Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Warner Bros., etc.
A/N: Many, many, many thanks to Mantha and Jachelle, who are goddesses in their own rights. Without your help this chapter wouldn't be half as good!
* * * * *
"Alright." Michael's miserable voice was coming through the bathroom door. "Everything's ready to go. You can pick the ticket up at the airport."
"Good." Xander said, trying to avoid looking at the reflection in the mirror as he buttoned up the light blue blouse. Every time he caught a glimpse of Cameron in the mirror he felt as if he was some sort of twisted peeping Tom.
"You have to wear the pantyhose," Cordelia said, shaking her head. "It's just tacky if you don't."
"I'm not wearing those. End of discussion," Xander said, tossing the hose in the trashcan. "It's bad enough that I have to wear this," he said, tugging self consciously at the skirt. It wasn't really that short, compared to what Buffy and Cordelia herself, used to wear in high school, but it was still much too short for Xander's taste. He couldn't recall minding the length of their shorts back then, but it was definitely different when he was the one wearing it.
"Cam, honey," Michael's voice said, "can I just ask…why London?"
"He cheated on you," Cordelia said, from her seat on the edge of the bathtub, her tone dismissive.
"You cheated on me," Xander repeated.
"If he loves you, he's going to have to pay."
"If you love me, you're going to be willing to pay for that."
"I didn't…" Michael still maintained, as Xander opened the door and stepped out.
"I look ridiculous," he said, over his shoulder in Cordelia's direction.
"Yeah, you do," Cordelia said cheerfully with a smile. "But she looks fine."
"No, you look great," Michael said, stepping towards Xander. Xander snapped his head up quickly, and stepped away from him. Michael sighed.
"Are you sure you're alright to travel?" he asked. "You're acting really strange. I mean, I know you're upset with me, but are you sure there isn't something else that's wrong?"
"I'm fine," Xander said, trying to look casual by putting his hand on his hip in an affected pose. "Don't I look fine?"
"You look like a transvestite." Cordelia said, walking out of the bathroom. "A really unattractive one at that. I think you should reconsider wearing make-up."
"Thanks for that vote of confidence," Xander said, narrowing his eyes.
"Of course," Michael said quickly. "It's just…London? What's in London? Wouldn't you rather go see your mother in New Jersey?"
"I said I needed space. The space between here and London is greater than the space between here and New Jersey."
"I know," he said, "I just don't know why I can't come with you."
Cordelia gave an exasperated sigh and paced in front of the door. "You'd think the guy could afford to buy a clue!"
"Mark, I've already explained this."
"Michael!" Cordelia interjected, stopping in her pacing.
"Mark? Who is Mark?" Michael said, not sounding a little hurt.
"Sorry," Xander said, running a hand through his hair. He had to be careful. He wasn't sure how much this Michael guy was going to take. "Look, the ticket's roundtrip, right?"
"Yes," Michael said. "First class."
"Right so…" He paused and looked up at the man in front of him in surprise. "First class?"
"Only the best for my baby," Michael said grinning at him .
Xander shook his head slightly. Wow, this guy really had it bad for this Cameron chick. He almost felt bad for taking advantage of him like this.
Almost.
"Right, so when I've had enough space I'll come back to you."
"Are you sure it's necessary for you to go half way around
the world? I mean, I've apologized and…"
"Sorry isn't good enough," Cordelia said matter of factly.
"Sometimes sorry just isn't good enough, Michael," Xander said, saying his name carefully. "What's that old saying? Let a bird go free and if returns to you it was meant to be."
"Either that or it's hungry." Cordelia said.
"Either that or it's hungry," Xander repeated dutifully before realizing what he was saying. He shot a glare in Cordelia's direction, but she just shrugged.
"What?' Michael asked, his brow knit in confusion.
"Umm…what I mean is," Xander said, trying to cover. "Either way, I have to
find myself before I can be with someone else. Especially someone else who I'm
not sure I can trust."
"I know, but…"
"Look," he said, giving his skirt one last pull as he tried make it stretch long enough for his tastes. "Either I'm worth the risk or I'm not."
Michael looked him over then, and Xander got the distinct impression that he was imagining him, or Cameron, rather, without any clothes on. Xander actually had to grit his teeth to keep himself from stepping forward and decking the guy. But when he spoke, there was a softness to his voice that was disarming.
"You are," he said, finally, nodding enthusiastically. "Cameron, you go find yourself, I'll be here…waiting for you."
He reached out and touched Xander's face, only to have his hand knocked away.
"We can start over," Michael said, looking hopefully at Xander. "This time I'll do everything right. I promise."
Xander shifted uncomfortably then, an action that was caused more by his almost feeling sorry for this guy who had played directly into their hands, rather than the fact that he was in heels. Though he had the impression he'd be shifting uncomfortably a lot, at least until they got somewhere where they could get some decent clothes and shoes for his body loaner.
"Thanks," he mumbled, reaching past Michael and picking up Cameron's purse. He didn't look back as he walked to the door, instead he found his thoughts wandering to Giles and the others.
"It's clear," Cordelia said, appearing suddenly in front of him. "The nurse is busy filling out paperwork. Go now."
Xander nodded, and walked to the elevators as quickly as he could, only stumbling once in the heels, as the doors closed on the beige walls of the hospital he found himself wondering how his friends were getting along without him.
He guessed he was about to find out.
* * * * *
"I'd like to cash this out, please," a travel-weary Xander said, close to ten hours later in the Heathrow International Airport. The attendant behind the desk picked up the second half of the round trip ticket and smiled at him.
"I'd be happy to help you with that," she said taking it from him. "Would you like a full refund, or to exchange it for a ticket elsewhere?"
"Full refund," Xander said, returning her smile. "I won't be needing it."
After a quick trip to the address on Cameron's driver's license they had managed to track down her passport and pack a bag with clothes that didn't include a short hemline.
The ticket had been waiting for Cameron at the O'Hare International Airport, just as Michael had promised. There had been a wait that had lasted about an hour, and then a change over at Kennedy in New York , but eventually he had finally made it to London in one piece.
Cordelia had left him sometime during the flight from New York to London. She had complained of a headache and said she was being summoned. Surprisingly enough, Xander had found himself missing her company.
He also found himself now alone as he pocketed the pounds from the returned ticket and waved down a cab to take to Giles' place. He'd been there once before, during Christmas.
Xander stared out the window, not really seeing the cold grey morning come to life over the city. His mind was elsewhere, remembering how good Christmas had been. Giles had gotten slightly tipsy on egg nog, Willow had talked all of them (including Kennedy) into caroling, Dawn had been gushing about some Italian guy named Paolo, and he had managed to wrestle a smile out of Buffy by doing the traditional snoopy dance. Even Andrew had been less annoying than usual, not being able to get over the mbuna fish Xander had sent him a week earlier. The last year hadn't been easy, trying to figure out where they belonged without the Hellmouth to keep them busy. He would never have admitted it to anyone, but there were times when he missed it. Not the Hellmouth, so much as Sunnydale. Now that they were scattered and barely got to see each other anymore it made the times that they were together even more special.
"Hey," he said, nodding at the cabbie who kept glancing in the rearview mirror at him. "What time is it?"
"Six-thirty, love," he said, giving him a wink.
Xander settled back in his seat, trying to ignore the man's tone. It was really early, but he wasn't too worried. Knowing Giles he'd been up for a good hour already drinking tea and pecking away with one finger at he computer they'd all given to him at Christmas. Now that they were global Willow had insisted that Giles finally put aside his dislike of computers and get with the times. Xander kind of missed the handwritten letters he used to receive out on assignment, even if they were short and often weeks late. He wondered if they had found them saved and put away in his luggage. He wondered if they had thought him as foolish and sentimental as he'd felt when he put them away.
"Love?"
Xander looked up at the cabbie who was staring at him. "337 Paddington, right?"
Xander looked out the window to find himself on Giles' street. "Right," he said, pulling out the money and paying the man. "Thanks."
He grabbed his bag and walked up to the front door with it's overly large door knocker. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and knocked twice. A breeze swept through the empty street and made him shiver involuntarily. He suddenly realized that he had no idea what he would say to Giles once he saw him. Cordelia had been right, Giles wasn't about to let him in on Council Secrets just because he said he should. He was going to need a plan.
This was probably something he should have thought of on his six hour flight.
He also had to keep his composure. The last thing he needed to do was go all mushy when he saw Giles. He'd have to curb the instinct that was already trying to inch to the surface that would make him want to throw his arms around the ex-librarian and tell him everything. He had to be strong. He had to be detached and…
He didn't have time to finish this mental note to himself as the door opened, revealing a very disoriented occupant.
"Yes?"
"Willow!" He said lunging forward and throwing his arms around her. "What are you doing here?"
He felt her tense up under his touch, something that immediately made him realize his mistake. He let her go and stepped back, even as she pulled away and stepped back into the doorway. She crossed her arms protectively around her and looked at him in shock. Why, oh, why had he done that?
"Do I know you?" she asked, not looking a little offended.
"I…uh…" Xander stumbled, realizing he'd made a serious mistake. "No," he finished finally. "You don't know me."
"How did you know my name?" she asked, reaching out and putting her hand on the doorknob. "And with the hugging?"
Xander knew he was loosing ground fast.
"Well," Xander said, floundering. "I don't know your name."
"You said Willow," she said, her eyes narrowing. "And you hugged me."
He laughed nervously. "No…I said "Wallo". I was trying to be more English. You know, get the greetings down 'Well hallo'," he said in a bad English impression. "I might have rushed it a little. Wallo! I would have said 'Top of the morning!' but that's Irish isn't it?"
Willow was staring at him now, her frown frozen on her face.
"And as for the hug…well I've noticed that the English are way too formal. Stiff upper lip and all that. They need more hugs. I was spreading the hugs."
"I'm not English," she said, positioning the door so that it was between her and him and closer to being closed
"Yeah, I was just so happy to see someone not English that I hugged you" Xander said, he could tell that he was about to get the royal send off. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I was actually, ah, looking for Giles. Is he here?"
"No," Willow said. "He's not."
"He's not?" Xander asked, feeling his heart drop. "Where is he?"
"He's out of town, on business," Willow said, frowning at him. "I'm sorry, you'll have to pedal your hugs elsewhere."
"Out of town?" Xander asked, looking down at the ground. Now what was he supposed to do?
"Yes," Willow said, moving to shut the door.
"Willow, wait!" Xander called out, reaching out a hand and stopping the door. "Maybe you can help me."
"I'm not sure I can," she said, looking over him doubtfully.
"Please," he said, begging her with his eyes. "My name is Cameron Spencer and I've just spent six hours on a plane between a woman with forty-seven pictures of her grandchildren and an overweight man named Bob with a serious intestinal problem. I'm just asking for a word or two. Please."
Willow blinked. "Cameron Spencer?"
"Yeah," Xander said, shifting nervously on his feet.
"But…" Willow stepped back and Xander was relieved to find the door moved
backwards with her. "You're supposed to be…"
She stopped abruptly, her face paling.
"Willow?" Xander asked, startled by her reaction. "What's wrong?"
"You…" Willow said, weakly pointing at him. "You're …bleeding."
Xander looked down, stumbling slightly when he found that the thin green fabric of Cameron's t-shirt was covered in blood.
He looked up at Willow's terrified eyes and swallowed hard.
"No," he whispered, shaking his head while he sat heavily on the ground.
"Not again."
* * * * *
A/N: Yeah, I'm evil. Leave me a review telling me how much. ;)