I'm back! I did not know exactly how to continue this story and I wrote
something in the mathmatics tutoring lesson at school^^ (damn it! My
teacher almost got me!), but I didn't like it that much, so I thought over
it a few times, and now I know exactly how this story will go on... :)
Chapter 3: Decisions to be made
Later that evening, I hardly found sleep. Was it really that obvious that I liked Dory? Even Nemo said that, but he had only told me what his friends had told him and he was not the kind of kid who used to lie. Finally I decided that it was time to overthink some of my opinions, but before I could think further I fell asleep.
Early the next morning I stood up, woke Nemo and we went to school. Nemo swam immediately up to Mr. Ray and his friends and I stood there, talking to the other parents and wondered why Dory wasn't around. I had been looking forwards to meet her.
"Hi Dude!" I suddenly heard a voice behind me and turned around. It was Crush. "Where's the cute little companion of yours?"
"Oh, you mean Dory... To be true, I don't even know."
"So it is not because of yesterday?" he asked carefully, as if he might be about to say something that could hurt or annoy me.
"Yesterday...?" I hardly tried to remember what Crush was talking about and had to admit to myself that his words confused me.
He nodded. "Uh, well... I've heard you two had a little... quarrel."
Suddenly I got the hint and immediately began to tell him things I wasn't even sure myself that I meant it. "No! No, we surely hadn't. It's just that... Well, we had a little discussion about... feelings. That's all."
"Seems to me that there's much more on your mind than you want to tell me. Believe me, others have had this problems as well and most of them survived it. Being in love is not always as easy as you young people imagine." He smiled slightly and though I tried not to show it, I inwards almost hit the roof. Even he thought that...!
I sighed heavily. "Okay. First of all: We have not been quarreling. Second: We are not in love."
"Well, I don't know how Dory thinks about that point, but I am pretty sure that you are in love and that you didn't even notice yourself. Come on, Dude, what are you afraid of? What have you got to loose?"
I turned away, not knowing if I would be able to look him into the eye when I slowly spoke the two short sentences. "Another female I love. That's what I've got to loose." Embarrassing silence filled the air. "I lost my wife when Nemo was very young. I don't know if I'm ready to risk that again."
"What kind of risk are you talking about?" he asked bluntly. "The risk of loosing Dory or the risk of forgetting your wife? Is that the thing you're afraid of?"
I went over his last sentence in my mind once again, then a second and a third time. And at the fourth time, I noticed he was right. I nodded. "That might be the point."
"But you won't forget her! She lives on in your son."
"Right." I had never seen it this way before, but now it seemed as clear as the water that was all around us.
"Okay." He took a deep breath. "Let's come to the point. Just answer this question: Are you in love with Dory?"
I took a moment to think about it, not knowing how to define love, not knowing what to answer.
"Oh, come on, Dude, it can't be that hard! Just think about what you feel when you see her, when you're talking to her, when she touches you..."
I closed my eyes and I thought about it, I did not know how long, maybe it were only minutes, but to me it seemed like hours. I thought about all the moments, about our journey to Sydney, about all the fun we had, all the laughter, about the butterflies in my stomach... "Yes." I heard myself whispering.
"What do you mean by yes?" Immediately I opened my eyes and looked up. Crush was gone. The person who stood in front of me was... Dory. "I'm sorry for being late." She muttered. "But I'm not going to stay, I just came to say that..."
"Dory! I think there's something we should talk about!"
"But I don't think so. I guess you told me quite well what your opinion is. Yesterday, remember?"
"Dory, I..."
"STOP! Marlin, whatever you're about to say, I don't wanna hear it! You understand? I don't know if I'm asking that much of you, but please... Just stop hurting me, okay?"
I stared at her, trying to find the right words to tell her how I felt. "Dory... Please, listen... Just listen... I..."
"Marlin, I know very well that I'm not like Coral at all, and I won't even try to be like her. It wouldn't work. Get your mind clear and come back when you know what you want. You'll have to make a decision: Me or her."
With that, she left me alone with my thoughts.
To be continued...
Chapter 3: Decisions to be made
Later that evening, I hardly found sleep. Was it really that obvious that I liked Dory? Even Nemo said that, but he had only told me what his friends had told him and he was not the kind of kid who used to lie. Finally I decided that it was time to overthink some of my opinions, but before I could think further I fell asleep.
Early the next morning I stood up, woke Nemo and we went to school. Nemo swam immediately up to Mr. Ray and his friends and I stood there, talking to the other parents and wondered why Dory wasn't around. I had been looking forwards to meet her.
"Hi Dude!" I suddenly heard a voice behind me and turned around. It was Crush. "Where's the cute little companion of yours?"
"Oh, you mean Dory... To be true, I don't even know."
"So it is not because of yesterday?" he asked carefully, as if he might be about to say something that could hurt or annoy me.
"Yesterday...?" I hardly tried to remember what Crush was talking about and had to admit to myself that his words confused me.
He nodded. "Uh, well... I've heard you two had a little... quarrel."
Suddenly I got the hint and immediately began to tell him things I wasn't even sure myself that I meant it. "No! No, we surely hadn't. It's just that... Well, we had a little discussion about... feelings. That's all."
"Seems to me that there's much more on your mind than you want to tell me. Believe me, others have had this problems as well and most of them survived it. Being in love is not always as easy as you young people imagine." He smiled slightly and though I tried not to show it, I inwards almost hit the roof. Even he thought that...!
I sighed heavily. "Okay. First of all: We have not been quarreling. Second: We are not in love."
"Well, I don't know how Dory thinks about that point, but I am pretty sure that you are in love and that you didn't even notice yourself. Come on, Dude, what are you afraid of? What have you got to loose?"
I turned away, not knowing if I would be able to look him into the eye when I slowly spoke the two short sentences. "Another female I love. That's what I've got to loose." Embarrassing silence filled the air. "I lost my wife when Nemo was very young. I don't know if I'm ready to risk that again."
"What kind of risk are you talking about?" he asked bluntly. "The risk of loosing Dory or the risk of forgetting your wife? Is that the thing you're afraid of?"
I went over his last sentence in my mind once again, then a second and a third time. And at the fourth time, I noticed he was right. I nodded. "That might be the point."
"But you won't forget her! She lives on in your son."
"Right." I had never seen it this way before, but now it seemed as clear as the water that was all around us.
"Okay." He took a deep breath. "Let's come to the point. Just answer this question: Are you in love with Dory?"
I took a moment to think about it, not knowing how to define love, not knowing what to answer.
"Oh, come on, Dude, it can't be that hard! Just think about what you feel when you see her, when you're talking to her, when she touches you..."
I closed my eyes and I thought about it, I did not know how long, maybe it were only minutes, but to me it seemed like hours. I thought about all the moments, about our journey to Sydney, about all the fun we had, all the laughter, about the butterflies in my stomach... "Yes." I heard myself whispering.
"What do you mean by yes?" Immediately I opened my eyes and looked up. Crush was gone. The person who stood in front of me was... Dory. "I'm sorry for being late." She muttered. "But I'm not going to stay, I just came to say that..."
"Dory! I think there's something we should talk about!"
"But I don't think so. I guess you told me quite well what your opinion is. Yesterday, remember?"
"Dory, I..."
"STOP! Marlin, whatever you're about to say, I don't wanna hear it! You understand? I don't know if I'm asking that much of you, but please... Just stop hurting me, okay?"
I stared at her, trying to find the right words to tell her how I felt. "Dory... Please, listen... Just listen... I..."
"Marlin, I know very well that I'm not like Coral at all, and I won't even try to be like her. It wouldn't work. Get your mind clear and come back when you know what you want. You'll have to make a decision: Me or her."
With that, she left me alone with my thoughts.
To be continued...