by Kira
Raitei was consuming him.
It was Mugenjou itself, the memories of the era of the Volts, the period of bloodshed before the Volts had been formed, it was Akabane Kuroudo, taunting him, willing him to release the control he had struggled so much to achieve. It was the death of those around him, watching helplessly as the monsters hired by Makubex killed Shuu, standing motionlessly as Akabane carved in the backs of his victims that haunting, blood red J.
It was the betrayal he felt. Makubex had betrayed him. Makubex had destroyed what the Volts had sought to create, shattered the peace they had been able to create within Lower Town, and brought back that period of bloodshed.
Fifty percent.
"What's wrong, Ginji?"
He had destroyed the memory of those kids. Shuu and the rest of them, the kids from Lower Town that had gathered around him, found comfort and protection in him, and in the end, he had not been able to save them. Men had come to the place they had once come to play, from where, no one had known. But what mattered was that they slaughtered everyone. And Raitei, who had promised to protect them, was unable to fulfill his promise.
And he had destroyed their memory again, when their cold, dead fingers clung to him, asking for him to come and play. 'Ginji-san, Ginji-san! Hurry up! Come play!' Their voices were rotted, dead, empty, and their faces vanished, melting away to reveal their stripped corpses.
But it was virtual, he thought, it was only those images that had haunted him since he had come to Mugenjou. Makubex was playing games with him. It was easy to destroy what was not real. Too easy.
Only virtual reality had never seemed so real. Their voices still rang in his ears.
"Kid, what's your name?"
And now it was Teshimine-san.
Fifty-five percent.
"Teshimine-san!"
But that wasn't right. That was impossible. It couldn't be Teshimine-san.
"Do you remember, Ginji?"
He remembered. He had been abandoned, left behind in Mugenjou by parents that had never wanted him. Memories of them had faded away over the years; he remembered not their faces, but only the feeling of absolute despair and solitude he had felt when they left him behind. He had been lost, left alone in the abandoned fortress called Mugenjou, and there was no one to turn to.
That was when Teshimine-san found him. Teshimine-san took him under his wing, raised him, protected him, and taught him how to survive in the infinite castle.
"Back then, you used to cry day in and day out."
He had cried. Teshimine-san filled the void of a parent, but the memory of his abandonment was still fresh, and sometimes he would cry for no reason at all. Teshimine-san would always ask him what was wrong, was he hurt, did he have a bad dream, but he could only shake his head and sniff that he didn't know. It was hard for Teshimine-san, he remembered thinking, bringing up a child that was not his own, and not knowing what it was he was stepping into.
But he made do. Teshimine-san was a good parent. When he had a bad dream, he told him stories until he fell back asleep. When he fell and scrapped his knees, Teshimine-san was there to bandage them and scold him for running too fast. When he cried, Teshimine-san took his hand and promised him everything would be okay.
"But soon, in this Hell, you were surrounded by happy faces."
That was right. The other kids stopped hiding from him, invited him to play in their games, and for the first time, he felt that he belonged. He stopped crying. Teshimine-san no longer needed to take him by the hand and lead him through life; he charged through, full of life and energy, bursting with excitement and the joy of everyday being a new discovery.
Those were some of his happiest memories.
"Why did you betray those friends?"
... no.
"I told you not to betray your friends. Did you forget, Ginji?"
"I didn't betray them!"
It wasn't his Teshimine-san. It wasn't. His Teshimine-san, he wouldn't...
"Then why did you let them die?"
It was them again, the kids, smiling and laughing and asking him to come and play. 'Ginji-san, Ginji-san, Ginji-san!' They reached out to him, seeming so real, their presence so warm against him, but it was... that was wrong. Shuu, Goro, Ryuren -- they were dead.
No.
The energy flared up within him and their images shattered.
Sixty percent.
"You killed them again." The voice was soft, paternal, cynically sympathetic.
"Everyone. Everyone died a long time ago, they were killed, those bastards from the Mid-floors... right before me..."
The tears were welling up in his eyes, and he continued to speak, swearing to no one that it was not his fault. It hadn't been him who killed them, he hadn't let them die, he had only...
Not kept his promise.
And everyone died because he existed.
"Admit it, Ginji. You let your friends die."
"No."
"You left your cherished friends in a pit of darkness."
"No."
This isn't my Teshimine-san.
"You abandoned them and left Mugenjou."
"No."
"You sacrifice others in order to live. Everyone wanted to be happy, and you betrayed them."
"No!"
He willed the tears to stop, yet they came, silently falling down his face. Teshimine-san, he wasn't real, he couldn't be real. Not the man who had lead him by the hand, not the man who had sat by his bedside and read him stories, even when he was exhausted, even when he had only a few scarce hours of sleep himself -- it wasn't Teshimine-san.
But if it wasn't his Teshimine-san, then why did the memories keep surfacing? Why did he see it slowly circulating in his mind, their deaths happening all over again, the feel of their blood soaking his clothes, the rain pounding down on him, the exhilaration he felt when he killed their murderers, and then that hollow, empty feeling inside when it was all done, why did he feel it again?
Why, if it was not his Teshimine-san, did he believe those words?
"You let them be killed. Everyone died because of you."
"No. No. No."
"Ginji-san!"
"It hurts, Ginji-san..."
"Ginji-san, Ginji-san!"
"No. No, no, no, no..."
He screamed, and the electricity coursing through him exploded.
Seventy-five percent.
"Why, Teshimine-san? Why do you say those things? If you... if it continues, I can't..."
The electricity circulating around him had not yet died. It kept sparking around him, illuminating the dark room, curls of blue-lightning winding around his arms and legs and causing his hair to stand on end.
"I won't be able to stop myself."
And he would break another promise he had made.
"Ginji."
"Yeah, Ban-chan?"
"Promise me something."
"Promise you? What kind of promise?"
"Not to become Raitei again."
"Ah... why do you want me to make a promise like that?"
"Idiot, just promise."
"... mm. Okay. I promise, Ban-chan."
"... it reminds me of the day I first saw you in that state," Teshimine-san murmured softly.
It had been raining that day. Those monsters from the Mid-floors had come to Lower Town, looting and plundering, and killing anyone that stood in their way. They had tried to run; they always ran. There was nothing else that could be done when those monsters came -- run or be killed.
But those monsters chased them. Never before had they followed them; before, they had never been important enough to kill. But that day, they followed, and it was him they pursued. No one knew why, and the reason never mattered; it didn't even matter now. What mattered was that they had found him, and they killed the kids he had tried so vainly to protect.
That was when Raitei awoke.
In the blink of an eye, the men from the Mid-floors were annihilated, and amongst the bloodied wreckage of their bodies he stood, clutching the lifeless body of his friend.
"I was surprised." Teshimine-san spoke conversationally, but his voice was low, softly haunting. "I shouldn't have let you go. I should have kept you beside me instead of letting you form the Volts."
Why?
"I was mesmerized by those powers, and I brought you up for the purpose of using it. Use your powers, and become the ruler of Mugenjou."
What...?
"You were only a tool. But when I thought I had harnessed your powers, you joined up with that group."
"That's... it's a lie. Teshimine-san isn't someone like that. Teshimine-san is, Teshimine-san..."
He shook his head, willing the words away, willing the haunting, mocking image of Teshimine-san away.
"A lie? Who would raise a good-for-nothing piece of trash like you without reason?" He smiled. "You're a monster. That's why you were abandoned in Mugenjou."
"It's a lie. It's a lie..."
The electricity was alive again, sparking and circulating, and then it exploded all around him.
"It's a lie!"
Eighty percent.
Teshimine stood in the center of the electrical storm, smiling, laughing, mocking, and edging him on.
"Hatred will awaken you. The tyrant of Mugenjou, Raitei."
Eighty-five percent.
"That's good, Ginji. That's your real self."
He lost everything. Furious with himself, furious with the Teshimine-san mocking him, he lost his control, and everything around him was destroyed in one single burst of energy.
"Go away, go away!"
"Gin...ji..."
Teshimine shattered, and Raitei was left standing.
It happened quickly, or perhaps slowly. As Raitei, it became a blur to him. Willed only by his anger, he moved forward. Sakura, too, she had betrayed him. Makubex and Sakura and Jubei, they had all betrayed them, betrayed Kazuki, betrayed Shido -- everyone. They were his enemies.
And Raitei never left one man standing.
"I'll turn everything to ashes."
Sakura screamed.
Too late to notice him coming. He only felt his body connecting with the steel wall, and down he slumped to the ground.
Akabane. "To lay your hands on a woman," he chided. "You're not yourself, Ginji-kun."
Maybe he was an illusion, too. Maybe they were all fake. But even the illusions stood in his way, and he would destroy all of them.
"Be gone."
Words were spoken, blows were exchanged, and they were fighting, moving blindly through the darkness, each stride matched evenly, each strike deflected, moving so quickly it was difficult to discern what was happening.
Only fifteen more percent.
A scalpel cut across his cheek, but he barely felt the pain; it healed instantly and too focused, too determined to destroy his enemy, he could not feel the blows.
Ten percent more.
Jackal pushed him, and he pushed back for each breath, each stride, each strike. Akabane willed him to lose himself, willed that Raitei emerge to his full potential, and he answered the demand.
Five percent more.
He raised his hand to drive a fatal blow, and the bloody sword was raised to impale him.
And then Ban was between them, the raised fist caught in his hand, the blade pierced through his shoulder.
"What are you doing, Ginji? Without discussing it with me..."
He crumpled lifelessly to the floor, and Ginji, clutching his head in his hands, fell hard to his knees, willing vainly that the tears not come.
"Ban-chan..."
Zero percent.