Part 12
The black walls were crowding in on her. Ch'ali touched the throbbing pulse on her neck. She could see nothing around her. Desperately, she searched for a way out. Ch'ali looked up and saw only vast darkness that threatened to choke her.
"There's one way out."
Ch'ali whirled around in the cramped space. She pushed her hair away from her face. She recognized the voice. It was the voice of one she loved, hated, and even feared at the same time. "Vilandra," she whispered.
"Well, well." The blacks walls around her vanished. "You remember me." Ch'ali saw the beautiful Antarian princess standing a few feet away from her. "I'm touched," Vilandra mocked.
"I've done what you wanted ever since, Vilandra. I've left your brother and your kingdom to you." Ch'ali shook her head, confused about why there was still such anger in the princess' eyes.
"I see you're happy."
"Just leave me alone, Vilandra. Burn the link that allows you to come to me. I am no longer part of your life," Ch'ali told her, her voice not pleading the way it used to be but firm.
"As much as I'd love to," the statuesque blonde drawled, "Zan would not. He and Rath are going there, Ch'ali. And you can say goodbye to whatever life you have there. They will drag you back here kicking and screaming."
"Zan wanted me out of Antar," Ch'ali replied, using Vilandra's own insinuations the day she was sent away.
The princess' mouth curved. "Zan was opposed to one thing." She extended her arm and held her palm up. Ch'ali's lips parted when a curled image of a fetus appeared on Vilandra's hand. "With Zan's abilities-" In front of her, the baby burst into blue flame. "Imagine how easy it would be to solve the problem."
Ch'ali shot up from her bed with her arms clutched around her stomach. She was left gasping for breath, soaked in cold sweat. For a few moment, she was stunned and frozen.
"Ch'ali." She felt Lexan's arms wrap around her, his lips pressing against her nape. "You're all right. You're beautiful," he whispered in reassurance.
She closed her eyes and felt her tears seep out. Ch'ali tried to blink them away. She extricated herself from his embrace and lay back down on the bed. Instead of turning away, Lexan pressed up behind her and warmed her back.
He heard her sniffle. Lexan did not speak. Finally, Ch'ali turned in his arms and cried against his chest.
"It's almost winter," she said softly, before falling asleep.
Lexan looked out the window and saw that indeed, there were gray skies in the far horizon. Slowly, he raised his arm and carefully pushed away all the clouds.
And then he closed his eyes.
~~
Storms never came and Ch'ali flourished. Outside the castle, the kingdom burned.
Ch'ali waxed until she believed that she looked like the Antarian moon she was born under. The blossoms on her cheeks reminded her of the small red flowers that fell from her childhood garden and carpeted her home.
Often, Lexan would be occupied with matters of the state. Every day the line outside the castle grew longer. Farmers worried; wives wept; children starved. He attended to each with diligent concern and a sincere desire to help.
Sometimes, Ch'ali wanted to step into the throne room to sit beside her husband. He asked her not to. On the back of her mind, Ch'ali wondered why the rains never came to a kingdom that had been fertile and blessed for centuries before she came. Yet any doubts flew away whenever Lexan passed by her in the veranda, before he went to face his people, and pressed his palm on her stomach and whisper his love into her ear.
She felt, more than heard, the sudden change in the castle. It was as if a spell had fallen over it. Ch'ali stood and walked out, slowed by her heavy burden. She met Glori outside decked in her best.
"Who arrived?" Ch'ali inquired.
Glori gave her a strange smile. "Faster, Ch'ali. You would not want to miss our guests. They came such a long way."
Her heart crusted with ice. Glori closed her hands around Ch'ali's. Her wooden steps brought her to the entrance of the throne room.
"You have to give her back."
Ch'ali straightened. Rath had always been and probably always will be coarse, no matter his intent.
"She is," Lexan, her diplomatic husband, replied, "my wife now. She is my queen."
"That's stupid!" Rath again exploded. Lexan's guards stepped forward and stopped only at the king's gesture. "Ch'ali is Antar's. She was contracted to wed Zan."
Ch'ali noticed that Zan was, as he always was when Rath was speaking, silent, patient.
"She is married to me," Lexan repeated. "And there is no way you can claim her now."
"Look, what happened there was a mistake. It should not even be taken into consideration because neither I nor Zan was present."
"Your fiancé tried to kill her," Lexan gritted out, the first sign of his true emotions.
"We will take care of Vilandra," Zan broke his silence. "I am still in power."
"And this is my kingdom," Lexan said with finality. "Leave before I create the real rift between our lands."
At that, Ch'ali had to announce her presence. She would not allow Lexan to violate his own principles. Knowing Rath, it would be just the opening the Antarian general needed to finish the war that only existed in his own mind.
"May I see Zan, Lexan?" she spoke, directing her question at her husband.
"For the love of Antar, Ch'ali, what happened to you?" Rath blurted out, staring at her body.
Ch'ali fixed a smile on her face. "Good morning, Rath."
The general strode towards her, even before Zan moved. Rath stopped in front of her and took her hands in his. He brushed his lips on her fingers, the way he always did before he left for battle. "You're big," he stated needlessly. And then he wrapped his arms around her and embraced her tightly. "Does he hurt you?" he whispered.
"No."
"You're afraid," Rath whispered again. "If you want me to take you home, Ch'ali, you only need a signal. Or whisper to me. Use your gift. I can take all of his soldiers."
"I love him."
"You're lying," he decided.
Ch'ali pulled away from her friend and regarded Lexan. "May I?" Lexan nodded.
She motioned Zan to approach her and led him to the garden.
"There are no cherry flowers here," were his first words directed to her.
Ch'ali looked at her fiancé, whom she had loved for so long. She did not deny that Zan was one of the most important men in her life. He and Rath were her anchors in the life she was given. His loss from her life was going to leave a yawning emptiness that would take too long to fill. But he had always been to her a brother. She would grieve when she gives him up, more than how she grieved for Vilandra, as much as she would grieve for Rath, but far less than she would for Antar.
Even now, he still would not look at her. She smiled, because she had known that Zan would have a more difficult time touching her now than Rath would. The general had passion he could not control. Rath may not approve of what she had done, but his love for her forced him to look at the changes in her and hold her. Zan held on to the image of her in his mind, of an enthusiastic girl who was all smiles, who thought that because she loved her people, she should live to love the king as well. Zan held on to an image that was incomplete, but that he believed. He would not look at the woman she had grown into, the woman full of the child another man gave her, a woman with eyes bright not because of excitement but because of fulfillment.
Ch'ali reached for Zan's hand and placed it on her stomach. He winced at the contact. "Zan, you did not travel such a long way to stare at our trees."
Slowly, his gaze turned to her, and Ch'ali saw that his eyes were moist. "How?"
"That you need to ask."
"Ch'ali, you were mine."
She spoke to him with her eyes, with the pressure of her hand as she held his. "I'll miss you, Zan. This does not mean I love you less. You were my family."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Zan pulled his hand out of hers. Ch'ali's heart sank. And then Zan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "Antar will always be your home," he promised her. "I'll see you in the stars."
Ch'ali breathed in the scent of her old life. "In the stars, Zan," she replied.
There was no reason to correct him. Eternity would give Zan a soul mate. He would not wait for her.
~~
Ch'ali stepped into their bedroom after sending Zan and Rath away. She rubbed her aching back. Soon, she prayed the child would be born. Perhaps then Lexan's worried eyes would heal. Then, perhaps, there would be rain.
"They're gone."
She walked closer to her husband, who sat on the bed facing the window. The day was still too bright. Ch'ali wondered why he retired so early.
Then again, she was glad. She wanted nothing more than to touch him. After seeing Zan and Rath, Lexan would be comfort.
Ch'ali sat beside Lexan and leaned her head to rest on his arm. He turned his face towards her and she tipped her chin for a kiss. "I love you," she breathed.
His hands closed around her throat and squeezed. Pale blue eyes were hard as flint as he watched her die.
The black walls were crowding in on her. Ch'ali touched the throbbing pulse on her neck. She could see nothing around her. Desperately, she searched for a way out. Ch'ali looked up and saw only vast darkness that threatened to choke her.
"There's one way out."
Ch'ali whirled around in the cramped space. She pushed her hair away from her face. She recognized the voice. It was the voice of one she loved, hated, and even feared at the same time. "Vilandra," she whispered.
"Well, well." The blacks walls around her vanished. "You remember me." Ch'ali saw the beautiful Antarian princess standing a few feet away from her. "I'm touched," Vilandra mocked.
"I've done what you wanted ever since, Vilandra. I've left your brother and your kingdom to you." Ch'ali shook her head, confused about why there was still such anger in the princess' eyes.
"I see you're happy."
"Just leave me alone, Vilandra. Burn the link that allows you to come to me. I am no longer part of your life," Ch'ali told her, her voice not pleading the way it used to be but firm.
"As much as I'd love to," the statuesque blonde drawled, "Zan would not. He and Rath are going there, Ch'ali. And you can say goodbye to whatever life you have there. They will drag you back here kicking and screaming."
"Zan wanted me out of Antar," Ch'ali replied, using Vilandra's own insinuations the day she was sent away.
The princess' mouth curved. "Zan was opposed to one thing." She extended her arm and held her palm up. Ch'ali's lips parted when a curled image of a fetus appeared on Vilandra's hand. "With Zan's abilities-" In front of her, the baby burst into blue flame. "Imagine how easy it would be to solve the problem."
Ch'ali shot up from her bed with her arms clutched around her stomach. She was left gasping for breath, soaked in cold sweat. For a few moment, she was stunned and frozen.
"Ch'ali." She felt Lexan's arms wrap around her, his lips pressing against her nape. "You're all right. You're beautiful," he whispered in reassurance.
She closed her eyes and felt her tears seep out. Ch'ali tried to blink them away. She extricated herself from his embrace and lay back down on the bed. Instead of turning away, Lexan pressed up behind her and warmed her back.
He heard her sniffle. Lexan did not speak. Finally, Ch'ali turned in his arms and cried against his chest.
"It's almost winter," she said softly, before falling asleep.
Lexan looked out the window and saw that indeed, there were gray skies in the far horizon. Slowly, he raised his arm and carefully pushed away all the clouds.
And then he closed his eyes.
~~
Storms never came and Ch'ali flourished. Outside the castle, the kingdom burned.
Ch'ali waxed until she believed that she looked like the Antarian moon she was born under. The blossoms on her cheeks reminded her of the small red flowers that fell from her childhood garden and carpeted her home.
Often, Lexan would be occupied with matters of the state. Every day the line outside the castle grew longer. Farmers worried; wives wept; children starved. He attended to each with diligent concern and a sincere desire to help.
Sometimes, Ch'ali wanted to step into the throne room to sit beside her husband. He asked her not to. On the back of her mind, Ch'ali wondered why the rains never came to a kingdom that had been fertile and blessed for centuries before she came. Yet any doubts flew away whenever Lexan passed by her in the veranda, before he went to face his people, and pressed his palm on her stomach and whisper his love into her ear.
She felt, more than heard, the sudden change in the castle. It was as if a spell had fallen over it. Ch'ali stood and walked out, slowed by her heavy burden. She met Glori outside decked in her best.
"Who arrived?" Ch'ali inquired.
Glori gave her a strange smile. "Faster, Ch'ali. You would not want to miss our guests. They came such a long way."
Her heart crusted with ice. Glori closed her hands around Ch'ali's. Her wooden steps brought her to the entrance of the throne room.
"You have to give her back."
Ch'ali straightened. Rath had always been and probably always will be coarse, no matter his intent.
"She is," Lexan, her diplomatic husband, replied, "my wife now. She is my queen."
"That's stupid!" Rath again exploded. Lexan's guards stepped forward and stopped only at the king's gesture. "Ch'ali is Antar's. She was contracted to wed Zan."
Ch'ali noticed that Zan was, as he always was when Rath was speaking, silent, patient.
"She is married to me," Lexan repeated. "And there is no way you can claim her now."
"Look, what happened there was a mistake. It should not even be taken into consideration because neither I nor Zan was present."
"Your fiancé tried to kill her," Lexan gritted out, the first sign of his true emotions.
"We will take care of Vilandra," Zan broke his silence. "I am still in power."
"And this is my kingdom," Lexan said with finality. "Leave before I create the real rift between our lands."
At that, Ch'ali had to announce her presence. She would not allow Lexan to violate his own principles. Knowing Rath, it would be just the opening the Antarian general needed to finish the war that only existed in his own mind.
"May I see Zan, Lexan?" she spoke, directing her question at her husband.
"For the love of Antar, Ch'ali, what happened to you?" Rath blurted out, staring at her body.
Ch'ali fixed a smile on her face. "Good morning, Rath."
The general strode towards her, even before Zan moved. Rath stopped in front of her and took her hands in his. He brushed his lips on her fingers, the way he always did before he left for battle. "You're big," he stated needlessly. And then he wrapped his arms around her and embraced her tightly. "Does he hurt you?" he whispered.
"No."
"You're afraid," Rath whispered again. "If you want me to take you home, Ch'ali, you only need a signal. Or whisper to me. Use your gift. I can take all of his soldiers."
"I love him."
"You're lying," he decided.
Ch'ali pulled away from her friend and regarded Lexan. "May I?" Lexan nodded.
She motioned Zan to approach her and led him to the garden.
"There are no cherry flowers here," were his first words directed to her.
Ch'ali looked at her fiancé, whom she had loved for so long. She did not deny that Zan was one of the most important men in her life. He and Rath were her anchors in the life she was given. His loss from her life was going to leave a yawning emptiness that would take too long to fill. But he had always been to her a brother. She would grieve when she gives him up, more than how she grieved for Vilandra, as much as she would grieve for Rath, but far less than she would for Antar.
Even now, he still would not look at her. She smiled, because she had known that Zan would have a more difficult time touching her now than Rath would. The general had passion he could not control. Rath may not approve of what she had done, but his love for her forced him to look at the changes in her and hold her. Zan held on to the image of her in his mind, of an enthusiastic girl who was all smiles, who thought that because she loved her people, she should live to love the king as well. Zan held on to an image that was incomplete, but that he believed. He would not look at the woman she had grown into, the woman full of the child another man gave her, a woman with eyes bright not because of excitement but because of fulfillment.
Ch'ali reached for Zan's hand and placed it on her stomach. He winced at the contact. "Zan, you did not travel such a long way to stare at our trees."
Slowly, his gaze turned to her, and Ch'ali saw that his eyes were moist. "How?"
"That you need to ask."
"Ch'ali, you were mine."
She spoke to him with her eyes, with the pressure of her hand as she held his. "I'll miss you, Zan. This does not mean I love you less. You were my family."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Zan pulled his hand out of hers. Ch'ali's heart sank. And then Zan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "Antar will always be your home," he promised her. "I'll see you in the stars."
Ch'ali breathed in the scent of her old life. "In the stars, Zan," she replied.
There was no reason to correct him. Eternity would give Zan a soul mate. He would not wait for her.
~~
Ch'ali stepped into their bedroom after sending Zan and Rath away. She rubbed her aching back. Soon, she prayed the child would be born. Perhaps then Lexan's worried eyes would heal. Then, perhaps, there would be rain.
"They're gone."
She walked closer to her husband, who sat on the bed facing the window. The day was still too bright. Ch'ali wondered why he retired so early.
Then again, she was glad. She wanted nothing more than to touch him. After seeing Zan and Rath, Lexan would be comfort.
Ch'ali sat beside Lexan and leaned her head to rest on his arm. He turned his face towards her and she tipped her chin for a kiss. "I love you," she breathed.
His hands closed around her throat and squeezed. Pale blue eyes were hard as flint as he watched her die.