SPG VERSION 2
Lyrics translated by Yamato - nittlegrasper dot com
The lights seemed bright and alien to Suguru as he looked down at the stage from the balcony. It had been a long time since he'd been on stage. Well, it seemed like a long time.
Tatsuha looked down at his companion as he stared into the lights, transfixed. These were his lights too, a thought that left the younger boy slightly bitter.
But they suit him...
It was true. As the spotlights swung across the steadily growing audience, they seemed to linger on the young musician, giving him the poetic radiance Tatsuha only ever associated with his idol.
He gazed at him for a while, waiting for the lights to spread their glitter in his eyes. It was tacky and stupid, but he was shining.
Suguru turned to see him staring and quickly looked away.
'Don't be like that, I'm not going to do anything,' Tatsuha said, though he wasn't sure if he meant it, which worried him greatly.
'Really?' Suguru said flatly 'You look rather dangerous to me.'
He decided to change the subject.
'You have a nice apartment,' was his best attempt.
'I do my best. Tohma pays for it.'
'Really? What about your parents?'
'I had to move here when Tohma requested I join Bad Luck. I could hardly say no to him, could I?'
'You couldn't, no,' Tatsuha smiled politely.
Suguru sighed, 'But it's not like I want to be there.'
'Ah,' was he finally going to get somewhere? 'Are you lonely?'
'No, not at all,' Suguru lied. 'I can't bear being there on his money. How am I supposed to prove anything when I'm having to accept his charity?'
'I would hardly call it charity...'
'I want to make opportunities for myself. It was all his idea that I come here and play for Bad Luck, all his decision that I move to an apartment he paid for...'
'Well...' Tatsuha was a little stuck 'You need some help. He wants to see you a success...'
'But I don't want his help!' Suguru snapped. 'He's the person I'm trying to beat - how can I do it with his help?'
Tatsuha didn't know how to answer that.
The older boy continued, 'I can make decisions and opportunities for myself, I'm not a child anymore...'
The lights clicked out. The audience screamed. It was starting.
'I feel your plan is somewhat cruel, K,' Tohma said, his voice level as usual.
'You're one to talk.'
Tohma smiled. 'I'll see you later then,' he waved, walking onto the stage, joining Ryuichi and Noriko to a tremendous applause. Glancing up, he scanned the balcony for his cousin, a mere speck in the audience, the lights in his eyes and an ache in his heart. Tohma knew that feeling well. But he trusted K.
So the music began.
Suguru stared, awe-struck by his cousin. He had never overcome the power of his music. The vocals were lost on him, the lyrics meaningless. It was simply the melody that Tohma played, the way his fingers moved over the keys. Suguru longed for his own keyboard, longed for the chance to play. It had been two days since he last touched the keys, and the withdrawal suddenly hit him. He wanted everyone to listen, wanted to prove himself with the music.
But now Tohma was shining, the lights glowing around him, his hair glittering golden in the beams. Suguru could see his eyes, full of passion. The passion for his music, the passion for his audience, the desire to play the music in his soul...
He couldn't tear his eyes away.
Tatsuha was longing for that feeling, the awe and wonderment and desire he used to feel as he watched his idol. But where was it now?
Ryuichi seemed so far away.
Even if you breathe, it isn't possible
under these circumstances
the love that stays strong is superior
'Tohma...' Suguru whispered, his breath lost in the music. That was his stage too. It was his place. There was no mistaking that. No matter what Tohma did, he could never take him away from that.
can't get enough, it's more than words
don't let me down, I want it to be revealed
one more night, even if a scar remains
the eyes you look into were the first you saw
He couldn't change what had happened. That he was Seguchi Tohma's cousin was how it was. The one he was compared to, the one he wanted to be, the one he wanted to surpass. But it wasn't his time yet. Right now, the stage belonged to Nittle Grasper, and to his cousin. Nittle Grasper would always be there, always be there as a memory, always be there as history. The face of Seguchi Tohma would remain in his memory, remain as the man who drove him forward.
Tatsuha could neither will the feeling away or will it into being. He had chosen Sakuma Ryuichi above all people, but he couldn't have him. He was glowing, radiating, but he was far away, unreachable.
He gripped the cold rail. The answer...the answer was right there, wasn't it? He turned to face Suguru, turned to see the dream reflected in the musicians eyes. It was a beautiful dream, reachable, attainable, possible in every way. His dream was well on its way, but it needed help...it needed attention, it needed...
Him?
He turned back to Ryuichi, on the stage far away...
I was only born to betray
my lips, in the end, feel sharp
you're lost in a cloud of meaningless reason
in your foolish predilection
'Ryuichi...'
It was true, wasn't it? He had chosen Ryuichi, someone he could never have. He had been foolish...but...it had never mattered until now, had it?
there is no longer a solid beam
from this room
you will quickly be rescued
He looked back at Suguru, whose hand also gripped the rail. It was obvious, really, wasn't it?
can't get enough of this beautiful midnight
don't let me down, I'll still run to you
one more night, which of us will never escape?
I wish I knew the truth.
Suguru turned to face him with a helpless look. Tatsuha would have laughed if he'd been able to.
But he couldn't. He could barely find the courage to let go of the rail.
can't get enough of your heavy heart or face
don't let me down, I'll wipe you clean of the pain
one more night of true love
will you ever be mine?
He didn't hesitate any longer.
Tohma looked up just in time to see them, and a relieved smile crossed his face. He had to admit that he'd been worried about K's plan, but his faith had not been misplaced, as usual. He gave the manager a smile, who in turn grinned and shrugged it away. K made it look so easy.
Tatsuha was a little taken aback by Suguru's response, and Suguru himself was shocked by his force as he pulled the taller boy closer, their lips crushed together once more.
He didn't care who saw, didn't care about anything. All he wanted was Tatsuha close to him, to feel him beneath his hands. As far as he could tell, the other boy didn't have any objections, his hands running through his hair. He thought briefly about how that was going to mess it up completely, but decided it unimportant as they broke away for air.
'Tatsuha...' he managed, his voice barely audible, despite the music fading away.
'Fujisaki...' he pulled him close again.
'Mr K...!'
'What?' Tatsuha spun around as Suguru struggled free.
'Good Evening!' K declared, looking very smug indeed.
'Gah...'
Suguru resisted the urge to run and hide, instead clinging to the rail for support.
'I didn't expect to see you two here, you're looking a lot better today, Fujisaki,' he glanced at the boy, his face still red and reddening further from embarrassment.
'Er,' Suguru replied.
'Yes, well, anyway,' Tatsuha said, coughing. 'Was that all, Mr K?'
'Ah yes, of course, I shall let you be, just wanted to say Hello, that's all. See you at work tomorrow, Fujisaki?'
'Yes. Yes. Thank you,' he squeaked.
K turned to leave, smiling at Tatsuha as he did so. Tatsuha smiled back hopelessly.
Suguru waited until he was gone before standing up properly, regaining his composure.
'Suguru?'
'Yes?'
'Let's go home.'
He hesitated for a moment before replying.
'Yeah. Let's go home...'