Title: As You Are
Author: LadyMiriamele
Warnings: Jack/Will slash
Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, nor do I own the two songs in this fic (Jackie by Sinead O'Connor and Shadow by Britney Spears), as much as I would like to.
Author's notes: My very first songfic, as well as my very first Pirates of the Caribbean fic. Feedback welcomed!
Jackie left on a cold, dark night
Telling me he'd be home
Sailed the seas for a hundred years
Leaving me all alone
"We'll find him," Will told the few crew members who were aiding in his search, hoping to raise their spirits. He looked out into the distance of the storm for sight of any movement, but failed to see anything in the darkness. Under his feet, the ground was wet and slippery, not to mention unstable. Rain began to fall endlessly from the sky, the clouds morning the loss of their moonlight.
Desperately, Will sought out any shape resembling human. Jack couldn't have been taken very far; the island was small and uninhabited. With the cruel winds and cold sprays of water dancing through the air, however, it made traveling harder. He heard a few grumbles from behind him as the crew become restless and cold. Will refused to return to the ship and only moved faster. He wasn't going to leave Jack.
And I've been dead for twenty years
I've been washing the sand
With my ghostly tears
Searching the shores for my Jackie-oh
A good half an hour had passed. Will found himself praying that Jack was still on the island somewhere. They were covering ground fairly quickly. Perhaps half an hour more and the search would be completed. Jack, Will thought miserably, his eyes straining and hands closed in intense fists. Where are you?
"I believe we should take cover before the storm gets any worse," someone --- he wasn't sure who --- called out. Will whirled around in response and allowed his anger to flow through the eyes that stared back at him.
"We are not leaving Jack out here." Aside from some grunts and grumbles, they seemed to accept his word as final and trudged onward.
I remember the day the young man came
He said, "Your Jackie's gone
We got lost in the rain"
And I ran to the beach
And laid me down
"He's an old friend and he owes me a favor," Jack had explained to him before his disappearance. "Stay here with the ship and the crew, savvy? I'll be back."
With that, he had made his way on shore, fading into the oncoming storm. He wouldn't explain to anyone the exact reason for their trip to the uncharted island. All he allowed to be known was that his "old friend" had something he needed, and Jack intended to get that certain something. Will knew better than to flood him with questions, so he held them off for after Jack returned --- for the opportune moment, as Jack loved to say. After all, he knew Jack could take care of himself.
But as time passed, the mere fifteen minutes Jack had requested grew into half an hour, and eventually an hour. Restless, Will decided to break his orders --- since when did he listen to Jack, anyway? --- and search for the missing captain. A few others had chosen to accompany him and they began their search, which now seemed utterly pointless.
"You're all wrong", I said
And they stared at the sand
"That man knows that sea
Like the back of his hand
He'll be back some time
laughing at you"
"What's that?"
Will looked around quickly, his body alert. There, about ten feet off to the side, was movement. Someone was still on the island --- and whoever it was began walking straight toward Will.
The young pirate-in-training removed his sword from its sheath, ready to battle. The shadow advanced towards him, slowly but confidently.
And I've been waiting all this time
For my man to come
Will used the flat of his sword to hit a blow to the dark figure's head, making the shadow fall to the ground instantly. Will bent forward to get a good look at the mystery attacker and froze.
Before him, Jack laid upon the ground, unconscious.
"Well, lad, looks as thought you've found the Captain. Were ye planning on bringing 'im back alive?"
Will touched Jack's cold hand gently, feeling slightly embarrassed, but more concerned.
Take his hand in mine
And lead me away
To unseen shores
"Jack," Will called softly, brushing the captain's hair out of his face. "Help me get him up!"
With the help of two others, Will managed to get Jack off the ground. They began a slow pace toward the direction where the ship was waiting. It was getting colder as the rain fell harder and Will suppressed a shiver, making himself continue without delay. They had to get Jack to the ship. As far as he could tell, other than a nasty bump on the head, Jack had no other injuries. But Will wanted to be sure, and taking him to the ship was his first priority.
I've been washing the sand
With my salty tears
Searching the shore
For these long years
Will found himself wondering why Jack always felt the need to keep himself shrouded in secrets. Sure, it was Captain Jack Sparrow's way to be mysterious and keep all his intentions ambiguous. But after all the time they had spent together, through many weeks of training, many battles and tests of trusts, Will thought that they had established a closeness, a bond. While Will learned how to be completely open with the pirate, Jack had seemed to become even more distanced.
Maybe it was just impossible to get a pirate to trust.
And I'll walk the seas forever more
Till I find my Jackie oh
Till I find my Jackie oh
Till I find my Jackie oh
He heard a groan and stopped his walk. Looking upon Jack, he saw the pirate was coming to. He and the others slowly set him down upon the wet ground and allowed him some space to collect his thoughts.
Jack waited until the clouds in his head departed before opening his eyes. He brought a hand to his head and sighed deeply. "Bloody hell, Will. You just love doing that, don't you," he mumbled, doing his best to stand up.
Jackie oh
Jackie oh
Jackie oh
"I'm going to the ship," Will said angrily. His mood had turned foul and he had no patience with which to deal with Jack at the moment. He turned and walked off, pulling his soaked cloak tighter around him.
***
Will removed his cloak, shivering in the candlelight. He attempted to hang it over a chair, but he tripped and ended up dropping his cloak on the floor and knocking the chair over. "Dammit!" he swore, impatient with everything and in the worst of spirits.
"Sounds like you're having fun," Will heard Jack say behind him with a slight chuckle.
He had planned on ignoring Jack after he arrived at the ship, so he held onto his silence, refusing to acknowledge the captain.
Your body's warm but you are not
You give a little, not a lot
You could be Love, until we kiss
You're all I want, but not like this.
"I told you I'd be back."
Will stood up quickly, abandoning his plan, and then wished he hadn't. His head throbbed. Taking a breath, he pushed the feeling aside and said, "You said you'd be back in fifteen minutes! Do you realize how long you were out there?"
"I gave you orders not to follow."
"You gave yourself fifteen minutes. An hour had passed and I wasn't going to ---"
"You're too emotionally involved," Jack cut him off firmly.
That comment sent a sharp pain through Will's heart.
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
"And you're not emotionally involved at all." Will whispered. He was finished with arguing. He just wanted to allow himself to sleep.
Jack handed Will a blanket. "A pirate never allows emotion to get in the way, mate."
Will pushed away a nasty response and instead attempted to slightly change the subject. "What took you so long? What were you doing?"
"That's not your business."
Offended, but expecting that remark, Will turned away. "You should leave."
It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
There was awkward pause between the two, before Jack asked, "Will ye be needing anything?"
"No, I'm fine."
Jack nodded. "Fine, then."
After he left, Will allowed himself to sink into the chair, placing his head in his hands.
It's only your shadow
Here in the room
Arriving too late
Leaving too soon
Leaving too soon
He awoke with a start, escaping the visions that taunted him. Weakly, he realized he was parched. His clothes were drenched with sweat and it was obvious that he had a fever. Coughing weakly, he attempted to sit up, but a firm hand pushed him down.
"Don't get up." Jack handed him some water, and Will drank it thankfully. "Your fever is high."
Will gave him a short, uncaring shrug and snuggled back into his blanket. "This is your fault," he mumbled, his head swarming with fuzzy images.
"You know that it isn't my fault."
Your body gives but then, pulls back
The sun is bright the sky is black
Could only be another sign
I cannot keep what isn't mine
"I'm not sure I care anymore." Sleep began to tug at him once more. "How's your head?" he asked, pushing away his fuzzy, discombobulated state of mind.
"Nothing I haven't felt before."
There was a deep silence between the two; yet another moment of something that failed to develop. Though Will yearned to speak, he held his tongue. Jack wouldn't understand his pathetic emotions. Why bother voicing them?
Your love still lingers on
But you, you are almost gone
Perhaps, Will thought suddenly, silence was the best answer. Maybe he was searching the wrong way. At that very moment, Jack was sitting beside him, because he was ill. Because he did care...
It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
He'd just have to learn and accept Jack's way. Moving a bit closer to Jack, and noting that the pirate didn't move away, Will found that he could read Jack's expression through the little things he did.
How can I tell that you mean what you say
Your say it so loud, but you sound far away
Maybe I've had just a glimpse of your soul
Or was that your shadow I saw on the wall
"Do you remember," he said, closing his eyes, "when you complemented my hat that day, back when we convinced the commodore to let you go?"
"Yes," Jack replied, yawning. "What of it?"
"I just wanted to say thanks."
Will drifted asleep, his dreams now welcoming him with tender, open arms.
I'm watching you disappear
But you were, you were never here
"Goodnight, lad," Jack whispered softly long after Will's breathing had steadied. He placed a light kiss upon his head.
"I love you," he spoke to the silence.