Chapter 14
Kara Thrace couldn't keep the smile off her face. Given the long night filled with deep discussion and life-altering possibilities, that was saying something. She was practically jumping out of her skin as she waited for the end of nothing but a routine fleet patrol. It wasn't even a major patrol —just Lee and Oscar making a simple check of the fleet for gas leaks and external wear, but she was still going crazy.
This was Lee's first time in a Viper in over six months, and she couldn't wait to see his face. A couple of weeks back, she'd had the same experience, and the adrenaline then hadn't been much lower than what she was feeling for her friend. They were of a kind, the two of them. They needed to fly. If they didn't, life just didn't have meaning. It was a cliché, but she couldn't deny the truth of it.
"How long?" the Commander asked her softly. She almost jumped at the familiar voice.
"He's on schedule. Ten more minutes."
William Adama smiled. "Has he ever not been on schedule?" he asked wryly.
Kara's smile widened, if that was possible. He had a point. When it came to flying, Lee was as by-the-book as she was instinctual. She didn't really mind, though. They complimented one another. She was just disappointed that they wouldn't be flying together in the future. She had understood the reasons for that even as she had argued with both the Commander and Colonel Tigh, but the end result was the same. Siblings, spouses, and known lovers could not fly as a team. They might one day launch together as part of a squadron, however their days of being one another's shadows were over.
But Kara wasn't his sister, although she had grown up that way. And she certainly wasn't married to him, although they sometimes acted like it. As for lovers, it was kind of hard to argue that fact when they'd been caught in the same bed together by most of her squadron and Lee's own father.
Kara couldn't help but wince as she remembered when she'd discovered out that they had been found out. Now that had been a fun morning. She remembered vividly the morning after she'd brought Lee out of the Life Station following his run-in with a Cylon blaster. They'd both been so damn tired after everything that had happened, from the emotions as well as the physical exertion, that when he had taken her lower bunk as a concession to his injured leg he had simply tugged her in beside him. Well, it had been a little more complicated than that, but not much. The bottom line was that they had curled up in broad daylight in the squadron quarters to catch a much needed nap. Neither had expected to sleep through the day and the night that way.
Likewise, neither could have predicted the eldest Adama coming to check on his son. He wasn't known for dropping by squadron quarters, instead preferring to let his teams have someplace where they weren't inherently under command. She supposed she should have considered it, even if Lee hadn't. When they had awoken, they'd been so closely entwined that even she had been a little embarrassed. The covers had been over them, but his hand had been inside her shirt and around her back, and her knee had been tucked tightly between his legs. She didn't even remember turning over, but with her head tucked into his neck, they must have made quite a sight. She had realized that much from the few snickers and a couple of jealous looks from the female squad members. That part had been almost fun.
What hadn't been fun had was that morning when she reported to CIC. She got a couple of weird looks from Tigh — kind of sideways glances that she attributed to his saving her ass — but she hadn't connected it. She should have. She knew that the Commander told his XO just about everything. It was the kind of friendship they had, and had always had. She could even remember Tigh being at the house when she'd still been in grade school, although even back then she couldn't imagine the uptight man with the gorgeous wife in the cockpit of a Viper.
So Tigh had been giving her looks — something she wasn't unaccustomed to — and she had pointedly ignored him. Instead, she had reported to Adama. She had known she was in trouble from the look in his eye as he assigned her to a desk up near Dee. She had thought it was because she was in so much trouble, but as she'd turned to go to the desk he had called her back.
"How'd you sleep, Starbuck?"
If it hadn't been for the wink, she would have been petrified. As it was, she had blushed crimson in front of all CIC for the first time in history as she stuttered a very quiet, "Fine."
He knew. She had known then, somehow, that he knew. She had called him on it later, not willing to put either of them in the position of discussing it in CIC. She had actually been worried, if the truth were known. Adama was old fashioned in a lot of ways, and she and Lee both had set through about a thousand lectures on "the responsibilities of being an adult" when they'd been getting ready to leave for the academy. Finding his son in bed with any woman outside of marriage — but especially in such an obvious location — had a good chance of damaging the newfound trust that he and Lee were establishing.
"We were just sleeping, Sir," she had explained with her eyes firmly stuck on his collar. "He couldn't get to the top bunk, and so he was on mine, and"
"I know."
She had looked up then to meet his eyes, and thankfully they hadn't been filled with the condemnation she had feared. Instead, he'd looked for all the world like he had been enjoying the joke.
"You know?"
"Well, I figured," he had said with the shrug of a shoulder. "You're both adults, you know. That doesn't mean I won't reserve the right of a father to give both of you a hard time about it."
It was a joke. He'd been joking. Oh Lords, that had been what Tigh was so pointed about in his amused look earlier that morning. Adama must have shared the joke.
"It won't happen again," she had stammered, still not sure what he was thinking or where she stood.
At that point he had broken into a full-scale smile. "Then just what are your intentions toward my son?" he had asked her just shy of a laugh.
She had been floored, but rather than answering she had joined him in the laughter that the situation seemed to call for.
He had been okay with it, whatever they decided. That had made her feel a little better about letting it happen again. After all, if the commander had given his approval — Lee's father or not — then how guilty could she be?
"You don't have to answer that," he had told her as he wiped tears from the laughing fit. "But feel free to answer if you like. It might give an old man some hope."
"We're friends," she had told him. "For now that's enough."
He had nodded, and she had tried to convince herself that what had been in his eyes hadn't been disappointment. That had been just over two years after her losing Zak, and she hadn't been ready to consider anything else. A part of her was surprised that he was. She had been clueless then what Lee's feelings might be.
Now she had a clue, and wasn't sure what to do with the information. He had all but spelled out that he was ready for more than friendship, and she didn't know just how she felt about that. If she were to get involved with anyone, she couldn't imagine anyone other than Lee, and that bothered her. After all, she had thought she couldn't be with anyone except Zak, and as much as he was like his brother, Lee was just as different from him. They shared an innate goodness and affection, but their approaches to life were dead opposite. How could she fall in love with both of them?
Had she fallen in love? She had spent so much time convincing everyone else that they were friends that she wasn't sure if she might not be trying to convince herself. She had a natural curiosity, of course. He was damn fine to look at, in uniform or out, and a girl had to appreciate that much if nothing else. But she didn't mind keeping her eyes closed either, because how he felt was even better than how he looked. It was all confusing the hell out of her. How did anyone change their entire perspective on a man after twenty years together? Was it even a good idea to try?
"Viper two-eight-six, I have the ball."
Kara looked up from her thoughts as Lee's voice came over the speaker. It was the warning that she'd asked Shooter for, and he had obliged. Lee was coming in. This was going to be good.
"Everyone ready?" she called out, the excitement in her voice helping it carry to all areas of the hanger bay. There were a couple dozen nods of assent, and some laughter and verbal agreements as well. There were thirty five people gathered around the lift that would bring their CAG down from the landing bay. She couldn't wait to see his face.
As much as he tried to avoid it, Lee needed people. It had taken him years to really start to make friends on the Galactica, and truthfully it had been his incapacitation from the injury that had made it a possibility. Before then, he'd been too busy either flying or giving orders to bother to look around him. He had come in at a disadvantage, ranking higher than the other pilots and not having as much time on the Galactica. Add to that his reserved personality and being the Commander's eldest son, and most of the pilots had nearly hid in fear. It was bad enough to have a new CAG that you didn't know — Lords knew what he would assign you to if you offended him — but to have that man a spy for the Commander as well? No, he hadn't been popular.
Thankfully, after so many had risked so much to get him home on no more than Kara's desperate declarations of his being alive, he had looked around at his people with new eyes. Maybe it was that he had more time when he wasn't flying. Or maybe he had just finally realized that he couldn't do it alone. Kara had no idea, but she was thrilled with the folks that had come forward to help out, hang banners, and bring food to celebrate that their CAG was back in the air. They might not understand truly what it had done to Lee to be grounded, but most of them knew that he belonged in the sky. That was something.
The lift slowly descended from the landing bay above with Lee on board. To their right, a second lift was bringing Oscar down as well. He didn't know about the celebration, but Kara hoped he would figure it out quickly enough. When Lee's canopy popped, it wasn't one of the deck gang that climbed up the ladder to take his helmet and collar, but Kara instead. She wanted to see his face when he realized what was happening.
Lee looked a little sweaty, and maybe a little tense as he reached up without really looking to pass his helmet to her. She knew the feeling. Actions that had been second nature were rusty after six months without use, and landing a Viper on a moving flight deck was never a thoughtless act. "How'd it go?" she asked him, pulling his attention up to her.
"Fine," he told her, surprise evident as he realized she was there. "What are you doing here?"
"Checking to make sure you haven't done any damage to my Viper," she replied with a grin. He just reached up and punched her in the shoulder for that one.
"Thanks for the confidence," he muttered without heat. They knew each other's versions of humor too well for any offense to be taken on either side.
"Any problems?" she asked as she handed him the clearance clipboard to record final mission findings.
"All's well," he replied absently, still oblivious to the activity occurring six feet below him.
"Good, so you have a few minutes then?" she asked, her voice trying for an honest concern when what she wanted was to start laughing. He really couldn't see past the nose on his face some days. He was so tied up with that report that he was clueless. This was more fun than she had planned.
"Sure," he replied absently, tapping keys on the board while she reached for his collar and removed it. "What's up?"
"Just a minor party," she remarked casually.
It took a moment for the words to register. "Huh?"
"Look around, Stupid," she finally said, her grin slipping through despite her best efforts.
He did. She watched as he finally focused outside the Viper at the quiet but visually impressive display of the entire squadron — flight and deck crews both — gathered in a circle around him. All were at attention, save those holding the makeshift sign that declared, "Welcome Back Apollo."
He didn't say a word, simply eased himself up in the seat to look around. She kept waiting for the smile that she was that she was sure to come, but it didn't seem to be able to get past the shock of thirty-five people staring at him expectantly.
"What" he began, but his voice trailed off. He just stared, and Kara started to get a little worried. She had thought he would be happy with the display of support from his crew, even if it was only his immediate squadron.
"We just wanted to welcome you back," she told him simply, her smile fading somewhat. "Let you know that we're glad you're back in the air."
He was still looking stunned, but gradually his glance came back to her. "You did this?" he asked in a voice that was almost solemn.
"Not by myself," she admitted.
He shook his head in disbelief. "Why would they" he started again, but once more his voice failed. Finally he looked up at Kara, and she could see that his confusion was genuine. "What do I do?"
She paused a moment, and in just that short of a time, her heart melted. He was the Commander's son. He was in charge of all of them. He was their fearless leader, and yet he had no clue what to do about a normal display of friendship and support. He was more isolated socially than could be believed, for him to be so far on the inside of the command circle. Yes, he could lead, but he had no clue how to join. "You get out of the Viper," she told with a catch in her voice. "And then you say thank you'."
He did as she told him. He got up from the Viper seat, followed her down the ladder, and thanked the crew. If he seemed just a little stiff, and his smile a bit uncertain, then Kara didn't think that anyone noticed except for her.
Once that initial hurdle was over, the rest of the party went fine. The deck crew was a little quick in gobbling their food before heading to check the Viper, but they didn't seem to be in fear of Lee, but rather concerned that their jobs get done efficiently. Kara noted the smile on his face as each one shook his hand before leaving the party, and she saw the surprise too. He really hadn't expected this.
Each person who stepped forward to speak to him seemed to bring the walls down a little further. Within half an hour he looked relaxed, and within an hour he was joking like one of the guys. It was something she hadn't ever really seen him do before.
Lee had always been above and apart. She knew a lot of it was natural reserve, but even more was a fear that he wouldn't do exactly the right thing. Growing up as the eldest son of a living legend hadn't always been easy for him. He had also had the responsibilities of looking out for his mom, his brother, and even her in his father's frequent absences. He'd been a grown-up far too soon for his own good, and he'd never really learned how to relate. One of the disadvantages to leading was that you always had to keep a certain distance between yourself and those you had to command. Lee had always been a step beyond that; he didn't really look down on his crew, but he definitely stood above them.
His father was very similar, and yet the reserve was tempered by years of experience in dealing with those under him. William Adama commanded respect yes, but he was not unapproachable. Lee hadn't learned that fine line. Maybe it was because he didn't have the age or experience that should have gone with his rank. Maybe it was just that he couldn't do anything half way. Kara didn't know for sure, but she did know that today had been a big step towards reaching down to his team. This party had accomplished what two years in crew quarters had not; he was one of them.
For her part, Kara just stood back and watched. He really didn't need her as a bridge to the crew any longer. She would still have to step in on occasion; she was sure of that. But she didn't need to hold his hand now to get him to talk to them. She might have helped him with matching names to faces and jobs to men, but she didn't need to help him now. He was doing just fine.
"This was a good idea."
Kara looked over her shoulder at her Commander. The look of pride on his face hadn't been any been greater when he'd presented his son with the Gold Cluster. "I think he's enjoying it," she agreed.
"That, too," Adama said quietly.
"He'll do fine," she assured him. "They've learned to like him pretty well. Ripper was a hard act to follow, and the circumstances weren't exactly ideal."
"I don't think they would have given you as hard a time, though," he said thoughtfully. "You're good with people. There were times I wished that you had the rank to be put above him."
She shook her head at that. "He's the leader," she said softly.
When she had told his father about her idea for a party, he had been initially reluctant. He didn't want it to appear that he was showing favoritism to his son. When Kara had explained about his tentative acceptance by the crew, and told him that this might be an opportunity to cement a few friendships, he had consented on the condition that he was allowed to peek in. She supposed he needed to see it for himself.
And he had. Adama had slipped in just before the landing, then had quietly faded into the background. It was quite an accomplishment for a Battlestar Commander. It wasn't as though he could go unrecognized. But he had hung back specifically so as not to make any of the crew uncomfortable and yet still show his support of his son and the party itself. She really didn't know how he managed it.
Now he had slipped up behind her and had caught her doing the same thing: watching his son make some friends. She guessed that he had needed to see it as much as she had.
"I need to get back to CIC," he told her quietly. "Will you let him know I was here?"
"No," she said simply. "Let him know yourself. There's no regulation against you coming to a party just because he's your son. If it were any other CAG returned to flight status after six months, you would have been the one organizing the party. Don't turn it into favoritism in reverse."
"In reverse?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.
"You know what I mean," she said as she waved off his argument. "Go tell him you're happy for him, and then you can go."
The grin on his face was reminiscent of years past when she would suggest something silly in childish innocence. But he wasn't arguing. In stead, he put one hand on her back, and pushed her before him as he approached his son. Great, now she was feeling more like a buffer for the Commander than for his son. Why was it she put up with the Adamas?
"Sir?" Lee said, his head coming around as he sensed his father's approach. It was like radar the way they kept track of one another. She wondered if they would ever realize just how alike they were.
"Just wanted to congratulate you," he said softly as he stepped around Kara to shake his son's hand. "And to tell you I'm more than a little jealous. I'd love to be back in that cockpit some days."
"Thank you," Lee said with a careful smile. "But if you're asking to go on the roster, I'm going to have to turn you down."
There was laughter at that remark, from the men around them as well as his father. "Enjoy it," he told Lee gently. "There's nothing like flying."
"I know," Lee answered. "I will."
Adama nodded and looked like he was ready to leave. Kara wanted to punch the both of them. To hell with the crew and appearances and every other damn thing; this had gotten ridiculous. She rolled her eyes, and not so casually gave her Commander a gentle push. It wouldn't occur to her until much later that she was one of the few people who could get away with it. But she did, and when he looked back at her with a question on his face, she gave a general little gesture towards Lee and glared.
A few men around them laughed at the obvious hint, but the eldest Adama got the message. He took one step forward and put an arm around his son's shoulders, giving a quick, hard hug. "I'm proud of you," he said very softly, and then released Lee and left the bay with a dignity that was impossible to fake. This was his ship. He had nothing to apologize for. Kara's eyes stayed on Lee however, as he swallowed a few times with more effort than might have been necessary.
The crew, bless them, didn't even blink at the rare display of masculine affection from their Commander. They simply turned back to Lee and continued their conversations as though the interruption hadn't occurred. Kara kept her place there with the group, listening without really interacting, and just enjoying when Lee did.
The party went on until Lee threatened to fall asleep on his feet. Then he worked beside them to clean up the mess and return the borrowed tables to their correct storage location. After that the two of them worked to return the bay to its previous immaculate condition. Cally finally came in to run them off, telling them that she'd never get any order if they didn't just go away. With a good deal of laughter, they did.
Kara knew she should head back to quarters. She was flying in a few hours, and if she wanted any rest before then she needed to get to it. But there was something peaceful about Lee's mood that she didn't want to disrupt, so she stayed beside him as they walked past pilot's quarters to his office. He ushered her before him, and she stepped in just before he did so, then closed the hatch behind them.
"Thanks," he said simply, slipping his arms around her from behind and setting his chin on top of her head. "That was nice."
"It was," she admitted softly. "You looked like you had a good time. I know the team did."
"They're a good group."
"I know," she told him. "I think they do too. It wouldn't hurt to tell them occasionally, though."
"Point taken," he agreed. But he didn't let her go, and he didn't turn her around. She wasn't sure what he was up to.
"You still awake up there?" she asked as she ducked her head to turn in his arms. He let her, giving her a soft smile that showed the same relief she'd felt when she'd made her first flight. It was a relief almost as deep as what she was feeling now.
"I'm fine."
"You're one of them now, you know," she said softly. "But then, it's about time. You can't lead from the outside."
"I'm learning that," he said. "But change is hard."
She grinned. She knew that well. "Change may be hard," she said very softly, moving up on her toes to bring her eyes level with his. "But it's inevitable." And with that said, she kissed him.
His arms came around her and he kissed her back, and this time there wasn't anything gentle about it. He wasn't rough, but there was an urgency there that she hadn't felt before. Perhaps it was a remnant of the exertion of flight, or just the relief of being accepted by his peers, but Lee was definitely not holding anything back. Kara found that she didn't mind. After all, one could not combat inevitable changes.
The end J