Authors note: This chap is completely dedicated to Spikes solace.. Actually
I take that back. This WHOLE fic is dedicated to Spikes solace. Without
you, have of this wouldn't have been written for the inspiration you give
me to continue is phenomenal!! Thank you loads!!!!! Also theres a bit of
B/A chucked in this chap sorry folks!! But your going to have to deal with
it for a bit, but I promise it wont stay like it!!!
Anyways back to the fic..
Here goes.
Chap 20
I freeze. Brown eyes meet mine and guilt racks my body. Shit. This is defiantly not of the good.
Defiant and powerful as he always is, he holds his head up high and refuses to let my eyes avoid his.
There's a deep rumble of a growl and I know its him, I know that sound like I know my own voice. I try to plead with him with my eyes, I know what his next move it will be, I can see it burning brightly in his eyes.
Jealousy.
Within moments he strides towards where Spike is stood, his hands curled into fists at his side.
"What are you doing?" His voice is low and menacing, so glad I am not Spike right now.
Spike doesn't answer just smirks back and swaggers closer to his enemy.
"What did it look like I was doing peaches?" Let the pissing contest commence.
As much as I want to see Angel and Spike battle it out together, I decide to step in.
"Angel." My hand comes up and touches the top of his arm, feeling his flexed muscle beneath. Woah.
He turns towards me, taking a deep unnecessary breath, shutting his eyes for just a moment composing himself.
"Buffy." He sighs and draws out the word painstakingly slow.
"Well I'm glad that's been established. Congratulations you both still know each others names!" Spike gives a woohoo from just behind Angel.
"I'd shut it if I were you Spikey." Angel calls out without turning.
"How are you?" I ask, trying to divert the subject.
"Fine and yourself?" He asks through gritted teeth and I know he wants to know more about the situation he walked in on.
"I'm surprisingly good." I smile up and watch as the anger in his chocolate eyes melt slightly.
"Oh and Spike, how are you? Well I'm doing bloody great mate, thanks for asking." Spike starts to mutter from behind Angel and by watching the flash of pure hatred that crosses Angel's face I quickly intervene before one of them ends up in dust.
"Spike, could you leave me with Angel for a while?" Instantly his beautiful blue eyes turn to cold steel as he looks back at me, obviously weary about what will happen if I am left alone with my past lover.
"Whatever Slayer" He glares once more at me and waves an arm in defeat in my direction before stalking off into the night.
******
Bloody poof, just wading in at the wrong moment as per-fucking-usual. I was friggin' inches away from a kiss, bloody hell!!!
I kick a tree that I pass in pure anger and instantly regret it as pain shoots through my toe and up my leg. Growling at the obvious pain, I continue my walk, wishing I hadn't given in to instinct. Why the fuck did I think I could kiss her anyway? As soon as our lips would have met I bet she would have punched my lights out.
And how dare he, just come waltzing in all "Hi Buffy look at my poofy hair" Fucking wanker.
Oh and I wander what they are doing now? Two star-crossed lovers that despite everything loved each other more than the world but could not be together.
Bet their bloody shagging.
******
We've walked in silence for what seems like eternity, neither of us wishing to talk, taking comfort in each other's company
"I knew you were back." I mutter, breaking the heavy silence that surrounds us.
"I knew you would." He smiles that familiar smile.
"I always know Angel, I always have. It's weird, like when you're just a little bit nearer to me I can feel you, inside." I smile back. I still love him, I know I do.
"So how have things been?" He asks quietly, his head dipping slightly so he can see my face better.
"Fine, demon here, demon there, new job, Dawns great, the gang are great, and everything seems ok." I know he really wanted to know about Spike, but I'm playing innocent. I really don't want to bring that topic up because as soon as I start speaking I know he'll figure out I'm lying.
"Buffy, you know that's not what I meant. Is Spike your boyfriend?" I bloody wish.
Fuck I sound like him.
"Uh no." I answer way to quickly, which causes a frown to appear on his brow.
"So what was that back there?" He signals over his shoulder and I can feel the anger rebuilding inside that calm exterior.
"That was nothing."
"Didn't seem like nothing to me." He scoffs with a slight laugh.
"Well it was nothing." I'm getting defensive, letting my guard down.
"But you like him don't you." He asks at a vulnerable moment.
"Yes." It slips out before I can stop myself.
Angel grows quiet and I let him walk beside me for a while, obvious his head is deeply in turmoil.
"I mean Spike! Of all the people in the entire world you choose Spike!! When I said I wanted you to live a normal life the last thing I expected was for you to end up with my fucking Childe, who just so happens to be human now!"
I stare back at him not quite sure what to say and allow him to continue, watching as the anger that was just building, slowly starts to fade once more.
"Buffy, you sure you want this with Spike?" He stops walking and takes a seat at a nearby bench.
"Yes Angel, more than anything I want this. He has changed since you last knew him. For Christ's sake he is human now, a good man - "
"Something I'll never be." He brings is eyes up to me and I see the hurt deeply embedded inside.
"But you are Angel, you are such a good man." I sit beside him, a hand placed on his knee.
"Vampire Buffy, vampire. I can never be what you want me to be. I wish I could but I can't. At least you have Spike, I wanted you to have a normal life and I suppose that is what you have now. A normal life with a normal guy. Even though you left my side all those years ago, I still felt like you were mine, mine forever. I think this is now the last step. Now I really do have to let you go."
"Oh Angel." Tears form in my eyes as I realise how true he is. It is the end.
"I love you Buffy, I always will." His voice is quiet and subdued.
"And I love you." I whisper it back and instantly feel myself enveloped in a hug.
"I will always be here for you baby, remember that." He plants a kiss on my forehead and I feel more tears start to roll down my cheek.
And before I can stop myself I find my lips on his, in a momentary last kiss, a kiss I know I will never feel again from the love of my life. It ends before it really starts and his forehead meets mine as we take a moment to stare into one another's eyes.
"Goodbye Buffy."
******
Little fucker. I start running towards them as soon as I see the end of their kiss. I knew it. I knew this would happen.
By the time I reach the grass clearing I'm growling and am powered by my anger, as adrenaline kicks in and I start running faster than I can ever imagine.
Furiously I roar as I reach Angel, grabbing him from the bench and tossing him towards the grass.
"SPIKE!" The slayer cries out at me and grabs hold of my coat.
"Not now Buffy!" this is one fight with the sire that I am not going to lose.
"No Spike, what have you done to your face?" I look back at her quizzically, seeing her expression of pure horror and shock.
"What?" All anger slows as I reach my hand up to my face and feel the worst thing in the world.
Bumps. Bumps of a vampire visage and fangs of a beast.
SHIT.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
Anyways back to the fic..
Here goes.
Chap 20
I freeze. Brown eyes meet mine and guilt racks my body. Shit. This is defiantly not of the good.
Defiant and powerful as he always is, he holds his head up high and refuses to let my eyes avoid his.
There's a deep rumble of a growl and I know its him, I know that sound like I know my own voice. I try to plead with him with my eyes, I know what his next move it will be, I can see it burning brightly in his eyes.
Jealousy.
Within moments he strides towards where Spike is stood, his hands curled into fists at his side.
"What are you doing?" His voice is low and menacing, so glad I am not Spike right now.
Spike doesn't answer just smirks back and swaggers closer to his enemy.
"What did it look like I was doing peaches?" Let the pissing contest commence.
As much as I want to see Angel and Spike battle it out together, I decide to step in.
"Angel." My hand comes up and touches the top of his arm, feeling his flexed muscle beneath. Woah.
He turns towards me, taking a deep unnecessary breath, shutting his eyes for just a moment composing himself.
"Buffy." He sighs and draws out the word painstakingly slow.
"Well I'm glad that's been established. Congratulations you both still know each others names!" Spike gives a woohoo from just behind Angel.
"I'd shut it if I were you Spikey." Angel calls out without turning.
"How are you?" I ask, trying to divert the subject.
"Fine and yourself?" He asks through gritted teeth and I know he wants to know more about the situation he walked in on.
"I'm surprisingly good." I smile up and watch as the anger in his chocolate eyes melt slightly.
"Oh and Spike, how are you? Well I'm doing bloody great mate, thanks for asking." Spike starts to mutter from behind Angel and by watching the flash of pure hatred that crosses Angel's face I quickly intervene before one of them ends up in dust.
"Spike, could you leave me with Angel for a while?" Instantly his beautiful blue eyes turn to cold steel as he looks back at me, obviously weary about what will happen if I am left alone with my past lover.
"Whatever Slayer" He glares once more at me and waves an arm in defeat in my direction before stalking off into the night.
******
Bloody poof, just wading in at the wrong moment as per-fucking-usual. I was friggin' inches away from a kiss, bloody hell!!!
I kick a tree that I pass in pure anger and instantly regret it as pain shoots through my toe and up my leg. Growling at the obvious pain, I continue my walk, wishing I hadn't given in to instinct. Why the fuck did I think I could kiss her anyway? As soon as our lips would have met I bet she would have punched my lights out.
And how dare he, just come waltzing in all "Hi Buffy look at my poofy hair" Fucking wanker.
Oh and I wander what they are doing now? Two star-crossed lovers that despite everything loved each other more than the world but could not be together.
Bet their bloody shagging.
******
We've walked in silence for what seems like eternity, neither of us wishing to talk, taking comfort in each other's company
"I knew you were back." I mutter, breaking the heavy silence that surrounds us.
"I knew you would." He smiles that familiar smile.
"I always know Angel, I always have. It's weird, like when you're just a little bit nearer to me I can feel you, inside." I smile back. I still love him, I know I do.
"So how have things been?" He asks quietly, his head dipping slightly so he can see my face better.
"Fine, demon here, demon there, new job, Dawns great, the gang are great, and everything seems ok." I know he really wanted to know about Spike, but I'm playing innocent. I really don't want to bring that topic up because as soon as I start speaking I know he'll figure out I'm lying.
"Buffy, you know that's not what I meant. Is Spike your boyfriend?" I bloody wish.
Fuck I sound like him.
"Uh no." I answer way to quickly, which causes a frown to appear on his brow.
"So what was that back there?" He signals over his shoulder and I can feel the anger rebuilding inside that calm exterior.
"That was nothing."
"Didn't seem like nothing to me." He scoffs with a slight laugh.
"Well it was nothing." I'm getting defensive, letting my guard down.
"But you like him don't you." He asks at a vulnerable moment.
"Yes." It slips out before I can stop myself.
Angel grows quiet and I let him walk beside me for a while, obvious his head is deeply in turmoil.
"I mean Spike! Of all the people in the entire world you choose Spike!! When I said I wanted you to live a normal life the last thing I expected was for you to end up with my fucking Childe, who just so happens to be human now!"
I stare back at him not quite sure what to say and allow him to continue, watching as the anger that was just building, slowly starts to fade once more.
"Buffy, you sure you want this with Spike?" He stops walking and takes a seat at a nearby bench.
"Yes Angel, more than anything I want this. He has changed since you last knew him. For Christ's sake he is human now, a good man - "
"Something I'll never be." He brings is eyes up to me and I see the hurt deeply embedded inside.
"But you are Angel, you are such a good man." I sit beside him, a hand placed on his knee.
"Vampire Buffy, vampire. I can never be what you want me to be. I wish I could but I can't. At least you have Spike, I wanted you to have a normal life and I suppose that is what you have now. A normal life with a normal guy. Even though you left my side all those years ago, I still felt like you were mine, mine forever. I think this is now the last step. Now I really do have to let you go."
"Oh Angel." Tears form in my eyes as I realise how true he is. It is the end.
"I love you Buffy, I always will." His voice is quiet and subdued.
"And I love you." I whisper it back and instantly feel myself enveloped in a hug.
"I will always be here for you baby, remember that." He plants a kiss on my forehead and I feel more tears start to roll down my cheek.
And before I can stop myself I find my lips on his, in a momentary last kiss, a kiss I know I will never feel again from the love of my life. It ends before it really starts and his forehead meets mine as we take a moment to stare into one another's eyes.
"Goodbye Buffy."
******
Little fucker. I start running towards them as soon as I see the end of their kiss. I knew it. I knew this would happen.
By the time I reach the grass clearing I'm growling and am powered by my anger, as adrenaline kicks in and I start running faster than I can ever imagine.
Furiously I roar as I reach Angel, grabbing him from the bench and tossing him towards the grass.
"SPIKE!" The slayer cries out at me and grabs hold of my coat.
"Not now Buffy!" this is one fight with the sire that I am not going to lose.
"No Spike, what have you done to your face?" I look back at her quizzically, seeing her expression of pure horror and shock.
"What?" All anger slows as I reach my hand up to my face and feel the worst thing in the world.
Bumps. Bumps of a vampire visage and fangs of a beast.
SHIT.
*~* Please read and review!!!! *~*
