Thank you all for your support and concern for my child. I can't tell you
how much the reviews, the emails, and the im's have meant to me.
One thing a review said was that telling my parents the way I did took guts. No it didn't and please don't reward me for my actions. Guts would have been if I had kept my mother shut and told them at a better time. Yes, they did need to know but not in the way I chose to tell them, letting emotions get the better of me. But I still thank you all for the reviews.
I already am starting to sound like a mom ;) It's funny I actually UNDERSTAND all that stuff you know your mom use to tell you what to do or not to do or wouldn't let you do or that advice u got and never understood. Makes sense now ( Please enjoy the chapter Also, I wrote a little bit to the reviews that asked questions or whatever, if you don't want to read just scroll down towards the story.
Amy: Yes you are around my age, about a year older in fact; I am 15, just like Paige is in the story. Feel free (you or neone else) to email or Im me a lot of people had and I have met a lot of excellent people.. ( aim: forevaevil72185 msn: crazylilchica06@msn.com)
Lightbringer : yes I'm aware other countries this is normal, or even abnormal that it has been since I was fifteen, but in this country. It's still very rare. I don't want to be another statistic.. Like 1 in 4 teen pregnancies blah blah. I am gonna prove the statistics wrong... or at least try.
Rose Madder: Thank you for your words, I like to know that people can feel my characters, or see them, and feel they are real as I do, not just in this story. Also it was a real surprise to see you reviewed me cause I love your story Coleville horror... and the series. * I look at the names of the reviews I get and check out their profile, to see if I have written, its great motivation*\
Paigefan: I completely forgot to write about when "Jason" told his mother. I can't believe I forgot until I read your review.. I will be sure to write that in this chapter or the next:
Kristen: oh wow it's so nice someone got a lesson out of my story. That really touched me.. if u never need to talk I am free.
Marie-Heléne : You shouldn't go as far to say you admire me but thanks I really smile learning people get something from my writing
LyssieGirl: I am really sorry for ur friend... it must be hard if she is younger than me
Yes I read all the other reviews and loved them but not enough space to reply to them all.. Like I said I love meeting new people through my writing feel free to get in touch. ~~
Sitting in the giant window, she watched as Jason picked up Nicole "threw" her into the snow. The blonde curls bounced off her shoulders as she laughed and desperately tried to pull her little brother into the snow with her. A slight smile appeared on her face as she watched the two, Nicole grabbing on to her brothers coat, sleeve, and hair, anything she can to take down the much larger man. Rubbing her stomach she let out a soft smile as she finally started to get him down, as he picked her up and began to spin her above his head, the little one trying to pretend she didn't like it.
Laughing slightly, she moved out of the large window and slowly headed down the stairs into the spare bedroom that had been hers for about a week, herself and her parents needing time to straighten their heads before they talk. Sighing, she stepped down the last step, wiping a tear from her eye remembering New Years night.
~
She raced out of the door tears streaming from her eyes. The door slammed behind her as she raced out into the yard, stopping at the car and almost throwing herself on top of it, burying her face in her hand which was now resting on the windshield. She sobbing, mentally slapping herself from telling her parents like that. She didn't want them to find out that way, and she couldn't believe she let her anger get the best of her like that.
With in seconds, she felt arms wrap around her waist and she didn't bother to look up. It could only be Jason or one of her cousins. After a few more sobs, she pulled herself up into the sitting position, tears still falling, into Jason's lap with her cousin rubbing her on the back slightly.
"You're pregnant Paige?"
She just managed to nod her head, as both her cousins just stared at her for a minute. "I'm sorry.. I didn't tell..You. It's just.."
Her cousin held up his hand, stopping her in mid-sentence. "You don't owe us an explanation" A slightly smile appeared on her face, only to soon fade, "but you might owe your parents one."
She began to softly sob again as Jason wrapped her in a tighter hug. "They looked so disappointed in me."
No one knew what to tell Paige to make her feel better; they all just silently stared at each other for a few minutes, only noise was the occasional car passing and Paige's sobs. Jason felt her shivering, seeing she had run out still in the same black halter top and hip huggers she had worn to the party. "Come on lets go inside it's cold."
Paige shook her head softly, whipping her eyes one final time. "No.... No" She repeated softly. "I don't want to see that disappointment in their eyes again. I'll talk to them another day.
"Well your not living out here, Come on I'll take you home. Christian can you grab her clothes for a few days." He nodded and slowly walked back into the house, As Jason led her into Michael's car and they headed towards his house ~~
(A/N the rest of this chapter was something I wrote for my child and I recopied it into here.. And I have a feeling I might have a few more of these chapters. If there are typos I am sorry this is really emotional for me and hard to go back and to reread.)
Paige sat in the large window she has grown to love in a week or so, and basked in the silence of the house. Everyone was out, and she was left without her thoughts. Placing the tip of the pen in her mouth, she pressed it to the beautiful stationary she had borrowed a few sheets from Jason's grandma, and pressed the ink to the paper as she watched the flakes fall to the ground outside.
To My Unborn Angel:
"You're probably not going to read this till you are much older. And by then, million of superstars have written their "children" letters on TV. and this probably will seem lame to you. If you even know what that means in the future. But I warn you this is probably the first of many letters I will write you. Your mommie can get really emotional at times." Paige laughed at herself as she was already crying. Biting her lower lip she stared at the few sentence she already wrote, scared she would write the wrong thing.
"Ok, I lied mommie can get emotional almost always. Especially now. A few weeks ago, when I found out you were real, and I was going to be a mother I was never so scared in my life. See, I have always wanted you. When I was a little girl I would dream about you, someone to love me as I love them, and someone who trusts me and makes me laugh. But when I dreamed about you, I dreamed about the career the perfect marriage and that big house with the white picket fence.
I never thought I would be having you at 15. I am not ready. I am still a child myself, and I am so scared I am going to screw up with you. I want you to be perfect, and I want you to have everything I never had. I want the best for you, and it scares me to death that there is a possibility I might not be able to give it to you.
When I first found out about you, I knew I wanted to keep you. I knew you were what I had dreamed about, just a little earlier than I expected. I was scared, not a lot of teen pregnancies don't work out like they are planned, and I wont let you become another statistic. I always told myself growing up, I'm gonna be a great mom, my kid is gonna do what they want I am gonna trust them they trust me, we are going to be so close, I am going to be the cool mom. etc etc. But it is so scary when it's happening to you. I already think about the people your going to date, how I am going to react, how your school work will be, what you will become. I just want the best for you.
But I know your life is not going to be perfect. No one's life is. Life is going to very tough, and I want you to know you're not alone. No matter how much you think you have it so hard, and no matter how much thing's never go your way, or how much no mater how hard you try you will fail at something, you have to know I have been there. I have gone through it, and you can come to me. No matter what it seems, I will never be to busy for you. You will come first in my life. You are my family and you are now my life.
Speaking of family, I want to know yours loves you. More than you can or ever will imagine. Yeah we will fight, yes you will disappoint us and we will you, and yes we will work each others last nerves. But you are in the most loving family you can find. Your different from most kids, a lot of kids have a mommie and daddie who are married and live together. But just because me and your dad aren't married and don't love each other doesn't mean we don't love you any less. We are doing the best we can with the circumstances, we didn't want you brought up in a loveless marriage. Me and your dad, we love each other. Just not the traditional way. It's a different love. We did love each other at one time, and that love will carry on to you.
Things are going to be hard. I won't lie to you. Your dad and I are going to go through really tough times, but know that you are the only reason we are surviving. We continue to go back for more, taking a beating every time. You're the reason we go through it, and you make it all worth while. My tummy is already growing, I already get the sickness, and I already want to pull you out myself. But when I hold you in my arms for the first time, when I see that precious little toothless grin, it's going to be ok. I have been told about the two am feedings, the lack of sleep, the noise, the lack of social life, but it's all worth it.
You are going to break many hearts, and I cringe when the day you come home with yours broken. It will take all my strength not to break them, but you have to learn the hard way. And I pray.and hope with all my heart that you will one day feel something what I felt for your dad.
Just know that even though it's not the right time, I can't wait for you to get here. And no matter what, things might get hard and we think we won't make it. We have each other to fall back on. We will be each other support. Neither of us will ever be alone. We are a family. Just you, me, and your dad. We are the only ones that matter.
Love that lasts forever Is Only a Mothers Love With All My heart Mom
One thing a review said was that telling my parents the way I did took guts. No it didn't and please don't reward me for my actions. Guts would have been if I had kept my mother shut and told them at a better time. Yes, they did need to know but not in the way I chose to tell them, letting emotions get the better of me. But I still thank you all for the reviews.
I already am starting to sound like a mom ;) It's funny I actually UNDERSTAND all that stuff you know your mom use to tell you what to do or not to do or wouldn't let you do or that advice u got and never understood. Makes sense now ( Please enjoy the chapter Also, I wrote a little bit to the reviews that asked questions or whatever, if you don't want to read just scroll down towards the story.
Amy: Yes you are around my age, about a year older in fact; I am 15, just like Paige is in the story. Feel free (you or neone else) to email or Im me a lot of people had and I have met a lot of excellent people.. ( aim: forevaevil72185 msn: crazylilchica06@msn.com)
Lightbringer : yes I'm aware other countries this is normal, or even abnormal that it has been since I was fifteen, but in this country. It's still very rare. I don't want to be another statistic.. Like 1 in 4 teen pregnancies blah blah. I am gonna prove the statistics wrong... or at least try.
Rose Madder: Thank you for your words, I like to know that people can feel my characters, or see them, and feel they are real as I do, not just in this story. Also it was a real surprise to see you reviewed me cause I love your story Coleville horror... and the series. * I look at the names of the reviews I get and check out their profile, to see if I have written, its great motivation*\
Paigefan: I completely forgot to write about when "Jason" told his mother. I can't believe I forgot until I read your review.. I will be sure to write that in this chapter or the next:
Kristen: oh wow it's so nice someone got a lesson out of my story. That really touched me.. if u never need to talk I am free.
Marie-Heléne : You shouldn't go as far to say you admire me but thanks I really smile learning people get something from my writing
LyssieGirl: I am really sorry for ur friend... it must be hard if she is younger than me
Yes I read all the other reviews and loved them but not enough space to reply to them all.. Like I said I love meeting new people through my writing feel free to get in touch. ~~
Sitting in the giant window, she watched as Jason picked up Nicole "threw" her into the snow. The blonde curls bounced off her shoulders as she laughed and desperately tried to pull her little brother into the snow with her. A slight smile appeared on her face as she watched the two, Nicole grabbing on to her brothers coat, sleeve, and hair, anything she can to take down the much larger man. Rubbing her stomach she let out a soft smile as she finally started to get him down, as he picked her up and began to spin her above his head, the little one trying to pretend she didn't like it.
Laughing slightly, she moved out of the large window and slowly headed down the stairs into the spare bedroom that had been hers for about a week, herself and her parents needing time to straighten their heads before they talk. Sighing, she stepped down the last step, wiping a tear from her eye remembering New Years night.
~
She raced out of the door tears streaming from her eyes. The door slammed behind her as she raced out into the yard, stopping at the car and almost throwing herself on top of it, burying her face in her hand which was now resting on the windshield. She sobbing, mentally slapping herself from telling her parents like that. She didn't want them to find out that way, and she couldn't believe she let her anger get the best of her like that.
With in seconds, she felt arms wrap around her waist and she didn't bother to look up. It could only be Jason or one of her cousins. After a few more sobs, she pulled herself up into the sitting position, tears still falling, into Jason's lap with her cousin rubbing her on the back slightly.
"You're pregnant Paige?"
She just managed to nod her head, as both her cousins just stared at her for a minute. "I'm sorry.. I didn't tell..You. It's just.."
Her cousin held up his hand, stopping her in mid-sentence. "You don't owe us an explanation" A slightly smile appeared on her face, only to soon fade, "but you might owe your parents one."
She began to softly sob again as Jason wrapped her in a tighter hug. "They looked so disappointed in me."
No one knew what to tell Paige to make her feel better; they all just silently stared at each other for a few minutes, only noise was the occasional car passing and Paige's sobs. Jason felt her shivering, seeing she had run out still in the same black halter top and hip huggers she had worn to the party. "Come on lets go inside it's cold."
Paige shook her head softly, whipping her eyes one final time. "No.... No" She repeated softly. "I don't want to see that disappointment in their eyes again. I'll talk to them another day.
"Well your not living out here, Come on I'll take you home. Christian can you grab her clothes for a few days." He nodded and slowly walked back into the house, As Jason led her into Michael's car and they headed towards his house ~~
(A/N the rest of this chapter was something I wrote for my child and I recopied it into here.. And I have a feeling I might have a few more of these chapters. If there are typos I am sorry this is really emotional for me and hard to go back and to reread.)
Paige sat in the large window she has grown to love in a week or so, and basked in the silence of the house. Everyone was out, and she was left without her thoughts. Placing the tip of the pen in her mouth, she pressed it to the beautiful stationary she had borrowed a few sheets from Jason's grandma, and pressed the ink to the paper as she watched the flakes fall to the ground outside.
To My Unborn Angel:
"You're probably not going to read this till you are much older. And by then, million of superstars have written their "children" letters on TV. and this probably will seem lame to you. If you even know what that means in the future. But I warn you this is probably the first of many letters I will write you. Your mommie can get really emotional at times." Paige laughed at herself as she was already crying. Biting her lower lip she stared at the few sentence she already wrote, scared she would write the wrong thing.
"Ok, I lied mommie can get emotional almost always. Especially now. A few weeks ago, when I found out you were real, and I was going to be a mother I was never so scared in my life. See, I have always wanted you. When I was a little girl I would dream about you, someone to love me as I love them, and someone who trusts me and makes me laugh. But when I dreamed about you, I dreamed about the career the perfect marriage and that big house with the white picket fence.
I never thought I would be having you at 15. I am not ready. I am still a child myself, and I am so scared I am going to screw up with you. I want you to be perfect, and I want you to have everything I never had. I want the best for you, and it scares me to death that there is a possibility I might not be able to give it to you.
When I first found out about you, I knew I wanted to keep you. I knew you were what I had dreamed about, just a little earlier than I expected. I was scared, not a lot of teen pregnancies don't work out like they are planned, and I wont let you become another statistic. I always told myself growing up, I'm gonna be a great mom, my kid is gonna do what they want I am gonna trust them they trust me, we are going to be so close, I am going to be the cool mom. etc etc. But it is so scary when it's happening to you. I already think about the people your going to date, how I am going to react, how your school work will be, what you will become. I just want the best for you.
But I know your life is not going to be perfect. No one's life is. Life is going to very tough, and I want you to know you're not alone. No matter how much you think you have it so hard, and no matter how much thing's never go your way, or how much no mater how hard you try you will fail at something, you have to know I have been there. I have gone through it, and you can come to me. No matter what it seems, I will never be to busy for you. You will come first in my life. You are my family and you are now my life.
Speaking of family, I want to know yours loves you. More than you can or ever will imagine. Yeah we will fight, yes you will disappoint us and we will you, and yes we will work each others last nerves. But you are in the most loving family you can find. Your different from most kids, a lot of kids have a mommie and daddie who are married and live together. But just because me and your dad aren't married and don't love each other doesn't mean we don't love you any less. We are doing the best we can with the circumstances, we didn't want you brought up in a loveless marriage. Me and your dad, we love each other. Just not the traditional way. It's a different love. We did love each other at one time, and that love will carry on to you.
Things are going to be hard. I won't lie to you. Your dad and I are going to go through really tough times, but know that you are the only reason we are surviving. We continue to go back for more, taking a beating every time. You're the reason we go through it, and you make it all worth while. My tummy is already growing, I already get the sickness, and I already want to pull you out myself. But when I hold you in my arms for the first time, when I see that precious little toothless grin, it's going to be ok. I have been told about the two am feedings, the lack of sleep, the noise, the lack of social life, but it's all worth it.
You are going to break many hearts, and I cringe when the day you come home with yours broken. It will take all my strength not to break them, but you have to learn the hard way. And I pray.and hope with all my heart that you will one day feel something what I felt for your dad.
Just know that even though it's not the right time, I can't wait for you to get here. And no matter what, things might get hard and we think we won't make it. We have each other to fall back on. We will be each other support. Neither of us will ever be alone. We are a family. Just you, me, and your dad. We are the only ones that matter.
Love that lasts forever Is Only a Mothers Love With All My heart Mom