Epilogue.
Perry stood at the foot of his daughter's headstone. It read 3 letters, 2 words.
Little Girl
R.I.P.
A slight breeze hit the lone doctor, and he tightened his jacket around him. It was a silent gray morning. Perry had wanted to come many times to see her, but, he just couldn't bring himself over his rage and sorrow.
He would never hold her again.
Never see her again.
Never love her...........again.
Death was the end.
And, whether or not the doctor would admit it to himself that it was; it was still conscience in his heart.
He continued to stare at the grave, covered with small blue flowers. He could feel himself begin to give into the truth...............she was never coming back. He failed. Failed....... that word brought so much pain to his conscience. It was his fault. All of it.
Perry bowed his head, feeling the tears begin to flow. As always he'd try to fight them back, but this time......this time, they came as easy as a flood.
While he stood in his own tormented world of loss, another was watching from not too afar. She came over slowly and stood next to him. Feeling him weep was one of the hardest things she had ever known. She sighed. The flat of her palm reached his back, and she massaged it in a circle. Even through the thickness of his jacket, she could still feel his tight knots in his aching back. He tried to lift his head, but found that unnecessary as she spoke in a soft familiar voice.
"You tried." Cox bit his lip to stop the sobbing. She neared him, but kept rubbing his back.
"It's okay. You can cry. Please. Just cry. Let it out. Let all of that pain out. It's not your fault."
Perry did. He let it out. He fell on his knees and wept in sheer despair. Not even he had realized he held so much anger in his tormented body. He sobbed and sobbed, not trying to stop it, not trying anymore. He had quit trying his whole life. He failed doing.
He was so angry with everyone for letting this happen. Or at least he wanted to be. He wanted someone to blame. The parents were the number one contestants too, but, he knew he could have tried harder.....or at all. And, it was his sole conflict, and it would bite at him every time it was reminded to him. But Carla only kneeled with him to share the pain.
When Perry had flushed out most of what had been in him, he sat silently. He reached onto the grave, stroking the dirt away to reveal...............cold dirt. Carla said nothing, and for a few unspoken moments, the two friends somehow began to bond again. In a silent understanding of suffering. Carla reached over and gripped his loose hand. She held it firmly, not wanting him to drift away from her.
"I'm here you know...," she quietly said. "I am always here. I am ready to listen, when you're ready to talk." Perry said nothing.
She released his cold hand, and stood up. After a small pause, she began to turn to walk away.
"Carla," Dr. Cox said in a dry voice. She stopped, but didn't turn around.
"If you tell anyone about this....," He smiled threateningly.
Carla smiled, "I'll see you back at the hospital Doctor." And, left.
Perry turned his attention towards his little girl's resting place. He sat in an almost comforting silence, then said, "You know Cameron, I know you didn't mean those things you said to me. You were just really pissed off. Or at least I hope. But, I can relate to that. You know, before you came around, I hadn't come to truly realize how miserable I really was, and how that was making everyone around me miserable." He paused, feeling tears emerging.
"But you showed me what a real friend was. You showed me what true love was. Solid happiness. You gave me unconditional love, when I tried to deny it. But, now that............well, you're buried 6 feet under, I just wanted to thank you." Tears were now flowing freely down his face. He shrugged nervously, "hey, I guess it's better late than never. But, you'll always be my little girl. In life........," He began to choke in shock. "or ........death." He could feel a forceful emotion creeping upon him, "But I love you. And, I know now that you're in a way happier place, somewhere that I can't wait to be...........if I even make it there. But you showed me a new way. You showed me so much. And I love you. I'm sorry."
He got up off his knees, now brown from the moist dirt. He sighed, and looked up to the sky. There were no clouds, just gray. It was going to rain soon. He stole one last glance at her bed. "Daddy loves you baby."
For that one moment, a miracle seemed to take place. Cox realized how much he had changed, and for the better. A constant pain in his chest had finally vanished. He could breathe freely now. Perry lowered his head, and stared at the stone. He thanked her silently.
He turned back to the hospital. He was needed there now. Someone depended upon him now. Perry paused and knew that death wasn't the end. It was never the end. Cox walked to the hospital, preparing himself for another day of torturing the newbies, but, secretly he had always appreciated their mindless obedience.
J.D. had been searching for his Cox. He had some good news to expose, but he couldn't find his doctor. He was running around confused and tired. When Carla finally spotted him.
"Hey bambi," J.D. spun towards her direction and rushed to her.
"Carla! Do you know where doctor Cox is?"
The nurse remained silent. She was deciding her words carefully, when a very loud and cold Dr. Cox stormed in.
"What is it Dorothy? Do you need me to baby-sit again?"
Carla nodded. J.D. was about to object, when Cox held his hand up, in a direct command of shut up.
"Don't worry, today's on me." He glanced at J.D. "Whatta you need kiddo? I don't have all day."
"Well," J.D. started, but Perry grabbed his arm and forced him to follow along.
"Well what?"
"Well, I just had a question about Dr. Reynolds."
Cox rolled his eyes. This guy again?
"Yes, I'm listening Sheryl."
"He changed his mind."
Cox didn't stop walking, but felt extremely shocked by this.
"And, what does that exactly mean newbie?"
"He wants the surgery. He wants to live!"
Dr. Cox just nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Don't we all."
"Oh." J.D. sputtered quickly, his gleeful mood vanished, as he spoke, "Um, about Cameron."
Cox stopped. He exhaled, "yeah?"
J.D. looked him in the eye and said, "I just wanted to say how sorry I am."
Perry didn't respond for a while, just stood there listening to his amazing pupil. Well, actually J.D. had taught him more about life like Cameron did, than Cox had ever. But, the doctor shrugged and said, "Me too."
J.D. noted how depressed his mentor had become. He knew he shouldn't go any further with this discussion, but he had to know.
"Do you miss her?"
"Yes. A lot."
"What's it like loosing someone that meant so much to you?"
Perry took some time to think about which words would match perfectly with it. When he found them, he said this, "It hurts more than you'll ever know."
"Oh."
An awkward silence was exchanged between them, and J.D. tried to say something, but his teacher got to it first.
"Thanks newbie. And...," He shrugged nervously, ".....I do appreciate you."
J.D.'s eyes grew enormous.
"Now get out of here, what are you? A doctor or a owl!? MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!" Cox barked at him, J.D. fled.
Dr. Cox watched as his newbie nearly slammed into a nurse, and tripped to over the janitor's mop again. He smiled off to his next client.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~
Thank you to all who read this, I thank all reviewers! Thank yee guys!
And to Harriet, whom this story would not have been as good as it was w/ out her ideas and awesome writing gift.
See you later
dory
Perry stood at the foot of his daughter's headstone. It read 3 letters, 2 words.
Little Girl
R.I.P.
A slight breeze hit the lone doctor, and he tightened his jacket around him. It was a silent gray morning. Perry had wanted to come many times to see her, but, he just couldn't bring himself over his rage and sorrow.
He would never hold her again.
Never see her again.
Never love her...........again.
Death was the end.
And, whether or not the doctor would admit it to himself that it was; it was still conscience in his heart.
He continued to stare at the grave, covered with small blue flowers. He could feel himself begin to give into the truth...............she was never coming back. He failed. Failed....... that word brought so much pain to his conscience. It was his fault. All of it.
Perry bowed his head, feeling the tears begin to flow. As always he'd try to fight them back, but this time......this time, they came as easy as a flood.
While he stood in his own tormented world of loss, another was watching from not too afar. She came over slowly and stood next to him. Feeling him weep was one of the hardest things she had ever known. She sighed. The flat of her palm reached his back, and she massaged it in a circle. Even through the thickness of his jacket, she could still feel his tight knots in his aching back. He tried to lift his head, but found that unnecessary as she spoke in a soft familiar voice.
"You tried." Cox bit his lip to stop the sobbing. She neared him, but kept rubbing his back.
"It's okay. You can cry. Please. Just cry. Let it out. Let all of that pain out. It's not your fault."
Perry did. He let it out. He fell on his knees and wept in sheer despair. Not even he had realized he held so much anger in his tormented body. He sobbed and sobbed, not trying to stop it, not trying anymore. He had quit trying his whole life. He failed doing.
He was so angry with everyone for letting this happen. Or at least he wanted to be. He wanted someone to blame. The parents were the number one contestants too, but, he knew he could have tried harder.....or at all. And, it was his sole conflict, and it would bite at him every time it was reminded to him. But Carla only kneeled with him to share the pain.
When Perry had flushed out most of what had been in him, he sat silently. He reached onto the grave, stroking the dirt away to reveal...............cold dirt. Carla said nothing, and for a few unspoken moments, the two friends somehow began to bond again. In a silent understanding of suffering. Carla reached over and gripped his loose hand. She held it firmly, not wanting him to drift away from her.
"I'm here you know...," she quietly said. "I am always here. I am ready to listen, when you're ready to talk." Perry said nothing.
She released his cold hand, and stood up. After a small pause, she began to turn to walk away.
"Carla," Dr. Cox said in a dry voice. She stopped, but didn't turn around.
"If you tell anyone about this....," He smiled threateningly.
Carla smiled, "I'll see you back at the hospital Doctor." And, left.
Perry turned his attention towards his little girl's resting place. He sat in an almost comforting silence, then said, "You know Cameron, I know you didn't mean those things you said to me. You were just really pissed off. Or at least I hope. But, I can relate to that. You know, before you came around, I hadn't come to truly realize how miserable I really was, and how that was making everyone around me miserable." He paused, feeling tears emerging.
"But you showed me what a real friend was. You showed me what true love was. Solid happiness. You gave me unconditional love, when I tried to deny it. But, now that............well, you're buried 6 feet under, I just wanted to thank you." Tears were now flowing freely down his face. He shrugged nervously, "hey, I guess it's better late than never. But, you'll always be my little girl. In life........," He began to choke in shock. "or ........death." He could feel a forceful emotion creeping upon him, "But I love you. And, I know now that you're in a way happier place, somewhere that I can't wait to be...........if I even make it there. But you showed me a new way. You showed me so much. And I love you. I'm sorry."
He got up off his knees, now brown from the moist dirt. He sighed, and looked up to the sky. There were no clouds, just gray. It was going to rain soon. He stole one last glance at her bed. "Daddy loves you baby."
For that one moment, a miracle seemed to take place. Cox realized how much he had changed, and for the better. A constant pain in his chest had finally vanished. He could breathe freely now. Perry lowered his head, and stared at the stone. He thanked her silently.
He turned back to the hospital. He was needed there now. Someone depended upon him now. Perry paused and knew that death wasn't the end. It was never the end. Cox walked to the hospital, preparing himself for another day of torturing the newbies, but, secretly he had always appreciated their mindless obedience.
J.D. had been searching for his Cox. He had some good news to expose, but he couldn't find his doctor. He was running around confused and tired. When Carla finally spotted him.
"Hey bambi," J.D. spun towards her direction and rushed to her.
"Carla! Do you know where doctor Cox is?"
The nurse remained silent. She was deciding her words carefully, when a very loud and cold Dr. Cox stormed in.
"What is it Dorothy? Do you need me to baby-sit again?"
Carla nodded. J.D. was about to object, when Cox held his hand up, in a direct command of shut up.
"Don't worry, today's on me." He glanced at J.D. "Whatta you need kiddo? I don't have all day."
"Well," J.D. started, but Perry grabbed his arm and forced him to follow along.
"Well what?"
"Well, I just had a question about Dr. Reynolds."
Cox rolled his eyes. This guy again?
"Yes, I'm listening Sheryl."
"He changed his mind."
Cox didn't stop walking, but felt extremely shocked by this.
"And, what does that exactly mean newbie?"
"He wants the surgery. He wants to live!"
Dr. Cox just nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Don't we all."
"Oh." J.D. sputtered quickly, his gleeful mood vanished, as he spoke, "Um, about Cameron."
Cox stopped. He exhaled, "yeah?"
J.D. looked him in the eye and said, "I just wanted to say how sorry I am."
Perry didn't respond for a while, just stood there listening to his amazing pupil. Well, actually J.D. had taught him more about life like Cameron did, than Cox had ever. But, the doctor shrugged and said, "Me too."
J.D. noted how depressed his mentor had become. He knew he shouldn't go any further with this discussion, but he had to know.
"Do you miss her?"
"Yes. A lot."
"What's it like loosing someone that meant so much to you?"
Perry took some time to think about which words would match perfectly with it. When he found them, he said this, "It hurts more than you'll ever know."
"Oh."
An awkward silence was exchanged between them, and J.D. tried to say something, but his teacher got to it first.
"Thanks newbie. And...," He shrugged nervously, ".....I do appreciate you."
J.D.'s eyes grew enormous.
"Now get out of here, what are you? A doctor or a owl!? MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!" Cox barked at him, J.D. fled.
Dr. Cox watched as his newbie nearly slammed into a nurse, and tripped to over the janitor's mop again. He smiled off to his next client.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~
Thank you to all who read this, I thank all reviewers! Thank yee guys!
And to Harriet, whom this story would not have been as good as it was w/ out her ideas and awesome writing gift.
See you later
dory