This took me about ten minutes to write... Anywho, it's just a random strange thing... That's random and strange... And stupid... Oh, by the way, if any of these stories are way off track... like... the whole thing is wrong and 'that's not how it happened, baka!' Just gimme a break. I'm 14, and I haven't heard any of these stories in like... Ages. Since I was five or something. So the point is, since I can't even remember yesterday, how d'you expect me to remember fairy tales?

So let's start it out easy.

"The three little pigs... or samurai... or something."

Once upon a time, there were some pigs. There was pig Sanosuke, pig Kenshin, and pig Hiko XIII. Well, these pigs decided they didn't like living wherever they'd lived before, and built some houses.

"I built my house out of straw," said pig Sanosuke.

"I built my house out of sticks," said pig Kenshin.

"I built my house out of stone since I don't know if bricks were common building material in 1880," said pig Hiko XIII.

Well, one day, these pigs were just sitting in their houses sharpening swords or something, when along came a wolf. He was named Saitou. Well wolf Saitou wanted to eat some ham. Or bacon. So he said...

"Hey, moron pig Sano--"

"NOT BY THE HAIR ON MY...er... head?"

"Your funeral," said wolf Saitou, and he threw his cigarette on the straw house. It burst into flames. Well-done pig Sanosuke made a nice meal, but wolf Saitou was still rather hungry, so, he walked about three feet to pig Kenshin's house.

"Hey, pansy! Open your damn door!" said wolf Saitou. "I need some sugar!"

And pig Kenshin replied, "No! Last time I gave you sugar, you were on a high for weeks! Er... I mean.. Not by the non-existant hair on my chinny-chin-chin."

Well, wolf Saitou was out of cigarettes, so he said, "Then I'll just butcher this innocent little kid out here."

Or course, there was no little kid, but pig Kenshin was stupid and fell for it. He shot out of his house so fast he knocked it over. It spontaneously burst into flames.

"Fool," said wolf Saitou. He drew his sword. Pig Kenshin ran to pig Hiko XIII's house and knocked on the door.

"SHISHOU!!! THERE'S A WOLF OUT HERE AND HE WANTS SOME SUGAR!!! Oh, he also wants to eat me, but I guess that's superfilous information since really, I don't matter. I have to make everybody else happy before I can even realize I exist."

Well, wolf Saitou was kind of confused by this and just stood there. Pig Hiko XIII opened the door and dragged his deshi into his stone house. Wolf Saitou said something rather rude and threw his shoe at the door.

"Baka pigs! I'll get you somehow!"

So, wolf Saitou picked up his shoe and stalked off into the forest to make a plan. While he was there, he followed some little girl in red and ate her grandma. Of course, some woodsman came along and cut him open, took out pig Sanosuke (who instantly ran to pig Hiko XIII's house) and the old lady, so wolf Saitou was still hungry. He sewed himself closed and went in search of something explosive.

The next day...

"HEY YOU RETARDED HAMBURGERS!" wolf Saitou yelled. A window opened.

"Hello, wolf Saitou! Figured out how to--" pig Kenshin started, but wolf Saitou rammed a hand grenade into his mouth.

"Yes." Wolf Saitou then pulled the pin and hit the dirt. A second later, the entire establishment blew up, along with 80 square feet of ground and forest around it, as this had been a nuclear hand grenade, and really, wolf Saitou had not benefitted in the least from its use. So he moped away and ate some little kid in a field who kept yelling about wolves.

Owari.

Short, I know. ^_^ But hey, there's more fairy tales on the way. Take a chill pill. Anywho, dictionary:

shishou-master

deshi-student, apprentice

baka-idiot, fool, stupid, etc

owari-end