When Your Friends Write Fanfictions About You
By: PyxWPI and friend Sid
All right, I was having problems with my computer and internet, neither were letting me onto FF.Net, so sorry for not updating. By the way, I do believe I had forgotten to wish you all happy holidays before I ended my last chapter, so in pure apology, I do hope you did have a wonderful holiday season!
Disclaimer: Oh, Cruel Fate! Why must you torment me so!? Why was I not the great mind that spawned the brilliance that is Invader ZIM? Oh, woe is me!
Pitiful though I am, I will give you the next best thing I can to Invader ZIM, which of course is nothing even close to it, but it's still funny. Pull that curtain, Ralph!
/
Zim was now tied to a fancy embellished chair in a dark café. The place smelled of mold and it looked like it didn't get many customers. There was soft elevator music playing from some excluded corner of the shop, but that didn't mean it didn't get a little too quiet when someone started to talk. Nobody wanted to say a word in fear that the walls had ears. It wasn't exactly a party like the three girls had promised, but at least they had something to do. They sipped cold cocoa and glanced around nervously every once in awhile as if paranoid someone might try to steal into their minds.
Dib: (looking at the wooden table in disgust) This place creeps me out. Looks like a spy joint in a secluded totalitarian country.
Rea: Huh?
Dib: Saw it in a movie once. A movie, I might add, that Gaz MADE me watch.
Gaz: (sipping from her mug) Hey, you liked it, much to my dismay.
Pyx: Would you rather have gone to the place across the street?
Sid: Everything there is pink and frilly, and they play Brittany Spears songs day and night!
Pyx: No wonder they're going out of business.
Zim: Since none of you filthies are having any "fun", I suggest that we depart this hideous place. And untie me!
Sid: I tied you to the chair for a reason Zim! I told you we wanted your company, and just because you don't like this place does not mean you are going to ditch us!
Dib: Do you ever shut up, Zim?!
Pyx: (whispering to Dib) Actually, I was amazed he made it this far without talking. It's been fifteen minutes.
Zim: (ignores them) I came with you willingly and accompanied you through the human streets, not to mention I didn't destroy you when you practically kidnapped me! This is what I get when I try to befriend humans!
Gaz: No, that's what you get for being the moron that you are.
Zim: You bag of useless dirt! When I am free-
Dib: Hey! Don't talk to my sister like that, alien monster!
Pyx: HEY! Hang on you guys! Gaz, would you stop with the insults?
Gaz: Somebody has to bring it to his attention that he's an idiot.
Pyx: That's not true. Zim, if you stop threatening everyone, I'll let you go.
Zim: If you let me go I promise no harm will come to you. (large fake grin spreads across his face)
Pyx: Promise?
Zim: I give you my word as an Invader!
Dib: (sarcastically) Well, that's promising...
Pyx: Untie him Sid.
Dib: No! Don't do it! He's got an evil plan to destroy us, I know it!
Gaz: I wish you would shut up Dib.
Sid: Me too.
All of a sudden, Dib was completely muted. He mouthed angry things at Gaz and Sid, but nothing came out. He felt around his throat for the cause of the problem (swollen glands perhaps?) while everyone stared at him. He tried to mouth a message to any of them but it was no use, the gift of speech had been taken from him.
Pyx: I wish Dib could talk again.
Dib: - and I suppose that was some sort of trick of yours.. Oh.
Pyx and Sid: (look at each other, wide-eyed) Wooooooooooow...
Rea: Kool. (continues sipping cocoa)
Gaz: Is there a reason why you're in awe?
Sid: We made Dib a mute!
Pyx: YOU made Dib a mute. I brought him back.
Gaz: He was faking it.
Dib: No I wasn't!
Sid: How did we do that?
Pyx: It's like being shareholder in a company.
All but Pyx: HUH?!?!
Pyx: Think about it. When you're a shareholder in a company, you contribute to it and partly own it. This is the same situation! We invested so much time and energy into the show that we partly own it! We can do whatever we please with it!
Zim: What show? What are you humans babbling noisily about now?
Dib: For once, I have to agree. They've been speaking nonsense since they came here.
Gaz: Now you know how I feel when you start talking, Dib. And I told you guys that he was faking. Probably trying to do something as foolish as make you feel special.
Sid: Oh yeah? Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?
Pyx: I gotcha. I WISH GIR WOULD BECOME A WEDGE OF CHEESE!
GIR: (once riding on a chef's head and screaming "RIDE THE COW!" is now lying on the floor of the kitchen, a wedge of cheese)
Pyx: Come on! I have to see if it worked! (jumps out of her chair and runs toward the kitchen)
Sid: Wait for me! (follows suit)
Dib, Gaz and Rea: (grumble, Gaz leads the way back to the kitchen)
Zim: HEY! Hey, hey! What about Zim? Let me go! Revenge will be mine! It will be sweet. (leans over so that back legs of chair leave the floor and he's able to stand, then shuffles over to the kitchen)
Sid: Look! (points to wedge of cheese on the floor)
Pyx: (stops passing chef) Excuse me sir, but was that cheese a crazy little robot a moment ago?
Chef: Uuuuuhhh.. (looks closely at cheese, squinting) Yeeeeeaaaah... Uh. mmmhmmm.
Pyx: Fantabulous!
Gaz: A wedge of cheese proves your point?
Zim: (shuffles in)
Dib: Yeah, that doesn't prove anything. Just because that guy says that (points to cheese) used to be GIR, it's not necessarily true. I mean, he looked delusional anyway.
Zim: This human says THAT is GIR?
Rea: That's what she's claimin', yeah.
Zim: Ha! Idiotic stink! That looks nothing like GIR!
GIR (as wedge of cheese): Master! I can't move! I wanna eat myself!
Zim: Not now GIR. If I were to believe for one millisecond that- waitaminute!
Rea: GIR! It's you! (picks up GIR and hugs him)
Dib: That's disturbing. The cheese is talking to us.
Gaz: I'm surprised that I don't hear you say that everyday.
GIR: (tip of cheese opens like a big beak and GIR's voice comes out) I wish I still had arms!
Zim: (turns to Pyx accusingly) You've ruined my robot slave!
Dib: Hold on! We still don't have any proof that Pyx did this! It could've been anything else! It could've been that crazy chef! He looked sinister in some way.
Pyx: Still don't believe huh? Alright.
Dib: Wha-?
Pyx: I wish Dib was wearing a big pink frilly dress!
Dib: (looks down; is wearing a dress such as the one Pyx described) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Gaz: Oh, the pricelessness of it all, heh. (leans up against the wall, dwelling on the serious blackmail opportunities)
Rea: Awww, Dib, you're sooooooo pretty!
GIR: I could KISS 'IM!
Zim: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! The Dib wearing female garments!
Pyx: Kodak Moment. (giggles)
Sid: (nods)
Pyx: Believe me now?
Dib: (hiding behind a large trash bin full of meat) ALRIGHT! JUST PUT ME BACK IN MY OWN CLOTHES! PLEEEEEEEASE!
Sid: Oh, I'll put you in some clothes.. (grins and then squints and strains her brain, wishes with all her might.)
Dib: SOME CLOTHES????? (steps out from behind trash can and is now wearing nothing but black boxers, he's too mad to be embarrassed)
Sid: That one was for you Pyx!
Pyx: You really are my best friend Sid! (wolf-whistles)
Dib: (blushes but stands his ground) GIMME BACK MY PANTS!
Gaz: (sniggering) That sounded oddly like a threat, Pyx.
Zim: THAT is what you humans wear for undergarments?
Dib: Shut up, Zim! I'm warning you guys, give me my clothes! It's cold in here! (starts shivering)
GIR: The Dib is cold! He's a freezer! He's turnin' blue!
Rea: Blue like my JEEP!
Sid: That's Pyx's Jeep!
Pyx: My jeep's white.(thinks really hard, wishing with all her soul.)
Dib: Thank you. (back in regular clothes)
Pyx: No, thank YOU, Dib. (winks)
Dib: (blushing)
Gaz: There is no way you actually enjoyed that, Pyx.
Pyx: Hey, I can't lie. Your brother's hott.
Dib: (face is now the color of a fire engine and getting redder still)
Sid: (points at Dib, laughs) Look at him blush! He's flattered, you can tell!
Dib: I am NOT flattered! (brick-wall-red) Pyx is an insane girl. Just because she compliments me doesn't mean I like her! I still think she's evil!
Pyx: I'm- I'm. You think I'm evil? (tears well up in her eyes)
Rea: Oh, you done it now Dib. (backs away from Pyx)
Zim: Excellent Dib! Make the worm-creature grovel for your forgiveness!
Gaz: (sarcastically) Good job, Dib.
Dib: Well, not that evil.
Pyx: (tears run down her face)
Dib: Oh, come on.
Pyx: (starts to sob)
Dib: Well, you did do some pretty awful stuff to us.
Pyx: (starts to wail)
Dib: I didn't mean it to be that bad!
Pyx: (runs out of café, crying)
Dib: (starts running after her) Who knew that someone who plays practical jokes nonstop could be so sensitive! Pyx! Come back!
Zim: That poor freakishly demented human. He would have had a better chance at making the female his slave if he had taken my advice.
Gaz: What kind of slave?
Zim: What other kind of slave is there that does your bidding and obeys you every whim?
Sid: There's GIR.
GIR: I used to have a sock! Where's my sock?!
Rea: I. don't. Know.
Zim: Yeeeaaah.
Sid: I think we should go after them don't cha think?
Rea: Mmmhmmm. (starts walking out of the café with GIR)
Chef: HEY! You have to PAY for that cheese!
Zim: That CHEESE is my robot slave!
Chef: The cheese belongs to me green-boy, and unless you've got some money, you're not going anywhere with it!
Sid: Oh yeah?
Chef: YEAH!
Rea: OH YEAH?!
Chef: YEAH!
GIR: OH YEAH?!
Chef: Ye- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! TALKING CHEESE! MOMMY!
Rea: Good job, GIR.
Zim: Yes, very good indeed. Now, I suggest that we find your "Pyx" so that you may go home and never bother me again!
Sid: No way we're going home now, Zim! We just found out that we have magical author powers in this world! We're not about to go back to our NORMAL lives! Say hello to your new shadow, BUG-boy!
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..
Well, that's it for this chapter people! See ya next time! Pyx: Witchy Paranormal Investigator
By: PyxWPI and friend Sid
All right, I was having problems with my computer and internet, neither were letting me onto FF.Net, so sorry for not updating. By the way, I do believe I had forgotten to wish you all happy holidays before I ended my last chapter, so in pure apology, I do hope you did have a wonderful holiday season!
Disclaimer: Oh, Cruel Fate! Why must you torment me so!? Why was I not the great mind that spawned the brilliance that is Invader ZIM? Oh, woe is me!
Pitiful though I am, I will give you the next best thing I can to Invader ZIM, which of course is nothing even close to it, but it's still funny. Pull that curtain, Ralph!
/
Zim was now tied to a fancy embellished chair in a dark café. The place smelled of mold and it looked like it didn't get many customers. There was soft elevator music playing from some excluded corner of the shop, but that didn't mean it didn't get a little too quiet when someone started to talk. Nobody wanted to say a word in fear that the walls had ears. It wasn't exactly a party like the three girls had promised, but at least they had something to do. They sipped cold cocoa and glanced around nervously every once in awhile as if paranoid someone might try to steal into their minds.
Dib: (looking at the wooden table in disgust) This place creeps me out. Looks like a spy joint in a secluded totalitarian country.
Rea: Huh?
Dib: Saw it in a movie once. A movie, I might add, that Gaz MADE me watch.
Gaz: (sipping from her mug) Hey, you liked it, much to my dismay.
Pyx: Would you rather have gone to the place across the street?
Sid: Everything there is pink and frilly, and they play Brittany Spears songs day and night!
Pyx: No wonder they're going out of business.
Zim: Since none of you filthies are having any "fun", I suggest that we depart this hideous place. And untie me!
Sid: I tied you to the chair for a reason Zim! I told you we wanted your company, and just because you don't like this place does not mean you are going to ditch us!
Dib: Do you ever shut up, Zim?!
Pyx: (whispering to Dib) Actually, I was amazed he made it this far without talking. It's been fifteen minutes.
Zim: (ignores them) I came with you willingly and accompanied you through the human streets, not to mention I didn't destroy you when you practically kidnapped me! This is what I get when I try to befriend humans!
Gaz: No, that's what you get for being the moron that you are.
Zim: You bag of useless dirt! When I am free-
Dib: Hey! Don't talk to my sister like that, alien monster!
Pyx: HEY! Hang on you guys! Gaz, would you stop with the insults?
Gaz: Somebody has to bring it to his attention that he's an idiot.
Pyx: That's not true. Zim, if you stop threatening everyone, I'll let you go.
Zim: If you let me go I promise no harm will come to you. (large fake grin spreads across his face)
Pyx: Promise?
Zim: I give you my word as an Invader!
Dib: (sarcastically) Well, that's promising...
Pyx: Untie him Sid.
Dib: No! Don't do it! He's got an evil plan to destroy us, I know it!
Gaz: I wish you would shut up Dib.
Sid: Me too.
All of a sudden, Dib was completely muted. He mouthed angry things at Gaz and Sid, but nothing came out. He felt around his throat for the cause of the problem (swollen glands perhaps?) while everyone stared at him. He tried to mouth a message to any of them but it was no use, the gift of speech had been taken from him.
Pyx: I wish Dib could talk again.
Dib: - and I suppose that was some sort of trick of yours.. Oh.
Pyx and Sid: (look at each other, wide-eyed) Wooooooooooow...
Rea: Kool. (continues sipping cocoa)
Gaz: Is there a reason why you're in awe?
Sid: We made Dib a mute!
Pyx: YOU made Dib a mute. I brought him back.
Gaz: He was faking it.
Dib: No I wasn't!
Sid: How did we do that?
Pyx: It's like being shareholder in a company.
All but Pyx: HUH?!?!
Pyx: Think about it. When you're a shareholder in a company, you contribute to it and partly own it. This is the same situation! We invested so much time and energy into the show that we partly own it! We can do whatever we please with it!
Zim: What show? What are you humans babbling noisily about now?
Dib: For once, I have to agree. They've been speaking nonsense since they came here.
Gaz: Now you know how I feel when you start talking, Dib. And I told you guys that he was faking. Probably trying to do something as foolish as make you feel special.
Sid: Oh yeah? Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?
Pyx: I gotcha. I WISH GIR WOULD BECOME A WEDGE OF CHEESE!
GIR: (once riding on a chef's head and screaming "RIDE THE COW!" is now lying on the floor of the kitchen, a wedge of cheese)
Pyx: Come on! I have to see if it worked! (jumps out of her chair and runs toward the kitchen)
Sid: Wait for me! (follows suit)
Dib, Gaz and Rea: (grumble, Gaz leads the way back to the kitchen)
Zim: HEY! Hey, hey! What about Zim? Let me go! Revenge will be mine! It will be sweet. (leans over so that back legs of chair leave the floor and he's able to stand, then shuffles over to the kitchen)
Sid: Look! (points to wedge of cheese on the floor)
Pyx: (stops passing chef) Excuse me sir, but was that cheese a crazy little robot a moment ago?
Chef: Uuuuuhhh.. (looks closely at cheese, squinting) Yeeeeeaaaah... Uh. mmmhmmm.
Pyx: Fantabulous!
Gaz: A wedge of cheese proves your point?
Zim: (shuffles in)
Dib: Yeah, that doesn't prove anything. Just because that guy says that (points to cheese) used to be GIR, it's not necessarily true. I mean, he looked delusional anyway.
Zim: This human says THAT is GIR?
Rea: That's what she's claimin', yeah.
Zim: Ha! Idiotic stink! That looks nothing like GIR!
GIR (as wedge of cheese): Master! I can't move! I wanna eat myself!
Zim: Not now GIR. If I were to believe for one millisecond that- waitaminute!
Rea: GIR! It's you! (picks up GIR and hugs him)
Dib: That's disturbing. The cheese is talking to us.
Gaz: I'm surprised that I don't hear you say that everyday.
GIR: (tip of cheese opens like a big beak and GIR's voice comes out) I wish I still had arms!
Zim: (turns to Pyx accusingly) You've ruined my robot slave!
Dib: Hold on! We still don't have any proof that Pyx did this! It could've been anything else! It could've been that crazy chef! He looked sinister in some way.
Pyx: Still don't believe huh? Alright.
Dib: Wha-?
Pyx: I wish Dib was wearing a big pink frilly dress!
Dib: (looks down; is wearing a dress such as the one Pyx described) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Gaz: Oh, the pricelessness of it all, heh. (leans up against the wall, dwelling on the serious blackmail opportunities)
Rea: Awww, Dib, you're sooooooo pretty!
GIR: I could KISS 'IM!
Zim: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! The Dib wearing female garments!
Pyx: Kodak Moment. (giggles)
Sid: (nods)
Pyx: Believe me now?
Dib: (hiding behind a large trash bin full of meat) ALRIGHT! JUST PUT ME BACK IN MY OWN CLOTHES! PLEEEEEEEASE!
Sid: Oh, I'll put you in some clothes.. (grins and then squints and strains her brain, wishes with all her might.)
Dib: SOME CLOTHES????? (steps out from behind trash can and is now wearing nothing but black boxers, he's too mad to be embarrassed)
Sid: That one was for you Pyx!
Pyx: You really are my best friend Sid! (wolf-whistles)
Dib: (blushes but stands his ground) GIMME BACK MY PANTS!
Gaz: (sniggering) That sounded oddly like a threat, Pyx.
Zim: THAT is what you humans wear for undergarments?
Dib: Shut up, Zim! I'm warning you guys, give me my clothes! It's cold in here! (starts shivering)
GIR: The Dib is cold! He's a freezer! He's turnin' blue!
Rea: Blue like my JEEP!
Sid: That's Pyx's Jeep!
Pyx: My jeep's white.(thinks really hard, wishing with all her soul.)
Dib: Thank you. (back in regular clothes)
Pyx: No, thank YOU, Dib. (winks)
Dib: (blushing)
Gaz: There is no way you actually enjoyed that, Pyx.
Pyx: Hey, I can't lie. Your brother's hott.
Dib: (face is now the color of a fire engine and getting redder still)
Sid: (points at Dib, laughs) Look at him blush! He's flattered, you can tell!
Dib: I am NOT flattered! (brick-wall-red) Pyx is an insane girl. Just because she compliments me doesn't mean I like her! I still think she's evil!
Pyx: I'm- I'm. You think I'm evil? (tears well up in her eyes)
Rea: Oh, you done it now Dib. (backs away from Pyx)
Zim: Excellent Dib! Make the worm-creature grovel for your forgiveness!
Gaz: (sarcastically) Good job, Dib.
Dib: Well, not that evil.
Pyx: (tears run down her face)
Dib: Oh, come on.
Pyx: (starts to sob)
Dib: Well, you did do some pretty awful stuff to us.
Pyx: (starts to wail)
Dib: I didn't mean it to be that bad!
Pyx: (runs out of café, crying)
Dib: (starts running after her) Who knew that someone who plays practical jokes nonstop could be so sensitive! Pyx! Come back!
Zim: That poor freakishly demented human. He would have had a better chance at making the female his slave if he had taken my advice.
Gaz: What kind of slave?
Zim: What other kind of slave is there that does your bidding and obeys you every whim?
Sid: There's GIR.
GIR: I used to have a sock! Where's my sock?!
Rea: I. don't. Know.
Zim: Yeeeaaah.
Sid: I think we should go after them don't cha think?
Rea: Mmmhmmm. (starts walking out of the café with GIR)
Chef: HEY! You have to PAY for that cheese!
Zim: That CHEESE is my robot slave!
Chef: The cheese belongs to me green-boy, and unless you've got some money, you're not going anywhere with it!
Sid: Oh yeah?
Chef: YEAH!
Rea: OH YEAH?!
Chef: YEAH!
GIR: OH YEAH?!
Chef: Ye- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! TALKING CHEESE! MOMMY!
Rea: Good job, GIR.
Zim: Yes, very good indeed. Now, I suggest that we find your "Pyx" so that you may go home and never bother me again!
Sid: No way we're going home now, Zim! We just found out that we have magical author powers in this world! We're not about to go back to our NORMAL lives! Say hello to your new shadow, BUG-boy!
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..
Well, that's it for this chapter people! See ya next time! Pyx: Witchy Paranormal Investigator