"How so?" Irina yelled, ignoring her husband. "What could be worse then
leaving lipstick on his lips?"
"I could have left lipstick on his dick."
Irina lunged at her sister.
Katya, no fool, took a quick step backward.
Jack rolled his eyes and grabbed Irina around the waist just as she was about to clear the coffee table. With a loud "Umphf!" he hauled her back against him.
"After all...." Katya said with a smile. Rubbing her bottom lip, she noted, "As you know, Irina.... I did not get my code name Black *Swallow* because of my resemblance to a bird."
"Oh? Really?" Jack asked with a grin. "That's..." he coughed. "Interesting." Then grunted as Irina slammed a hard elbow into his midsection just as she slammed a boot-clad foot into the glass-top coffee table. He dropped her and in a flash, both sisters had grabbed large shards of glass and held them up.
"Both of you! Put the glass down and step back." When neither of them moved, Jack pulled his gun out of his holster. "NOW! I mean it."
"Oooh, he pulled out his.... gun. He must mean it," Katya said with a grin and dropped the piece of glass. "Don't you think, Irina? Or has it been so long since you've seen his gun... uncocked that you've forgotten what it...looks like? Now, speaking for myself... I do remember what it felt like... at least ---"
"Jack!" Irina turned irate eyes to her husband.
Jack waved his gun around casually. "Just an involuntary physical reaction. Make nothing of it."
"Well, it did not feel like... nothing to me." Katya smiled as her eyes slowly dropped down over Jack's body and then stared fixedly at a place that Irina swore was never going to see the light of day if he had in fact responded to her sister. Then she groaned as she met her sister's amused gaze, as Katya continued, "In fact, *it* felt like..... Or perhaps I should be more specific so that there is no misunderstanding. His *dick* felt like- --"
"Let me tell you what this piece of glass is going to feel like as it slides across your neck, you short.... little...lipstick-wielding.... tramp- --" Irina flung the glass shard at her sister. Katya stepped aside and the glass slammed point first into the cherry-wood of Jack's bar.
"NOW, I've had it!" Jack said. "That is an expensive, custom---"
"You are getting very fussy these days, Jack," Irina said with a sly grin. "I remember not too long ago when we played around with a piece of glass and---"
"Oh,* do* go on, Irina" Katya urged. "This *is* interesting. Educational. Illuminating. Exciting even. It makes me wonder if Jack is *up* for a repeat performance?"
With a hiss, Irina quickly snagged another piece of glass and flung it. This time it sliced through the upholstered back of a chair.
"This IS it!" Jack yelled. "I've had it. Time to call in the reinforcements."
"Reinforcements?" Katya asked, puzzled as Jack snatched Irina's cell phone from her waistband and held Irina back with his other hand as she grabbed for it.
"Ah, as I suspected. Your personal cell phone. Good." Jack nodded and punched in the number one on speed dial.
"Whom are you calling?" Katya asked. "Who is number one on speed dial if it isn't you?"
"It doesn't matter how old the girl is, where she goes, what she does, teacher or terrorist, a girl's number one on her speed dial will always be...." Jack paused as the phone rang and gave his wife a glare as she tried to grab the phone away.
"NO, Jack. Don't call---"
"Mrs. Derevko? Yes, this is Jack Bristow---"
"Don't call my mother! Don't----"
"Oh, this is so unfair," Katya complained, crossing her arms over her chest. "She always liked you best since you were the baby."
"Ha! She liked you best because you were the smallest, the cute one."
"No, no, ma'am. Irina's not dead again. Not yet anyway. Tomorrow, who knows? No, neither is Katya. Yes. Ah, I see. But... I really don't want to replace my carpeting. No, I don't think burgundy carpeting like yours would be more efficient given the circum-- And I'm becoming somewhat tired of replacing my doors and windows and... Yes, I've seen that show called Extreme Home Makeover, but I really don't want to apply. Having strangers in here would completely violate my security protocols. No, I don't think it's a good idea to kill the entire cast and crew after they leave... Yes, it would be a shame to kill Carson, but he's not on that show. He's on Queer Eye. I agree, that show is quite amusing, but.... I'm calling because two of your daughters are here having a bigger cat fight than Carson and a clerk in a shoe store trying to sell him socks.... Yes, *that bad.* Talk to Mr. Derevko--- Certainly. Yes. Hello. Yes," Jack sighed. "I promise to take care of your little girl. Not that she really requires any one to take care of her.... I know, I know, I have a little girl too. Yes. I promise. As long as she doesn't go off and leave me *again* for *twenty* years--"
"Will you never stop bringing that up?" Irina asked, rolling her eyes.
Jack covered the phone and sliding his hand around his wife's neck, said softly, "I'm still waiting for my apology on this visit."
"Oh," Irina said and smiled. That's what she had been planning with the knife before they were so rudely interrupted, after all. The apology game.
Jack smiled and nodded. Then speaking again into the phone, he slid one arm around his wife's shoulder as he listened. Finally, he said, "I see. Worked with her mother? At times, anyway? Well, I'll try anything once..." Jack flipped the phone closed and shoved it into his own pocket.
"That's gratifying to hear," Katya said. "Because I've always wanted to try that particular trick we saw on that tape, Irina, do you remember---"
Irina reached both arms out for her sister and began to lunge across the broken glass before them. Jack hissed in a breath, that was actually dangerous and so he once again grabbed her around her waist.
"Jack!" Irina exclaimed angrily, elbowing him.
"I told you. I don't want any blood on my new carpet." Jack tightened his arms around her and lifted her off of her feet.
"But--"
"I'm *serious.* No. Blood."
Irina sighed. "But...It wouldn't take *much* blood. I have a stiletto under your pillow, that would make a nice, small slice, deep but not too much blood if you angle it properly--"
"Since when is there a stiletto under my pillow?" Jack asked. There hadn't been a stiletto there earlier. "And more importantly, why?"
"Well, I was hoping..." Irina said, teasingly.
"Ah. Well, I would be hoping too. But honestly, if you bloody my carpet and I have to spend the evening shampooing it, I'm not going to be in the mood."
"Okay. There is an alternative. I could strangle her. No blood at all that way," Irina pointed out.
"Okay, well, that's true. But the body... where would we put the body?" Jack pointed out, he thought, reasonably. "And again, we'd spend all evening burying her. A waste of valuable time." Time they could be using to investigate the possibilities of a stiletto. That was new. He liked new things.
"True. But how about---"
"You honestly think you could take me so easily? *Baby* sister?" Katya taunted.
Jack groaned as he felt Irina's muscles tense and tightened his arms around her. He quickly turned around before she could move, tossed her on the couch and sat down on top of her.
"This was your father's recommendation and I have to say," Jack grinned as he shifted around on top of his wife. "I approve." Although it would be infinitely better, he sighed, if he were facing her while lying on top of her.
"Get off of me!" Irina grunted. "You're a big man, you know."
"Mmm. So he is," Katya commented, her eyes going up and down Jack's body.
"Jack. I mean it. Let. Me. Up!"
"No. I really don't think it's a good idea to kill your sister."
"But...."
"At least not in my house."
"She deserves it. She started it."
Jack nodded, and patted his wife's thigh as she tried to wind it around his leg to flip him over. "Nice try, but I know all your tricks, honey. Just hold still for a little while until you calm down."
"Tell her to calm down! Do something about her!"
"I am calm. I'm not the one who had to be restrained. Although... perhaps that was a tactical error on my part...." Katya stopped and smiled.
"You....You....You've never made a tactical error in your life! You lying, conniving, stealing---"
"And your point would be what?" Katya asked. "Or are you merely looking in the mirror?"
"Jack! Do something about her! Now!"
"Irina..." Jack said in a calm tone of voice as he pointed out, "Do you really, truly want me to restrain her?"
"Oooh. Can you?" Katya cooed.
TBC
"I could have left lipstick on his dick."
Irina lunged at her sister.
Katya, no fool, took a quick step backward.
Jack rolled his eyes and grabbed Irina around the waist just as she was about to clear the coffee table. With a loud "Umphf!" he hauled her back against him.
"After all...." Katya said with a smile. Rubbing her bottom lip, she noted, "As you know, Irina.... I did not get my code name Black *Swallow* because of my resemblance to a bird."
"Oh? Really?" Jack asked with a grin. "That's..." he coughed. "Interesting." Then grunted as Irina slammed a hard elbow into his midsection just as she slammed a boot-clad foot into the glass-top coffee table. He dropped her and in a flash, both sisters had grabbed large shards of glass and held them up.
"Both of you! Put the glass down and step back." When neither of them moved, Jack pulled his gun out of his holster. "NOW! I mean it."
"Oooh, he pulled out his.... gun. He must mean it," Katya said with a grin and dropped the piece of glass. "Don't you think, Irina? Or has it been so long since you've seen his gun... uncocked that you've forgotten what it...looks like? Now, speaking for myself... I do remember what it felt like... at least ---"
"Jack!" Irina turned irate eyes to her husband.
Jack waved his gun around casually. "Just an involuntary physical reaction. Make nothing of it."
"Well, it did not feel like... nothing to me." Katya smiled as her eyes slowly dropped down over Jack's body and then stared fixedly at a place that Irina swore was never going to see the light of day if he had in fact responded to her sister. Then she groaned as she met her sister's amused gaze, as Katya continued, "In fact, *it* felt like..... Or perhaps I should be more specific so that there is no misunderstanding. His *dick* felt like- --"
"Let me tell you what this piece of glass is going to feel like as it slides across your neck, you short.... little...lipstick-wielding.... tramp- --" Irina flung the glass shard at her sister. Katya stepped aside and the glass slammed point first into the cherry-wood of Jack's bar.
"NOW, I've had it!" Jack said. "That is an expensive, custom---"
"You are getting very fussy these days, Jack," Irina said with a sly grin. "I remember not too long ago when we played around with a piece of glass and---"
"Oh,* do* go on, Irina" Katya urged. "This *is* interesting. Educational. Illuminating. Exciting even. It makes me wonder if Jack is *up* for a repeat performance?"
With a hiss, Irina quickly snagged another piece of glass and flung it. This time it sliced through the upholstered back of a chair.
"This IS it!" Jack yelled. "I've had it. Time to call in the reinforcements."
"Reinforcements?" Katya asked, puzzled as Jack snatched Irina's cell phone from her waistband and held Irina back with his other hand as she grabbed for it.
"Ah, as I suspected. Your personal cell phone. Good." Jack nodded and punched in the number one on speed dial.
"Whom are you calling?" Katya asked. "Who is number one on speed dial if it isn't you?"
"It doesn't matter how old the girl is, where she goes, what she does, teacher or terrorist, a girl's number one on her speed dial will always be...." Jack paused as the phone rang and gave his wife a glare as she tried to grab the phone away.
"NO, Jack. Don't call---"
"Mrs. Derevko? Yes, this is Jack Bristow---"
"Don't call my mother! Don't----"
"Oh, this is so unfair," Katya complained, crossing her arms over her chest. "She always liked you best since you were the baby."
"Ha! She liked you best because you were the smallest, the cute one."
"No, no, ma'am. Irina's not dead again. Not yet anyway. Tomorrow, who knows? No, neither is Katya. Yes. Ah, I see. But... I really don't want to replace my carpeting. No, I don't think burgundy carpeting like yours would be more efficient given the circum-- And I'm becoming somewhat tired of replacing my doors and windows and... Yes, I've seen that show called Extreme Home Makeover, but I really don't want to apply. Having strangers in here would completely violate my security protocols. No, I don't think it's a good idea to kill the entire cast and crew after they leave... Yes, it would be a shame to kill Carson, but he's not on that show. He's on Queer Eye. I agree, that show is quite amusing, but.... I'm calling because two of your daughters are here having a bigger cat fight than Carson and a clerk in a shoe store trying to sell him socks.... Yes, *that bad.* Talk to Mr. Derevko--- Certainly. Yes. Hello. Yes," Jack sighed. "I promise to take care of your little girl. Not that she really requires any one to take care of her.... I know, I know, I have a little girl too. Yes. I promise. As long as she doesn't go off and leave me *again* for *twenty* years--"
"Will you never stop bringing that up?" Irina asked, rolling her eyes.
Jack covered the phone and sliding his hand around his wife's neck, said softly, "I'm still waiting for my apology on this visit."
"Oh," Irina said and smiled. That's what she had been planning with the knife before they were so rudely interrupted, after all. The apology game.
Jack smiled and nodded. Then speaking again into the phone, he slid one arm around his wife's shoulder as he listened. Finally, he said, "I see. Worked with her mother? At times, anyway? Well, I'll try anything once..." Jack flipped the phone closed and shoved it into his own pocket.
"That's gratifying to hear," Katya said. "Because I've always wanted to try that particular trick we saw on that tape, Irina, do you remember---"
Irina reached both arms out for her sister and began to lunge across the broken glass before them. Jack hissed in a breath, that was actually dangerous and so he once again grabbed her around her waist.
"Jack!" Irina exclaimed angrily, elbowing him.
"I told you. I don't want any blood on my new carpet." Jack tightened his arms around her and lifted her off of her feet.
"But--"
"I'm *serious.* No. Blood."
Irina sighed. "But...It wouldn't take *much* blood. I have a stiletto under your pillow, that would make a nice, small slice, deep but not too much blood if you angle it properly--"
"Since when is there a stiletto under my pillow?" Jack asked. There hadn't been a stiletto there earlier. "And more importantly, why?"
"Well, I was hoping..." Irina said, teasingly.
"Ah. Well, I would be hoping too. But honestly, if you bloody my carpet and I have to spend the evening shampooing it, I'm not going to be in the mood."
"Okay. There is an alternative. I could strangle her. No blood at all that way," Irina pointed out.
"Okay, well, that's true. But the body... where would we put the body?" Jack pointed out, he thought, reasonably. "And again, we'd spend all evening burying her. A waste of valuable time." Time they could be using to investigate the possibilities of a stiletto. That was new. He liked new things.
"True. But how about---"
"You honestly think you could take me so easily? *Baby* sister?" Katya taunted.
Jack groaned as he felt Irina's muscles tense and tightened his arms around her. He quickly turned around before she could move, tossed her on the couch and sat down on top of her.
"This was your father's recommendation and I have to say," Jack grinned as he shifted around on top of his wife. "I approve." Although it would be infinitely better, he sighed, if he were facing her while lying on top of her.
"Get off of me!" Irina grunted. "You're a big man, you know."
"Mmm. So he is," Katya commented, her eyes going up and down Jack's body.
"Jack. I mean it. Let. Me. Up!"
"No. I really don't think it's a good idea to kill your sister."
"But...."
"At least not in my house."
"She deserves it. She started it."
Jack nodded, and patted his wife's thigh as she tried to wind it around his leg to flip him over. "Nice try, but I know all your tricks, honey. Just hold still for a little while until you calm down."
"Tell her to calm down! Do something about her!"
"I am calm. I'm not the one who had to be restrained. Although... perhaps that was a tactical error on my part...." Katya stopped and smiled.
"You....You....You've never made a tactical error in your life! You lying, conniving, stealing---"
"And your point would be what?" Katya asked. "Or are you merely looking in the mirror?"
"Jack! Do something about her! Now!"
"Irina..." Jack said in a calm tone of voice as he pointed out, "Do you really, truly want me to restrain her?"
"Oooh. Can you?" Katya cooed.
TBC