Summary: Harry blames Sirius's death on Kreacher the house elf. He has a week to avenge Sirius and kill the house elf. An epic story of Harry and his attempt mission to kill a house elf.


Disclaimer: rigggght like this story is mine....moron's...



A/N: This chap. Is dedicated to my reviewers: Alicandra Black, hawk82, and chuya. I know I haven't updated my Rebellion fic...but see I went on this weird spree where I had to make every thing funny...so I'm filtering all my needs to make romantic moments turn into hobo's telling people to get the hell off there lawns...yes I know that was random but just forget u read that...so this is for u guys...thanks a lot for reviewing...I'm starting to write the next chap. for Rebellion by the way. Oh yeah and if you have not read the 5th harry potter book DO NOT READ THIS FIC!!!...it will spoil it for you.


To Kill a House Elf: Chapter one: Planing

Harry tore up the note he had just received from Dubledore. "...since you were closest to Sirius we have come to the conclusion of you being his sole successor and leave you all of his possessions. You will find them at number twelve Grimmauld place...which is also left to you-"There lie the silver skeleton key, sparkling in the sun upon harry's worn, wood wardrobe. Though this was good news he still couldn't bear the pain of the memories of Sirius. Harry wiped his eyes and pulled a crumpled piece of parchment from out of his back pocket.


Hit list

1. Martha Stewart
2. Kreacher
3. The Weird Sisters
4. George
5. Petter Petigrew
6. Crookshanks
7. That guy that always stares at me at the three broom sticks
8. Luna

Harry picked up his brass quill and underlined number 2. Kreacher. Kreacher the house elf was responsible for Sirius's death in Harry's opinion. Kreacher was the one who fed the Malfoy's and Voldermort information. Kreacher was the one who lied to Harry about Sirius and the department of mysteries. Not to mention that annoying muttering. It was all that wretched house elves fault for Sirius's death....And now he was going to pay.

Harry jumped on his bed and sprawled across the sheets, lying in the sun. After a good deal of time he picked up a fresh piece of parchment. He chose his words carefully and explained in his letter to Dumbledore that he wanted to stay at Grimmauld place for just a week to pay his respects to Sirius. Praying his plan would work he beckoned Hedwig over. Petting her he attached the letter to her leg. He gave her directions and Hedwig fluttered off into the mist of the sunset.


***
The next morning Hedwig came back with a reply. Harry greeted the owl and snatched the letter up.

Dear Harry, All though I do not like the idea I can not bring myself to say no. Sirius's disappearance is a devastating situation to us all. I will allow you to stay at grimace place for only a week and I shall have some one check upon you occasionally for your safety.

Best wishes,
Professor Dumbladore


Harry gave a dark grin and folded the letter up. He turned around and began to pack.. He had a new mission for the next week. Killing the house elf that deceived him.

***
Harry stepped off the night bus in London and walked on the side walk.
hmmmm...I wonder how I should kill Kreacher? I want it to look like an accident...Harry plotted.

He reached the vacant space in between numbers eleven and thirteen. Sure enough a door came emerging out of the ground and formed a house. Cautiously, Harry creaked the door open. He snuck in and locked the door behind him.

gotta take that elf by surprise... He looked around curiously. The house was still fairly dirty and gloomier than ever. Harry slung his trunk to a corner and tip toed into the hallway. Alert he kept his eyes pealed for Kreatcher.

best get this over first thing....there's no way in hell im gonna stay with a perverted house elf who creeps the shit out of me.. Harry thought. He stopped in his tracks. Around the corner there was a short gloomy figure. Slowly harry creped up.

better make this look like an accident...ok I tripped, fell and squashed him...a little ruff but its gold Harry smirked.

He leapt in the air arms wide and came crashing onto the figure. The rotting wood beneath him gave out and the floor crumbled. Sending harry crashing onto the floor below. The dust cleared and harry groaned. He had jumped the umbrella stand which was now awkwardly sticking in his side.

"Dammit!" he yelled. He pulled himself up, moving the debris off of him and dusted off the soot. He rubbed his head and wiped his glasses. "Where the hell am I?" he thought out loud. Apparently it seemed to be a secret room. As Harry got a closer look of his surroundings he noticed there were pictures pasted all over the walls. Forming a gigantic collage. Magazines littered the floor. Harry took a step closer to see what the pictures were of. House elves. Girl house elves. Harry felt himself become I'll. Tons and tons of them! oh my god, look at that magazine! Awe man im gonna be sick...and they wander what he was doing all those years alone...EWW EWWW!Harry thought.

A voice behind him startled Harry and he jumped around shocked. "Professor!" he said dumbstruck. Professor Dumbledore looked at his surroundings and then back to Harry. He raised an eyebrow and stared at Harry threw his half moon spectacles. "...its not what it looks like!...I can explain! Rambled harry.


A/N: well im glad I got that out of my system for a little bit...thou im having a lot of crazy ideas for this fic...anywho please R&R ^.^ P.S. Html's are a pain in the ass...