BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY CHAPTER 6 Updated 10-23-04

The band-aids disappeared after the author decided they were no longer funny, so Bill and Chief finally got to explore the evil lair. Unfortunately they wasted several hours walking on a treadmill, vainly trying to get ahead.

"We've wasted too much time," complained Bill. "We need to find E-Dawg fast. But how?"

"I know!" exclaimed Chief. "We shall lure him in with singing. His name ends in 'dawg' so he's probably very hip. We must use a popular song."

"Oh Chief, you know I don't know what them young 'uns listen to any more than you do."

"Hey, just because I'm an old British dude doesn't mean I can't be hip to the lingo. After all, I am a 'dude'. We'll sing a Britney Spears song."

Five Minutes Later . . .

"I'M NOT A GIRL…NOT YET A WOMAN…" Bill and Chief sang. That was the only lyric they knew, and they had been saying it over and over for the past five minutes.

"KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!" someone screamed. A white Siamese cat stalked along the floor, glaring at the duo.

"No, the cat is not speaking." Bill and Chief both gave sighs of relief. "You don't have to worry if this is the sign of the apocalypse. I've spoken to Satan, and he agreed to hold it off until I kill you guys."

"Really?" asked Bill.

"Yeah! Don't you watch CNN?"

"No." Bill started to sing again.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Why?"

"It's annoying."

"Ah-ha!" exclaimed Chief. "I knew no one would be able to stand Britney Spears! Except for, you know, the couple-million who bought her album."

"Are you kidding? I love Britney Spears! I find it to be, like, so totally rude of you to make fun of her. That's what Best Week Ever is for, you…you…hurtful person, you!"

"Hurtful people," corrected Bill sullenly. "It was my idea. Chief just stole it. Anyway, we've still got you just where we want you!"

"No you don't."

"Yes we do."

"No you don't."

"Yes we do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"DON'T!"

"DO!"

"DON-"

"You two, settle down or I swear to Author that I will turn this fan fiction around and you will all go to bed without learning what the excretory system does!" yelled Chief. They were both fearfully quiet.

"Good," said Chief, and smiled. "Now...work this out like mature, responsible adults."

"Ok..."said the voice.

"Good."

"What does responsible mean?"

"Gah!"

There was a sigh coming from somewhere. "Let's just get on with the fanfic, shall we? My cat shall lead you to where I am, so I can kill you."

Bill and Chief dutifully followed the cat until they came to an ornate wooden door. It magically (oooooh! Magic!) swung open. (OK, so it wasn't magic, they stepped on a black mat like at the supermarket, but still, isn't that cool?)

Inside sat E-Dawg, a sinister sight to behold indeed. He was as large and strong as a mighty oak, and lumbered towards them ominously. Chief and Bill cowered in fear, but he only stopped to pick up the cat.

"Whose a good boy? Whose a good boy?" he cooed. "Whose my smart wittle kitty cat? You are! You are! You're such a cutey little genius-wenius, Joey-poo! You lead victims to there doom so well!" He squeezed the Siamese cat, who yowled weakly at looked at the heroes with pleading eyes.

"Martha! How many times do I have to tell you to not sit in my thrown?" yelled a booming voice.

"Sorry Daddy!" squeaked Martha and ran off, dropping a grateful Joey on the way down. The REAL E-Dawg picked up Joey and sat on his thrown. It was-

A/N: WE'RE SORRY; THIS FAN FICTION IS DISPLAYING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE FIX THEM BY STARING AT THE NEXT CHAPTER LONGINGLY. TO PASS YOUR TIME, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.