Disclaimer: All characters (not nessacerily their actions) belong to Tamora
Pierce bless her heart. Concept to Helen Fielding's Bridget Jones and
CassandraClaire's LOTR VSDs.
A/N: In response to Dancing Dove Very Secret Diary ) Write a diary in the Bridget Jones style for a character from Tamora Pierce. Fun fun fun. Set during First Adventure, I present to you:
The Very Secret Diary of Jonathan of Conte.
~~~~~
Day One: Met new page today. Short, v. attractive, redhead. Says name is Alan of Trebond. Will call him Sexy. Sexy called Ralon of Malven pig- kisser. Damn lucky pigs. Sigh. No pigs for heir. Damn soveriegn parents.
Day Four: Showed Sexy palace. He stammered and called me Highness more. V. v. on-turning.
Day Twelve: Sexy and I met in my rooms. Had long talk about bullies. More calling me Highness. Am tired of it, so told him to call me Jon. Tried to get some action by hugging, though he didn't get the hint. V. sad.
Day Twenty-three: Sexy refused to go swimming. V. depressing. Advantages: ...none Disadvantages: Cannot touch Sexy. Cannot see Sexy topless.
Day Eighty-six: Lost diary. Found again under bed. Went to Corus with Sexy. Met his hot friend George Cooper. Is King of theives. Is single. Walked back to palace together. Received touches from Sexy. Go me!
Midwinter: Excellent! Snogged with Delia of Eldorne after feast. V. pleasing. Sexy got all piffed and locked self in room. Tried talking. Didn't work. Sought out Myles instead. Am Squire. Go me!
Day 134: V. sad. Mother sick w/sweating fever.
Day 136: More sickness. Friend died. V. sad. Was v. good at snogging.
Day 140: Am sick now. People making noise and smoking up air. Can't write.
Day 142: Yay... Sexy came and tried healing me with fancy purple light. Sweat- soaked tunic stuck to chest. V. v. v. on-turning. Sexy looks rather feminine though. Will ask him about that.
Day 144: Healed again. Asked Sexy about feminine chest and womanly voice. Said I was delirious and ran away. Odd.
Day 172: Left diary in Dancing Dove. GC read to the entire tavern. V. embarassing. Saw v. pretty red-head in dress there. Bears strong resemblense to Sexy. Saw her leave Dove. Sexy was v. v. v. sweaty coming back. Said something about stables with Raoul. Cousin Roger back. Yay! Uncle v. v. v. v. hot. Hotter than Sexy. Wow...
Later: Yay! No stabled Sexy for Raoul. Came back v. sulky, said Sexy gave punishment work as excuse. Almost feel bad for Raoul.
Day 176: Go me! Asked Uncle Gary if Sexy could come to desert with us for summer trip. Uncle said yes. Yay!
Day 200: Left diary in stables. Stefan read. V. v. embarassing. Will everyone know my life before I'm knighted? With Stefan AND GC reading it, half of Corus should know by now. Woe.
Day 210: Left for desert. V. sandy, not good for skin. Sexy rides next to me. V. pleasing.
Day 215: Lured into large black city. V. shiny, v. quiet. Went with Sexy.
Later...: At oasis. Just came back from fighting evil desert-people demons. Suspicions confirmed. Sexy IS a girl. Well better for me. Maybe snogging tonight?
Much later...: Nope. No snogging. Sexy and I bathed. Not together. Tempted to look while he, no she, splashed. Resisted. Instead, peeked into diary. Sympathetic about God-snogs.
Day 216: Lecture from Uncle and Cousin. Woe.
Day 217: Almost told Gary about Sexy being girl. Realized it would spoil my fun, as am told Gary is hotter than me. Combined sulking and joy. Odd.
Day 218: Alex found my diary, though didn't believe about Sexy. Nor that I call her Sexy. Not safe to keep diary any more. Must burn.
~~~~
A/N: In response to Dancing Dove Very Secret Diary ) Write a diary in the Bridget Jones style for a character from Tamora Pierce. Fun fun fun. Set during First Adventure, I present to you:
The Very Secret Diary of Jonathan of Conte.
~~~~~
Day One: Met new page today. Short, v. attractive, redhead. Says name is Alan of Trebond. Will call him Sexy. Sexy called Ralon of Malven pig- kisser. Damn lucky pigs. Sigh. No pigs for heir. Damn soveriegn parents.
Day Four: Showed Sexy palace. He stammered and called me Highness more. V. v. on-turning.
Day Twelve: Sexy and I met in my rooms. Had long talk about bullies. More calling me Highness. Am tired of it, so told him to call me Jon. Tried to get some action by hugging, though he didn't get the hint. V. sad.
Day Twenty-three: Sexy refused to go swimming. V. depressing. Advantages: ...none Disadvantages: Cannot touch Sexy. Cannot see Sexy topless.
Day Eighty-six: Lost diary. Found again under bed. Went to Corus with Sexy. Met his hot friend George Cooper. Is King of theives. Is single. Walked back to palace together. Received touches from Sexy. Go me!
Midwinter: Excellent! Snogged with Delia of Eldorne after feast. V. pleasing. Sexy got all piffed and locked self in room. Tried talking. Didn't work. Sought out Myles instead. Am Squire. Go me!
Day 134: V. sad. Mother sick w/sweating fever.
Day 136: More sickness. Friend died. V. sad. Was v. good at snogging.
Day 140: Am sick now. People making noise and smoking up air. Can't write.
Day 142: Yay... Sexy came and tried healing me with fancy purple light. Sweat- soaked tunic stuck to chest. V. v. v. on-turning. Sexy looks rather feminine though. Will ask him about that.
Day 144: Healed again. Asked Sexy about feminine chest and womanly voice. Said I was delirious and ran away. Odd.
Day 172: Left diary in Dancing Dove. GC read to the entire tavern. V. embarassing. Saw v. pretty red-head in dress there. Bears strong resemblense to Sexy. Saw her leave Dove. Sexy was v. v. v. sweaty coming back. Said something about stables with Raoul. Cousin Roger back. Yay! Uncle v. v. v. v. hot. Hotter than Sexy. Wow...
Later: Yay! No stabled Sexy for Raoul. Came back v. sulky, said Sexy gave punishment work as excuse. Almost feel bad for Raoul.
Day 176: Go me! Asked Uncle Gary if Sexy could come to desert with us for summer trip. Uncle said yes. Yay!
Day 200: Left diary in stables. Stefan read. V. v. embarassing. Will everyone know my life before I'm knighted? With Stefan AND GC reading it, half of Corus should know by now. Woe.
Day 210: Left for desert. V. sandy, not good for skin. Sexy rides next to me. V. pleasing.
Day 215: Lured into large black city. V. shiny, v. quiet. Went with Sexy.
Later...: At oasis. Just came back from fighting evil desert-people demons. Suspicions confirmed. Sexy IS a girl. Well better for me. Maybe snogging tonight?
Much later...: Nope. No snogging. Sexy and I bathed. Not together. Tempted to look while he, no she, splashed. Resisted. Instead, peeked into diary. Sympathetic about God-snogs.
Day 216: Lecture from Uncle and Cousin. Woe.
Day 217: Almost told Gary about Sexy being girl. Realized it would spoil my fun, as am told Gary is hotter than me. Combined sulking and joy. Odd.
Day 218: Alex found my diary, though didn't believe about Sexy. Nor that I call her Sexy. Not safe to keep diary any more. Must burn.
~~~~