Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the title. I own only the plot and maybe a few characters. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Author's Note: I realize that at the end of the 5th book the mirror was shattered, and Harry is now using it. In case anyone was wondering a simple reparo spell was used to restore the mirror to it's original condition.
Also I would like to thank my editor, Alicia! (Yes, I have an editor, I'm best at writing she's best at editing, it's fun!). Thanks Licia!!
Chapter two: Guilt and Assurance
"Who?" Harry questioned Mundungus Fletcher.
"Hin Chang, I think you go to school with his daughter." He said.
Harry sighed, "Cho?"
"Yeah, that's it, that's her name, Cho," Mundungus said.
"Not only do I know her, I dated her," Harry said.
"Oooh," he said. "She'll be at the Order part of the time,"
"Noooo!!!" Harry groaned.
"Hold on!!" Mundungus quickly said, clearly taken aback by Harry's harsh reaction, "she won't be there all the time though, just to visit her dad once in awhile when her dad's not on duty; he won't be able to return to his home often.
"Thank goodness," said Harry. He did not want to have to deal with Cho, even if they weren't dating anymore, he didn't wanting her bombarding him with questions about Cedric Diggory, "So what other news?"
"Oh, nothing much, like I said, Ron and Hermione are looking forward to seeing you again, though, we have a new member,"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Harry sighed impatiently. "Any news about the veil?"
"What do you mean, any news on the veil?"
"The veil that S-Sirius fell through, any new developments on how the veil works?"
"Uh…no?"
Harry sighed again, "You are absolutely no help, you know that?"
Mundungus backed up, "Well sorry 'arry, I know nothin', I didn't know there was a secret to be solved."
"Well, there is, I'm sure of it," Harry said, "Sirius isn't dead. He can't be, I'll figure out the secret."
"Whatever you say, Harry," said Mundungus gazing out the window. "Whatever you say."
Harry returned home shortly after that, just before Dudley did. He was actually quite glad that he had gone to Mrs. Figg's. He'd been comforted somewhat and informed slightly. He went upstairs, showered and climbed into bed, pushing his charms essay aside. Instead, he picked up his History of Magic book (something he rarely did) and flipped it open. He decided to skim it from beginning to end hoping to find something about the veil. He didn't have many resources and there had to be something about it in there. He skimmed and read and skimmed and read until he could skim and read no more and his eyes closed and he drifted into a peaceful sleep…for once, completely forgetting about his search for the time being.
The next morning he was rudely awakened by Aunt Petunia's snapping. "Boy! Get down here! There's a bloody owl in the kitchen pecking at all the toast!"
Harry jumped out of bed, put his glasses on and rushed downstairs. The owl was sitting at the table, doing exactly what Aunt Petunia had said it was doing, eating the toast. Harry untied the letter from its leg and then watched it fly off. He opened the letter to discover that it contained his O.W.L. scores. Shakily, he unfolded the parchment.
Mr. Harry Potter.
We are pleased to inform you that we have completed your O.W.L. assessments and have listed your scores below. Following them is a list of possible career choices available for those within your score range...
Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations
Charms: Outstanding
Potions: Outstanding
Upon reading this, Harry gasped in shock. He looked down and continued reading…
Herbology: Exceeds Expectations
History of Magic: Dreadful
Divination: Poor
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Outstanding
Care of Magical Creatures: Exceeds Expectations
Astronomy: Acceptable
Number of O.W.L.S.: 7
Possible Careers: Auror, Healer…
Harry stopped reading and grinned. He had done it. He had managed to get an Outstanding in Potions. How, he didn't know. Now he could be in the N.E.W.T. potions class.
"What are you grinning about?" Aunt Petunia questioned.
"Oh nothing... I just did quite well on my O.W.L.S." Harry responded.
"Your what?"
"O.W.L.S. It's an exam every 5th year at my school has to take, and I've done extremely well."
"Wow, Potter's actually got some brains, is that what I'm hearing?" Dudley said, sauntering into the kitchen.
"Quite a few more than you do," Harry shot back at him.
"Mummy, Harry's calling me stupid." Dudley whined
"You're not stupid, ickle Dudlikins," Aunt Petunia babied him, and then turned to Harry, "Go to your room, I don't really care what you got on your stupid exam."
Dudley grinned at him mischievously from Aunt Petunia's arms. Harry shrugged and turned around. It didn't matter what Dudley said, or that he had to go to his room. He was in high spirits. He would be leaving sooner than he thought, he did well on his O.W.L.S., and he was feeling considerably better than he had all summer. He bounded up the stairs two at a time and flopped on his bed. Having forgotten how tired he still was, he immediately fell asleep.
"It's your fault, Harry, you killed him," Lupin shouted. "If you hadn't stopped taking Occlumency, if you hadn't insulted Severus like you did by invading his personal space, you could have continued lessons. Not that you cared, though, huh? You never even tried!!"
"And what about the mirror?" Tonks yelled, "If you hadn't been so stubborn, you would have found the mirror and used it. Then Sirius wouldn't be dead!!"
"I didn't know!" cried Harry, "It was an honest mistake, all of it!"
"A mistake that killed someone, you can't make those types of mistakes!" Lupin cried.
"Now, we'll have to kill you." Tonks said.
"No! No, please don't," Harry pleaded. "I didn't mean too, I didn't want him to die!"
"To bad," snarled Fred, or was it George. They both entered the scene. "You should've thought about that last year.
Soon Lupin, Tonks, George, Fred, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Bill, Charlie, Ginny, Mundungus, Mrs. Figg, and Dedalus Diggle were all pushing him back. Then Hermione and Ron appeared.
"Hermione, Ron, you'll tell them I'm innocent, won't you?"
"Sorry mate," said Ron, "you killed him."
"As good as murdered him," Hermione added.
They all kept pushing Harry back until he was at the edge of a strange cliff. He looked behind and below and saw there was a pit of snakes. Looking fearfully at the group he begged, "Please, I'm sorry."
"Not as sorry as you should be," said Lupin as he pushed Harry. Harry was falling, falling, falling…"
Harry woke up with a start with beads of sweat running down his face. It was just a dream. A true dream, he realized. He had killed Sirius; it was all his fault. If he had continued Occlumency, if he had opened the mirror, Sirius would still be alive. He buried his head in his pillow and began to cry. He basically murdered Sirius, and Sirius would hate him forever.
The rest of that day and over the next few days, Harry moped around in his room. He didn't eat and he hardly slept, completely forgetting about his homework. All he could think of was how he had murdered Sirius. It was all his fault.
Three days later, a knock sounded at his door. He reluctantly got up and opened it to find Aunt Petunia standing there.
"What have you been doing up here?"
"N-nothing, Aunt Petunia, just thinking," Harry answered.
"Well, you haven't eaten in days. They're gonna think we're starving you, so you better eat." She set down a bowl of macaroni and cheese on the floor by the door. "Eat."
She turned around and left. Suddenly Harry's stomach growled and he realized that he was very hungry. He scarfed down all of his dinner and was about to return to his bed in pity of himself when an owl soared through his window. It was Pig, and tied to his leg was a letter from Ron. Harry untied it, and gave Pig a treat. Then, trembling, he opened the letter.
Dear Harry,
How've you been? Well, I guess that's a stupid question, how could you be, eh? Dad says you went to Mrs. Figg's and were feeling better. However, all of your guardians who have been watching over you say that you've been in your room hiding out for the past three days. Is this true? Why? They say they've heard you through your window talking to yourself mumbling 'it's all my fault'. Harry, if you're feeling guilty, know this: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. Dad says Dumbledore said you can come over in a week. I look forward to seeing you. Cheer up mate. Things will get better, trust me.
Ron
Harry folded the letter back up. He didn't care what Ron said, it was his fault, everything that happens, happens because of someone, and obviously this was one of those times. Harry sighed. At least he would be leaving soon, and if it was the same as last summer, the Order would keep him occupied.
Of course, then again, Sirius wouldn't be there, which would just ruin everything. He wouldn't be able to bear being anywhere Sirius had been. Harry fell upon his bed and wept.
The next few days, Harry began to creep out of his room a little. Though he claimed that the letter made no difference, it had affected his subconscious, thus causing him less guilt. However, there wasn't a second of the day when he wasn't thinking of Sirius, not one, except the day before he was supposed to leave, when he received a letter from Lupin.
Dear Harry,
I know this probably isn't the best time to bring this up, considering you're suffering and all, however, having discussed this with Dumbledore and other members of the Order, we have decided that it would be best if you continued Occlumency. I know that you would rather not do this; I sure wouldn't want another class on top of me. This is where the next part comes in… You are going to study this during the summer. I will be your teacher, I happen to be very good at Occlumency. If you have any strong objections, please tell us. If not, we will begin the day after tomorrow. Take care Harry. See you tomorrow.
Remus
Harry couldn't believe his eyes. More Occlumency? And in the summer? This could not be happening. However a voice in the back of his mind told him that it would be for the best. Harry sighed, folded the letter and went back to packing and thinking about Sirius.
The next day arrived quickly. Harry was completely packed and ready by the time Mr. Weasley arrived to pick him up at ten that morning.
Pop.
"Hello Harry, how are you?" Mr. Weasley asked.
Harry shrugged.
"I see, well, not to worry, we'll be home soon and I'm sure that will cheer you right up."
Home, that's what it was home. Harry, for the first time in awhile, felt a little flutter of excitement in his chest. He was going home.
"We've got the floo-network this time, not for long though, so hurry up now!" Mr. Weasley held out a bag of floo powder.
Harry reached in, grabbed a handful and turned to the Dursleys, "Well then, so long." And with that he turned, grabbed his trunk, lugged it over into the fireplace, threw the floo-powder down and yelled "Number 12 Grimmauld Place". A second later, he was gone. (A.N. the Dursleys did not hear the address)
Harry stumbled out of the fireplace to see all the Weasleys, excluding Percy, Lupin, Tonks and Moody waiting for him.
"Harry!" Ron ran over to him and nearly toppled him, "How are ya, mate?"
"Fine," Harry responded, "and you?"
"Quite well! It's so good to see you."
"You too, where's Hermione?" Harry questioned, noticing Hermione wasn't around.
"Oh, she's on a trip with her family in Rome. I think they're also stopping in Bulgaria to visit Vicky." Ron said, "She'll be here around July 28th I believe."
"So it'll be just us guys for a bit?"
"Yup, and Ginny." He lowered his head a bit, "when she's not out with Dean."
"Oh shut up Ron," Ginny play shoved him as she reached up to give Harry a hug, "Welcome back Harry." Then she stepped back and said matter-a-factly, "Ron still doesn't approve of Dean, though he has admitted he's better than Michael." She smiled sweetly at Ron.
"Oh come off it," Ron said.
"You started it!" Ginny said.
"No, I…" Harry heard Ron saying as he walked over to Mrs. Weasley.
"Oh Harry dear, are you all right? Did they treat you well? Oh I missed you terribly," she fussed over him.
"Yeah, I'm fine, they treated me well." Harry responded.
Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and Moody all said hello and shook his hand when he walked by. When he got to Tonks, she insisted on giving him a hug. When Harry reached Lupin he looked up at him.
"Oh Harry," Lupin said pulling Harry into a hug and then releasing him, "How are you?"
Harry shrugged.
"I understand completely. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm right here." Lupin said.
Harry felt as if he should apologize for Sirius' death, but no words came out. Instead he smiled and nodded and walked away.
"Come on Harry!" Ron called. "Let's take your stuff upstairs!" So together Harry and Ron lugged his stuff up.
A few minutes later, they reached the top and dropped his trunk.
Ron wiped his brow then eyed Harry, "You all right?"
Harry began to nod, then shook his head. "It's my fault Ron, and you know it."
Ron folded his arms. "No Harry I don't believe I do. What makes you think it's your fault?"
"Well, I could've opened the mirror earlier…"
"And do you think Sirius would have had it with him? I bet not."
"Well, then I could've found Snape,"
"Then I guess I killed him too, I could've thought of that,"
"You didn't kill…"
"Then you didn't either,"
"Well, I could have studied Occlumency better and then I wouldn't have even had the dream."
"Harry, you're fifteen, you're human, Occlumency is hard and exhausting, Lupin told us. Also you're going to make mistakes. The only person who's at fault is Bellatrix and she's already been locked up."
"I want her dead," Harry said.
"Do you really think anyone deserves death? Death is not for us to decide, Harry,"
Harry shrugged, "Who have you been talking to anyways?"
"My mum, she always comes up with lots of things. The point is you're not at fault. Where'd you get that idea anyways? It certainly wasn't there before?"
Now Harry felt stupid, "I had a dream… and everyone here was trying to kill me because I killed Sirius."
"Now how could you have let that dream influence you? Haven't you learned anything recently? Don't listen to your dreams!! It was probably sent by Voldemort anyways, meant to weaken you or something."
Harry bowed his head, "Yeah, I was pretty stupid huh?"
Ron looked thoughtful for a moment, "Not stupid, you just act like a moron,"
"Hey!" Harry shouted
"Just kidding!" Ron said laughing, "I would have done the same thing. Now, I'm starving, wanna go eat?"
And together they raced to the kitchen for lunch.
Harry immediately could smell roast chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and all sorts of good food. "All this for lunch?" he asked Ron.
Ron shrugged, "I guess it's a welcome back meal for you or something". Sure enough, when they opened the door to the kitchen, there was a big sign that read 'Welcome back Harry!!" Harry grinned and sat down by Lupin.
"Well, you look happier than earlier," Lupin said.
Harry shrugged, "Yeah, well, Ron talked some sense into me."
"Ah yes, I see," Lupin nodded.
Mr. Weasley cleared his throat and everyone looked at him, "I would just like to say, welcome back Harry, it's so good to have you here."
Harry smiled, "Thank you,"
"And now, let's eat! Get a move on it!" Mrs. Weasley said, "I didn't make all this food for it to sit here!!"
Immediately everyone dug in. Harry was immediately reminded of what it was like to eat good food, and not the garbage the Dursleys fed him. He ate hungrily until he could eat no more.
That afternoon, Mr. Weasley, Harry, Ron and Ginny took a trip to the Burrow where they had planned to play Quidditch. Harry was worried about what broom he would use, but when he got there, he was surprised to see his Firebolt standing neatly by the door. A note from Dumbledore was attached to the handle.
Harry, I have retrieved your broom from the dungeons and sent it to the Weasleys. I dare say you'll want to practice for Quidditch season!!
The letter was followed by a comment from Mr. Weasley, "It appears your Quidditch ban has been erased, and Dumbledore is quite keen on seeing you play as seeker again, as is McGonagall."
"I'm going to try out for chaser this year," Ginny stated, "Since some of the other chasers are leaving."
"Good luck," Harry immediately responded.
Ginny smiled, "Thanks, shall we play then?"
Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Lupin and Tonks soon apparated around them with brooms and supplies. Soon a rowdy game of Quidditch was underway.
The teams consisted of Harry, Fred, Bill as keeper, Lupin and Ginny as chasers versus Charlie as seeker, George, Ron, and chasers Tonks and Mr. Weasley. Both teams were short a chaser and a beater.
The game was intense. Both teams were pretty evenly matched. The score was 150 to 100 (Ron's team) when Harry spotted the snitch; however, Charlie happened to see it at the same time. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. Harry and Charlie were neck to neck, when Harry swooped out of his dive triumphantly holding the snitch.
"Good job Harry," Charlie said, "They said you were good, but…of course I am out of practice," he added playfully.
Harry grinned. He hadn't felt this good in a long time. If only Sirius had been there, it would have been even a whole lot better.
Harry didn't dwell on Sirius for long, however. As soon as they returned to Number 12 Grimmauld place they immediately washed up and ate a dinner of leftovers that Mrs. Weasley had prepared. The game had lasted four hours.
That evening, they were all sitting around the fire discussing the most recent happenings in the wizarding world.
"So, what has happened at Azkaban with the dementor escapade?" Harry asked.
"Thank goodness only 39 people escaped, though that is a lot, it's definitely not the majority of people," Mrs. Weasley answered.
"Did Malfoy escape?" Harry questioned further.
"No, but some of his good friends did, and it may be only a matter of time before they get him out of there probably." Lupin said despondently.
"Well, they haven't yet, thank goodness," Harry sighed in relief.
Just as Harry was about to ask what the Ministry or the Order was going to do about the escapes, five owls flew in, one each to Harry, Ron, Fred, George, and Ginny.
Harry removed his letter and carefully opened it, it read:
Mr. Harry Potter:
This letter is to inform you that a trial will be held for Ms. Dolores Jane Umbridge on July 25th. We are asking that you be in attendance in the case of needing a witness to her wrongdoings, please respond immediately. A wizard of age may accompany you to the trial. Use this letter as a portkey at precisely 9:03 on the 25th of July. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Madame Bones
Harry looked up at the others with a grin on his face. "Yes!" he shouted, "Finally we get to put this nutcase where she belongs!" Ginny, Ron, Fred and George were all cheering with him.
"Let me see that!" Mr. Weasley demanded. Harry quickly handed the letter over to him and everyone else in the room crowded around him.
"Holy cow!" cried Lupin, "They're charging her!"
"What for?" asked Charlie. Charlie had just arrived at the beginning of the summer for a visit, so he had no idea what was going on.
"Oh, for sending dementors to get Harry, for cruel and unusual punishment, holding us hostage, almost using Crucio on Harry, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera." Ron stated.
Charlie's mouth dropped open, "Seriously?"
Harry nodded, "Seriously,"
"Whoa, I heard things were going downhill, but this? Wow," Charlie said
Everyone grimly nodded.
"You're definitely gonna get to testify against her Harry," Ron said, "This is great. I can't wait to see her face."
"Me neither," Harry said, "To bad Hermione won't be around, I bet she'd be asked to come too."
"Yeah, she's the one who stopped the Crucio curse!!" Ginny added.
They all sat back clearly absorbing the reality of it, when suddenly another owl flew in.
"Hermes?" Ginny asked as the bird landed on her shoulder.
It was a letter from Percy.
A.N. I'd like to thank all my reviewers from last chapter. I would list them all, but I'm too anxious to get this posted. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter!! Please please please review!! Next one coming up soon!!