Title: My Darling Estel

Author: B-witched83uk (bwitched83ukaol.com)

Rating: PG

Summary: Arwen cannot sleep the night before her wedding, so she writes a letter.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. The whole of Middle-earth belongs to Tolkien

Dedication: Kayleigh and Sevan, I don't need a reason. Thanks for everything, girls

Beta: The Last Evenstar, a great friend and a great editor.

Archive: fanfiction.net. Any others please ask.

Feedback: I would absolutely love some because yes I am a praise junky.

A/N: I know that just yesterday I said I was taking a break from writing. I still am, but after watching the movie Onegin today, I was inspired to write a letter, nice and easy, so I figured I would post it.

My Darling Estel

My dearest darling Estel,

I find that I cannot sleep. I have but hours until I see you, yet it seems a lifetime. I write to you now so that I may pretend you are beside me, so that I may speak as though you were a breath away.

Tomorrow is our wedding day, the day we have waited for since first we met, and my skin is writhing with the need for your touch. I sit alone on the floor of this room you have given me, writing to you by candlelight like an impatient child on the eve of some great festival.

My writing is shaky but I do not apologise for it, for it is your doing that I have lost all control over my body. It isn't just my hands that shake; it is my soul, my heart, every part of me that you have ever touched. My mouth is dry. I cannot seem to quench it. I have had tears in my eyes all day long. The feelings that I have for you have been welling up inside of me and had I been alone today, I would have surely spent it screaming your name.

There is an emptiness inside my chest, an emptiness that I know well. It was always there before we met and it returns each time we are apart. Only the closeness of your body can silence it. Only the feel of your breath on my neck as you hold me can chase it away. I ache for you, not only my body, but all the parts of me that you can not see.

There is a certain sadness inside of me. Though I know you are but a few doors away, it may as well be miles. The sun will soon rise and never will I be happier to see her, for when she comes she shall tell me that our wait is over, that finally you will be mine and I will be yours.

I dare not read this back to myself, for I doubt it will make much sense, even to me. Yet I had to write it, or a part of me would surely have exploded with the urgency I feel towards all that you are, and all that you will be.

I will do whatever it takes to be a good wife to you. I will never deny you anything. My only hope for our life together is that I can make you as happy as you make me.

I close my eyes and you are here beside me, your grey eyes burning me inside, your roughened hands, for which you always apologise, gliding down my bare arms. The way your neck always smells, when I rest my head upon your shoulder. Your warm lips and prickly chin. All of you will be mine, and I will be selfish. I will not share the treasure that this dawn brings me. And when the day is over, when the sun whispers goodnight, we shall retire and give ourselves over to one another so completely.

I know not if I write this for you to read or for my own peace of mind. It matters not which, for all that I have written here I shall say to you. Over our long years of marriage, I shall tell you this every day, so that when you are eventually taken from me, I will find some peace in that you knew how much I truly loved you.

Alas, it is time. The sun has woken and she smiles down upon us. It is time. It is our time. Finally we find our places in this world, together.

My undying love, in this life and the next,

Your Arwen

The End