Mulder started at him, and blinked. There seemed to be something wrong with the guy's shoulders all of the sudden. They looked fuzzy and white. Maybe he was just drunk. "I haven't really given her much thought. She likes that new age-y crap, but she's got some good ideas. Respects my ideas more than Red every did…" He giggled a little. Red. Scully would kill him if she heard that.

"So why don't you put the moves on Monica, then?" the bartender asked. "Make Red and the jarhead jealous-like."

"That's not a bad idea," Mulder mused, playing with the seven empty glasses in front of him. They seemed to move even when he didn't touch them.

"See?" the bartender asked cheerfully, his wings doing a happy flap. "You shouldn't be miserable, there are other fish in the sea."

"Yeah!" Mulder pounded his fist on the bar, making the glasses jump. "Say, can you fly with those things?"

"What?"

"Nevermind." He reached for his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Ten bucks."

"That doesn't sound right," Mulder said with a puzzled frown, trying to divide seven by ten in his head. "Shouldn't it be more?"

"Grand opening special."

"Oh, ok." Mulder started to nod, but it made his head hurt, so he stopped.

"Good luck!" the bartender called as Mulder reeled out of the bar.

It was dark out, and Mulder found himself very confused. Which way did he go to get home? He stumbled around, blearily looking out for cops, for close to twenty minutes before he gave up and pulled out his cell phone and pushed one of the preset buttons.

Reyes was staring glumly at her TV dinner when the phone rang. Desperate for conversation, she snatched up the phone. Even if it was a telemarketer, it was someone to talk to. "Hello."

"Is this Monica? It's Mulder. I'm lost."

He sounded tearful, which worried her. "How did you get lost?"

"I was gonna go home and go to bed, but then I thought a couple of drinks might make me feel better. I never drink, but I thought maybe…Now I can't find my apartment!" His voice trailed off in a plaintive wail.

Having spent more than one Mardi Gras wandering the streets inebriated herself, she felt a stir of pity for the confused man. "Are you near any buildings?"

"Of course I am. This is Washington DC. There are buildings everywhere."

"I mean are you near any businesses. As landmarks."

There was a pause. "6th Street bank."

"Ok, good. I'll come get you."

"Really?" He sounded both awed and grateful. "That's so nice."

"Yeah… see you in a few."

She paused long enough to grab a small bucket, just in case he got sick.

Mulder slumped in the passenger seat of Reyes' car, the bucket held on his lap. "Do you make sand castles? My sister and I used to use buckets like this to do that."

"I think it came with a gift my mom sent me. Something to do with flowers. "

"That sounds nice. My parents gave Samantha to the aliens, did I ever tell you that?" Mulder asked her.

Reyes shrugged, unsure that rehashing all that while sloshed would be good for him. "So… you thought that drinking would make your cold better? I know my dad thought a glass of wine would cure anything, but…"

"Oh…I'm such a bad person, I lied to you and Skinner. I wasn't sick. I just couldn't go back in there. With them."

"I'm sorry, Mulder," Reyes said as they pulled up in front of his apartment.

"It just wasn't supposed to be like this." Mulder struggled to get the seatbelt off, until Reyes leaned over to unsnap it for him. "It wasn't like I wanted to get taken away, so why am I being punished for it?"

"Oh Mulder…"

"You believe in karmic justice, don't you? What could I have done that was so bad this happened?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, any more than I did. People falling in and out of love just happens, there's no punishment for cosmic wrongs behind that. Just hearts."

"That isn't fair," he muttered as he stumbled up the steps.

"Tell me about it."

Mulder ushered her in. "I'm a jerk. I'm just thinking 'me, me, me' and not even thinking that you're hurt too."

"Pain makes everyone self-centered."

"That's not excuse…" He flopped onto the couch. "How are you feeling? You've not even drunk to numb anything."

Reyes shrugged. "I think I'm the victim of my own overblown expectations. When I heard that I'd be working with John, I saw it as an opportunity to pursue him in a way that I couldn't when we worked on his son's case. I built up this big fantasy…and when I got to DC-"

"Poof?"

"Poof," she agreed.

Mulder got up from the couch and wandered over to the CD player. "I've got the perfect song for the occasion."

Mulder rolled up a copy of Omni that was on his coffee table, and used it to mime a microphone. As soon as the words to the song started, he started belting out the song along with the CD.

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win

And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure

He crooned, making Reyes grin.

"You know this one, don't you?" Mulder shouted over the music. "Sing the chorus with me!"

She shook her head, so he sung it alone.

Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

"Now you've got to sing." He told her, thrusting the magazine into her hand. She blushed for a couple of seconds, but he just gave her an expectant look. She picked up on the third word of the next line.

Two by two and side by side
Love's gonna find you yes it is
You just can't hide
You'll hear it call
Your heart will fall
Then love will fly
It's gonna soar
I don't care for any casanova thing
All I can say is
Love stinks

As the song heads back for the chorus, Mulder grabs her hand, but gently, and they both sing at the top of their lungs.

Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

A loud pounding from the vicinity of the ceiling alerted them to the neighbor's wrath, so Reyes quickly turned off the stereo. Mulder had the decency to look sheepish, but his eyes sparkled with excitement too.

"Scully never would have sang with me. Never."

"She's…" Reyes groped for an appropriate word. "restrained."

"You mean uptight. Just like Dog-ate," Mulder corrected her.

* The J. Geils Band "Love Stinks"