Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Warner Bros, etc.
A/N: This fic was inspired by the last two episodes of Angel, entitled "Damage" and "You're Welcome". Also a ton of other movies and TV shows I've seen throughout the years, but cannot think of to name. Quantum Leap and Down to Earth, are the obvious ones that come to mind. Many, many, many thanks to Jenna and Melly, who both verified my Cordy for authenticity.
* * * * *
Xander woke up with a start. He sat up quickly, running a trembling hand through his hair and wiping away the beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead when he was asleep. He looked around the familiar surrounding of his apartment and gave a sigh of relief. Sunlight filtered through the blinds and fell on the couch and coffee table.
It had all been a dream.
His sight fell on a picture of Anya and himself on the coffee table and he frowned. He reached out and picked it up, studying it closely. This was one of the pictures they'd had taken before the wedding. The thing that didn't make sense was that she had destroyed all of them after the fiasco they'd called their wedding day. When he had finally returned after leaving her at the alter, he had come back to find the place empty of her things and the pictures of them as a couple removed or destroyed.
This wasn't right. He couldn't be here. His apartment was rubble at the bottom of the crater formerly known as Sunnydale, California. Like the town. it didn't exist anymore.
"Unless--" he said looking around him and trying to take everything in. Unless, the last two years had been one horrible nightmare. Maybe he had never left Anya at the alter, Tara had never been murdered, Willow had never gone evil, the First had never reared its ugly head, Sunnydale really hadn't been destroyed.and Anya wasn't dead.
He looked around frantically. He spotted Anya's purse on the chair near the door and got to his feet. She would never leave her purse behind. The money in it was too sacred to her. She had to be nearby.
"Anya," he whispered, stepping around the table and down the hall. "Ahn?"
He opened the door to the bathroom and then the bedroom and lastly the closet they called the guestroom, but they were all empty. There was a knock at the front door and he ran to go open it, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Anya?" he asked, swinging the door open. Instead he saw the last person on Earth he expected to see.
On the other side of the door a dark haired woman was smiling broadly. Her smile, however, quickly vanished at the sight of him.
"Oh, come on!" she said, looking upward. "You've got to be kidding me!"
"Cordelia?" Xander asked, his forehead creased in confusion. "What are you doing here?"
She leveled a cool look at him, though he could tell that she seemed just as surprised as he was. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Are you a vampire?" He asked raising an eyebrow at her. "Now that you've been turned you're taking revenge on those people that hurt you in high school?"
She sighed and pushed her way past him into the apartment. "Please, as if I'd waste my time on you. I moved on a long time ago."
He shut the door and turned towards her.
"So what's the sitch?" He asked. "Angel in trouble? Does he need Buffy to come to the rescue?"
Cordelia's eyes narrowed. "No, this has nothing to do with Angel or Buffy. This is about you."
"Oh," he said, more confused than ever. He sat down and looked up at her. He waited for her to continue, but she didn't make any move to. "You look good," he said finally, trying to make awkward conversation. "How've you been?"
"Dead," Cordelia said with a sigh as she sat on the couch beside him. "And I'd say you'd look good to, except you're not looking that good."
He followed her gaze and was shocked to see his shirt was covered in blood. He reached up and touched the bullet hole, surprised to find that it didn't hurt. He looked up at Cordelia, his eyes wide.
"Does this mean I'm dead?"
"Yeah, I'm afraid so," she said frowning slightly. She put a hand on his shoulder, and her voice was sincere and soft when she spoke. "I'm really sorry."
He looked up at her. He thought he should probably be panicking about right now, but he wasn't. In fact, he felt pretty peaceful about it.
He chuckled.
"What?" Cordelia asked, frowning at him.
"It's just that I thought there'd be like a tunnel with a bright light or something, maybe an angel or two."
"Hello," Cordelia said, giving him one of her patented looks. "What am I? A slug?"
Xander laughed even louder this time. "You can't be an angel! You're." He faltered at the look that was clearly daring him to finish that sentence.
Cordelia swatted him on the chest. "I'm what?"
"Hey!" Xander said holding up his hands in front of him. "Chest wound here, remember?"
It hadn't hurt, it was just slightly disturbing to see her hit him there, knowing it should've hurt. "I just meant you can't be an angel, you're ..well .you're you. Cordelia Chase."
"And what is that supposed to mean? I'll have you know that I'm more than qualified to be an angel. I could have been a saint if I wanted to." Cordelia said crossing her arms over her chest.
"A saint?" he asked, doubtfully. "Of what? Shop-a-holics?"
"But instead I'm here," she continued, ignoring him. "I had to take this gig. As if I haven't done enough for mankind." She looked at him thoughtfully. "You know, this is all your fault. If I hadn't gone brain dead and dated you, I wouldn't have gotten mixed up with you Scoobies and things might have been different. My life might have been normal and I wouldn't have gotten addicted to helping people. I might even still be alive."
"Why isn't there a white light, anyway?" Xander asked. "I mean why I am here in my old apartment? I never saw track lighting as one of Heaven's attributes."
"This isn't Heaven."
"Hell?" he asked, nervously.
"No, though with this furniture, I can see where you'd make the mistake." Xander frowned at her before she continued. "This isn't Hell, it's just a meeting place. Somewhere that was special to you when you were alive."
Xander's sight fell on the picture of Anya and him. He swallowed. "So what happens next? Can I see-- I mean-- am I allowed to-"
Cordelia looked at the picture. "Isn't that..." She looked up at him, realization crossing her features. "Oh," she said sadly. "When did she die?"
"A year ago," Xander said looking up at her. "She died fighting the First, before the Hellmouth caved in."
"Well, you should be able to see her," she said, then hurried on when his face lit up. "But.I mean, first, there's some unfinished business you have to take care of."
"Unfinished business?"
Cordelia nodded. "I'm kind of new to this, so bear with me. But the general gist of it is this: you weren't supposed to die."
"What?" Xander asked sitting straight up and staring at her.
"Yeah," Cordelia said. "Welcome to my world."
"What do you mean I wasn't supposed to die?"
"It was a fluke," Cordelia said, looking around the apartment. "You know what this place needs? More color. And maybe some vertical blinds."
"A fluke?" Xander asked, feeling the peace begin to leave him. "I'm dead because of a fluke?"
"It's a long story," Cordelia said. "Somewhere along the line you changed fate, and fate came back to bite you in the ass."
"I still don't know what you're talking about."
" Look, I didn't get specifics, the PTB don't really give that to you -- ever."
"PTB?"
"Powers that Be," she said. "But
if you ask me, my money is on when you brought Buffy back from the dead."
"Which time?"
"Oh, that's right, you did that twice. I'm not sure. The point is, somewhere along the line, your actions set off a chain of events and you never should have been in the situation that led to your death."
"Well, that's just great," Xander said standing up and pacing. "So now I'm stuck in limbo?"
"Not exactly. I mean, yes, you are between worlds at the moment, but not for long. You're going to be sent back so that you can complete your unfinished business."
"And what's that?"
"I don't know."
Xander turned and stared at her. "You don't know?"
"Don't look at me like that. This is my first time as a spiritual guide, alright? They don't just hand you all the answers, they sort of just let you feel it out for yourself. I didn't even know I was going to be helping you until you opened the door."
"You're my spiritual guide?"
"Yeah, go figure."
"And you're supposed to help me?"
"Yeah."
"But you don't know what you're supposed to help me with?"
"Right."
"Are you sure this isn't hell?"
Cordelia made a frustrated noise. "You haven't changed at all, Harris."
"You either."
"Look, it's not that hard. It only took me three days to complete my unfinished business. And it was pretty obvious what I had to do once I got there."
"Okay, so how do I get there?"
"Well," Cordelia said standing up. "That's the catch. See, the PTB gave me my chance before I was actually dead. So, I got to talk to everyone appearing as myself."
"But if I'm dead, won't that freak people out? I mean, Buffy's likely to stake me."
"Exactly. Which is why you aren't going to be going back as yourself."
"What does that mean?"
"Okay," Cordelia said taking a deep breath. "You're dead. In fact, while it only seems like you've been here a couple of minutes; it's been about three months down there. Which means that your body is pretty much worm food."
Xander winced and she hurried on.
"So, in order to send you back, you're going to be placed in the body of someone that is just expiring. So while they're moving on, you'll get their body to use until your unfinished business is completed."
"So it's like a rental?"
Xander asked frowning.
"Sort of," Cordelia said nodding. "Let's
just hope it doesn't smell like one. The
only catch is you can't tell anyone who you really are. Believe me, that
will only make things harder."
"How would it make things harder?" Xander asked. "We've seen weirder things, if anyone's going to believe that I've come back in another body it would be Buffy, Willow or Giles. Sunnydale kind of makes you a believer in everything."
"No," Cordelia said, shaking her head. "The PTB's will make things harder. It's not for mortals to know their ways of repairing damage done." She rolled her eyes. "Basically, they don't like for people to know they screwed up. They're pretty egotistical."
"Alright, so basically I get a body for a loaner and I have to figure out what my unfinished business is without the help of the others?"
"Right. There has to be something you were working on before you stopped that bullet with your chest."
"The potentials," Xander said, snapping his head up. "They were being murdered before we could reach them. I felt like it was my fault for not getting to them in time."
"Alright," Cordelia said, "That's a start. Maybe you're supposed to find the killer?"
"This is like a bad episode of Quantam Leap. Except you're a lot better looking than Al."
"Quantam what? And who's Al?"
Xander shook his head. "Nevermind."
Cordelia suddenly grasped her head and cried out in pain. Xander stepped forward, concern evident on his face. "Are you alright?"
"God, this job sucks," Cordelia said, as she straightened up again. "They couldn't get me a shiny cell phone or something? Instead they have to continue with the migraines?" She looked at Xander. "Alright, they've got a body lined up for you. Are you ready?"
Xander took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Don't worry," Cordelia said giving him a small smile. "I'll help as much as I can." She walked to the door and opened it. But instead of the hallway it went out onto white nothingness.
Xander walked towards it, but paused at the last step. He turned and looked at Cordelia.
"I'm sorry I didn't go to your funeral. If I had known."
"I know," she said giving him a reassuring smile. "It's alright."
He nodded, took a deep breath and stepped outside the door.
* * * * *
A/N: Many thanks to those readers who have reviewed to date, your constructive criticism is deeply, deeply appreciated and valued. Please review! They never fail to get the inspiration juices pumping.