A/N: hi again! Thank you EVERYONE for reviewing! I was so happy! It made
my day to read your reviews. Well here is the next chapter that takes
place immediately after chapter 2. He is waking up from the dream about
the car crash from the previous chapter. Hope you like this one and please
give me feedback!
Disclaimer: *sigh*...I still have some coffee ice cream left over if you want any...just don't sue me cause I won nothing...sad isn't it? ^_^ 0
Sesshoumaru awoke with a loud gasp as he sat up on his bed. His breathing was ragged and sweat was dripping down his tired face. It was that very same dream every night that had haunted him for 17 years.
Sesshoumaru slowly slid out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, staring at his own reflection in disgust. All his emotions were written like an open book across his face and he didn't like weakness. Immediately he placed his cold mask of indifference on as if nothing had happened.
In a sense it was just like any other day but today was the day of his mother's death. Not liking to go with his brother and father to visit her, Sesshoumaru went alone every year.
He was disgusted with his brother for being such a pathetic person. Inuyasha had started out as a reasonable, normal child but slowly, he started turning bad. Failing most of his classes and even joining a gang. Doing drugs was only one of the many things he did. And his father, he loathed him for being such a heartless person. After Celia's death, all he did was bury himself in piles of work, as if she never existed. But now that Inutaishou is ill, he deemed it right for him to suffer.
Laughing bitterly, Sesshoumaru got ready and headed to his car. Sighing tiredly, the guilt inside him started to increase even more. Every day he would blame himself for what happened, having failed to protect her like he had promised. In his younger years, he had tried to deny the fact that it was his fault. He would always try and bury it all in the back of his mind and heart, finding something else to blame. But it never worked and so he stopped trying, resulting in it sticking to him like a plague. Day by day, Sesshoumaru locked himself up and kept all his emotions inside behind a wall of ice, not willing to show any weakness. Always standing tall and firm, composed, calm and collected. No one ever knew what was going on inside him. No one could understand the pain he felt, the turmoil in his heart. Nobody would ever know and Sesshoumaru wanted it to stay that way.
If he were to die now, he would have no regrets since he doesn't love anyone and no one loves him. No friends or other relatives, he wouldn't even call his brother and father family. Sesshoumaru cared for no one and would always remain alone. With that thought in mind, he proceeded to drive to his mother's grave as a bitter smile formed on his face.
"Pathetic."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He had been driving for nearly an hour, including the time he had stopped to buy flowers. The fragrance of the lavenders had offered little comfort to Sesshoumaru as he was once again drawn into his thoughts. After a good 15 minutes more of driving, Sesshoumaru had finally reached his destination. Making a right turn, he proceeded to drive down another long road that led to all directions as the rows and rows of graves blurred past his vision. Minutes later, he stopped the car, reaching behind him for the flowers before stepping out.
The cold air and wind made Sesshoumaru's hair ripple behind him like a river. With an emotionless expression on his face, he stiffly walked over to a black marble tombstone with not even a trace of the inner turmoil he had felt minutes before. The beautiful woman in the picture never failed to soften Sesshoumaru's features, offering some form of comfort. Bending down, he calmly placed the flowers on the floor in front of the tombstone. The wind carried the smell of the lavenders to Sesshoumaru's nose, relaxing him as he closed his eyes in remembrance.
Lavenders, the flowers that his mother loved so much. He remembered when he use to be engulfed by that fragrance every time his mother was near. It never failed to comfort him when he was young and it still does despite his seemingly calm and cold demeanor. Many minutes passed as a shiver made its way up Sesshoumaru's spine, waking him from his deep thoughts. Deciding it was time to leave before Inutaisho and his pathetic excuse of a brother arrived, Sesshoumaru glanced at his mother's picture one last time before stepping away from the marble tombstone and into the car.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Arriving onto the highway, Sesshoumaru's mind once again lapsed into the memories of when his mother was alive. The picture of his mother, bloodied and hurt was like a stab to his heart every time. Many times before, tears had threatened to spill as the image flashed through his head. He had locked himself up inside his room that day, not even remembering it was his birthday. It was from that day on that he started hating his father. That night, Inutaisho didn't even bother to go to his room to see how he was doing. After that incident, all he did was work. Never once did he mention anything about his mother. Nothing.
Sesshoumaru's fists unconsciously tightened around the steering wheel as he fought to control his rage.
But after crying for days, Seshoumaru had vowed to himself never to shed a tear again. Having his mother gone, Seshoumaru had decided to be strong because no one was there for him anymore. Inutaisho didn't even care, leaving the two sons alone to fend for themselves. That was how it always was after Celia's death and so Sesshoumaru stood on his own. Having done that for 17 years, it became a natural thing to him now, always having that mask of indifference on. Never had a true smile appeared on his lips and his golden orbs never shone again.
The words from his promise all those years ago echoed in Sesshoumaru's ears, taunting him, blaming him for breaking it. The last words that were whispered by Celia before her death rang like a chant, tugging at his heart in every direction possible.
Love, guilt, hate, pity, sadness.......loneliness.
It was a rare occurrence that his emotions would show despite the strong feelings he kept inside of him. But most importantly, he would never admit to being weak with emotion. He was after all, a prideful man....in denial of his own feelings.
Suddenly everything seemed to get so confusing. All this thinking and feeling was getting Sesshoumaru frustrated, irritated, and lost all at the same time. Among all that confusion, a blur of colors caught his eyes as he moved his eyes to where it was before.
Right there rested the heart shaped glass container of paper cranes. The glass was still in the best condition ever but the colors of the paper cranes had started to fade over the years. Sesshoumaru didn't know why he still kept it since it served to remind him every time of his broken promise.
Paper cranes...people say it symbolized hope and good luck. But it never did anything. Sesshoumaru glared at the object so hard that a hole was practically burned through it. As if his eyes were glued to the glass container, he couldn't move an inch.
Being so deep in his thoughts, Sesshoumaru failed to see the car that was headed towards him. Racing down the highway at an impossible speed, the car swerved left and right in a reckless manner. The man inside the car wasn't even aware of anything in front of him other than the blur of colors flashing before him. However, before either man could do anything, the screech of tires could be heard and the bang of the two cars echoed throughout the road. The man crashed into the glass and flew out of the car from the momentum and Sesshoumaru's head slammed hard against the steering wheel before he went unconscious. His body leaned against the steering wheel causing the horn to sound as blood dripped onto the ground.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The sound of people talking was echoing in Sesshoumaru's head but he couldn't comprehend a thing they were saying. The light was bright and made him cringe even though his eyes were closed. A gentle voice could be heard saying something, as if calling to him.
"Sir...sir..what is your name sir?" asked the nurse who was patting his cheek softly.
Slowly, Sesshoumaru opened his eyes only managing to keep it open for a few seconds. The last thing he saw was a blurred picture of a young woman with sea green eyes and long black hair before he was engulfed by darkness once again.
"kaa-san.."
Tbc.
A/N: Well?? Did ya like it? WELL???? Ok ok..I'll shut up...just PLEASE leave a review! And sorry for not including a glossary last chapter.
Sorry inugirl0621 for not putting it up. Here are the terms from last time.
Glossary: Kaa-san: a formal way to address one's mother
Daijoubu desu ka: are you all right?
Gomen: sorry
Iie: no
Daijoubu: I'm all right
Honto: really
Itsumo: forever
Onegai: please
Disclaimer: *sigh*...I still have some coffee ice cream left over if you want any...just don't sue me cause I won nothing...sad isn't it? ^_^ 0
Sesshoumaru awoke with a loud gasp as he sat up on his bed. His breathing was ragged and sweat was dripping down his tired face. It was that very same dream every night that had haunted him for 17 years.
Sesshoumaru slowly slid out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, staring at his own reflection in disgust. All his emotions were written like an open book across his face and he didn't like weakness. Immediately he placed his cold mask of indifference on as if nothing had happened.
In a sense it was just like any other day but today was the day of his mother's death. Not liking to go with his brother and father to visit her, Sesshoumaru went alone every year.
He was disgusted with his brother for being such a pathetic person. Inuyasha had started out as a reasonable, normal child but slowly, he started turning bad. Failing most of his classes and even joining a gang. Doing drugs was only one of the many things he did. And his father, he loathed him for being such a heartless person. After Celia's death, all he did was bury himself in piles of work, as if she never existed. But now that Inutaishou is ill, he deemed it right for him to suffer.
Laughing bitterly, Sesshoumaru got ready and headed to his car. Sighing tiredly, the guilt inside him started to increase even more. Every day he would blame himself for what happened, having failed to protect her like he had promised. In his younger years, he had tried to deny the fact that it was his fault. He would always try and bury it all in the back of his mind and heart, finding something else to blame. But it never worked and so he stopped trying, resulting in it sticking to him like a plague. Day by day, Sesshoumaru locked himself up and kept all his emotions inside behind a wall of ice, not willing to show any weakness. Always standing tall and firm, composed, calm and collected. No one ever knew what was going on inside him. No one could understand the pain he felt, the turmoil in his heart. Nobody would ever know and Sesshoumaru wanted it to stay that way.
If he were to die now, he would have no regrets since he doesn't love anyone and no one loves him. No friends or other relatives, he wouldn't even call his brother and father family. Sesshoumaru cared for no one and would always remain alone. With that thought in mind, he proceeded to drive to his mother's grave as a bitter smile formed on his face.
"Pathetic."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He had been driving for nearly an hour, including the time he had stopped to buy flowers. The fragrance of the lavenders had offered little comfort to Sesshoumaru as he was once again drawn into his thoughts. After a good 15 minutes more of driving, Sesshoumaru had finally reached his destination. Making a right turn, he proceeded to drive down another long road that led to all directions as the rows and rows of graves blurred past his vision. Minutes later, he stopped the car, reaching behind him for the flowers before stepping out.
The cold air and wind made Sesshoumaru's hair ripple behind him like a river. With an emotionless expression on his face, he stiffly walked over to a black marble tombstone with not even a trace of the inner turmoil he had felt minutes before. The beautiful woman in the picture never failed to soften Sesshoumaru's features, offering some form of comfort. Bending down, he calmly placed the flowers on the floor in front of the tombstone. The wind carried the smell of the lavenders to Sesshoumaru's nose, relaxing him as he closed his eyes in remembrance.
Lavenders, the flowers that his mother loved so much. He remembered when he use to be engulfed by that fragrance every time his mother was near. It never failed to comfort him when he was young and it still does despite his seemingly calm and cold demeanor. Many minutes passed as a shiver made its way up Sesshoumaru's spine, waking him from his deep thoughts. Deciding it was time to leave before Inutaisho and his pathetic excuse of a brother arrived, Sesshoumaru glanced at his mother's picture one last time before stepping away from the marble tombstone and into the car.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Arriving onto the highway, Sesshoumaru's mind once again lapsed into the memories of when his mother was alive. The picture of his mother, bloodied and hurt was like a stab to his heart every time. Many times before, tears had threatened to spill as the image flashed through his head. He had locked himself up inside his room that day, not even remembering it was his birthday. It was from that day on that he started hating his father. That night, Inutaisho didn't even bother to go to his room to see how he was doing. After that incident, all he did was work. Never once did he mention anything about his mother. Nothing.
Sesshoumaru's fists unconsciously tightened around the steering wheel as he fought to control his rage.
But after crying for days, Seshoumaru had vowed to himself never to shed a tear again. Having his mother gone, Seshoumaru had decided to be strong because no one was there for him anymore. Inutaisho didn't even care, leaving the two sons alone to fend for themselves. That was how it always was after Celia's death and so Sesshoumaru stood on his own. Having done that for 17 years, it became a natural thing to him now, always having that mask of indifference on. Never had a true smile appeared on his lips and his golden orbs never shone again.
The words from his promise all those years ago echoed in Sesshoumaru's ears, taunting him, blaming him for breaking it. The last words that were whispered by Celia before her death rang like a chant, tugging at his heart in every direction possible.
Love, guilt, hate, pity, sadness.......loneliness.
It was a rare occurrence that his emotions would show despite the strong feelings he kept inside of him. But most importantly, he would never admit to being weak with emotion. He was after all, a prideful man....in denial of his own feelings.
Suddenly everything seemed to get so confusing. All this thinking and feeling was getting Sesshoumaru frustrated, irritated, and lost all at the same time. Among all that confusion, a blur of colors caught his eyes as he moved his eyes to where it was before.
Right there rested the heart shaped glass container of paper cranes. The glass was still in the best condition ever but the colors of the paper cranes had started to fade over the years. Sesshoumaru didn't know why he still kept it since it served to remind him every time of his broken promise.
Paper cranes...people say it symbolized hope and good luck. But it never did anything. Sesshoumaru glared at the object so hard that a hole was practically burned through it. As if his eyes were glued to the glass container, he couldn't move an inch.
Being so deep in his thoughts, Sesshoumaru failed to see the car that was headed towards him. Racing down the highway at an impossible speed, the car swerved left and right in a reckless manner. The man inside the car wasn't even aware of anything in front of him other than the blur of colors flashing before him. However, before either man could do anything, the screech of tires could be heard and the bang of the two cars echoed throughout the road. The man crashed into the glass and flew out of the car from the momentum and Sesshoumaru's head slammed hard against the steering wheel before he went unconscious. His body leaned against the steering wheel causing the horn to sound as blood dripped onto the ground.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The sound of people talking was echoing in Sesshoumaru's head but he couldn't comprehend a thing they were saying. The light was bright and made him cringe even though his eyes were closed. A gentle voice could be heard saying something, as if calling to him.
"Sir...sir..what is your name sir?" asked the nurse who was patting his cheek softly.
Slowly, Sesshoumaru opened his eyes only managing to keep it open for a few seconds. The last thing he saw was a blurred picture of a young woman with sea green eyes and long black hair before he was engulfed by darkness once again.
"kaa-san.."
Tbc.
A/N: Well?? Did ya like it? WELL???? Ok ok..I'll shut up...just PLEASE leave a review! And sorry for not including a glossary last chapter.
Sorry inugirl0621 for not putting it up. Here are the terms from last time.
Glossary: Kaa-san: a formal way to address one's mother
Daijoubu desu ka: are you all right?
Gomen: sorry
Iie: no
Daijoubu: I'm all right
Honto: really
Itsumo: forever
Onegai: please