Disclaimer: Everything you recognize isn't mine…. Except the plot, that's mine. =)
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Two weeks later would find
Hermione in her study working on her lesson plans vigorously. If she could get
this done now, then she would have six weeks of uninterrupted summer left.
A sigh escaped her lips as
she finished the first quarter worth of plans. It wasn't a sigh of relief at
having it finished, nor was it a sigh of having a free break from now on, it
was a sigh of… well she didn't know what exactly… completion, sadness, boredom,
or maybe all of the above. All she knew is that now with all things out of the
way, she had nothing to take her mind off of more personal matters. Namely the issue of Severus. It had been two
weeks since he said "I cannot bare it
anymore… I cannot take this life." What had he meant by that? Can't bear
what anymore? What life was it that he could not take?
She sighed again, this time pushing her chair back and standing up. A stroll around the grounds should help
clear my mind, she thought. As she donned her navy coat, put her curly,
unruly hair in a pony tale, and left to venture outside.
Wandering the corridors
calmed her frayed nerves a bit, the issue of Severus still on her mind. Lightly
running her fingers over the cold stone wall had left a numbing sensation in
her hand that she wanted to take over her mind. The bright light and soft
crunch of grass told her she was outside.
She wandered to the paths around the castle, stopping here and there to enjoy
the beauty and, corny as it may sound, the magic that is Hogwarts. As she
passed the rose bushes that she remembered from her fourth year Yule Ball, the
one that housed that couple she passed while walking out for fresh air, she
remembered that it was that spot that she had first kissed Severus not but two
years ago. NO! Her mind yelled at
her. Stop thinking about him! He made his
thoughts quite clear when he left you crying on the floor of what you two had
called home for a year. She turned around and continued her walk.
It seemed not two minutes, when in actuality it was about half an hour, when
she found herself by the lake. Watching it for a minute, she decided that the
calmness of the lake was setting her mind free from thought, so she set down
her cloak along the roots of a near by tree, smoothed out the blue dress she
wore beneath the cloak, and sat down resting her back on the tree.
In no time at all she was lulled to sleep by the smell and sound of the grass
and trees swaying slightly, the lake rippling, and the birds chirping.
Her dreams, however, were unlike her surroundings. Since that fateful night two
weeks ago, she has been plagued with dreams; replaying that conversation; of
Severus with a new life; of her dying with his name on her lips, while he
watches and does nothing, saying she will thank him later.
She hadn't told anyone about the dreams, or about the lost she felt when he left, or anything one is supposed to do when the love of your life leaves you. It wasn't that she didn't want to; it's just that she wasn't that type of person. She was the type of person that only told one person because they trusted them with everything from possessions, to their life. And that person for her was Severus. Now that he was gone, she had no one to tell how much her heart was breaking, no one to cry on (except her pillow), and no one to ask for help and make the pain go away. Sure Minerva and Albus have tried, but she just couldn't tell them. She guessed it was like her burdening them, even if they wanted the "burden," she couldn't tell them.
Instead she talked aloud in her room. She talked about the family she wanted; about the house she wanted to buy on the outskirts of Hogsmead, about the way she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Severus. The thoughts were said, the tears were shed, and the Kleenex thoroughly used. Now she had no more to do about him but remember and sigh.
Albus had tried to talk to
her about the separation, but she just said "Thank you, Albus, but I'm fine; or
as fine as one can be."
Still, the dreams haunt her. The visions of happy moments; warm, strong arms
wrapped around her; and the startling black eyes that knew her so completely.
But, if she were to look up, she would see those obsidian eyes looking down
upon the love he let go.
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Ok, yeah, my story is a
bit... odd, for lack of better word. I have no beta so, yuh, all mistakes are
mine. PLEASE review and give me constructive criticism if any (because telling
me I suck is not news, I ADMIT I
need help, and why are you reading it if
you think I suck?)
**Thank you Gemz for
reviewing, I appreciate it. =)
/_-EbonWings-_\