Written by: Rynn Abhorsen Rating: PG-13 Genre: Angst/Romance Pairing: Mild Spike/Faye Summary: Post Episode 26: As Spike lay dying; he was visited by an angel. But it wasn't who you'd expect.
Tears of a Fallen Angel

Splatter.

Flash of red,

Tearing pain,

Cold cement.

Shattering.

God, I knew it would end like this.

I roll over, hands scrabbling on the ground, trying to pull myself up.

It's pointless.

I know it.

What is there to live for anymore?

Vicious killed Julia, I killed Vicious, and Vicious killed me.

I'm dying.

My one good eye focuses on the stream of blood flowing out from my side, my head hits the pavement and I watch the crimson river with interest.

Drops of rain.

Cold, wet, it reminds me of Ein.

Don't think about him, about them.

The rain dilutes the blood, thinning it, turning it pink. A drop of rain runs into my slightly open mouth, I savor the taste, gunpowder, rain, blood, and tears. My own tears.

Why do you cry?

I don't want to think about it. I roll onto my stomach, ignoring the ripping sound, the pain that's spreading throughout my body. What I wouldn't give for a cigarette right now...

Smiling, I close my eyes, drinking the rain.

When I open them again, I can't see, it's too dark.

A few stars peer out from underneath roiling clouds, I focus on them, watching them dance like pinpricks before my eyes.

What's that?

The clouds part, golden beams of sunlight spangling the gray world with light. A gentle song reaches my ear, the haunting wordless melody; a song I've wanted to hear for my whole life. Suddenly dying doesn't bother me much anymore, I just want to watch the sky.

Angels float down, hands stretched wide. I would reach for them, but I can't, my arms won't move. This upsets me, I try again.

The angels, they look like Julia, blue eyes, cascading waves of blonde hair, they look exactly like angels should. Suddenly the angels rear back, disgust on their faces. Turning their wings on me, they fly back up into the beautiful sky.

No, don't go.

I reach out in vain, please, take me with you...

I drop my hand, and let my body relax into the pavement, listening to the dull beat of my heart in my ears. My eyes open wide as I feel slender arms encircle me, hands soothingly stroking my hair. The humming gets louder, breaking my own heartbeat with gentle notes. The rain...it's stopping.

Another angel appears before my eyes, but it's not the pure ones I saw before, this one has bloody wings, her white robes are stained red, and a spattering of blood mars her perfect skin. Faultless blue eyes replaced by blinding orbs of emerald, golden tresses taken away, and in their place shorn violet locks. This angel is no angel at all, it's-

"Faye?"

The angel nods, a small sob in her voice when she whispers, "yeah."

"What...what are you doing here?"

She smiles, but it's desperately sad. I don't want her to be sad, it makes me feel guilty. She looks around cautiously and replies, "Lunkhead, do you think I'd leave you here?"

It hurts me to think it, but no, she wouldn't. She'd travel to the ends of the galaxy just to make sure I was ok, and I wouldn't even move off the couch. Stupid Lunkhead. Her arms pull me up, my head's lying in her lap. I smile and ask, "Where's Jet?"

She looks away, and then turns back. "He's fine," she says.

Liar. I would call her on it, demand to know the truth, but now I don't, I just watch her face.

A few drops of rain drip off her hair, they fall on my features, cold. It's starting to rain harder, drops of water trickle off the end of her nose and her chin, plus the tears that are streaming from her eyes. I want to make the tears stop.

"Don't cry."

She looks down on me, shock on her fixed features. "What?"

I cough for a moment, her eyes widen as a trickle of blood appears on the corner of my mouth. She wipes it away with one perfectly manicured finger, when her hand moves I say, "You shouldn't cry, it'll ruin your good looks."

She smiles and whispers, "Let's get out of here."

She gently sets me down on the concrete and stands. Surveying my broken body she says harshly, "Where are you hurt?"

Now there's the Faye I know, I reply, "Well I was shot in the stomach, and my leg's pretty beat up too."

"Ok." She pushes a few wet strands of violet hair out of her eyes and crouches down. Gently sliding her hands under my arms and knees she hoists me up, bridal style. I imagine it must be a pretty funny spectacle, her holding me. She begins to walk, staggering a bit.

Time passes, I try to ignore the fiery burn in my body. After maybe fifteen minutes, my vision darkens. I don't speak; don't want to make her acknowledge the fact that I'm dying. Ten more, my heartbeat's slowed to a slow thump, I don't worry.

"Faye?" I speak up. She doesn't answer, just keeps plodding along. I have to tell her, or else she'll just be carrying a corpse. I speak louder this time, "Faye."

Emerald eyes flick down towards me, she says, "yeah?"

I grasp her wrist, the arm that's supporting my legs. And as much as I don't want to say it, I do, "It's hopeless."

Angry tears well up in her eyes, hesitating at the crest of her cheek, before falling onto me, mimicking the rain that covers us both. In desperation she says, "Don't say that! We'll get you home..."

A soft whisper as I say, "Faye, it's hopeless."

She sighs and looks up, rain dripping down her face, down her neck, soaking her clothes, soaking me. Then she falls to her knees, bone meeting pavement with a hollow thud. She cradles me to her chest like a child before letting me slip to the ground. She looks down on me, so much pity, so much sorrow, and an innocence I can't begin to understand.

She arranges me in a more comfortable position, legs straight out, arms at my side, my Jericho pressed to my palm. Then she whispers, "If you won't let me save you, will you let me stay with you for a while?"

I smile and reply, "If you're asking."

She curls up beside me, hand splayed against my side, she's cold.

"I'll miss you Cowboy," she says, "And I'll miss the part of me that dies with you."

I smile, and feel her hands run over my face once, wiping away the rain, even as her flowing tears fall behind me, bathing me in the angel's sorrow.

And you know what's strange?

I wouldn't have it any other way.