Damn The Red Pill

Chapter 7:

"I can't go back can I?"

"No…but if you could, would you want to?" Zell asked. "I mean, at least here you get free food"

"Good point. And I hear Xu is planning the Garden Festival…"

"And her idea of fun is…"

"Dull" We both said in unison. I sat up from the bed and looked over at him. He turned to face me, his face full of thought and worry. He leant in towards me.

"I feel I owe you an apology. We have a rule here. Never let a total dumbass into the Matrix and free their mind, its dangerous and the mind has trouble letting go, I've seen it before when we let Seifer in and I'm sorry. I did it because…I just had to see the look on your face when you saw all that crap…I mean come on, it was priceless!"

"I have an urge to kill you right now"

"I have something important to tell you so listen up. When the Matrix was first built there was a man born inside it who had the ability to change it to how he saw fit…lucky bastard…and it was he who freed the first humans and…Squall man, wake up!"

"Wha?! Oh yeah, go on"

"Some of us have spent so long looking for him, even weeks and whole days, just to find him. I brought you here to tell you this because I believe that search is over…"

It dawned on me. The entire reason he brought me here. The reason why I needed to be shown everything and made to believe the Matrix. Not that I actually did believe such a load of…but.

"Hey cool you found him! Can I meet him? Where is he?"

"No Squall…you don't get it he…"

"…Aw come on man, let me see him!"

"Ugh, listen don't worry about it, just get ready"

"For what?"

"You're training" He used the scary voice again.

"My urge to kill you just increased Zell"

~

Have you ever seen a group of trained professionals…or should I say, dumbasses, make themselves look so pathetic in such a serious situation?! I thought that being brought from my comfortable dorm room into an enormous ship by my fellow comrades was mildly important and serious. I needed training to further my chances of survival and the only thing they had in mind was…

Video clips.

I sat down in front the wide screen T.V next to Nida. He winked and put a DVD into the player. The menu appeared. "Ahem" He said. "Here we use video clips from a few chosen singers and bands to get us in touch with the latest styles of fighting. Okay. You can choose out of these people. Justin Timberlake. Brittney Spears. Michael Jackson. R.E.M or the Backstreet Boys. Later on we can look at some Eminem videos to get you in touch with some punches. He's good at that. So which one?"

"…"

"Oki doki! I think Michael Jackson first, he has all the agility. I'll choose the song…now watch him when the music starts…he gets all 'Kicky' and stuff"

"Can I ask what we're doing?" I groaned. He slapped a hand to his head and giggled. Yes, he giggled.

"I'm teaching you to fight silly! By watching these experts you can take on Morphius and get your ass kicked"

"But I'm a SeeD I know how to fight. And I can take Zell anytime!"

"No you can't silly billy. Now just watch, see! There he goes! Just as he threw his head back for the start of the chorus his feet kick up to his waist height. Watch his reflexes…see?"

"Someone kill me…this is stupid. But…how did he do that? One foot was on the ground and the other was…wow…that is so wrong but at the same time fascinating. Maybe this is good idea"

We played through all the video clips, Timberlake for the spinning and head banging, R.E.M for high kicks and Backstreet boys for the Japanese style wrestling. They are gay so we got to see plenty of those. We skipped Spears because I didn't want to be in pain and watched Michael Jackson over again. The way he managed to twist his body in eight ways was way out of my head. Eminem turned out to be boring because his punches were all the same but we managed to learn a new one where you actually have to push your two middle fingers into your palm, hold you're hand out and poke your opponent in the eyes…

Morphius waltzed into the area and leaned down beside us.

"So how goes it?"

"Well, so far we've seen a lot of new moves and…check this, I downloaded the Janet Jackson Super Bowl video clip!"

"What move did you get from that?"

"None…it's just funny as hell!" He slapped me on the back and knocked knuckles with Morphius.

"So Squall" He asked me, "What moves do you have?"

"I know Sissy-Girly-Slapping-Punches…"

"Show me"

A/N: Short chapter I know, but I can't find my Matrix DVD…for those of you that like those bands, I apologize. No offense intended.