More genderbenders.

Little Red Riding Hood

who does not wear red, but purple...

Okay, so at one point at time in some forest or something, there was this little girl named little red riding hood. Well, this story requires a genderbender. And a colorblind authoress.

Once upon a time, there was little red riding hood, and though he really was a boy and wore purple, since he had long red hair, people thought he was a girl, and that his hair was a hood or something, and therefore, he was a she. But since he is a he, I will refer to him as he in this story. Now.

Little Kenshin who did not wear a riding hood of any sort, red or not, lived with his mother Megumi in the forest. Well, one day little Kenshin (who, from this point on will be referred to as Kenshin-chan cuz it's easier to type) was minding his own business, smelling flowers and whatnot, when his mother came out with a basket.

"Kenshin-chan," she said. "Take this basket of goodies through the forest to your Grandma. She's ill and I think that a lot of sugary cookies and candy will help her be healed of the flu."

"Yes ma'am," Kenshin-chan said. He took the basket and skipped down the path into the forest. Well, about halfway, he met a wolf [of Mibu]. The wolf, named Saitou, stopped him and asked where he was headed.

"I'm taking this basket of sugary stuff to my Grandma so she can rot her teeth even more. She's got the flu and it's not enough that she's throwing up and has a fever of 103, I'm gonna give her a bunch of candy and chocolate and cookies and sugary sugary stuff," Kenshin-chan said, nodding.

"Really...? Well, I know a shortcut to your Grandma's house. Follow me."

"...Oro? How do you know where she lives?"

"I'm a wolf. I know these things."

"Oh."

"Come along, little... whatever you are."

So wolf Saitou led Kenshin-chan through the forest. Laughing to himself, the suddenly darted away, leaving Kenshin-chan lost in the forest with his basket of fattening, tooth-eroding foods.

"Muwahahaha," thought wolf Saitou. "I'll go to the Grandma's house and butcher her, then I'll take her place and butcher that stupid kid when he gets there. Muwahahahaha!"

So, shortly, wolf Saitou arrived at Kenshin-chan's Grandma's house. He opened the door and promptly closed it again just as a book slammed into it.

Grandma Sanosuke was inside with the authoress, obviously attempting to murder her.

"WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO PLAY THE PART OF THE WOMAN!?"

"Not always...! In 'Jack and the beanstalk' I didn't have you play a woman. I could have made you Jack's mother, but I- EEP!" the authoress said. There was another loud clatter as Sanosuke obviously threw something else. Saitou shrugged and opened the door. He promptly burst out laughing at seeing Sano wearing an old lady's nightgown and slippers.

Ten minutes later...

"STOP LAUGHING, IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!"

Saitou, lying on the ground with tears running down his cheeks, holding his sides in pain from laughing so hard, obviously thought it was funny.

"Grrr..."

Sanosuke pounced at Saitou, who dodged, grabbed his wrist, and threw him into a closet just as Kenshin-chan skipped into view with a bouquet of flowers, singing to himself.

Wolf Saitou quickly jumped into the large canopy bed. He refused to put on an old lady's hair net. There was a knock at the door.

"Grandmaaaaaa! It's me, and I have some goodies that will make you feel better!" Then, without anybody's permission, Kenshin-chan opened the door and skipped inside. "And I brought you some flowers."

"... Ergh."

"... Are you okay?"

Wolf Saitou didn't have a chance to answer before Kenshin-chan continued.

"Wow, Grandma, what narrow eyes you have! And they're gold! Like a wolf's."

"... I got contacts... You know... Old people have bad eyes..."

"Oh. And what a big nose you have!"

"... Do I really have a big nose?! It's not that big, is it?"

"... I don't know. It's in my script."

"Well that's comforting. You're supposed to say 'no' you baka."

"No, you baka."

Saitou opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the almight authoress spoke. Or spake.

"GET BACK TO WORK, LACKIES!"

"Yes ma'am," Kenshin-chan said, bowing to no one in particular, being as she hadn't shown herself. "And you have FANGS, Grandma! You're not my Grandma! You're a CANNIBAL!"

"... I suppose, if you want to think of it that way..." wolf Saitou muttered under his breath. Then he jumped out of the bed. "No, I'm a WOLF, you baka, and I don't like flowers. I've got bad allergies."

"Really? What did you do to my Grandma, then?"

"I threw him-- her into the closet."

Kenshin-chan opened the closet door to find Sanosuke cowering with his hands over his head.

"I'm not a woman. I'm not a woman. I'm not a woman. I'm not a woman. I'm.."

"Well, apparently your Grandma's flipped her lid. Either that or she's a man," wolf Saitou said, shrugging.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

And Kenshin-chan ran away crying, leaving his basket of sugary goodies behind. Wolf Saitou looked at it for a second and picked it up. He sniffed it. He took a bite out of a cookie. It seemed safe, so he ate all the cookies. Only later did he realize they were extremely fiber-enriched.

Kenshin-chan skipped home screaming that his Grandma was a man. His mother Megumi beat him over the head with a baseball bat and all he could say after that was "goo-goo oro gaa gaa oro."

Owari.

... I don't remember writing half of this. I don't remember thinking about what to write, it just kinda ended up on my screen without my permission. I don't think that's a good thing.

Oh, and if you're wondering, yes, I am continuing work on all my other stories, except the Christmas one for the time being, because I have TOO MUCH TO DO, and besides, it's past Christmas.