SHALLOW
By LIKWID
2/24/04
Death has a smell, y'know.
A very distinct smell. If you've ever been to a funeral, you'd know what it smells like.
Death smells like wilting daisies.
You can still smell the sickeningly sweet scent that they give off when they're healthy. But somehow, the smell, it's…I dunno. Broken. Tainted.
It's fucking dead.
God, Jesus. His body was right behind me. I could smell the death leaking off of him. It was disgusting. And damn it all, because he had been anything BUT disgusting. He was so beautiful. He was a beautiful person. He had always been beautiful. But no one would get close enough to him to see it. Not even his own fucking parents. He was dangerous, untouchable. He wouldn't let anyone get close to him, and he didn't want anyone close to him. I don't think he even wanted my company at first. It was Dumbledore's damn fault for making me stay is that boy's godawful house. It reaked of wilting daisies in that house. It reaked of death.
I cleared my throat as I stood on the podium. There were lots of people crying. Jesus, I had never thought he had had such an effect on so many. He didn't like people in general, I don't think.
Only me.
His mother and father were sitting in the front row. Luscious looked--He looked stupid, really. Just so smug. For Christ's sakes, it was his son's funeral. Didn't he give a damn?
What a stupid fucking question. Of course he didn't. He'd tried to kill Draco before, why would he give a shit that the job was done?
Narcissa looked terrible. So sad…I think that no matter what she may have said, she had always cared. He was her only child, her only real love. She didn't love Luscious--I knew that. She had told me thousands of times in the short period that I spent in the room across from her's. Narcissa never had the heart to hate Draco the way Luscious had hated him. She loved the boy, even if he hated her. I sighed.
"Um," I said.
Brilliant. I'm a genius.
"Hi."
Again, could you GET any more intellectual.
"Most of you know me," I said, forcing a sob down my throat. "But for you who don't, I'm Julia. Me and Draco were…close."
Jesus, I was making myself sound like a fucking retard. DAMN IT!
I wiped my eyes furiously and played with a bit of my hair, twirling it in my fingers. "Jesus, this is the third funeral I've been to in three years," I muttered, but the microphone blared it through the entire chapel.
Many people nodded. Most had been to the two other great Wizards' funerals that I was talking about.
"Until about three hours ago, I thought that I'd go to this funeral, and be done with this. I thought I would leave and forget everything that happened with me and him. Move far, far away. Maybe back to Paris, or even America. God, I miss that place. I thought that I would leave, and the ache I'm feeling would stay behind, too. Three hours." I took a deep breath. "Three hours ago, though, I didn't know…" I trailed off.
I saw Ron fidget in his seat. Ron knew what was coming. He'd been the first to know. He was all I had left. Hermione...God only knew where she was. And Harry...Harry was not here. Ron was my best friend. So naturally I had told him my secret as soon as I found out.
I looked down at the floor. "I didn't know that I was carrying Draco's child," I mumbled.
There was a mix of gasps and shrieks and sobs and wails and cries and "Hail Mary's." Luscious looked outraged, and I thought I saw a faint smile twitch at the corners of Narcissa's face. But Luscious...He looked like he was about ready to kill me. He never liked me. I laughed bitterly.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I mumbled. I blinked away tears. "I'm keeping this baby," I informed the crowd.
"PROUD OF YOU, JULES!!!" Fred and George hollered. God, I loved those two.
I almost smiled. "I knew Draco better than anyone else did. Better than any of you. We met not too long ago. At Hogwarts. He hated my guts, and I wanted to rip off my arm just so I had something to chuck at him. I thought he was just so damn shallow. He hated me just because Sirius Black was my father."
I paused. I had never met my father. I mean, I did--he came to see me, once. But he never told me he was my dad. Dumbledore had to tell me.
My dad was a jerk.
"He was shallow, self-conceited, rude, obnoxious, and just a pain in the ass," I went on, talking about Draco. "But I was wrong. He wasn't shallow. And yeah, he was a little stuck-up, but who the hell isn't?"
I sucked in a deep breath. I was going to go to a place I didn't want to.
"Figures," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Bellatrix Lestrange vowed to kill me and end the line of Blacks forever. So it figures she would kill the one person I loved instead."
I looked up and locked eyes with Ron, and he nodded.
"I'm Julia Black," I told the crowd. "And this is my story."
By LIKWID
2/24/04
Death has a smell, y'know.
A very distinct smell. If you've ever been to a funeral, you'd know what it smells like.
Death smells like wilting daisies.
You can still smell the sickeningly sweet scent that they give off when they're healthy. But somehow, the smell, it's…I dunno. Broken. Tainted.
It's fucking dead.
God, Jesus. His body was right behind me. I could smell the death leaking off of him. It was disgusting. And damn it all, because he had been anything BUT disgusting. He was so beautiful. He was a beautiful person. He had always been beautiful. But no one would get close enough to him to see it. Not even his own fucking parents. He was dangerous, untouchable. He wouldn't let anyone get close to him, and he didn't want anyone close to him. I don't think he even wanted my company at first. It was Dumbledore's damn fault for making me stay is that boy's godawful house. It reaked of wilting daisies in that house. It reaked of death.
I cleared my throat as I stood on the podium. There were lots of people crying. Jesus, I had never thought he had had such an effect on so many. He didn't like people in general, I don't think.
Only me.
His mother and father were sitting in the front row. Luscious looked--He looked stupid, really. Just so smug. For Christ's sakes, it was his son's funeral. Didn't he give a damn?
What a stupid fucking question. Of course he didn't. He'd tried to kill Draco before, why would he give a shit that the job was done?
Narcissa looked terrible. So sad…I think that no matter what she may have said, she had always cared. He was her only child, her only real love. She didn't love Luscious--I knew that. She had told me thousands of times in the short period that I spent in the room across from her's. Narcissa never had the heart to hate Draco the way Luscious had hated him. She loved the boy, even if he hated her. I sighed.
"Um," I said.
Brilliant. I'm a genius.
"Hi."
Again, could you GET any more intellectual.
"Most of you know me," I said, forcing a sob down my throat. "But for you who don't, I'm Julia. Me and Draco were…close."
Jesus, I was making myself sound like a fucking retard. DAMN IT!
I wiped my eyes furiously and played with a bit of my hair, twirling it in my fingers. "Jesus, this is the third funeral I've been to in three years," I muttered, but the microphone blared it through the entire chapel.
Many people nodded. Most had been to the two other great Wizards' funerals that I was talking about.
"Until about three hours ago, I thought that I'd go to this funeral, and be done with this. I thought I would leave and forget everything that happened with me and him. Move far, far away. Maybe back to Paris, or even America. God, I miss that place. I thought that I would leave, and the ache I'm feeling would stay behind, too. Three hours." I took a deep breath. "Three hours ago, though, I didn't know…" I trailed off.
I saw Ron fidget in his seat. Ron knew what was coming. He'd been the first to know. He was all I had left. Hermione...God only knew where she was. And Harry...Harry was not here. Ron was my best friend. So naturally I had told him my secret as soon as I found out.
I looked down at the floor. "I didn't know that I was carrying Draco's child," I mumbled.
There was a mix of gasps and shrieks and sobs and wails and cries and "Hail Mary's." Luscious looked outraged, and I thought I saw a faint smile twitch at the corners of Narcissa's face. But Luscious...He looked like he was about ready to kill me. He never liked me. I laughed bitterly.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," I mumbled. I blinked away tears. "I'm keeping this baby," I informed the crowd.
"PROUD OF YOU, JULES!!!" Fred and George hollered. God, I loved those two.
I almost smiled. "I knew Draco better than anyone else did. Better than any of you. We met not too long ago. At Hogwarts. He hated my guts, and I wanted to rip off my arm just so I had something to chuck at him. I thought he was just so damn shallow. He hated me just because Sirius Black was my father."
I paused. I had never met my father. I mean, I did--he came to see me, once. But he never told me he was my dad. Dumbledore had to tell me.
My dad was a jerk.
"He was shallow, self-conceited, rude, obnoxious, and just a pain in the ass," I went on, talking about Draco. "But I was wrong. He wasn't shallow. And yeah, he was a little stuck-up, but who the hell isn't?"
I sucked in a deep breath. I was going to go to a place I didn't want to.
"Figures," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Bellatrix Lestrange vowed to kill me and end the line of Blacks forever. So it figures she would kill the one person I loved instead."
I looked up and locked eyes with Ron, and he nodded.
"I'm Julia Black," I told the crowd. "And this is my story."