Season 11

Episode 2: TOW Rachel Watches the Kids

Rachel walked out of the bathroom with a look of exasperation on her face. Ross was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine from the museum.

"What's wrong, Rach?" Ross asked.

"She's been sitting on that training potty for two hours! She won't go!" Rachel exclaimed.

"It takes time, Rach. When we were potty-training Ben, he would go all over the floor and . . ." Rachel looked disgusted.

"Please don't say anymore," Rachel replied. Ross shrugged and stood up.

"I have to go into work and meet with one of my old students. Will you be okay here?"

"Yeah. As long as Emma doesn't take after Ben and go all over the floor, I should be fine," Rachel replied sarcastically. Ross kissed Rachel softly.

"Okay sweetie, I'll see you later." He kissed her again and left the apartment. Emma walked out of the bathroom with nothing but her shirt on. She had a cute grin on her face. Rachel shook her head. She walked over and picked up Emma.

"Why won't you go to the potty for mommy?" Rachel asked.

"No go!" Emma exclaimed, holding her arms out.

"Well, you need to sit on the potty and try for mommy. Please?" Rachel asked.

"No," Emma replied.

"You're two years old, Emma. You should have been potty-trained months ago!"

"No!"

"Fine, if you don't want to use the potty then you'll have to go take a nap."

"No!" Emma exclaimed.

"Oh!" Rachel cried out in frustration. "Fine." She carried her daughter into the kitchen and opened up the refridgerator. She pulled out a sippy cup full of juice and handed it to Emma. "Here honey, drink this. Then you might have to go." Emma accepted the cup and Rachel shook her head. "Kids."

As Rachel walked back into the kitchen, she felt a trickle down her leg. She looked down and saw that Emma had just peed all over her.

"Emma!" Rachel exclaimed. She ran towards the bathroom and put the girl down in the bath tub. Emma gave her a triumphant grin.

"I went!" Emma exclaimed.

"I see that," Rachel said. "But honey, you're supposed to go in the potty. Not on mommy." Rachel ran some bath water and she put Emma's sippy cup aside. She took off the baby's shirt and the baby sat down as the suds began to bubble up. Rachel removed her own shirt and put it in the clothes hamper. She threw a bathrobe over herself and sat on the edge of the bathtub as Emma splashed happily. "How am I ever going to potty train you? Oh my God . . . I just hope you are potty-trained before you go to school or they'll call you Wet Pants Geller . . ." Rachel put her head in her hands and gave a heavy sigh. Emma let out a squeal as she splashed and Rachel shook her head. "We'll try again later."

There was a knock at the bathroom door and Phoebe walked in.

"Hey Rach," Phoebe said. "I heard bath water running."

"So you decided to come in? Pheebs, I could have been in here taking a bath!"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before," Phoebe said with a shrug. She waved at Emma and Emma gave her a big smile.

"Ugh, I'm trying to potty train Emma."

"Rach, don't kids normally use the toilet . . . and not the bath tub?" Phoebe asked curiously.

"Well, in most cases, yes. But Emma went all over me and so she's in the bath tub."

"Oh. Okay. Well, Mike and I are going to go out to the store. We were wondering if you needed anything."

"How about some patience?" Rachel asked,

"Oh . . . the witch doctor is a little out of my way . . . but anything for a friend," Phoebe said with a smile. "See you later, Rach."

"Bye," Rachel said with a shake of her head and a small wave. Phoebe left and Rache looked at Emma. "Just wait till daddy gets home. He can help out too."

"Mommy . . . I go . . ."

"Yeah . . . all over me."

"No. Poo . . ." Emma replied. It was at that instance that Rachel knew she'd have to clean the bath tub too.

*~*

Monica was all ready for work as she hurried around the house trying to pick up after Chandler. Chandler came walking down the stairs with two baby carriers in his arms. In one was two-week-old Eve and in the other was two-week-old Danny. Monica was finally going back to work, and Chandler was running late.

"Mon, I really have to go. My boss is gonna kill me if I show up late again," Chandler said quickly. He put the baby carriers down on the coffee table. He rushed over to give Monica a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"I don't have a baby-sitter!" Monica exclaimed.

"What? I thought your mother was going to watch them while you were at work until we could find a permanent baby-sitter?"

"My mother has the flu."

"It's Summer."

"It's my mother," Monica reminded him with a roll of her eyes.

"Okay, well . . . did you try Phoebe and Mike?"

"Phoebe left me a voice mail. She's going to the store with Mike. They won't be home."

"What about Rachel."

"Rachel . . . is busy."

"Doing what?"

"She just said not to interrupt her and Ross today."

"You think they're doing it?"

"Not with Emma there all day."

"Good point. Well, I'm sure what she's doing isn't too important. Just stop by and ask her if she can watch the kids. We've watched Emma tons of times."

"Correction, I've watched Emma tons of times. You've sat there and made faces and baby noises." Chandler shrugged and he kissed Monica again.

"I've gotta go." He hurried out of the house and Monica looked at the kids.

"Alright, how do you two feel about staying the day with Auntie Rachel?" The twins, who were sleeping, didn't respond. "Great!" Monica grabbed the diaper bag, her keys, and the baby carriers and headed out to the car.

*~*

Joey was sitting in his underwear in his favorite chair. He was drinking a beer, eating cheese curls, and watching Baywatch. He hadn't shaved in three days because he didn't have a job, he didn't have a girlfriend, and he didn't have a roommate. As he was sitting there, his phone rang. Joey groaned and picked up the cordless phone.

"What?" he asked lazily.

"Is this Joseph Tribiani?" asked the voice.

"Yeah," Joey replied.

"My name is Mr. Jeeves. I'm one of the assistants of . . . one of the heads of NBC."

"Oh?" Joey asked.

"I've been asked to offer you a very special role."

"I'm listening," Joey replied curiously.

"We've heard buzz about you, Mr. Tribiani. We've heard from hundreds of directors that you have been trying very hard for several years to get a solid job and a steady career."

"Yes . . ." Joey replied.

"Well, I'm calling to offer you your own television series about your life."

"What? Like a reality show?"

"No. Like a sitcom."

"Oh . . . my own show?"

"If you could come down to the offices and sign a contract, you'll be guaranteed pay for a full 24 episode season and a contract agreement for the first season."

"You're joking, right?"

"No. I'm don't joke. But . . . there is one other small detail."

*~*

Mike and Phoebe were walking toward their apartment with bags of groceries in their arms. When they got to the door, Phoebe noticed that somebody had slipped something under it. She bent down and picked up an envelope that was half-way sticking out from under her door.

"What is it?" Mike asked.

"I don't know. It's addressed to . . . Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Phoebe Hannigan," Phoebe replied. Mike unlocked the door to the apartment and they walked in. They dropped the groceries off in the kitchen and then went into the living room. Phoebe opened up the envelope and took out a piece of paper.

"What does it say?" Mike asked. Phoebe began to read.

"To my dearest Phoebe and her lucky husband, I don't really know how to tell you both how happy I am for you both. Mike, we may never meet, but I know that you'll take care of my Phoebe. She means a lot to me even if she doesn't know. Phoebe, you're probably reading this and I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. But the stress of being a young father was too hard. I hope you'll forgive me some day. Please accept this check for ten thousand dollars as a gift to start your new lives. You are both probably wondering how I could afford this. Well, the teenage years were difficult and I did my best with meaningless jobs for mobsters. They paid me well and I ketp the money safe in an account. I'm giving you half of the money that was in there. The other half is going to Ursula. Good luck in life, Phoebe and Mike."

"That's from . . ."

"My dad," Phoebe said quietly. "Oh my God. My dad . . . was here. I haven't seen him since my grandmother died."

"You okay?" Mike asked, putting an arm around Phoebe.

"Yeah," she replied. She pulled out the check for ten thousand dollars. "Oh yeah!"

*~*

Rachel had just gotten out of the shower and gotten dressed after cleaning the bathtub when Monica walked in with the twins. Emma was seated in a little chair watching Sesame Street. Rachel was watching her closely.

"Hey Mon," Rachel said as her friend walked in.

"Hey. Rach, I know this is asking a lot, but could you watch the babies today? My mother is sick and she can't watch them and Chandler and I both have to work."

"Mon . . . I'd love to help you out, but I'm potty training Emma and . . . that's not easy."

"Rach, they've already been fed and diapered. They'll be asleep for a few hours. Could you please?"

"Oh . . . okay. That's fine," Rachel said with a sigh. "Just put the carriers over there on the couch and . . . I'll go put their bottles in the fridge."

"Thank you so much," Monica said, putting the babies down and giving Rachel a hug. "Oh my God . . . this is the first time I've left them." Monica began to get tears in her eyes. She bent down and kissed both babies. "Mommy loves you both very much . . ."

"Mama!" Emma exclaimed, jumping out of her chair. "Potty now!"

"Okay . . . come on!" Rachel exclaimed. She rushed Emma into the bathroom and helped her with her pants. But it was too late. The baby had already wet herself. "Oh no!" Rachel hurried into Emma's nursery and put her on the changing table. She quickly changed her pants and panties into dry ones and walked back into the living room where Monica was still talking to the babies.

"Mommy doesn't want to leave you . . ."

"Monica, it's okay. They're safe here."

"But what if while you're potty-training Emma . . . one of them falls out of the carrier."

"Monica, they can't even lift their heads or roll over. They're strapped into their carriers. They're safe," Rachel replied slowly.

"Oh . . . I can't leave them," Monica replied gently.

"It'll be okay. You have to leave them sometime. Believe me, leaving Emma at home for the first time wasn't easy."

"You had your mother bring the baby to the restaurant we were all at," Monica replied.

"True. But it got easier," Rachel replied. "Trust me." Monica smiled.

"Okay. Bye kids!" Monica hugged Rachel and headed out the door. Right after, Eve let out a little whimper. Monica came running back in. "Oh! Mommy's so sorry! I'll never leave again!"

"Monica! They're fine!" Rachel said with exasperation as Eve settled back down to sleep. "Go to work and you'll feel better."

"No I won't," Monica cried. "They're just so . . . so young and innocent."

"It's not like you're abandoning them. You'll be home in a few hours."

"Make sure that they're warm enough and . . . when Eve burps, she always burps twice, so make sure she burps twice."

"Don't worry. It's gonna be okay," Rachel said with a smile. Monica sniffled and slowly left the apartment. Emma yelled from the other room.

"Mommy!!!" Rachel ran into the nursery and Emma was trying to climb into her crib.

"No!" Rachel exclaimed. "That's not safe!" Rachel picked up Emma and shook her head. "What am I gonna do with you?" At that moment, the twins started crying again and Rachel knew that this was going to be a very long day.

*~*

Later that evening, the twins were sleeping and Emma was playing on the floor. Rachel had tried hard all day to get Emma to use the potty but the baby was having no luck. Rachel was laying on the couch with a pack of ice on her forehead. She had a terrible headache. Ross walked in and he smiled at Rach.

"Hey sweetie."

"Ugh," Rachel grumbled.

"What?"

"This has been the worst day ever!" Rachel exclaimed. "I've been peed on, I've had to clean the bathtub, I've been spit up on by Danny, Eve drooled on me, and Emma just . . ." Rachel's words trailed off. "Ross, I'm going to go to bed and you can watch the kids." Just then, Monica and Chandler walked through the door.

"Hey!" Monica exclaimed, running to the sleeping babies.

"Oh thank God!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Were they any trouble?" Chandler asked. Rachel glared at him.

"No. No trouble at all," she said sarcastically. Just then, Phoebe and Mike walked in.

"Guys! You're never going to believe this!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"What?" everybody except Mike asked.

"My dad left ten thousand dollars for me and for Mike!"

"Oh my God!" everyone replied.

"I know," Phoebe replied. Joey walked in next.

"Hey Joe," Rachel said with a smile.

"Hey," he said. Everybody turned to look at him and they saw a strange look on his face. It was part happiness and part sadness.

"Joey?" Ross asked.

"I have some news," Joey said quietly.

"Really? Well . . ." Mike asked.

"I got a job."

"That's great!" everybody said in unison.

"I got my own show . . ."

"Oh my God!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Congratulations!" everybody else chimed in.

"And I have a contract . . ." More congratulations came through the room. "But I have to move to California." The room fell silent and everybody stared at Joey just as Emma walked up and tugged on Rachel's hand to tell her that she had to use the bathroom. But everybody was too stunned to notice because of Joey's unexpected news.

Fade to Black