Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Cinderella

Muwahahahahahahahaha...

Aye. So, once upon some time, there was this girl named Kaoru. Of course, that was her real name. Her evil evil stepsisters and stepmother who made her their slave called her Cinderella because she was always covered in ashes and dirt and all that whatnot, and overall, she just looked quite unpresentable. Well anyway, one day Cinderella-Kaoru was looking especially grubby, when some guy came to the door.

"Answer that!" snapped Cinderella-Kaoru's evil stepmother, Megumi.

"Make me!" Cinderella-Kaoru shot back. Stepmother Megumi did just that. She dragged her over to the door, put her hand on the knob, turned her hand, and pulled the door open.

"There! I made y..." he voice trailed off as she saw who was at the door. A young man dressed in rather expensive-looking clothes was standing at the door. He had brown spiky hair and brown eyes.

"Hello. I am a messenger from the castle," he said.

Upon hearing those words, stepmother Megumi shoved Cinderella-Kaoru out of sight and the two evil stepsisters, Misao and Yahiko, crowded at the door beside their mother.

"Uh... Yes. His majesty Prince Kenshin is having a ball this tomorrow night. He's hoping to find himself a bride. All the ladies in the city are invited."

"Oh! This is amazing!" said stepsister Misao, fanning herself. "I think I might pass out!" And she did just that.

"... Anyway... It's this tomorrow night from eight until whenever he decides it's over. We hope to see you there." Messenger Sanosuke bowed slightly, turned on his heel, walked to the street and mounted a beautiful (very expensive-looking and well-groomed) black horse and rode away.

"I don't know about you, but I think the messenger would be just as good to marry as the prince," stepsister Yahiko said.

Oooooooooooooooooooookay...

"What? He's just a messenger! Think of all the money the prince would have! Think of how much he could buy us! Think of how spoiled we would be!" stepsister Misao said, suddenly awake and fine again.

The three had a collective sigh, what with the sparklies and fluttery eyelashes and hearts for eyes. Then stepmother Megumi looked evil and pointed at Cinderella-Kaoru.

"You! You are most definitely NOT going to that ball tomorrow night. You will stay here and you will clean the ENTIRE house, wash ALL the clothes, make ALL the beds, and there better be a warm bath ready for each of us when we get back!"

Cinderella-Kaoru burst into tears and ran away.

Well, the next night at eight, all the evil step-family-members went to the castle in their most expensive dresses. Cinderella-Kaoru started mopping the floors. After about half an hour of that, she broke down and cried for half an hour or so. Until suddenly, her fairy god... um... mother... appeared... only... it was a guy.

"Stop crying, kid," he said. Cinderella-Kaoru looked up and screamed, because her fairy godmother was: 1) a guy and 2) looked evil, what with the gold eyes and evil frown.

"Who are you?!"

"I'm your fairy godmother."

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I got the wings and everything." The man, who, if you couldn't figure it out, was named Saitou, turned around. He had tiny little fluttering wings on his back.

"Okay... SO... Why are you here?" Cinderella-Kaoru asked.

"Because I'm going to get you to that ball."

"Really?! But... I can't go! I don't have anything to wear, and I have no way to get there!"

Fairy Saitou sighed. "Come with me." He led her out onto the front lawn.

"Um... This hasn't solved my problem," Cinderella-Kaoru said.

"Learn some patience, child!" Fairy Saitou snapped. He waved a cigarette. A second later, Cinderella-Kaoru was decked out in a beautiful kimono and glass sandals.

"Oh, wow... Thank you!"

"And here's your transportation," Fairy Saitou said. He waved a cigarette and poosh!, a carriage appeared, pulled by a white horse and driven by some guy in a long white coat named Aoshi.

"Thank you, thank you!!!" Cinderella-Kaoru cried. "I'd hug you, but I'm still scared of you."

"Whatever. Look, all this magical whatnot will vanish at midnight, and that includes your clothes. So, unless you want to end up at the Prince's ball naked, I suggest you get home before then."

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Okay."

"Now get into that carriage thing and go dance with that stupid Prince."

Cinderella-Kaoru was rather scared now, so she turned and jumped in the carriage. Driver Aoshi kicked the horses into gear and sped off.

Well, when Cinderella-Kaoru arrived at the ball, she was instantly swept off onto the dance floor by none other than Prince Kenshin himself. They danced all night and were very happy. Luckily, Cinderella-Kaoru never saw any of her evil stepsisters or stepmother.

Around 11:45, Prince Kenshin took Cinderella-Kaoru out onto a balcony type thing and kissed her. And she was so stunned by this she just stood there staring at him. For fifteen minutes. Then some bells started chiming and she screamed and ran away, yelling something about evil fairy godmothers, and leaving Prince Kenshin standing there, dumbstruck. Finally he got back his senses and went after her.

"Wait! Kaoru-san!!!" he yelled, running through the hall after her. She ignored him and went out the front castle doors. The clock bells were on their 8th ring. She had four more rings before everything magical would go poof, including her clothes. She was so preoccupied counting rings that she fell down the front stairs--all 40 of them. On the way down, she lost one of her sandals. She ignored this and kept running. She jumped in the carriage on the 10th ring. It started down the street full speed. She was almost home when it vanished and she fell on her butt. She was startled to see her fairy god... er... mother... nearby watching and laughing at her. She was starting to think he was more of a fairy godwitch or something.

Luckily, it seemed fairy Saitou had lied about the clothes, because she managed to keep those until she got inside.

She collapsed in a little pile on the ground, back in her ugly dirty yucky icky gross disgusting filthy clothes and cried.

The next morning, she had to put up with 3 hours of lectures and scolding before she was sent off to do backbreaking work until her fingers bled. She was scrubbing the house with a toothbrush when the messenger from the other day came to the door. She opened it and he smiled kindly at her, despite her extremely unpresentable condition.

"Hello," he said. Cinderella-Kaoru was promptly shoved out of the way by her stepmother.

"Hello," she said sweetly. Obviously she'd changed her thinking to be along the same lines as stepsister Yahiko's, since she hadn't gotten a single glimpse of the Prince. There was a bit of a seductive hint in her voice as she said, "Can we help you?"

"Perhaps. The Prince is looking for the girl who can fit their foot in this." He produced the glass sandal from inside his jacket. "Whoever that girl is, he will marry."

Well, of course nobody's foot fit in it. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't fit in the sandal. So, messenger Sanosuke was about to leave when he caught a glimpse of Cinderella-Kaoru.

"What about her?" he asked stepmother Megumi.

"She's nobody. She wasn't even at the ball. It won't fit her."

"Ma'am, I have to check with every girl. If you would, miss..."

Cinderella-Kaoru was dumbstruck. She knew the sandal would fit her. She was going to marry the prince.

She tried on the sandal. It fit perfectly.

She was shipped off and married the prince and they lived happily ever after.

Owari.

Sorry. It got too long, in my opinion, so I didn't want to drag out the reactions of the step-family-members, but to make it short, they died of misery.