Chapter 12
Kara's eyes adjusted slowly to the dim light around her. She had the feeling that she should be afraid, very afraid, but nothing could pervade the fatigue and numbness that was filling her mind and body.
Turning her head to the side she spotted Lee sitting in a chair. His head was back against the wall, and she couldn't see if his eyes were open or not. He was out of uniform — a fairly rare occurrence on the Galactica — and dressed in what appeared to be a loose-fitting long sleeved shirt and matching baggy pants. In truth, he looked adorable.
She shifted her body again, trying to get comfortable. She didn't have a lot of success. Her head felt like it was filled with cotton, and her body was aching as it hadn't since the morning after the attack.
The attack.
Oh Lords, for a moment — just a moment — she'd forgotten. She was here because she had fallen apart in the hallway. She didn't remember details clearly, but she could very well remember running, and then becoming aware of Lee's body around her as his father looked on anxiously. Most of what was in between was a blur, but she knew it couldn't be good. She wondered if anyone else had seen. It was bad enough if the eldest Adama had indeed seen her weakness.
Shifting again, she felt the tug in one hand and looked down to frown at the IV catheter in her left hand. Thankfully it was well taped, or she would have dislodged it. As it was, the urgent need to find a bathroom was explained by the nearly empty plastic bag hanging just over her head.
She could go by herself. She had been in this room more than once for a flight physical or to visit a friend, and she knew where the restrooms were. But for some reason she couldn't coordinate in her mind just how she was going to get that bag above her out of the way so that she could go. It didn't look like independence was going to be an option.
"Lee?"
Her voice had been raspy, but his head jerked up immediately. He gave her a tentative smile when he did so. "You're awake."
Talk about stating the obvious. "Looks that way," she admitted, her throat still too dry to sound normal. "Um, can you see if there's a doctor or tech around someplace?"
"Are you okay?" he asked urgently, coming to stand at her side and clasp the hand that wasn't invaded by an IV line. "Are you hurting."
She debated being embarrassed, but this was Lee. "Not too bad. I like the cute pajamas," she remarked.
"Well, I got a little cold in my underwear," he admitted with a sheepish grin. "Didn't want to go back to quarters, so Cassie found me something to wear. How about you? Not your most glamorous outfit."
She glanced down at the sheets that covered what was essentially paper clothing. "Yuck."
"You look pretty good to me," he told her with a wink. Then, more seriously, "How are you, really?"
"I need a toilet," she told him honestly. "And I can't figure out how to get around this rope." She lifted her opposite hand, the one with the IV, to illustrate her point.
"I'll get a tech," he told her simply. "Be right back."
Lee was true to his words, and Cassie was there in moments to assist her to the restroom. Lee was courteous enough to stay out of the room while she did it, and Kara was grateful. Her uniform was gone, replaced by a paper dress that was more revealing than she would have liked, and she really didn't want him watching her groggy progress to take care of business.
Shortly after helping her back to her bed and getting her something to drink, Cassie returned to remove the IV. "Doc Salik ran some antibiotics," she told her casually. "And quite a bit of fluids to get you rehydrated. You may need to make a couple more trips before it's out of your system."
"Great," she mumbled in response. And then had to ask, "Is Lee still around?"
Cassie grinned. "I'll send him in."
He didn't come in immediately, but when he did he was back in his duty uniform and looked like he'd been to the shower. No wonder he had taken so long. She desperately wished she could do the same. "Feel better?" she asked.
He ran a hand over a freshly shaven face. "Actually, yeah," he admitted. "How about you?"
She took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. "I don't know," she admitted. "I'm not even sure what happened."
"What do you remember?" he asked, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. She inched over to give him room without even thinking about it. He absently took her hand and started playing with her fingers as she tried once more to recall what had happened.
"I was running," she remembered. "And I saw something. I don't even remember what. Next thing I knew you were behind me and telling me I was going to get a shot." She thought a moment more. "I think your dad was there, too."
Lee nodded, tracing one vein that went from her index finger up to her wrist, not making eye contact. "He was," he confirmed. "Anything else?"
She shook her head. "Just the fear. It's like waking up from a really bad nightmare. I know it was bad, but I can't remember what was bad about it; just how I felt, and afterwards being really tired."
Lee nodded, but offered nothing more than his presence. For a change, it wasn't enough. She needed to know.
"What happened?" she asked him.
He shook his head. "I wasn't there for all of it," he admitted. "My dad said you slammed into him when you were running and fell. When he tried to check on you, you kind of came apart. You were kicking and swinging, so he mostly stayed back so he wouldn't get hurt. There were some crew folks around from shift change, so he sent one of them for me. By the time I got there, you were a little edgy, still crying, but otherwise not too bad. Dad took your hands, I snuck in behind you, and held you until you got it together. That's when Salik showed up with the sedative."
"How many people saw it?" she asked, her face flushed hot with embarrassment.
"Dad sent everyone to duty sections," Lee told her. "There were three or four people in the hallway, but most just wanted to see what the screaming was about. You may get joked for a while about sleepwalking."
She smiled at that. "Maybe that's better," she thought aloud. "Sure as hell easier than explaining the truth."
"Which is?"
She looked up at him. "I don't really know. All I remember is the fear, and then you being there, and me feeling really stupid but too tired to do anything about it."
It was a long moment before he asked, "How are you feeling now? Really."
She thought about it, but she wouldn't lie to him. "Scared stupid," she admitted. "I was grounded before. If I'm crazy, they'll take my wings permanently."
Lee shook his head. "You aren't crazy. The doc thinks it's probably emotional stuff left over from the attack. He's going to get someone over here from the Lenna Dell to check on you."
"The hospital ship?" she asked in confusion.
"I guess that's where they're housing the resident experts," he explained. "He's sending for a trauma specialist for you, and a physical therapist for me. I didn't even know we had those left," he added with a shrug. "Neither one of us are on the duty roster in the near future."
"But you're fine!"
"No," he corrected, looking her squarely in the eye for the first time since his return. "I'm not. With the pain-killers it's better, but that's not a solution. There was more damage to the muscle than Salik thought, and if we don't start some kind of therapy it's never going to be right, and I won't be able to fly. I may not like the treatment, but in the long run it's what I need. I'm either grounded now until we get it healed, or I'll do more damage and get pulled altogether, probably even lose my commission."
She knew he could have added that she needed treatment to, but at least he was polite enough not to say it in so many words. She had proven without a doubt that everything was not fine with her, and she realized she couldn't make it that way through simple power of will. It was a sobering thought; nearly as sobering as the thought of being in the military without Lee to lean on.
"Does he know how long until you'll be better?" she asked softly. It was easier to look at his restriction from duty than hers.
"No," he admitted. "And I've probably got it all out of proportion because I can always work CIC, but you know I hate desk work."
"I know," she admitted, giving his hand a squeeze for a change. "But I'm glad they're going to treat it before it damages your career. Or you, for that matter."
"Salik checked me over pretty thoroughly," Lee told her. "He said that if he couldn't trust me to be honest about your condition, he couldn't trust me to be honest about mine. Found out a few things I'd rather he hadn't, but in the long run it's better this way. I got chewed out royally for not reporting to him directly after the mission. You can expect that, too. We both know it's standard procedure to get checked after an away trip."
"I didn't want to answer the questions," she admitted.
"Well, he knows now. He checked you over pretty thoroughly when he got you down here. I got quite the compliment on my first aid skills," Lee told her with a slight grin. "And then reamed out for not bringing you right back to the Galactica. My dad called me on the same thing. I wasn't doing either of us any favors by trying to hide the truth."
"I guess not," she said quietly. "I just didn't want to face any of it. I thought it would just go away if I didn't think about it."
"Things like that don't go away," he reminded her. "They just get bigger. I knew that. I knew it when I was doing the exact opposite of what I should have. But at the time I justified it by saying that you wanted it that way, and so I let myself be selfish."
"Selfish?"
"I didn't want to send you back any more than you wanted to come," he admitted. "I liked thinking that I was enough to make you better. It was my fault you got so pissed off that you went out there, and my fault I was so out-of-it that I didn't even wake up until you'd been gone for God knows how long. I felt like it was my fault, so I wanted to fix it."
"I thought you said it wasn't anyone's fault except that bastard that did it," she reminded him.
"Yeah, well it's easier to believe that when you're the one being hard on yourself. You'd been through enough."
"But you were right," she whispered, turning her hand over to grasp his. "Neither one of us is without responsibility, but we're not guilty either."
"You going to remember that?" he asked her softly.
"I'll try."
"So, how do you feel about moving back into quarters after this?"
She grimaced, but didn't answer. She didn't have to.
"That's what I thought," he told her with what was almost a full smile. "I've got something to ask you, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Just don't tell me no' unless you think about it first. Promise?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked. "Anything with that big of a buildup can't be good."
"I want to be selfish again," he admitted, and she could have sworn his cheeks were pinker than they should have been. "But I don't want you to take this the wrong way."
"Take what? You haven't said anything."
"It looks like I'm going to be office-bound for the near future," he admitted. "I asked if my dad could arrange an office outside CIC. He'd offered before, with all the CAG stuff and me hating to be in there, but I turned him down because of the space."
"And?"
"And, I decided to take him up on the offer," Lee said simply. "So I'll be moving out of squadron quarters in the next couple of days. I get to get rid of the top bunk, and maybe even get a bathroom that I don't have to share with twenty of my closest friends."
She tried not to be jealous. She wasn't very successful. "What does that have to do with me?"
His head cocked sideways as he reached up to smack her on the arm. "You don't make anything easy, do you?"
"What?" she asked with a grin, but she thought she had a good idea of where this was going.
"We've roomed together before," he reminded her. "I don't snore, and you don't hog the bed. If you're up for it, I'd be happy to share space again."
She thought about that for a moment. "You want me to move in with you?"
"You make it sound wrong," he told her with a furrowed brow.
"I make it sound like it will to everyone we know. I know what you mean, Lee. And you know the flak we took at the academy for bunking together. Here, they know us, and there's no getting away from what people will say. You've heard the whispers just since I've spent a couple of mornings down on the bottom with you. It'll be worse if we take it to a private room."
"Do you care?" he asked gently.
"Hell, I don't know," she admitted. "It's all pretty confused for the moment. I'm the one that was a basket case a few hours ago, remember?"
"Yeah," he told her softly. "I remember. And there's no rush to make the decision. I need the office either way, and I can move out with or without you. Or I can stay put, and just work there. I guess I just wanted you to have the option. It's worked for us before."
"Maybe. I'll think about it," she offered. "Something tells me I shouldn't be making any life altering decisions right now."
He grinned at her. "That's the most sensible thing I've heard in a while. The offer isn't going anywhere, and if you want me close I can stay in your bunk. You're holding the cards, Kara."
"Gee, thanks," she muttered. But she did feel better. She'd always been good with cards.
"I know you have a lot on your mind, but can I just say something? No strings, and no pressure, but just say something to you?"
"Go ahead," she allowed.
"I care about you," he said simply. He lifted her hand to his lips, and kissed the palm gently. "I guess my world is a little better with you in it. I'm still not exactly how you're in it," he said with a grin. "But you're here, and that feels right. And maybe we'll always just be friends, or maybe something else will happen, but either way I want you to know that I think you're pretty terrific. No joke, no line, and no strings. I guess I just want to keep you close."
She couldn't help but smile at the sweet expression on his face. And the best part was that she knew him well enough to know that he was being totally honest. He would let her take this at her own speed, and if or when she caught up he would be there waiting. He always had been.
"You're pretty special," she said with a smile that bordered on flipping upside down.
He gave a shrug, but kept her hand in his. And after a few minutes of sitting that way, him on the edge of her bed with her hand in his, she scooted over and gave him a little more space. He took the silent invitation, moving onto the bed and putting his legs alongside hers. Shifting carefully, he slipped one arm behind her to hold her close, and she turned to lay her head on his shoulder.
"Nice," he commented softly.
"Very," she agreed.
Kara wasn't sure how long they lay that way, but it was long enough for her to get warm and drowsy, and for his breathing to get deep and regular. She didn't think he was sleeping, but it was a near thing.
"Comfortable?" a deep voice asked.
Both of them turned quickly towards that voice. Kara didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't know if she should try to scoot away, or just ignore the doctor and relax. Taking her cue from Lee, she did the latter.
"At least you're getting the weight off that leg," he remarked to Lee as he approached the bed. He walked to the opposite side with his clipboard in hand, then set it on the table that was beside her bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked her simply.
"That seems to be the question of the day," she sighed, laying her head back down on Lee's shoulder and holding on a little tighter than was probably appropriate. She was in trouble, and she knew it, and it was just a little easier to manage with a friend close by.
"Now how about giving me an answer," he suggested.
"I feel okay," she told him. "A little foolish, and a lot annoyed at being here, but I know I did it to myself."
"Would you care to tell me why you weren't in my office a week ago? That's about right, isn't it? Judging from the healing of the bruises, I'd say this started six to eight days ago, give or take."
"Eight," she replied. "I thought I could handle it. I asked Apollo not to report it."
The doctor spared a glare for Lee, but kept most of his attention focused on her. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"
"I'm getting an idea," she remarked with more than a little sarcasm. She saw Lee smile at the remark, and then duck his head to hide it. Someone didn't want to get on the doctor's bad side after all, she decided.
"Most of the bruising is healed, but much of it was deep tissue, and could have been dangerous. There could have been blood clots, embolisms, or vessel damage of a number of sorts. The cuts healed without infection, or mostly, but many will scar. That wouldn't have happened if I'd sutured them. And as for the emotional repercussions, I think you realize that you won't be back on duty until you clear a full psychiatric profile. I'll have a trauma specialist here by tomorrow."
"Yes, Sir," she said simply.
"No argument?" he asked with raised eyebrows. "You don't know better than the entire colonial fleet regarding management of this situation?"
"No, Sir," she told him, getting tired of the discussion because she didn't know what was sarcasm and what wasn't.
"Well, then you may just have learned something," he granted. "As for tonight, I have two options for you. The first is that you send your Captain here back to bed and stay here to get some sleep. I'd imagine you haven't had a great deal beyond that which my medication and I insisted upon."
"And the other?" she prompted.
The man sighed, looked over the two of them for a moment and then crossed his arms. "The second option is to have this Captain of yours go find enough of a uniform to get you back to quarters in," he admitted. "And you get some sleep there. Either way, you'll note that the sleep' part of the order is not negotiable."
Kara looked at Lee for a moment. "I'll go back to quarters," she decided. "I've got friends there, and if I stay here they'll worry."
"That you do," Salik told her with a reluctant smile. "I must have had twenty people in my office this morning demanding to know when you'd be back. I told them all to go away."
"Really?" she asked, the genuine confusion in her voice apparent.
"Really," he told her. "So in the interest of getting some order in this place, go ahead and send him for some clothes, and we'll get you checked out. There is one condition, however," he added changing his focus to Lee.
"Yes, Sir?"
"She is not to be left unattended. You take her out of here, and she's your responsibility until she reports back tomorrow for evaluation."
Lee smiled down at her. "I can handle that."
"Lieutenant Thrace?"
"Fine by me," she agreed. "Just go get me some clothes."