike?" I whisper, scared that this all might be a dream and that at any given moment it will all fade away and leave me with a still unconscious Spike.
"Buffy?" A mumbled answer replies.
"Oh my god your awake. I can't believe it. Your alive!"
I see those piecing blue eyes and feel my heart skip a beat.
Then suddenly I realise
Did he hear what I just said? Did he hear me admit my love?
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
