Disclaimer: I don't own any of the said anime. DER!! Idiots.
The Ejiko Hotaru Torture Show!!
********
BVG: Welcome back! We've missed you all! Our first guest for today is-
Kitsune: Hold it! Before we introduce our guest, we have to greet our newest co-host!
Ejiko: Yeah, stupid! Well everyone, let's all put our hands together for: Sailor Dark!
Audience:*The now-becoming-annoying silence*
Ejiko: I SAID CLAP, DAMNIT!!
Audience: *Clapping wildly* *whistles*
Sailor Dark: Oh, thankyouthankyou-
Ejiko:*sweatdrop*
Kitsune: Someone found Eji's stash of sugar.
Sailor Dark: Well, it was kind of just out in the open there, and I thought-
Ejiko: Don't think on this show. It's not thinking that makes this show work.
Sailor Dark: Oh.
Ejiko: Anyway, our guests for today are the cast from Yu Yu Hakusho. First, we'll interview Kuwabara.
Audience: *Booing, hissing*
Ejiko: There will be no booing on this show. *Pause* Even if it is for Kuwabara. *Pause* Oh, screw it. Do what you will.
Audience: *Resume booing*
Kuwabara: Shut up!
Ejiko: Yes, the ever-underwhelming intelligence of Kuwabara strikes again. *monotone*
Kitsune: Can I beat him with my nightstick?
Ejiko: Later. So, Kuwabara. How come the only useful thing you ever did was almost die? I was pretty disappointed when you just popped back up.
Kuwabara: Huh?
Sailor Dark: Why am I not surprised.
Ejiko: Hm. I think there are a good-sized amount of Hiei fans here. You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Sailor Dark: You told me not to think.
Ejiko: Oh yeah. Well I'll let you just this once.
Sailor Dark: 'kay! Yeah, I think I know what you're thinking.
Kitsune: It's rather obvious what you're thinking.
Kuwabara: What are you talking about?
Ejiko: Shut up. Release the Hiei fans!!
Hiei Fans: *Flock to Kuwabara and rip him to shreds*
Kuwabara: ...ouch...
Ejiko: Not dead yet, huh? Release the Kuwabara fans!! *one person runs up and whacks Ejiko in the head*
Ejiko: Okay, scratch that. Sailor Dark, Kitsune, this calls for desperate measures. I hate to resort to this, but it's the only way.
Sailor Dark: You can't mean... that!
Ejiko: Yes, unfortunately I do. You may want to cover you ears.
Sailor Dark: I'll be okay.
Ejiko: Hey! Hiei fans! *covers ears* *indistinct speaking*
Sailor Dark: O.o
Kitsune: O.O
Hiei fans: *Rip Kuwabara's remains into dust*
Kitsune: ...I never knew you had such a... colorful... vocabulary.
Sailor Dark: I stopped listening after she said something about Kuwabara bending Hiei over a counter.
Ejiko: D'oh! *flinching* Never speak of such evil on my show ever again! Yaoi is forbidden in here except when absolutely necessary.
Sailor Dark: Like when trying to kill Kuwabara.
Ejiko: Exactly. Now, let's take a commercial break so that I may cleanse myself from this impurity.
*Commercial*
BVG: Skittles. Taste the rainbow.
Ejiko: I love Skittles!
Sailor Dark: I love them more!
Ejiko: I do!
Sailor Dark: No, I do!
BVG: Uh, ladies...
Both girls: SHUT UP!!!
Ejiko: You little bitch-!
Sailor Dark: *gasps* You-!
*Catfight ensues*
BVG: Um... Skittles are...
*RRIIIIPPP* *Shirts fall on BVG's head*
BVG: O.O
*More ripping* *BVG picks up something lacy*
BVG: .O; Uh, uh...
Kitsune: Is that what I think it is?!
BVG: Well, um, I-
Kitsune: You PERVERT!!!
*cut to static*
*End Commercial*
Ejiko: Thanks for tuning in! As BVG has been temporarily...detained...we'll have to live without him for a while.
BVG: *offstage* I said I was sorry!
Audience member: Is that a different shirt? Are you and Sailor Dark even wearing b-
Ejiko: Security!!! Escort this man outside, please.
Kitsune: *picks man up, places her foot in his be-hind and kicks him out the window.*
Sailor Dark: Anyway, our next guest is your favorite Fox and mine, Kurama!
Kurama: Hello, ladies.
Ejiko and Sailor Dark: *squeal*
Sailor Dark: *Glomps Kurama*
Ejiko: Oh! My turn! *GLOMP*
Kurama: Well, I-
Ejiko and Sailor Dark: We love you, Kurama!
Kitsune: Take a chill pill, J****.
Ejiko: Do we have Christian sensors?
Sailor Dark: Apparently so.
Ejiko: Sailor Dark, will you do the honors?
Sailor Dark: Of course. So, Kurama, how are you today?
Kurama: Um... fine, thank you... *getting slightly nervous*
Ejiko: Don't worry, Kurama. We won't do to you what we did to Kuwabara.
Kurama: What did you do to him?
Sailor Dark: We don't speak of it.
Ejiko: Sorry to interrupt, but we have to finish this in the next chapter.
Sailor Dark: You've gotta be kidding!!!
Ejiko: *shrugs* Nature calls.
Kitsune: We're not even going to get into that one. See you later, guys!
Ejiko: Tune in next time!
********
A/N: Sorry to cut the interview in half, Sailor Dark. Don't worry, you'll get your chance. Next time: Kurama tells all and we get to play around with Yusuke and Hiei a bit.
The Ejiko Hotaru Torture Show!!
********
BVG: Welcome back! We've missed you all! Our first guest for today is-
Kitsune: Hold it! Before we introduce our guest, we have to greet our newest co-host!
Ejiko: Yeah, stupid! Well everyone, let's all put our hands together for: Sailor Dark!
Audience:*The now-becoming-annoying silence*
Ejiko: I SAID CLAP, DAMNIT!!
Audience: *Clapping wildly* *whistles*
Sailor Dark: Oh, thankyouthankyou-
Ejiko:*sweatdrop*
Kitsune: Someone found Eji's stash of sugar.
Sailor Dark: Well, it was kind of just out in the open there, and I thought-
Ejiko: Don't think on this show. It's not thinking that makes this show work.
Sailor Dark: Oh.
Ejiko: Anyway, our guests for today are the cast from Yu Yu Hakusho. First, we'll interview Kuwabara.
Audience: *Booing, hissing*
Ejiko: There will be no booing on this show. *Pause* Even if it is for Kuwabara. *Pause* Oh, screw it. Do what you will.
Audience: *Resume booing*
Kuwabara: Shut up!
Ejiko: Yes, the ever-underwhelming intelligence of Kuwabara strikes again. *monotone*
Kitsune: Can I beat him with my nightstick?
Ejiko: Later. So, Kuwabara. How come the only useful thing you ever did was almost die? I was pretty disappointed when you just popped back up.
Kuwabara: Huh?
Sailor Dark: Why am I not surprised.
Ejiko: Hm. I think there are a good-sized amount of Hiei fans here. You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Sailor Dark: You told me not to think.
Ejiko: Oh yeah. Well I'll let you just this once.
Sailor Dark: 'kay! Yeah, I think I know what you're thinking.
Kitsune: It's rather obvious what you're thinking.
Kuwabara: What are you talking about?
Ejiko: Shut up. Release the Hiei fans!!
Hiei Fans: *Flock to Kuwabara and rip him to shreds*
Kuwabara: ...ouch...
Ejiko: Not dead yet, huh? Release the Kuwabara fans!! *one person runs up and whacks Ejiko in the head*
Ejiko: Okay, scratch that. Sailor Dark, Kitsune, this calls for desperate measures. I hate to resort to this, but it's the only way.
Sailor Dark: You can't mean... that!
Ejiko: Yes, unfortunately I do. You may want to cover you ears.
Sailor Dark: I'll be okay.
Ejiko: Hey! Hiei fans! *covers ears* *indistinct speaking*
Sailor Dark: O.o
Kitsune: O.O
Hiei fans: *Rip Kuwabara's remains into dust*
Kitsune: ...I never knew you had such a... colorful... vocabulary.
Sailor Dark: I stopped listening after she said something about Kuwabara bending Hiei over a counter.
Ejiko: D'oh! *flinching* Never speak of such evil on my show ever again! Yaoi is forbidden in here except when absolutely necessary.
Sailor Dark: Like when trying to kill Kuwabara.
Ejiko: Exactly. Now, let's take a commercial break so that I may cleanse myself from this impurity.
*Commercial*
BVG: Skittles. Taste the rainbow.
Ejiko: I love Skittles!
Sailor Dark: I love them more!
Ejiko: I do!
Sailor Dark: No, I do!
BVG: Uh, ladies...
Both girls: SHUT UP!!!
Ejiko: You little bitch-!
Sailor Dark: *gasps* You-!
*Catfight ensues*
BVG: Um... Skittles are...
*RRIIIIPPP* *Shirts fall on BVG's head*
BVG: O.O
*More ripping* *BVG picks up something lacy*
BVG: .O; Uh, uh...
Kitsune: Is that what I think it is?!
BVG: Well, um, I-
Kitsune: You PERVERT!!!
*cut to static*
*End Commercial*
Ejiko: Thanks for tuning in! As BVG has been temporarily...detained...we'll have to live without him for a while.
BVG: *offstage* I said I was sorry!
Audience member: Is that a different shirt? Are you and Sailor Dark even wearing b-
Ejiko: Security!!! Escort this man outside, please.
Kitsune: *picks man up, places her foot in his be-hind and kicks him out the window.*
Sailor Dark: Anyway, our next guest is your favorite Fox and mine, Kurama!
Kurama: Hello, ladies.
Ejiko and Sailor Dark: *squeal*
Sailor Dark: *Glomps Kurama*
Ejiko: Oh! My turn! *GLOMP*
Kurama: Well, I-
Ejiko and Sailor Dark: We love you, Kurama!
Kitsune: Take a chill pill, J****.
Ejiko: Do we have Christian sensors?
Sailor Dark: Apparently so.
Ejiko: Sailor Dark, will you do the honors?
Sailor Dark: Of course. So, Kurama, how are you today?
Kurama: Um... fine, thank you... *getting slightly nervous*
Ejiko: Don't worry, Kurama. We won't do to you what we did to Kuwabara.
Kurama: What did you do to him?
Sailor Dark: We don't speak of it.
Ejiko: Sorry to interrupt, but we have to finish this in the next chapter.
Sailor Dark: You've gotta be kidding!!!
Ejiko: *shrugs* Nature calls.
Kitsune: We're not even going to get into that one. See you later, guys!
Ejiko: Tune in next time!
********
A/N: Sorry to cut the interview in half, Sailor Dark. Don't worry, you'll get your chance. Next time: Kurama tells all and we get to play around with Yusuke and Hiei a bit.