Disclaimer: Said anime does not belong to me. Ejineko shall talk to
herself in the third person now. Ejineko has not taken her medicine.
Ejineko needs a ride home. All the way. (Think dirty, audience.)
Warning: I have NOTHING against homosexuals. I just don't like Yaoi. (Yes, I know I spelled it wrong last time!!) This chapter contains several derogatory remarks about homosexuals. Please do not take offense, as I am not trying to offend you. I am now going to stop being intelligent, I am hurting myself.
The Ejiko Hotaru Torture Show!
******** Ejiko: Welcome! Today we're gonna finish Sailor Dark's interview with Kurama.
Sailor Dark: It's about time!
Ejiko: But people came back. Now finish the damn interview.
Sailor Dark: Okay, okay! Kurama. We've heard of several... assumptions about your sex life. We just want you to tell all our audience members one thing. Are you and Hiei banging each other?
Kurama: I...I beg your pardon?!
Sailor Dark: Are you gay? A queer, homo, faggot, you know. A pussy, essentially.
Kurama: NO!!
Sailor Dark and Ejiko: We KNEW it!!
Sailor Dark: Could I have one of your roses?
Kurama: Of course! In fact, I have enough for each of you lovely young ladies. *Sparkly background effect*
Ejiko and Sailor Dark: *Swooning* Ooh!!
Kitsune: *Scoffs*
Kurama: Here! *Ejiko and Sailor Dark stand motionless, gazing in awe at the flowers*
Kitsune: O.o; *Blushing*
Ejiko: Kitsune! You're blushing!
Kitsune: *blushes harder* I am not!
Sailor Dark: Anyway, Kurama, how come you feel the need to be so polite all the time?
Kurama: It attracts women.
Sailor Dark: O.O; Um, is that the only reason?
Kurama: I like attention.
Ejiko: Er...
Kurama: By showing my sensitive side, I am irresistible to women. Then they don't fight when I-
Ejiko: Um, heh heh, Kurama? I think your time's up now.
Sailor Dark: But-
Ejiko: Fine! He can stay on stage with you but he cannot disrupt the show!
Spandex Warrior: I'm HE-reeee!!
Ejiko: Egaoko!? What are you doing?!
Spandex Warrior: Shh! I'm Spandex Warrior right now!
Ejiko: Sure. Anyhoo, let me introduce my audience to Spandex Warrior, my dysfunctional but adorable sister!
Spandex Warrior: *turns and shakes butt in tight spandex uniform* Come, my minions!
Ejiko: She's our newest addition to our security squad. So, let's bring out Yusuke, our next guest.
Yusuke: Yo.
Ejiko: Right. Now, we're going to play a little game with Yusuke. It's called "How Long Can Keiko Slap Yusuke Before He Passes Out?" Bets?
Spandex Warrior: Thirty seconds!
Kitsune: A minute.
Sailor Dark: One well-aimed smack should be enough.
Kurama: Five minutes!
Sailor Dark: You have a lot of faith, don't you?
Ejiko: I bet about ten seconds. Let's go! *Puts on the 'Glove of Keiko'*
Yusuke: What the- *Eji begins to pulverize him.*
*Five minutes later*
Ejiko: And he's finally down!
Kurama: I knew he could do it!
Yusuke: *Sits up* You stupid bitch!
Ejiko: Spandex Warrior, could you?
SP: *Macarena music and disco ball* *Dances the Macarena* Come, my minions! Take this intruder away!
***Commercial Break***
Ejiko: *scarfing Reese's peanut butter cups* Oh, ummmmph o uuurnng aay o eaa a Reaaaasses eught utter ugghp. *Translation: There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup.*
***End Commercial***
Ejiko: Now, we get to interview Hiei. But first, as a tribute to Rekka's fic, 365 Ningenkai Road, Hiei will do something very special for us. He's going to rap "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem!
*"The Real Slim Shady" is rapped (is that a word?) and interview ensues*
Ejiko: How cool was that!?
Kitsune: That was awesome!
Ejiko: Anyway, I think you're underappreciated, Hiei. You have such talent!
Hiei: Why the hell am I here?
Ejiko: *Flames in background and eyes glowing* I'M THE ONE ASKING QUESTIONS HERE, DAMNIT!!!!
Hiei: O.O
Everyone else: *Shrinks away*
Kurama: She's scary...
SP: Yep. Just thank God you don't live with her.
Ejiko: *Clears throat* So, Hiei-
Kitsune's Mother: I'm disappointed in the content of this show!
Kitsune: MOM?!!!
********
A/N: Uh-oh... get ready for some real violence. The spawn of all evil has arrived. Egaoko, wouldn't you agree? Review me and tell me what you think.
Warning: I have NOTHING against homosexuals. I just don't like Yaoi. (Yes, I know I spelled it wrong last time!!) This chapter contains several derogatory remarks about homosexuals. Please do not take offense, as I am not trying to offend you. I am now going to stop being intelligent, I am hurting myself.
The Ejiko Hotaru Torture Show!
******** Ejiko: Welcome! Today we're gonna finish Sailor Dark's interview with Kurama.
Sailor Dark: It's about time!
Ejiko: But people came back. Now finish the damn interview.
Sailor Dark: Okay, okay! Kurama. We've heard of several... assumptions about your sex life. We just want you to tell all our audience members one thing. Are you and Hiei banging each other?
Kurama: I...I beg your pardon?!
Sailor Dark: Are you gay? A queer, homo, faggot, you know. A pussy, essentially.
Kurama: NO!!
Sailor Dark and Ejiko: We KNEW it!!
Sailor Dark: Could I have one of your roses?
Kurama: Of course! In fact, I have enough for each of you lovely young ladies. *Sparkly background effect*
Ejiko and Sailor Dark: *Swooning* Ooh!!
Kitsune: *Scoffs*
Kurama: Here! *Ejiko and Sailor Dark stand motionless, gazing in awe at the flowers*
Kitsune: O.o; *Blushing*
Ejiko: Kitsune! You're blushing!
Kitsune: *blushes harder* I am not!
Sailor Dark: Anyway, Kurama, how come you feel the need to be so polite all the time?
Kurama: It attracts women.
Sailor Dark: O.O; Um, is that the only reason?
Kurama: I like attention.
Ejiko: Er...
Kurama: By showing my sensitive side, I am irresistible to women. Then they don't fight when I-
Ejiko: Um, heh heh, Kurama? I think your time's up now.
Sailor Dark: But-
Ejiko: Fine! He can stay on stage with you but he cannot disrupt the show!
Spandex Warrior: I'm HE-reeee!!
Ejiko: Egaoko!? What are you doing?!
Spandex Warrior: Shh! I'm Spandex Warrior right now!
Ejiko: Sure. Anyhoo, let me introduce my audience to Spandex Warrior, my dysfunctional but adorable sister!
Spandex Warrior: *turns and shakes butt in tight spandex uniform* Come, my minions!
Ejiko: She's our newest addition to our security squad. So, let's bring out Yusuke, our next guest.
Yusuke: Yo.
Ejiko: Right. Now, we're going to play a little game with Yusuke. It's called "How Long Can Keiko Slap Yusuke Before He Passes Out?" Bets?
Spandex Warrior: Thirty seconds!
Kitsune: A minute.
Sailor Dark: One well-aimed smack should be enough.
Kurama: Five minutes!
Sailor Dark: You have a lot of faith, don't you?
Ejiko: I bet about ten seconds. Let's go! *Puts on the 'Glove of Keiko'*
Yusuke: What the- *Eji begins to pulverize him.*
*Five minutes later*
Ejiko: And he's finally down!
Kurama: I knew he could do it!
Yusuke: *Sits up* You stupid bitch!
Ejiko: Spandex Warrior, could you?
SP: *Macarena music and disco ball* *Dances the Macarena* Come, my minions! Take this intruder away!
***Commercial Break***
Ejiko: *scarfing Reese's peanut butter cups* Oh, ummmmph o uuurnng aay o eaa a Reaaaasses eught utter ugghp. *Translation: There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup.*
***End Commercial***
Ejiko: Now, we get to interview Hiei. But first, as a tribute to Rekka's fic, 365 Ningenkai Road, Hiei will do something very special for us. He's going to rap "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem!
*"The Real Slim Shady" is rapped (is that a word?) and interview ensues*
Ejiko: How cool was that!?
Kitsune: That was awesome!
Ejiko: Anyway, I think you're underappreciated, Hiei. You have such talent!
Hiei: Why the hell am I here?
Ejiko: *Flames in background and eyes glowing* I'M THE ONE ASKING QUESTIONS HERE, DAMNIT!!!!
Hiei: O.O
Everyone else: *Shrinks away*
Kurama: She's scary...
SP: Yep. Just thank God you don't live with her.
Ejiko: *Clears throat* So, Hiei-
Kitsune's Mother: I'm disappointed in the content of this show!
Kitsune: MOM?!!!
********
A/N: Uh-oh... get ready for some real violence. The spawn of all evil has arrived. Egaoko, wouldn't you agree? Review me and tell me what you think.