Dilemma
Chapter Two – Death
Kagome glanced the Shikon no Tama in Inuyasha's hands and its shine pierced her heart. Why the hell he told her that things?! It wasn't fair, she couldn't compete with Kikyou... or could she? "And will you go?" she asked him, looking deeply into his eyes. "I don't know," he answered surprised, "I think you would know this. After all I've told you, it was pretty clear I don't know what to do," "Clear?" Kagome said grinning, "Are you kidding me, Inuyasha? You... you and her... you know what you did last night... and then you say to me you have doubts!" "Sex isn't everything," he mumbled skeptically. "Inuyasha, if you like to make love with a dead woman, then I'm sure you really love her," Kagome looked to her own feet, thinking about that situation. How Inuyasha could desire a dead woman? It was so morbid that the only explanation was he loved her. "For me she isn't dead, Kagome. I can see Kikyou walking, talking, smiling... she's so alive as you or me," "What? I don't want to listen to this craziness anymore," she said and started back to the village. He was out of his mind. How could he desire a corpse more than a young woman that loved him sincerely? Kagome was so furious that she got surprised when she felt his strong hand grabbing her arm. He turned her around, their eyes met. "Forgive me," he said, and those words melt the ice that was starting to cover Kagome's heart. She felt a heat growing inside and blushed. "I'm certainly not polite," Inuyasha started, finding the best words he knew to express his confused feelings, "And I'm so clumsy that I'm always hurting the people I love most. But I'm sure I don't want you to leave this way because it hurts when I think in not seeing you anymore," "So..." she was saying when he interrupted her. "Let me finish, Kagome," he asked, "I know it seemed cruel when I told you what happened last night, but the truth is the only thing that can make a real love go on. And if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have any doubts." "So are trying to say that you aren't now with Kikyou because you love me?" "Yes, but there's more. I'm also trying to say that I'm not with you now because I don't know if I can live without Kikyou for the rest of my life," Kagome felt some relief when she discovered that Inuyasha's indecision was caused because he loved her and not because he pitied her. And it was all she needed to make her decision. "Inuyasha, if you can't make your decision, I can make mine," Kagome started, asking his to just listen to her, "Yesterday I was thinking about how it would be if you and I decided to live together. I don't belong this world, and you don't belong the world where I live. I was panicked when I thought perhaps we couldn't be together even if we both wanted. And there was Kikyou, too. 'I can't compete with her' I thought, but now I realize that she is in the same position I am, because she doesn't belong your world and you don't belong hers." Inuyasha heard Kagome's words and somehow they stabbed his heart. He didn't like to think about Kikyou as a dead woman, but the way Kagome was explaining the situation it seemed she was almost dead either. "So I'm decided. If I want to be with you and if I want to compete with Kikyou, I have to die. When you use the Shikon no Tama to become human, the passage between our worlds will close and then I'll be dead to my world. I will die for you." "I didn't want to ask you this, but if I decide to stay with Kikyou?" Inuyasha inquired. "I will wander in this world for the rest of my life. Just like Kikyou will if you decide to stay with me," They stood in silence, looking at each other, trying to figure out their thoughts. Inuyasha was sad with Kagome's decision, but he knew anything he said would change her stubborn mind. "If you want do it, I understand you," he said, "I'll make my decision and then I'll meet you in Kaede's house," "No," Kagome said, smiling. Inuyasha had never seen that cynical smile in Kagome's face before, and it was disconcerting him, "I won't make things easier for you, Inuyasha. I'll be waiting for you in the tree you've been sealed for 50 years. Side by side to Kikyou. After all, we both deserve it; I want to hear your decision in front of both of us, it couldn't last any doubts." "It would be extremely cruel, Kagome..." he tried to argue, but she wasn't listening to him, "I'll be there," he added and then started to walk away. He was about to sink in the deep forest when he felt someone embracing him. It was Kagome, he recognized her petite body close to his back and her soft hand in his waist. "But I want a fair decision," she mumbled. "What do you mean?" he asked turning to her. Kagome's eyes were full of warmth. "It means me and Kikyou merit the same opportunities to prove our worth," Inuyasha felt his heart would stop. Perhaps he was misunderstanding her words, but... the way Kagome was caressing his chest... no, it couldn't happen. "You know you don't need to do it to prove anything" Inuyasha snapped angryly. "I know, but I need to do it because if you decide to stay with Kikyou I have to have some good memories to remember," "Kagome, it's not right," he said. "Why? Why isn't it right? I need to have the confidence that someday I'll close my eyes and feel you close to me. I need to think that someday we were only one being. I need to have you in my body forever, like a scar." "You don't know what you're saying," he alleged, "I'm not human. A half youkai isn't the right mate for you," "But it was for Kikyou!" she shouted. "Kikyou's a woman, she know the consequences of her acts," Inuyasha responded. "I'm a woman, too, Inuyasha," Kagome started, "You can't deal with me like you deal with a young girl because after all I've lived, I'm not a girl anymore." Her eyes darkened, "I've saw people dying, war, orphan children, desperate widows, families being tore apart, a girl killing her brother to give peace to him. I've saw angst, madness, vengeance, cruelty, pain, rage, selfishness, havoc... Now I need to see true love." She left Inuyasha speechless and then she leaned over him and kissed his lips with passion. Kagome felt her legs trembling, but her love for Inuyasha was giving her strength to go on. She passed her hands through Inuyasha's soft hair and wondered how he could have a so beautiful hair without caring about it. Inuyasha wasn't moving as she kissed him, he seemed thinking if he should give up to Kagome's plead. Her words touched his heart deeply and awoke a wish that was under lock and key. Since Inuyasha noticed that he liked Kagome much more than he imagined, he longed to have her sweet body in his arms. Many times he had dreamed with her, dreamed one day they would be together, but... But he feared this day. Kagome was a tender, delicate girl and he couldn't face the probability of hurting her. In his entire life he had made love with only one woman, and she was Kikyou. They loved each other very much, and she always endured the darkest sides of his half youkai existence; she even liked it. However, how would he know if Kagome was ready for him? "Inuyasha," started Kagome, feeling the doubts in his mind, "Can you answer me a question?" "Sure," "Did you ever feel I was afraid of you?" "No," "So, believe me now," Kagome moaned in his ear, "I'm not afraid," He finally held her with love and they kissed, laying on the rough ground shaded by trees. Their movements were harmonious, and Kagome felt love emanating from everything. She whispered words that came directly from her heart and screamed her sensations to the wind; pleasure invaded her life forever and drained all her forces.
Kagome opened her eyes slowly and was glad she didn't find a bright light over her head. A voice started to talk but she didn't understand a word. There was a whirlwind of confused thoughts and feelings in her mind and for some minutes she just felt lost. "Say something, Kagome," the voice said, "Are you okay?" Kagome's eyes focused the person who was talking with her and she opened a great smile. "Sango... it was you..." she moaned, "What's up?" "It's exactly what I'm trying to know," Sango said, "What happened with you?" "What do you mean?" asked Kagome, still confused. "Well, some hours ago you came back to the village seeming weak and bemused. Since then, you've been sleeping here," Kagome remembered the last happenings in her life and smiled again, but then she sat quickly. "Sango, don't worry, it's everything fine," Sango was perplexed. Something have changed in Kagome, but... what could be? She studied her friend's face and recognized a expression she knew some days ago. "It's not true..." Sango said amused, "Don't lie to me, Kagome! Tell me what happened!" "Oh... I can't..." Kagome blushed, "And I have to go now..." "I won't let you go, girl," Sango interrupted holding Kagome's hands in hers, "First you'll tell me if what I'm thinking is true," "I guess so," she answered, "And I'm sure you can't imagine what I'm feeling now... It was so different from all I have imagined..." "It's always different," Sango agreed. "You didn't understand me... It was singular because... you know... he's not human... I can't explain... a kind of painful pleasure..." They embraced each other and friendship explained all the feelings that words couldn't traduce. "But, Sango," Kagome started again, "I'll have to go now, and perhaps we're not going to see each other again," "I don't understand..." Sango said confused, "You and Inuyasha... Aren't you going to marry? "I don't know..." she mumbled, "He'll decide today... Kikyou is still important to him..." Sango got up and looked firmly to Kagome. "So you have to go, my friend. Go on and beat that bitch!" They laughed, but it was a laugh full of apprehension. Sango really thought that Inuyasha were going to choose Kagome, but she was nervous too. After Kagome leaved, Miroku entered the small house and kissed Sango gently. "What's goin' on?" "Inuyasha will decide if he'll stay with Kagome or Kikyou," "Oh," Miroku's eyes gloomed, "It won't be easy..." "Do you have any idea of his decision?" Sango asked full of curiosity. "Nope," he said, "I would pick both of them..." Sango slapped him with love and they smiled, kissing to forget all that problems.
Kikyou was leaned against the tree in which she'd sealed Inuyasha 50 years ago. After Naraku's death she didn't feel sorrow anymore, revenge has washed the stains in her heart. Someway, she started to dream again. The sunset dyed sky with purple and dark orange tones, and she remembered all the good times she had with Inuyasha. She urged to live that love again and her eyes glittered when she saw Inuyasha walking towards her. "I knew you would come," she said with relief and joy. "Wait," a voice said, coming out from the shadows of the trees. Kagome approached them and was washed by light. "What are you doing here?" Kikyou asked puzzled. "I won't make things easier for you, as I've told Inuyasha before," Kagome said, "Whatever his decision is, he'll have to say in front of both of us," "Okay," Kikyou agreed confident, "Tell her, Inuyasha," she added, turning to him. Inuyasha stared them, distressed. It was time to play his role in that drama.
------------------------------------------ Which will be Inuyasha's final decision? Who deserves our hero's heart, Kagome or Kikyou? Don't miss the last thrilling part of Dilemma story! Soon it'll be updated in Fanfiction.net!
Authoress: Kirika E-mail: kirika@hellokitty.com ------------------------------------------
Chapter Two – Death
Kagome glanced the Shikon no Tama in Inuyasha's hands and its shine pierced her heart. Why the hell he told her that things?! It wasn't fair, she couldn't compete with Kikyou... or could she? "And will you go?" she asked him, looking deeply into his eyes. "I don't know," he answered surprised, "I think you would know this. After all I've told you, it was pretty clear I don't know what to do," "Clear?" Kagome said grinning, "Are you kidding me, Inuyasha? You... you and her... you know what you did last night... and then you say to me you have doubts!" "Sex isn't everything," he mumbled skeptically. "Inuyasha, if you like to make love with a dead woman, then I'm sure you really love her," Kagome looked to her own feet, thinking about that situation. How Inuyasha could desire a dead woman? It was so morbid that the only explanation was he loved her. "For me she isn't dead, Kagome. I can see Kikyou walking, talking, smiling... she's so alive as you or me," "What? I don't want to listen to this craziness anymore," she said and started back to the village. He was out of his mind. How could he desire a corpse more than a young woman that loved him sincerely? Kagome was so furious that she got surprised when she felt his strong hand grabbing her arm. He turned her around, their eyes met. "Forgive me," he said, and those words melt the ice that was starting to cover Kagome's heart. She felt a heat growing inside and blushed. "I'm certainly not polite," Inuyasha started, finding the best words he knew to express his confused feelings, "And I'm so clumsy that I'm always hurting the people I love most. But I'm sure I don't want you to leave this way because it hurts when I think in not seeing you anymore," "So..." she was saying when he interrupted her. "Let me finish, Kagome," he asked, "I know it seemed cruel when I told you what happened last night, but the truth is the only thing that can make a real love go on. And if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have any doubts." "So are trying to say that you aren't now with Kikyou because you love me?" "Yes, but there's more. I'm also trying to say that I'm not with you now because I don't know if I can live without Kikyou for the rest of my life," Kagome felt some relief when she discovered that Inuyasha's indecision was caused because he loved her and not because he pitied her. And it was all she needed to make her decision. "Inuyasha, if you can't make your decision, I can make mine," Kagome started, asking his to just listen to her, "Yesterday I was thinking about how it would be if you and I decided to live together. I don't belong this world, and you don't belong the world where I live. I was panicked when I thought perhaps we couldn't be together even if we both wanted. And there was Kikyou, too. 'I can't compete with her' I thought, but now I realize that she is in the same position I am, because she doesn't belong your world and you don't belong hers." Inuyasha heard Kagome's words and somehow they stabbed his heart. He didn't like to think about Kikyou as a dead woman, but the way Kagome was explaining the situation it seemed she was almost dead either. "So I'm decided. If I want to be with you and if I want to compete with Kikyou, I have to die. When you use the Shikon no Tama to become human, the passage between our worlds will close and then I'll be dead to my world. I will die for you." "I didn't want to ask you this, but if I decide to stay with Kikyou?" Inuyasha inquired. "I will wander in this world for the rest of my life. Just like Kikyou will if you decide to stay with me," They stood in silence, looking at each other, trying to figure out their thoughts. Inuyasha was sad with Kagome's decision, but he knew anything he said would change her stubborn mind. "If you want do it, I understand you," he said, "I'll make my decision and then I'll meet you in Kaede's house," "No," Kagome said, smiling. Inuyasha had never seen that cynical smile in Kagome's face before, and it was disconcerting him, "I won't make things easier for you, Inuyasha. I'll be waiting for you in the tree you've been sealed for 50 years. Side by side to Kikyou. After all, we both deserve it; I want to hear your decision in front of both of us, it couldn't last any doubts." "It would be extremely cruel, Kagome..." he tried to argue, but she wasn't listening to him, "I'll be there," he added and then started to walk away. He was about to sink in the deep forest when he felt someone embracing him. It was Kagome, he recognized her petite body close to his back and her soft hand in his waist. "But I want a fair decision," she mumbled. "What do you mean?" he asked turning to her. Kagome's eyes were full of warmth. "It means me and Kikyou merit the same opportunities to prove our worth," Inuyasha felt his heart would stop. Perhaps he was misunderstanding her words, but... the way Kagome was caressing his chest... no, it couldn't happen. "You know you don't need to do it to prove anything" Inuyasha snapped angryly. "I know, but I need to do it because if you decide to stay with Kikyou I have to have some good memories to remember," "Kagome, it's not right," he said. "Why? Why isn't it right? I need to have the confidence that someday I'll close my eyes and feel you close to me. I need to think that someday we were only one being. I need to have you in my body forever, like a scar." "You don't know what you're saying," he alleged, "I'm not human. A half youkai isn't the right mate for you," "But it was for Kikyou!" she shouted. "Kikyou's a woman, she know the consequences of her acts," Inuyasha responded. "I'm a woman, too, Inuyasha," Kagome started, "You can't deal with me like you deal with a young girl because after all I've lived, I'm not a girl anymore." Her eyes darkened, "I've saw people dying, war, orphan children, desperate widows, families being tore apart, a girl killing her brother to give peace to him. I've saw angst, madness, vengeance, cruelty, pain, rage, selfishness, havoc... Now I need to see true love." She left Inuyasha speechless and then she leaned over him and kissed his lips with passion. Kagome felt her legs trembling, but her love for Inuyasha was giving her strength to go on. She passed her hands through Inuyasha's soft hair and wondered how he could have a so beautiful hair without caring about it. Inuyasha wasn't moving as she kissed him, he seemed thinking if he should give up to Kagome's plead. Her words touched his heart deeply and awoke a wish that was under lock and key. Since Inuyasha noticed that he liked Kagome much more than he imagined, he longed to have her sweet body in his arms. Many times he had dreamed with her, dreamed one day they would be together, but... But he feared this day. Kagome was a tender, delicate girl and he couldn't face the probability of hurting her. In his entire life he had made love with only one woman, and she was Kikyou. They loved each other very much, and she always endured the darkest sides of his half youkai existence; she even liked it. However, how would he know if Kagome was ready for him? "Inuyasha," started Kagome, feeling the doubts in his mind, "Can you answer me a question?" "Sure," "Did you ever feel I was afraid of you?" "No," "So, believe me now," Kagome moaned in his ear, "I'm not afraid," He finally held her with love and they kissed, laying on the rough ground shaded by trees. Their movements were harmonious, and Kagome felt love emanating from everything. She whispered words that came directly from her heart and screamed her sensations to the wind; pleasure invaded her life forever and drained all her forces.
Kagome opened her eyes slowly and was glad she didn't find a bright light over her head. A voice started to talk but she didn't understand a word. There was a whirlwind of confused thoughts and feelings in her mind and for some minutes she just felt lost. "Say something, Kagome," the voice said, "Are you okay?" Kagome's eyes focused the person who was talking with her and she opened a great smile. "Sango... it was you..." she moaned, "What's up?" "It's exactly what I'm trying to know," Sango said, "What happened with you?" "What do you mean?" asked Kagome, still confused. "Well, some hours ago you came back to the village seeming weak and bemused. Since then, you've been sleeping here," Kagome remembered the last happenings in her life and smiled again, but then she sat quickly. "Sango, don't worry, it's everything fine," Sango was perplexed. Something have changed in Kagome, but... what could be? She studied her friend's face and recognized a expression she knew some days ago. "It's not true..." Sango said amused, "Don't lie to me, Kagome! Tell me what happened!" "Oh... I can't..." Kagome blushed, "And I have to go now..." "I won't let you go, girl," Sango interrupted holding Kagome's hands in hers, "First you'll tell me if what I'm thinking is true," "I guess so," she answered, "And I'm sure you can't imagine what I'm feeling now... It was so different from all I have imagined..." "It's always different," Sango agreed. "You didn't understand me... It was singular because... you know... he's not human... I can't explain... a kind of painful pleasure..." They embraced each other and friendship explained all the feelings that words couldn't traduce. "But, Sango," Kagome started again, "I'll have to go now, and perhaps we're not going to see each other again," "I don't understand..." Sango said confused, "You and Inuyasha... Aren't you going to marry? "I don't know..." she mumbled, "He'll decide today... Kikyou is still important to him..." Sango got up and looked firmly to Kagome. "So you have to go, my friend. Go on and beat that bitch!" They laughed, but it was a laugh full of apprehension. Sango really thought that Inuyasha were going to choose Kagome, but she was nervous too. After Kagome leaved, Miroku entered the small house and kissed Sango gently. "What's goin' on?" "Inuyasha will decide if he'll stay with Kagome or Kikyou," "Oh," Miroku's eyes gloomed, "It won't be easy..." "Do you have any idea of his decision?" Sango asked full of curiosity. "Nope," he said, "I would pick both of them..." Sango slapped him with love and they smiled, kissing to forget all that problems.
Kikyou was leaned against the tree in which she'd sealed Inuyasha 50 years ago. After Naraku's death she didn't feel sorrow anymore, revenge has washed the stains in her heart. Someway, she started to dream again. The sunset dyed sky with purple and dark orange tones, and she remembered all the good times she had with Inuyasha. She urged to live that love again and her eyes glittered when she saw Inuyasha walking towards her. "I knew you would come," she said with relief and joy. "Wait," a voice said, coming out from the shadows of the trees. Kagome approached them and was washed by light. "What are you doing here?" Kikyou asked puzzled. "I won't make things easier for you, as I've told Inuyasha before," Kagome said, "Whatever his decision is, he'll have to say in front of both of us," "Okay," Kikyou agreed confident, "Tell her, Inuyasha," she added, turning to him. Inuyasha stared them, distressed. It was time to play his role in that drama.
------------------------------------------ Which will be Inuyasha's final decision? Who deserves our hero's heart, Kagome or Kikyou? Don't miss the last thrilling part of Dilemma story! Soon it'll be updated in Fanfiction.net!
Authoress: Kirika E-mail: kirika@hellokitty.com ------------------------------------------